Secrets
by Panda's-Need-Love-Too
Summary: It has been quite a few months since Ilsa joined the squad and it is proving harder and harder to keep her secrets. will they be found out, or will Ilsa succeed in keeping the wall's she built around her. The bigger the secret the harder to keep.. R
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Another story, for those of you who enjoyed my last, hope this one will be just as good if not better, this is just a quick chapter for now, next one will be longer i just wanted to give you a little something till then, and yes more of Ilsa's story will be told! So enjoy**

It had been some time since Ilsa had joined the SVU squad, and since then she had proved a good detective and friend, though a lot of her life she kept a secret and a lot of her past too. Though it was becoming more and more difficult to keep them like so, she had let the other detectives and their ADA in further then anyone else, she was still uneasy at times, and because she had let them in, it was only natural they wanted to know more about her, though she was reluctant with most things, she told them something's. The bigger a secret the harder it is to keep, and this she knew all to well, Ilsa knew the wall she had out up was about to come down, just exactly how it would was still a mystery, and maybe she wanted them to know, if they found out, and still accepted her it would lift a weight, though if they gave her those judging looks and shunned her it could crush her…perhaps the secrets were best left at that…

***

It was a clear night and it was still young, plenty of time to have some fun. And Olivia and Casey were about to go out and have some.

"So were are we going" Asked Olivia as she was dragged by her young frined

"To a club I told you" Casey chimed

Olivia let out a groan "Why? What are we going to do"

"Drink, Dance and maybe meet someone" Casey said with a wink as they walked

Or rather she walked and Olivia was dragged behind her.

They came up to a building, it was large and there were a lot of people outside, they could hear the music from inside the deep and pounding base, they waited in line until they could get in.

"What is this place?" Asked Olivia as they walked up to the bouncers guarding the door

"I don't know but I hear it's pretty good, I think they even have karaoke" Casey said "Maybe you can get up and sing"

"Oh no I'm not doing that"

They were about to walk in when the one of the bouncers stopped them

"Hold it ladies" he said in a deep voice "I have to see your ID"

Casey and Olivia tried to stifle a laugh as they pulled them out

The bouncer walked off

"Hey!" called Olivia

A second person walked up to them and stopped Olvia from running after the man

"He's just going to register them in out computer, it's a policy" he said

Casey and Olivia looked at each other confused

The man walked back and handed them their ID's

"Have fun ladies" he said with a smile and let them pass

"Must be a good place if they have to scan ID" Casey said

"I don't know it I really like that idea" mumbled Olivia

It was a big room, lots of tables and booth to sit and drink, heck even eat, it seemed some people had some food as they drank and laughed having a good time.

They walked up to the bar and each ordered a drink, the bar tender was cute, or so they agreed, he was tan with short dark brown hair, also according to them he had a nice smile…among other things

They sat and drank and were laughing as they talked, also mentioning all the people checking them out

"OO there's one Olivia" Casey pointed to a guy on the end of the bar, Tall dark and handsome

"Oh there's one for you Casey" A young man sitting with some friends who eyes kept darting up to look at her

"Looks like someone if attracting more then the opposite sex" Olivia said before taking another drink

"What are you talking about?" Asked Casey

Olivia pointed to a woman across the room, though they didn't get a good look at her face as she turned and walked away all they saw was long mousey blond hair

"your kidding?" Asked Casey and Olivia just smiled They shared another laugh

The music that was playing was slowly turned down and a man walked onto the stage and took up one end of the large room, tall blond hair, a nice looking man

"Ok every settle down, we've got a few people coming tonight to 'perform' for you" There were a few sniggers and laughs from the audience, strangely enough most of the people had quieted, waiting to see who came on stage

"A few new people and an old favourite" he said and a bunch of people jumped and cheered

"You just keep your pants on!" he yelled at the men, another laugh

"But now let us start"

It was hard not to laugh at a few of the people, they couldn't really sing, though some people still got up and danced to the horrible version of the song being sung of stage. Some were not that bad, but as the night went on, and people drank more it seemed everyone could sing.

As the last Man was pulled of stage after murdering countless songs and a few drunken ramblings

"that was…interesting" said the guy on stage

"Bring on the final act!" Called a woman from the audience

The man laughed "Ok and now last person, though who knows how long she'll be up on stage for" he didn't introduce her, apparently she was a regular.

And then the introduction for Lady Gaga's 'Just Dance' started and a woman came out singing, though she wasn't on the stage long as she jumped down and started to dance with people in the crowd, she wasn't to bad, sounded nice, not like Lady Gaga would have sounded but it was a good rendition.

Casey and Olivia were bopping to the music when Casey grabbed Olivia's arm tightly

"Ow" Olivia exclaimed as she pulled Casey's hand off her.

The girl singing walked off and grabbed the man who had been on stage introducing everyone and pulled him onto the dance floor.

"Do you know who that is?" Casey said with a shocked look on her face

"Who…the guy?"

"NO" Snapped Casey "The girl singing"

Olivia took another look and then her jaw dropped

"I don't believe it…" she mumbled "Is that Ilsa?"

As the song ended another started and Ilsa danced around the room, though most of her dancing was with the man and some woman from the crowd, whether she knew them or not they couldn't tell, as the songs continued she got a little more raunchy, dancing with more and more people, even once kissing the man who had introduced her.

"That cant be her" Casey said as they watched their friend do things they never thought she would

"But it is" Said Olivia eyes transfixed as she watched her dance around the crowd and even jump of the table or chairs "Look at the smile on her face" Olivia pointed out

And sure enough from the time she had come out on stage to know she had not stopped smiling, and not just a little one, a big grin one they didn't think she could have

"How is it we never knew she did this?" Asked Casey

"I knew she could sing, but I never knew she did this"

The songs changed, from rock to up beat techno songs, she even threw in some Celine Dion, no surprise there.

Everyone in the club could hear the woman panting as she walked back up to the stage and put the microphone back onto it's stand

"Ok, that's it people, I'm out" Once she spoke Casey and Olivia knew it was here, no one could mistake that accent.

"Oh come on one more!" cried out some people, they must have been regular too, and they seemed to like Ilsa's singing, true she wasn't as great as some, but it still sounded good to the ear.

The light that were set up above the stage shone onto Ilsa, illuminating her in a spotlight

"That's what you said three songs ago" She whined, The crowd started laughing again.

Ilsa walked off the stage and people began to applauded her, she kept walking until she reached a table and sat down with the woman she had been dancing with through out the night

"Who do you think that is?" Asked Casey

"It's her girlfriend" Olivia said

"Really?" Casey asked

"I don't know" Olivia said

Ilsa was laughing with the woman, after a few minutes of talking Ilsa took the woman hand and lead her to the dance floor.

Casey kept watching the two dancing while Olivia was talking to the man who had been looking at her earlier in the night.

Olivia walked over to Casey "This was a good idea Case" Olivia said before noticing the that Casey wasn't taking any notice

"Yoohoo Casey" Olivia whistled, waving her hand in front of Caseys eyes

"Oh what sorry" Casey mumbled

"If your so jealous go make your move" Olivia teased

"What? I'm not jealous" Casey said with an angry look on her face

Though she didn't look away

"If you wont I will" Olivia teased as she pretending to walk away, Casey started to laugh then just stopped a shocked look on her face

"What?" Olivia asked as she turned to see whatever it was Casey was looking at, then her face mimicked Casey's own

Ilsa was standing with the woman, the woman had her hands resting on Ilsa's hips as she leaned in to kiss her

"Guess that answers the question if Ilsa's gay or not": Casey said

Ilsa pulled away quickly and gave the woman a playful push before shaking her head, the man who seemed to be all around the club came up and wrapped his arms around Ilsa

"or not" Olivia added as they watched the scene before them

Ilsa turned, the grin still on her face and she kissed the man, then gave his cheek a pinch

All three of them laughing as Ilsa gathered her things

"What is up with that girl?" Asked Casey to no one in particular

Ilsa grabbed her jacket and that Black hat she liked to wear so much and left the club, waving to everyone she could and even giving the bouncers a quick hug she was gone

"She's so different outside of work" Stated Casey as they saw her disappear behind a crowd of people and bright lights "Especially when she thinks none of us are watching"

***

Ilsa opened the door to her car and got in, turning the key the engine roared to life, echoing in the cold still of the night

"The look on their faces" she said as she laughed "Wonder what they thought" and she pulled out and drove of into the night

'_Should be an interesting day tomorrow'_

**A/n Yup done with this chapter, will start working on the next tommorow most likely Please read and review it will make me smile :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n yay another chapter, i'm having fun writing this, and though i don't have everything worked out right now i have enough to keep writing, if anyone has any suggestions of what could happen or perhaps any other idea's feel free to say :)  
Hope your enjoying reading as much as i am writing, and any and all critique is welcomed**

The sun was rising, it was early in the morning, too early for some. Casey sat at a table waiting for Olivia to join her for some breakfast before work, it was a nice little place, and they made great coffee, which both women needed of a morning.

"Morning" Said Olivia as she sat down

"Hey" Casey said "How's your morning been?"

"Loud" Olivia said, looking over the menu for breakfast "Bad headache this morning"

"Maybe you had too much to drink last night" she said taking Olivia's lead and going over the menu that was in front of her

"Or maybe it was seeing Ilsa in a new light" she joked

It had been an interesting night, one they hadn't planned on, and seeing Ilsa be so…carefree and playful was a nice change, although she could be like that at work, seeing her with those two people she seemed less guarded and tense, more open…or perhaps they were just seeing things.

They ordered and ate, still enjoying th last of their coffee they looked around the restaurant

"Speak of the devil" Said Casey

Olivia snapped her head around and heading to the line that lead to the order counter was none other then Ilsa, looking happy and refreshed, and slightly silly, She had a pair of headphones in her ears and was bopping to the music, even singing a little

Some of the people around her looked and pulled faces of disgust like she was doing something so horrible, so unbelievable, others were trying not to laugh as they pointed and whispered things to friends. Ilsa didn't seem to mind as she kept doing it, even over exaggerating some of her so dubbed 'dance moves'

The line slowly moved as she reached the counter she opened her mouth to talk, but before she could the coffee was in front of her, she smiled to the girl behind the counter

"T-the usual right?" she asked to clarify

Ilsa raised and eyebrow and gave the girl a lopsided smile "I do like when a person knows what I want" she said with a smile and a wink, pulling out the money.

The girl behind the counter blushed

While waiting for her change Ilsa took a sip of the coffee "mm" she moaned "This is perfect, makes my day when I get a cup of your coffee"

The girl smiled and handed the change over

"See you" Said Ilsa

"B-Bye" called the girl as Ilsa walked off, trying not to drink her coffee to fast, it was good, but also hot as coffee usually is.

"Did you see that" Said Olivia turning back to Casey

"Yeah…Ilsa got coffee" She said finishing her own cup

"She was flirting with the counter girl"

"So?" Asked Casey getting up

"Who would have thought Ilsa was a player" Olivia joked as they left and went their own ways to work.

***

Ilsa was at her desk, hard at work when Olivia came in, They had learnt quickly that no matter how immature she could be, how silly or angry, what ever her mood might be Ilsa was a dedicated detective, much like they were, she got in to work early most days to get a start, she had a deep caring for the victims that some of them couldn't quite understand…though they had their thoughts.

"Any new cases?" Asked Olivia as she hung her coat on a hang and put it away

"Nope" Said Elliot as he made a cup of coffee

Ilsa turned and smiled "Morning Liv" she said with a smile

"Morning" Olivia looked at Ilsa, in her work clothes, which consisted of a purple shirt, her coat, long black pants and that hat, and remember to the night before, she looked different, yet the same…it was hard to explain, even to herself.

Ilsa got up and walked towards Olivia's desk "Oh by the way I never got to ask"

Olivia looked up with a confused look on her face, a sly smile crept onto Ilsa's face as she leant closer, her arms folded over her chest

"Did you enjoy the show last night"

Olivia's eyes opened wide and she couldn't say anything her mouth just hung open.

Ilsa laughed at her face and walked back to her desk

"What show?" asked Munch

"Did we miss something?" Asked Fin

"Yes you did, but nothing you cant see later" Ilsa called while going through the stack of papers on her and Fin looked at each other and shrugged.

Ilsa's phone rang and she picked it up in her usual way."What did we miss?" Much whispered to Olivia "Ilsa put on a show last night, apparently she does it quite a lot"

"Can we see?" Joked Fin

"You can ask when she's going to perform again"

Ilsa hung up the phone and got up from her chair

"We got a new one, young girl attacked and raped on her way to the Hospital, who wants to go where?"

"You go to her, I'll take the scene" Said Fin and they left, another day another crime, another heart breaking story, such is the life of the SVU.

***

Fin arrived at the scene, it was an ally, rank and dirty secluded and out of the view of the public, it was long and cold, even in the warm of the morning sun a lot of the ally was still dark, there was a pool of blood in the middle, some splatters on the wall, boxes and garbage cans were knocked over and rubbish piled lifted the tape and walked under it, there was a pipe with some blood on it underneath one of the big dumpsters, after the photos had been taken, preserving the crime scene he got on his hands and knees and picked it up carefully, placing it in a bag to be taken to the lab for DNA, though he had already guessed it was the victims blood on the pipe.

They went through looking for shoe prints in the blood of anything.

There wasn't a lot of evidence at the scene the pipe and blood on the ground were about it, the ally was dishevelled but it probably looked like that anyway, before what ever happened, happened.

After the evidence was collected it was time to interview people, but before that he pulled out his phone and called Ilsa, to see how their victim was doing.

***Ilsa arrived at Mercy General going through the people to find someone to point her in the right opened the door slowly, the woman was still asleep, they had sedated her on the drive here, she was young had blond hair that came down to her shoulder, a pretty young woman. Lying still in the hospital bed, hooked up to machines to make sure she stayed alive, to let the doctors now if something happened.

Ilsa sighed and walked out of the room, hoping to find the doctor, a man walked up, young blond handsome"So what happened Doc?" She asked as he walked up to her

"We found traces of vaginal trauma, she was hit in the head but was awake when she was picked up, we had to sedate her in the ride over, she's been beaten bad, a few broken ribs and a broken wrist"

Ilsa shook her head "Anything left behind, semen, hair?"

"Nothing sorry, she should wake up soon, you can talk to her then"

Ilsa nodded and the doctor left to attend to other patients, se walked in and sat in a chair that was in the room, sinking into it she crossed her legs and waited, it didn't take long for the girl to was up and by her side, the girl tried to move rolling her head to the side she groaned"Hey don't move to much" Ilsa said in a soft caring tone

"W-Who are you?" The girl asked, her voice was rasp and weak

"I'm Detective Ilsa Couri" She pulled out her badge to show her

"Where am I?" The girls voice was getting stronger, the effects of the sedation wearing off

"Hey, hey your ok" Ilsa said placing her hands on the girls shoulder to gently push her back down onto the bed.

"what's your name?" Ilsa asked, still in that soft kind way

"Emily…Emily Taucher" She said softly

"Ok, Now Emily" Ilsa's voice was even softer is that were possible, as the placed her hand on Emily's shoulder again

"You were attacked, can you tell me what happened?"

Emily closed her eyes, her breathing getting ragged "I don't know who it was, some guy attacked me"

"What were you doing there?"

Emily took another deep breath "Walking"

Ilsa smiled, she knew she wasn't going to get much more from her today, but she could tell the girl wasn't telling the truth

"Are you sure you don't know who did this?"

"Emily opened her mouth to say something, her eyes started to water

"No" she sobbed "I don't know!"

"What the hell are you doing?" A voice called from the door

"I'm-"

"Dad!" Emily called and the man ran over, behind him a woman who looked much like Emily and another young man stood

"Who are you?" asked the mother, Ilsa could tell by the way she spoke and dressed she was upper class.

"I'm Detective Couri, your daughter was attacked, were going to need to talk to you as soon as possible"

"Why?" Snapped the young man

"Routine" She said as she pulled out her card "the sooner we talk the sooner we can find who did this"

The woman nodded and Ilsa walked over to her and followed her out into the hallway

"What's your name?" Asked Ilsa

"Carrisa Taucher, my husband is Jonathan Taucher and my son Joel" she pointed to the two men in the room with Emily

"Where were you early this morning?" asked Ilsa

"You think I did something to my daughter?" She snapped

"I need to ask to find out so we can find the person who did this, it's just routine" Ilsa said

"I was asleep until 8, then I went to a meeting with some women from church"

"Ok I'll need there names" As Carrisa was about to say something Ilsa put her hands up passively

"Just to clarify, its"

"I know, routine you've told me" Carrisa's eyes were going red from holding back the tears forming in her eyes. She pulled out some paper and a pen from the bag she was carrying."Can you tell me anything about Emily?"

"She's such a sweet girl, everyone likes her, and she's always nice, even to those who don't deserve it, who would want to hurt her?"

"What about friends, can you give me any names?"

"Oh she has so many it's hard to remember all their names, I cant tell you all of them but I will tell people at church to come and see you, and if you like you can come by yourself our doors are always open" she said as she stopped writing and handed Ilsa the paper, as she placed the paper in the detectives hand she cupped them "Find who hurt my baby, please"

Ilsa nodded "I will"

Ilsa went back into the room, Emily looked at her questioningly

"Can I talk to you Sir?" Ilsa asked raising her eyebrows and looking at Jonathan

He nodded and kissed Emily on the cheek "Be back soon baby" he whispered

"How can I help?" he asked as soon as they were outside

Ilsa smiled_ 'I like it when the help'_

"Where were you this morning?"

"You think I did it?" he asked angrily

Ilsa didn't look shocked, didn't flinch at the tone of his _voice 'why do they always yell at me when I ask that' she thought_

"Sir, I just need to know"

"I was at church all morning, there were people there who saw me, and I would never do such a thing"

"You and your wife go to church a lot?" she asked

Jonathan smiled "I'm a Pastor"

Ilsa opened her mouth in a silent 'oh'

"Can you tell me anything about Emily?"

"What's to say? She's a beautiful young woman, she has a lot of boys chasing her" he joked

"Really" Ilsa asked "Who?"

"None of them would have done this" he said sadly

Ilsa nodded "Can you think of anyone who would do this?"

He just shook his head "no…" he said softly

"Ok, if you think of anything else to tell me please call" she said handing him a card

Ilsa walked back to the room and saw Carrisa sitting on the bed holding her daughters hand, telling her it would be ok, Emily, though she was broken and battered looked happier having her family there by her side.

"And last but not least" she said

"No" Said the boy

"I have to talk to you" Ilsa said though not unkindly

"I said no, I'm staying here" he said back

His parents gave him that look, the one that can get a kid to do almost anything

He groaned and walked out the room, almost bumping into Ilsa

'_Oh this'll be fun!'_

"What?" he asked when she reached him "You already know my name, and I was with a friend all morning"

"How old are you?" Ilsa asked

He sighed "17!" he said sarcastically "Want to know about anything else that doesn't concern you?"

Ilsa took a deep breath "What friend?"

"Pffft like I'm going to tell you, you're the detective find out yourself" he said before shoving his way past her back to his sisters room "Instead of talking to me like I did this, go find the real person 'detective'"

Ilsa walked back in going past him she walked up to Emily

"Hey" she said softly

"I really can't remember anything" she said quickly her eyes darting to someone in the room, Ilsa didn't miss the way she looked before she answered or rather stated she didn't remembered.

"Ok, you don't have to tell me everything right now"

"She said she doesn't remember just leave her alone!" Joel snapped moving closer to Ilsa "Don't make this worse, if you upset her I swear I'll-"

Ilsa looked up at him her eyes dark "Don't tell me who to do my job and don't threaten me" she said coldly

In an instant she went from cold and dark to kind and friendly

Slipping a card to Emily she leaned in close

"If you can think of anything, call me" She pulled back from Emily and smiled "I'll do everything I can to catch who did this" she said before leaving.

When Ilsa made it outside her phone rung

"Couri" she said "Oh hey Fin"

"So is she ok?" he asked, he was still at the scene going over the evidence with the people there, getting ready to talk to anyone who might have heard anything

"As ok as she can be, she was raped beaten and left" she sighed

"What's wrong girl?" he asked

"Why do people always get angry with me?" she asked half serious half joking because it happened almost every other day

"Wouldn't you get angry if someone asked you the questions we asked"

"Well sure" she said pulling out her keys "But I wouldn't go off my face, I wouldn't have anything to hide so honesty would be best"

Fin laughed "Don't ever expect someone not to get angry with you"

"Oh I don't, but I would feel better if it if they didn't get snippy either, giving me lip and what not, makes me want to smack them"

"Got a suspect?" Fin asked "If you do I'm buying you dinner because we're barely done with the crime scene"

Ilsa laughed "I'll take that, and yes I think I might"

"Who?" Asked Fin

"Her brother"

"Her brother? You think he raped her?"

"Well maybe not, but he was angry and threatened me he might no something"

"I don't like to think about brothers doing that to their sisters or helping in anyway"

"Neither do I Fin, but we have to look into it, and if it turns out he had nothing to do with it I'll buy you dinner"

"Bring your money because I eat a lot" he joked

"Oh honey I can eat just as much, if not more and I'm on my way, I'll help you talk to whoever there is to talk to"

"See you soon" he said then hung up

Ilsa hung up and drove back to the scene, it was going to be a long day, hopefully something would come up quickly, Even Ilsa had he doubts that Joel did this, she couldn't convince herself that he would have raped his own sister, but he did get angry and defensive, sure he was trying to protect her, but maybe he knew more then he was going to tell…

**A/N I Will work on the next chapter when i wake up, because it is 2:30am right now and i need sleep. Please Review :) and Thanks for Reading, makes me happy!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Ok done another one, was going to make it longer but my brother came back from Canada today (Yay!) i haven't seen him in a long time so i'm putting this up because most likely in the next few days i'll be hanging out wiht him catching up, but i will write more promise, hope this keeps you going until then :)**

"Hey Finny!" Ilsa yelled as she got out of her car

"Hey" He called back as he walked over

"So tell me what we've got here" she said looking at the scene before her

"Nothing much, blood on the ground, on a metal pipe a few foot prints but nothing much else"

Ilsa nodded "Matches what I've found out, she was walking and got attacked, her injuries are consistent with this scene"

"Ok lets go" Fin said and they both walked away from the ally

"There are a few buildings here, maybe someone heard" she said nodding in the direction of some apartment buildings

"There so close they should have" Fin said as they walked to the building

They walked in and knocked of one the first door, it was a big building 3 floors a few apartments, might take a bit to talk to everyone here, then anywhere else that someone might have seen or heard something.

Ilsa knocked again and the door flung open

"What!" she yelled, her hair was a mess and she was wearing a dressing gown and some slippers "Some of us are trying to sleep"

I'm Detective Couri, Detective Tutuola" she said point to herself and Fin "We were wandering if you heard anything unusual last night, a woman was attacked across the street"

The woman didn't seem so angry that they had woken her anymore

"Oh my god, really?" she asked "I was asleep, I'd taken some pills I've only just woken up"

"Nothing at all through out the night or early this morning?" Ilsa asked

The woman tried to think "I did hear some yelling early this morning, but I thought it was just someone in another apartment or I was hearing things…I'm so sorry"

Ilsa reached out her hand and placed in on the woman's shoulder "It's not your fault ma'am anything you can tell us will help"

"I'm sorry detectives but I don't know anything"

They smiled though they weren't happy they felt the woman didn't really know anything

"On to the next one" Ilsa said

They had asked everyone they could so far, nearing the last few apartments they walked up to the door

the knock echoed

"What!?" Called a voice

"Police" Called Ilsa "We'd like to ask you a few questions"

Again the door flung open and a man stood their, wearing nothing

"Make it quick I've got company" he said angrily

Fin turned his head and looked away, Ilsa didn't have any emotion on her face

"Someone was attacked across the street we were wandering if you heard anything"

"No" the man said smugly "Well actually, heard a girl and some guy, they ,must have been going at it from what I heard"

"A young woman was beaten and raped and you think she wanted it"

"They all wanted" he said "They just don't know it" Ilsa didn't move her gaze from his, shaking her head at him

"Try not to stare honey" he said with a cocky smile

Ilsa leaned in close "I've seen bigger" she looked down and then back up "A lot bigger"

The man did not look happy "I didn't see anything, I've been 'busy' if you know what I mean" he said and slammed the door

"Well that was fun" Ilsa said sarcastically as they walked back down the stairs

"Seen bigger huh?" Fin asked laughing as he got into his car

***

They stopped to grab a cup of coffee on the way back, though as they were walking back to their cars is started to rain, hard, the smell and sound were strong, Ilsa took a deep breath, she like the rain, always had, living in a small town in a dessert you didn't get a lot of it, here though it wasn't so rare.

Fin ran back to his car, trying not to get wet, Ilsa on the other hand walked slowly, barely made it two feet before she was soaked.

They made it back, Ilsa was still wet, her hair sticking to her face as she made her way up to the squad room, her shoes making noises as she walked, she and Fin made it to the room, and all she could do was laugh as she saw a very upset, and very wet ADA standing the room.

"You look like a drowned rat Casey" Ilsa said

"Yeah look who's talking" snapped Casey

Ilsa laughed "Once difference" She said "I don't mind it"

And she walked off, Casey was not in a good mood, she was heading to the squad room to check up on some others cases when she had gotten caught in the down pour, she hadn't expected it to rain

Ilsa walked back in a few minutes later with a towel in her hand, she walked up behind Casey and draped it over her head

"What are you doing?" Asked Casey, clearly unimpressed

"It's a towel, you know to dry your hair, you do know how to do it right?" Ilsa joked "Here let me show you" and grabbed the towel and started to dry Casey's hair for her.

Olivia bit her lip to stop laughing, and the guys watched as Ilsa ran the towel over Casey's head, attempting to dry her hair.

Though Ilsa was just joking, she was trying to dry her hair, even though she figured it would just make Casey mad

"You're not funny" Casey said

Ilsa walked around to her front and smiled "Yeah, I'm hilarious" she said as she ran the towel over her face wiping of the excess water

"Did you dye your hair?" asked Ilsa

"Yeah why?" asked Casey still not in a good mood

"Oh-uh n-no reason it looks good, I mean I liked it before, b-but this is good too" Ilsa rambled "You look good blond"

"For a drowned rat" Added Casey not so upset anymore, wondering why Ilsa had stammered through her last sentence

"A cute drowned rat" Ilsa said with a shy smile

Cragen walked in to the room to see a wet detective attempting to dry their ADA

"Do I want to know?" he asked

"She got wet!" Called Ilsa "I'm trying to dry her but it isn't working to well"

Casey grabbed the towel and started to dry her own hair

"Don't you need the towel, you know for yourself?' She asked when she felt her hair was dry enough

"Nah, I never really did care so much about my appearance, but do you need some spare clothes" Ilsa said looking at Casey

Casey groaned and rolled her eyes

"I've got some spare in my locker" Ilsa offered

"Don't you need them?" Asked Casey

"I've got more then one set, never know when you might need them"

Ilsa walked off in the direction of the locker room

"Coming?" she called back

"Yeah" Said Olivia as she got up and followed them

"Why are you coming?" asked Casey

"To make sure Ilsa doesn't go off in the rain again"

"Don't count on that!" Ilsa hollered back to the women "I will most likely go out in it again!"

"And if you don't like her choice of clothes, I have some"

They made it to the locker room and walked in, Ilsa had started to unbutton her shirt, opening her locker she pulled out a red blouse and handed it to Casey

"Here" she said "it's the only one I have I think you'd wear"

"Thanks" said Casey as she walked off to change

Ilsa with no shame took of her shirt there also taking off her pants to put on a dry pair, in front of Olivia

"Ilsa!" Olivia said mocking like she was offended

"Nothing you haven't seen" she said playfully, slipping on a pair of black pants

Casey stood their buttoning the shirt, listening to Olivia and Ilsa talk

Ilsa knew she wouldn't be able to hide the bruises along her body from Olivia, one look and the questions start

"What happened"

Those were two words Ilsa had heard more times then she could count, yet she always did the same thing whenever they were asked

"Who knows" Ilsa said, she danced around the questions, never giving a real answer, never telling the whole truth.

"Is someone hurting you?" Olivia asked placing a hand gently of the bruised flesh

Ilsa didn't move, it didn't hurt, she could feel the weight of her friends hand, knew she was touching what should have been a painful spot, but after years of receiving the bruises it didn't hurt to touch them anymore.

"No more then I deserve" Ilsa said as she pulled the shirt over her shoulders and started to button it up

Olivia leaned closer "If you need to talk I'm here for you"

Ilsa let of a soft sigh "Yeah I know" with a smile she looked at her friend "I won't go out in the rain" she said to Olivia as she finished buttoning her shirt "At least not right now"

Olivia rolled her eyes, for as long as she had known Ilsa she could never stop the girl from running out into a down pour, for some reason she loved the rain.

Casey walked back and cleared her throat "How do I look?" She asked

Olivia nodded "Good"

Ilsa smiled "Great, need any pants"

Casey patted her own "Nah Almost dry" they headed for the locker room door before Ilsa dashed back to her locker

"Here" she said to Casey handing her an umbrella

"Don't you need it?"

"I don't have to be in court today, and like I said I don't mind the rain"

They walked silently back to the squad room "Why do you like the rain so much?" Asked Casey before she left

" I like getting wet" Ilsa said as they walked.

Casey left, having gotten a spare change of clothes and the little information on the cases

"Oh Ilsa" said Olivia from her desk "Someone had been calling for you"

"Oh?" Ilsa asked, going through the newest case she had gotten "Who?"

"Didn't say"

Ilsa didn't say a word, but fell silent, she was scared as to who might be calling her, if it were someone she knew they would have left a name, surely, she couldn't think of a lot of people who wouldn't leave their name...but one stuck out most in her mind, she hoped she had broken all ties with him years ago…

***

It was getting later in the day, everyone was working, Ilsa walked out of the room, going to get some fresh air, hoping the rain would stop when she got out side.

A tall man walked in a few minutes after, looking around the room

"Hi" Olivia said "Can I help you?"

"Yes maybe you can" Said the man "I'm Looking for Ilsa Couri, is she around"

"Let me see if I can find her" Olivia said looking at the man, he was tall, nice looking, though the odd thing was his hair, it was completely grey.

Ilsa walked back in and was about to sit at her desk

"Hey Ilsa, someone here to see you" Said Olivia

"Who?" Asked Ilsa as she turned around. Stopping anything else she might have said, her mouth open, her eyes wide and disbelieving, she scoffed a little, wanting to pinch herself to see if it were all a dream.

She walked towards him slowly.

"Who is that?" Asked Elliot

Ilsa stopped in front of him, cupping his cheek gently, smiling that it wasn't a dream, the others watched the almost tender scene before them, though the feeling was lost when a loud crack was heard.

The man stood holding his cheek, Ilsa had slapped him, hard, leaving a red mark

"Two Months!" she said angrily "And not a word…or…or phone call nothing!"

The man didn't say anything, just stood, looking shameful.

"You had me worried sick!" she said shoving him, he staggered backwards slightly

"I thought she would have told you" he offered sheepishly

"It's not her job" Ilsa said, her angry slowly seeping away.

He reached out and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. He held her tightly to his chest and Ilsa slowly raised her arms around him

"I'm sorry" he whispered "How many times do I need to say it?"

"Until I say otherwise" she mumbled softly

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she pulled out of his embrace

He shrugged

"Never mind" she said grabbing his arm "Lets catch up over lunch"

"Sure" he said with a smile

"Your paying" she said as she grabbed her stuff from her desk

"What?" he exclaimed with a poorly hidden grin on his face "With what you eat I'll go broke"

"Yeah what's your point" she joked as the two left the station, his arm around her shoulder.

The others looked at each other "Who was that?" Asked Elliot again, confused

"I'm not sure but get a load of his hair" Said Fin "He was all grey, how weird"

"You know I've got grey hairs" said Munch

"Yeah but your old" Replied Fin with a smile

"yeah thanks" Said Munch dryly, though he knew Fin was just teasing.

***

Ilsa walked back in an hour later a smile on her face and a bounce in her step

"Have fun?" Asked Fin

"Oh it was great" she said happily

"I though you didn't have a boyfriend" Said Elliot

"Jealous?" Asked Ilsa with a silly smile on her face

"Married" he said back

"So who was he?" Asked Olivia "Just a friend"

"Oh he's more then that"

"But not your boyfriend?" questioned Olivia

"Ew that's just gross Liv"

"What he's not that bad looking" Olivia said watching the look on Ilsa's face

"Never in a million years will I see him like that"

"To different?" asked Fin

"To close"

"So he's like your brother?" Asked Elliot

"He '_is_' my brother" Answer Ilsa everyone else stopped talking, since when did she have a brother…

**A/N ok will start the next chapter soon, but like i said Brother home (wooo) Please review and i will write more soon until then enjoy :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Another chapter, sorry it took so long i was having fun catching up wiht my brother, i hadn't seen him for a year and it was great to see him, out me in a much better mood, i hope this chapter is good and i am working on the next, or at least it will when i wake up in the morning :P**

"You have a brother?" Asked Elliot a little surprised

"So that's your brother" Stated Olivia "How come I've never met him?""He was in the army, he was a pilot" Ilsa said, to her it wasn't anything that needed to be talked about, sure it had been nearly a year since she had joined but she didn't want to tell them everything about her upfront. Her brother hand talked to her in some time, she had thought the worst.

Elliot Fin and Munch all thought the same thing why had she kept this a secret, weren't they friends, they had gotten used to her antics her strange mood swings, but the fact that she was still keeping secrets, and something as small as this was so strange, it didn't seem like a big deal and if she was keeping the fact she had a brother a secret, was else was she not telling them

"I've told you about him Liv"

"Why not the rest of us?" Asked Fin

Ilsa just shrugged and silent 'I don't know'

"If your not telling us something like you have a brother, what else aren't you telling us" Said Elliot

Ilsa didn't like his tone, but she couldn't say she wouldn't be upset if someone did the same thing to her

Ilsa walked out of the room, deciding to try and avoid yet another bout of question asking she walked to the bathroom "Did you know she had a brother?" Elliot asked Olivia

"Yeah, but I never met him" she said "She told me a lot about him that he's a pilot and was sent away to protect our country, and something about her being young and him being taken away from her"

Just then the grey haired man walked in

"Ilsa in?" he asked

"She's gone to the bathroom can I help?" Asked Elliot

Ilsa's brother held up a purse "She forgot it"

"So tell us about yourself" Said Olivia as she took the purse form him "Like what's your name"

He laughed "It's Lewis Valentine"

"I thought you two were related, why different last names" Said Fin "Unless the girl is married too and didn't tell us"

"No from what I've heard she's single, had been for a long time, and" Lewis stopped and looked around, making sure Ilsa wasn't in the room

"Don't tell her I told you or she'll kill me, she wont let me say it, but were only Half Brother sister"

"Oh" Said Olivia Before she could say anything Lewis cut her off

"Same mother, different Father , no offence to our mother or to Ilsa but I couldn't stand that man"

"He wasn't a good father"

"If by good you mean diabolical and just plain wrong then yes"  
"What did he do?" Asked Fin  
"I was never told the whole story, but i knew all about it, Ilsa would barely talk to me about it, My Father came and took me when I was younger, Ilsa was about 8 almost 9 when I had to leave, I remember her crying and telling my dad she'd protect me and look after me if he let me stay" Lewis looked sad as he retold the story of when he had to leave his sister behind  
"I don't think I've ever seen someone look like she did when I turned to look at her as I was being lead away"  
"What look?" Asked Olivia leaning in a little, hearing more about Ilsa was intriguing to them, it was starting to make more sense, though the whole story would be more helpful, from what they were gathering, Ilsa didn't have a great child life  
"Like…" Lewis had to think of how to describe it "someone had taken the one thing she had left to hold onto, like someone had sucked the life right out of her, even that doesn't come close to what she looked liked…Like the one thing that would keep her safe and protected had been ripped from her when she most needed it" his eyes were going red as he remembered with great detail the day he had left and the sad and empty look on her little sisters face  
"You know what she did as I was driven away"

Olivia shook her head "What?"

Lewis opened his mouth a few times trying to find the words "She smiled, and waved, but even that couldn't hid the pain she felt, it just made it worse, the look in her eyes was so heartbreaking"

"Lewis, tell us more about Ilsa's past" Pushed Elliot"I blame her father for a lot of her problems, if he were never apart of her life she might not be as messed up as she is now" he said bitterly

"Messed up how?"

"I heard him some nights, when I was still there, he used to go into her room and close the door, sometimes she screamed, I wanted to help but I didn't, all I could do was comfort her when he left"

"Lewis what did he do?" Elliot asked looking at the other detectives, they had heard the stories before, from other victims, but that one of their own may have been a victim to was strange, but it would explain why she felt so strongly for the victims, why she got defensive when ever someone bought up her father, why she was hostile towards people, mostly men.

Lewis went to tell them, but stopped when he saw Ilsa walk in

"Just can't get enough of me can you" She teased, wrapping her arms around Lewis in a big hug

"You forgot your purse, I don't know how considering I paid for everything"

Ilsa took her purse from Olivia "Must have been when I was showing you pictures of Josh at lunch"

"Right well I'll see you later ok" He said giving Ilsa a kiss on the head

"It was a pleasure to meet you finally Olivia" He said holding out his hand waiting for her to take it "Nice to meet the person my sister talked so much about"

He left after that, leaving Ilsa with a smile of her face and everyone else with more questions on their mind, probing for more information now would most likely send Ilsa into one of her bad moods, not one where she just got angry and yelled, they all got moods like that, one where she would walk out, come back later and sit down, only after some amount of time she deemed worthy would she talk again, pretending like nothing happened,

***

It was nearly 6 when everyone was heading home, Casey walked in and Sat on the edge of Olivia's desk"We still on for tonight?" Casey asked softly not wanting everyone to hear them"Sure" Said Olivia "I'll meet you there, is Melinda coming?"Melinda walked into the room, not in her normal clothing but something light, casual and fun"Sure I am" she said, noticing Ilsa sitting at her deskIlsa got up and walked to the small lockers located near Olivia's desk"Are you coming Ilsa?" Melinda asked"Coming where?" Ilsa asked, figuring that all the girls were going out,, but she had not been invited…again, sure it hurt a little, she thought they had gotten past not asking each other out, but still she was used to it."Were going out for drinks, want to come?"

Casey and Olivia looked at Melinda as much to say 'no you cant invite her', the looks didn't escape Ilsa"No thanks hun, I don't feel like going some where I'm not really wanted"

At that Casey and Olivia started to feel guilty, not that they didn't want her there, but the other girl who was going out with them might not, Ilsa was a hard person to like when you first meet her.

"Why don't you come Ilsa" Offered Casey "It'll be fun"

"You don't need to invite me because you feel obligated too, I don't mind really, go and have fun""We want you to come" Said Olivia looking at her with a smile "Your our friend too"

Ilsa smiled "Ok I give in, where am I to meet you ladies tonight?"

***

It was a nice place, not really classy but not a rat hole bar either, Melinda Casey and Olivia sat at a table with another woman, talking and laughing, seeming to have a good time, Ilsa was nervous about coming out, if she wasn't wanted it could make the night awkward.

She walked in, taking of her hat and looking around for the other girls, Casey saw her and waved, raising an eyebrow and the detectives choice of clothes

"Hey" Ilsa said as she got closer

"Who are you?" asked the other woman

"Who are you" Ilsa retorted

"I asked you first" she said

"Now now play nice girls" Olivia cut in

"Texan?" Asked Ilsa looking at the woman

"Yeah" the woman smiled "What are you, English?"

Ilsa's face dropped "And here I thought it was going ok" she said rolling her eyes "I'm Australian, why do people keep saying I'm English"

"Nice out fit" Said the woman

Ilsa looked herself up and down "It's leather so what" she said, she was wearing a white leather jacket with a black stripe down the arms, a pair of jeans and some boots

"Feel happy I didn't wear the whole outfit"

Olivia looked at Casey, nice to see the two were getting along

"Let me guess" Ilsa said still standing in front of the table "You're a lawyer"

The woman smiled "Yeah how'd you know?"

"I got a chill that went straight for my soul" Ilsa said, sure it was mean but she found it funny

The woman did not look happy, Ilsa just smiled a cheesy smile "I could say more but I don't think tonight the night for one of my lawyer rants"

"Rants huh? You got something against us Lawyers?" she asked placing a hand on Casey's shoulder, she was clearly unimpressed with what Ilsa was saying

"A few things actually, but lets not discuss them tonight"

"I'm Abbie Carmichael"

"Nice to meet you" Ilsa said with a smile as she took a seat "I'm Ilsa Couri"

Abbie gave a smile "Your Ilsa, the one Casey kept saying was a total bitch!" She exclaimed loudly

Casey went red in the face "shut up" she hissed

"No, No don't shut up, what else did she say?" Ilsa smiled as she leant in closer

Casey covered her face "I'm getting a drink"

Ilsa grabbed her arm "Oh no, your staying, tell me"

"She said you were a know it all bitch who needed to get put in her place…either that or…what was it you said?" Abbie teased leaning into Casey

Casey groaned "That you need to get laid…"

Ilsa's jaw dropped though she wasn't to insulted, it was just she never expected to have someone say that about her "Oh that's nice Novak" she said with a chuckle

"You're not upset" Asked Abbie, if it were her she probably would have been angry or something

"Pfft no, I've been called worse, but as for the other part, Casey are you offering your services" she said with a playful smile

"You are not funny" said Casey

"On the contrary I'm hilarious"

"So what are we going to drink?" Asked Olivia

they all said there order, except for Ilsa

"Not drinking tonight?" Asked Melinda

"No…yes…maybe" Ilsa said with a confused look on her face

"You come out drinking, but you won't drink?" Asked Abbie

"Any beer" she said and Olivia moved to get up "As long as it's Australian" she added

"Got something against American beer?" Asked Casey

"Australian beer is stronger, so I've been told"

"Really?" Asked Casey

"yeah..and i'm feeling a little home sick"

After the first round of drinks the second was being ordered, save for Ilsa who was still slowly drinking her beer

"Looks like someone is getting looks" teased Abbie as she nudged Casey, Casey just rolled her eyes and then noticed the man looking at her across the bar

"Maybe one of us will see some action tonight" the Texan teased again

"I don't think Melinda will find anyone in here for tonight" Ilsa said and they turned to look "Unless her husband come through the doors" she added

Melinda chuckled "Right" she agreed

"That's guys nice, but not as nice as Ilsa brother"

Casey went wide eyed "You have a brother?" she asked

Ilsa smiled "Yeah he came by today to see me, lousy bastard" she said before taking a drink "hasn't said a word to me in almost two months"

"But you've never mentioned him before" Said Melinda

"Didn't seem so important"

"You two look alike" said Olivia

Ilsa looked down and smiled "Thanks, and sorry to ruin your fantasy" she said giving a sly grin to Olivia "But Lewis is married"

"aw" Olivia said with a look of sadness on her face, though she was only playing.

"is her brother that cute" Casey teased

"Well I got the looks and the brains but he's ok I guess" Ilsa said "I have picture if you want to see"

Casey nodded as Ilsa pulled out a picture hand held out for Casey and who ever else want to see

Ilsa had a huge smile on her face, and Lewis had his arms wrapped around her picking her up off the ground and giving her a bear hug, Casey couldn't help thinking that Ilsa looked so happy in the picture.

"Are we getting checked out by girls now?" Abbie asked looking at the bar where a young girl stood looking over at them.

"Don't flatter yourself" Ilsa said "This one is for me"

They watched as Ilsa walked over to the bar and smiled at the girl, it was the same one from that morning Olivia noted.

She looked so nervous as Ilsa walked up, though Ilsa on her part seemed fine, calm collected.

"Who have thought that girl would be a player" Commented Abbie, although she had only just met Ilsa, she didn't think Ilsa was the kind of girl to go picking up people in a bar, and a girl at that

They watched as the girl laughed and blushed when Ilsa put her hand on her shoulder, Ilsa nodded and the girl smiled brightly, she walked off and Ilsa waved before heading back to the table with her friends….Plus Abbie

"Ilsa the player" Said Olivia

"Yeah" Ilsa said "And I didn't even use my charm" she joked

"So how long do you think it'll last" Whispered Abbie to Casey

"You want to take bets on my love life?" Asked Ilsa with a smile

"Of course not" Said Casey

"Well if you are can I get in on the action"

"No, you might fix it" Said Abbie

"Why would I ruin what could be a good thing" Ilsa asked seriously "But really…I give it until she find out what I do for a living"

Ilsa picked up her bottle and drank until it was finished

"Want another beer to chug?" Asked Olivia

"I did not chug it, I just drank it quickly with out taking a breath"

The night went on, there was more drinking, and joking

Ilsa couldn't help but laugh as they got onto the topic of dating

"What's appropriate for a first date" Asked a slightly intoxicated Abbie Carmichael

"So this is where drinking has gotten us" Said Ilsa from her seat

"What's your opinion? Asked Abbie

"Whatever you want" Said Ilsa, the other just looked at her

"Oh not for me, If you are dating someone you like, you should do what you feel is right on a first date, whether it be a quick kiss good night" and she paused "Or throwing them against the door and ravishing them"

The girls let out a laugh "Ok what would you do?" Asked Casey

"Take me out and you'll find out first hand" Ilsa said with a wink and a smile

Casey didn't do anything

"Joking" Ilsa said, making sure this night didn't go awkward in a hurry

Ilsa sat their rubbing her chin "A kiss….maybe" she said

"Maybe?" Exclaimed the girls

"You wouldn't do more?" pressed Olivia

"I don't know what you girls would do, and I don't judge so don't worry about that" She said leaning back in the seat "I mean it when I say a kiss maybe I have never and probably will never have sex on a first date"

"Even if there really cute?" Asked Olivia

Ilsa shook her head

"Or if they make your heart beat fast and you legs turn to jelly?" Asked Casey

Ilsa looked at her for a minute she smiled and shook her head

"What if you're really horny" Added Abbie

Ilsa laughed but still shook her head

"You can not be that kind of girl" Abbie added

"I am, I have never had sex on the first date, and I don't do one night stands, nothing like that"

"Why?" Asked Abbie "I mean apart from you I say everyone here has done something like that"

"It's a personal reason, one I don't much like to talk about" Ilsa said then got up and headed to the bar, Melinda followed

"Do you want to talk about what bothering you?" she asked

Ilsa shook her head "No"

"Does anyone know?"

Ilsa turned, confused "Know about what?"

"I saw you with him, the other day I didn't know you had a-" Melinda didn't finish what she was going to say as Ilsa cut her off

"Don't tell them, please, it" she paused and took a breath "I was 16, young, i've done alot of stupid things I'm dealing with it but I don't want anyone to know"

"It's been a year" Melinda said "Don't you think you should tell them…tell me"

Ilsa sighed, she had been on the squad for just over a year and she was still hiding things, simple things, though to her they felt momentous

"I'm here if you want to talk" Melinda said placing her hand on Ilsa shoulder

Ilsa didn't move she smiled "I think I'd like that some time, but if you want to better understand why I wont talk about it, you can check my file, I wont tell"

They walked back to the table in silence; Ilsa had a glass of water

"It's late and I should go" Said Melinda grabbing her handbag

"Bye" Chimed Casey

"See ya later" Said Olivia

"Later" Abbie said

Ilsa gave Melinda a hug and said goodbye

"So what about a first kisses" Said Abbie

"On to dating again" sighed Ilsa

"I think people put to much thought into it" She said

"I don't, I think you can tell a lot from a person from the first kiss" Said Casey

"Oh that's bull" Said Ilsa "Kisses can be misleading"

"From a first kiss I can tell" Casey said "From the nervous guy who says he had a great time and gives you a gentle kiss to the guy whose all hands, you can tell"

Ilsa nodded contemplating then shook her head "Nah don't believe it"

"Oh really" Casey said

"Yeah I mean, I could kiss you, it could be sweet and gentle… but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about taking your clothes of at the same time, kisses can be misleading"

"You make a good point Ilsa" Said Olivia

"You should be a lawyer" Said Abbie with a smirk

Ilsa laughed "I do have a way with words, so I'm told; it's a gift I think"

"What is?" Asked Abbie

"My ability to articulate inane ramblings and make them sound intelligent"

"That's all it takes to be a lawyer" she said with a smile

Ilsa looked at her watch "I think it's time to call it a night, before we go from 'what appropriate for a first date' to sex, and I don't really want to talk about that"

"What sex? it's a natural thing" Said Abbie, finishing her latest drink

"Yeah" Ilsa said

"Aw what's wrong haven't had any in a while"

"Hah!" claimed Ilsa "A while is an understatement"

"What a few months"

Ilsa shook her head "try years"

"Damn girl!" Abbie exclaimed "What happened?" she asked in all sincerity

"I never met anyone after my last relationship, was working a lot, sex isntt that important to me"

Abbie lent across the table, almost knocking the other cups off as she did, she placed her hand on Ilsa head "You feeling ok? I mean something 'must' be wrong if you're thinking like that"

Ilsa pulled Abbie's hand of her head "I think we need to call you a cab"

"I agree" Said Olivia

They walked out the front and put Olivia and Abbie in a cab together

Casey said she wanted to walk home, and Ilsa refused to let her go alone

"it's dangerous" Ilsa said

"I'm a big girl" Casey said getting alittle ticked off the Ilsa wouldn't let her walk home

"Then I'll walk with you"

Casey sighed and gave in "And they say chivalry is dead"

They walked in silence for a while; Ilsa had her hand in her pockets and he head hung low

"You know" Said Casey looking up at the stars as they walked "We've been working together for a while and I still don't know so much about you"

Ilsa nodded "What do you want to know?"

"If I asked would you really tell me?"

Ilsa just shrugged "Ask and you'll find out"

"Tell me about you mom"

"My mum was an amazing woman" Ilsa said

As she spoke about her mother Casey couldn't help but notice how her face lit up, how beautiful she looked with a smile on her face

"I mean she was an angel" Ilsa finished "Always knew what to say, what to do to make me feel better"

"Where is she?" Asked Casey as they crossed a street

Ilsa didn't look at her, her face dropped and went from happy to sad "Shes….dead" Ilsa said sadly "Died along time ago" she added

"I'm sorry" said Casey; she had no idea that Ilsa's mother was dead

"Not your fault" She said softly

After a few minutes of silence Ilsa looked up and smiled "Anything else you want to know?"

Casey shook her head, though there was more, she didn't feel right now was the best time, she was just enjoying the company, she had been dealing with strange feelings since Ilsa had first joined, the flirting had been strange and she couldn't tell if Ilsa was serious or just having fun, Ilsa was a kind woman, and beautiful, but Casey didn't know if Ilsa was gay or not, though the scene tonight with the girl at the bar would point to yes, yes she is, Casey didn't want to ask, didn't want to ruin a good friendship for something that might not even be there.

Ilsa put her arm around Casey shoulder and pulled her closer, snapping Casey out of her thoughts, Ilsa smiled her eyes bright and Casey smiled back

"Here we are" Said Ilsa

"Seems we do this a lot" Said Casey remembering all the times Ilsa had walked her home after a night out with friends, or even when they had a dinner together, whether it could be called 'dating' or not, Casey thought it was sweet

"Yeah" Ilsa said looking a little nervous "I like to make sure you get home safe" she added

"Well thank you, and I hope you didn't mind Abbie"

"nah, she's cool"

"For a lawyer" Casey joked "Oh and her convocation about dating, didn't make you feel uncomfortable I mean you did tell me about your last relationship"

Ilsa smiled, it was nice that Casey cared about her "If I was really uncomfortable I wouldn't have told you the truth"

"That was the truth?"

"Yeah, no sex, a kiss if I like the person enough"

"And here I thought you were joking, but then again you did go and tell me how kisses can be misleading"

"They can, but only if that person wants it to be"

"Because you're the expert on dating and kissing" Casey said with a smile

"I've kissed my share of people" Ilsa said pretending to be smug about it "I could show you but that might be awkward for you"

Casey and Ilsa laughed

Ilsa smiled as Casey reached into her bag and pulled out her keys, Casey fished them out and looked at Ilsa again, and she knew the woman wouldn't walk away until she opened the door

Ilsa didn't know why but something compelled her to do it, maybe it was because she thought Casey to be a beautiful person, or the few drinks she had consumed at the bar, but she walked up to Casey and pressed her lips to Casey's, she kissed her softly, quickly.

Casey had had a bit to drink, and maybe it was the alcohol clouding her brain, but she didn't pull away until Ilsa did.

"I'll see you later Casey" she said, and once Casey had opened the door Ilsa walked away, hailing a cab to take her home.

Casey shut the door 'did I really just kiss my friend?' she thought what would Ilsa think? What would Ilsa do? She might have just ruined a good friendship! Oh how would she work if she couldn't look at Ilsa again? Had she liked the kiss? She couldn't tell had it really happened? She had been drinking maybe she just dreamed it, did it mean Ilsa was interested in her…but what about the girl at the bar… Maybe Ilsa was just proving her point about first kisses

Still Casey went to sleep thinking about the detective, well that and a headache, she was tired along day a work, a rather confusing ending to a nice night and alcohol, she knew without a doubt she would wake up with a bad headache to deal with in the morning.

**A/n Please read and review, i would like to know Good? Bad? Terrible? i wont be upset i just want the truth :) thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N yay another one, I'm trying to make them longer and the idea i had originally didn't work the way i planned but i hope this is just as good, i was sick today so i was working extra on it, i may not be updating so much soon as i am going back to school and it'll take up alot of time because i want to do my best (more to the story i just don't want to tell all of it)  
So i hope you enjoy and please Review will work on the next chapter soon :)**

Casey was standing in line waiting to get a much needed cup of coffee. She didn't notice when someone came up behind her, the person grabbed her sides and tickled her

"BOO!" the voice yelled

Casey spun around and saw Ilsa standing there, a big grin on her face 'the person I didn't want to see right now' she thought

"What?" Casey asked clearly unimpressed

"Nothing I saw you and decided to come and say g'day" Ilsa was still smiling but was finally starting to notice Casey was in a less then happy mood

Ilsa stood next to Casey in complete silence while they got their drinks, they walked and sat down at a table, Casey was trying to think how to handle the situation, and Ilsa….Ilsa was completely oblivious to what Casey was feeling, her mind was wandering all over the place.

"Ilsa I think we need to talk" Casey said bluntly

Ilsa blinked a few times, and then it hit her "Oh about last night"

"Look about what happened…" Casey started

"Yeah I'm sorry, I guess I wasn't thinking" Ilsa said looking very apologetic "I was just proving my point, though my method might have been a little unorthodox"

"Your point?" Asked Casey

"You said you know everything on the first kiss, but tell me what did you learn about me"

Casey smiled 'so it was to prove her point'

"You learnt that I like you enough to kiss you, but what else really"

Casey opened her mouth but couldn't say anything, Ilsa was still the same person she had met almost a year ago, the kiss didn't change anything and apparently hadn't meant anything either, but that didn't mean that she didn't want it to

"See I proved my point although I am so sorry if I made you uncomfortable"

Casey smiled "it's OK, we had a bit to drink i-"

"Hold up Casey, since you didn't learn anything from our kiss I'll let you know now" Ilsa took a breath "I have never and will never accept 'I was drunk' or 'I've had to much to drink' as an excuse for anything"

Casey started "for anything?"

"Nothing" Ilsa replied "I never have and I never will and just so you know I knew what I was doing"

Casey let out a soft chuckle

"See you can't learn everything from one kiss, I mean did you know I'm a sucker for romance"

Casey laughed "you?"

"Yes and that I adore classical music"

"Really?"

"Though it may seem from my appearance and the way I act that I am a person who would not like such things, I actually do, another point on how looks can be misleading"

"I never would have thought"

Ilsa took a sip of her coffee and smiled "Oh and another way I proved my point is that last night didn't answer the question you've been wanting to ask for a while now"

Casey raised an eyebrow "And that question would be?"

"Am I Gay?"

Casey coughed "Are you?" she asked

Ilsa smiled "Are you?"

Casey didn't answer

"Don't tell me you never did the collage experiment, I know you did, hell I know I did when I went" Ilsa teased

Casey just laughed and shook her head as Ilsa leaned in closer "Don't tell me, I don't mind"

"Hey Ilsa"

"mmm" Ilsa mumbled while finishing her coffee

"Tell me more about yourself"

Ilsa put the cup down and smiled "Like what?"

"You told me about your mom, what about your dad?"

Ilsa went stiff in her chair and the mood she was in went from happy and carefree to cold

"I don't know where he is" she said in a cold voice "I broke all contact with him"

"When?"

"When I was 14 he kicked me out of the house"

Casey looked shocked "At 14?"

Ilsa nodded slowly "See this tattoo" she said holding out her hand

"Yeah it's nice" Casey said not knowing what that had to do with their topic of convocation, maybe Ilsa just wanted to change the subject

"That's why he kicked me out"

"Oh" Casey said, then snapped to attention "But you were 14 how did you get a tattoo?"

"I had a friend play as my legal guardian" Ilsa said with a sly smile

"You broke the law" Casey said trying to looked shock but not quite pulling it off

"Not the first time"

Casey did looked shocked now "What else have you done?"

"Oh that's my little secret" Ilsa said with a wink

"Why didn't your mom take you in?" Casey said, when Ilsa looked down at the table she knew she had said something wrong "Ilsa I'm sorry"

Ilsa shook her head "You didn't know she died when I was 10" Ilsa said, her voice sounded tight

Casey placed her hand over Ilsa's to try and comfort her

10 was an age when girls still needed their mothers, to lose her at such a young age must have been heartbreaking.  
Seeing that Ilsa wasn't going to say anything more on the topic of her parents Casey decided to change it

"So collage" Said Casey hoping to get Ilsa talking again

"Yeah, I didn't go to a big collage like I'm sure you did, I couldn't afford it, but I was happy where I was"

"What did you study?" Case asked

"Guess"

"Hm…Music?"

Ilsa smiled "No not quite"

"Tell me I'll probably never guess" Casey said

"You give up to easily, but ok I studied Law among other things"

Casey couldn't hide the surprise on her face, the woman who had from the moment they met made her dislike for lawyers known, had studied to become one.

"Really?" Casey asked for clarification

"Yeah, if I wanted to I could have become a lawyer but I much rather a detective"

"Did you finish or?" she let the question hang

Ilsa nodded her head "Of course, how else would I have become the detective I am today"

"Huh, I never would have guessed"

"I studied everything they told me to; even law, Cragen helped me out a lot when I needed it"

"That was nice of him" Casey said with a smile

"He's a great man" Ilsa said

"Do you mind if I ask why you hate lawyers so much?"

"You can ask honey, but that doesn't mean I'll answer"

"Well why do you?"

Ilsa sighed "I've had a few personal encounters with lawyers and it was not a good thing"

"Care to say more?"

Ilsa smiled "Pushy" she said "but no, it's strange but I can't tell these things to strangers"

"I'm not a stranger" Casey said

"And if you let me finish" Ilsa said giving Casey's arm a light smack "I don't want to tell my friends out of fear of being judged or hated"

"You think I'd judge you?" Asked Casey

Ilsa shrugged "I don't talk a lot about my life"

"If you want to I'm here"

Ilsa smiled "Thanks, maybe one day you will find out, and on that day I hope you don't run"

"Takes a lot to make me run away" Casey said

Ilsa smiled and as Casey finished the last of her coffee they headed to work

Casey was happy that Ilsa was opening up, though still confused about the whole situation.

***

Ilsa was sitting at her desk when a young man with short brown hair walked up to her

"Hi" he said

"G'day can I help you?"

"Maybe I'm looking for a Detective Couri, know where I might find them?"

"You're looking at her, what can I do for you?"

He smiled "Actually it's more what I can do for you, Carrisa Taucher told me to come over and see you"

"Really? Are you one of Emily's friends?" Ilsa asked

"Yes, my name is Asael and I want to help anyway I can" he said with a charming smile

Ilsa smiled back and lead him into an interview room

"So how do you know Emily?" Ilsa asked in her nicest voice"We went to school together, church to that where her mother found me and told me to come see you""So you two are close then?"

Asael smiled "Yes, but I did not hurt her"

"I wasn't saying you did" Ilsa said

"No but you think I had something to do with it, but I was with Joel"

"Her brother?"

Asael nodded his head "He and I are good friends"

"He's a lot younger then you" she said

"So that means we can't be friends, I see him all the time at church, when I go over to their house"

"Point taken, so you and he were doing what?"

"We were at my house, playing video games and talking, you know guy stuff"

"Sounds like fun, Joel seemed really defensive when I talked to him, any ideas why?"

Asael looked around the room, he seemed nervous

"If you know something Asael you need to tell me"

"Joel hasn't done anything wrong but a while back some guys kept bothering Emily, we asked them to leave her alone and they said no so we…had to fine another way to get rid of them"

Ilsa raised an eyebrow "You beat them up?"

"And you think I did something wrong? They were harassing her!" his voice grew loud as did his anger

"Yes you beat them up, give me their names and I'll talk to them"

Asael nodded "Mitchell and Carl Reyes"

"Ok, I'll go and have a chat with them"

"Asael, that's an interesting name" Ilsa commented

"Something wrong with is detective?"

Ilsa shook her head "No, I like it, like I said interesting"

"And may I ask what your name is?"

Ilsa smiled "Ilsa Couri"

"Ilsa, also an interesting name, well" he said standing up "It was a pleasure to meet you" he extended his hand and Ilsa took it quickly, shaking and letting go

"Nice to meet you to, if you can think of anything else to tell us please call me"

They walked to the door and left

"I'll be sure to call" he said as he walked off "and detective"

Ilsa looked up at him with a raised eyebrow

"Please catch them, the sinner must be punished"

Ilsa shook her head and walked over to the rest of the detectives

"So what do we have?" Asked Fin

"Two more people to go and talk to"

"Who?" asked Olivia

"A Mitchell and Carl Reyes"

"Lets look them up" Said Munch as he typed their names into his computer

"No record for Mitchell but oh we have one for Carl"

"What?" Ilsa asked

"Looks like he was arrested for assault"

"Let's go pay him a visit"

***

Ilsa and Fin pulled up outside a house, it wasn't the best house but it looked cosy

A woman walked out the front, and older woman maybe in her late 40's to early 50's

"Can I help you?" she asked, not impolitely

"Can we find a Carl Reyes here?" Ilsa asked, putting her hand over her eyes to block the glare from the sun

"Why do you want to talk to him? Who are you?" the woman asked

"Detectives ma'am we just need to ask him some questions"

"He didn't do it" she said "Now go away"

"Mum!" they heard a deep voice call "Let them in"

Ilsa and Fin walked to the front door slowly, a man walked out, he was tall or at least to Ilsa he was, scruffy beared and short dark hair

"I'm Carl, what can I do for you?"

The woman soon ushered them inside, telling them her name was Natalie

"We need to ask where you were early yesterday morning"

"Getting ready for work" he said rubbing his head "I'm a construction worker"

Ilsa and Fin looked at each other making the same connection, he was in construction Emily was his with a metal pipe, wasn't looking good.

"Can anyone verify that?"

"I don't know" he said

"What do you mean you don't know?" asked Fin

"I thought everyone was asleep, I didn't want to wake them"

Ilsa placed a hand on Fins shoulder, and giving him a look that said clam down

"Do you know an Emily Taucher?"

Carl looked at his mother then back at the detectives

"Why do you want to know?" he asked

"She was attacked yesterday"

Carl's face dropped "Where is she?" he asked quickly "I need to see her"

"So you do know her"

"Of course I do" Carl said looking scared

"Carl…did you hurt her?" Ilsa asked

"Are you kidding me?" he snapped "I'd never hurt her in my life!"

"We've got people who say you were harassing her" Fin said

"Harassing?" he asked "I never did, I talked to her but that's about it"

"We got told Joel and you had a disagreement" Ilsa added

"If by that you mean he jumped me then yes, he and his friend beat me and my brother up for no reason" Carl said looking angry

"You're a big guy, why not fight back" Asked Fin

"Last time I did that I got done for assault, and even if I wanted to I wouldn't hurt Emily's brother"

"Look hun I gotta tell you it's not looking good for you"

Carl's jaw dropped "What do I have to do? Take one of those lying tests? Give DNA?"

"Would you?" asked Ilsa

"Yes, I never hurt Emily, I love her" he said

"Love?" Asked Fin

"Not like that, we went to church with them, Emily and I talked and we became friends, I love her as a friend, nothing more"

"So you never wanted to ask her out"

Carl shook his head

"She is a nice girl, maybe you asked and she said no but you didn't like it"

"I'd never hurt her, my brother and I are friends with her that's all she like a sister to us"

Natalie walked in to the room they had been sitting in; she bought a tray of tea

"Tea?" she offered

Fin declined Ilsa nodded

She went to make the tea when Ilsa stopped her

"Allow Me ma'am" she said pouring herself and Natalie a cup

"Well thank you dear" the older woman said "So nice to see some people still have manners"

Ilsa sipped the tea, it was different, she had never been a big tea drinker but it was soothing.

"So-"

"Call me Natalie" She said

"Natalie" Ilsa continued "What can you tell us about Emily"

"Oh she is such a sweet girl, I can't think of anyone who would hurt her, my kids adore her" she said patting Carl's leg

"But they didn't do it, Carl was here with me I heard him get up in the morning so did his father"

"Ok" Ilsa said

"Where can we find your other son ma'am?" Asked Ilsa

"He said he'd be home later today"

Just then there was a squeak as the front door was opened "I'm home mom!" they heard someone call, the man walked into the room and looked confused "Who are you?" he asked

"Manners Mitchell" Said his mother "there detectives, Emily was hurt"

His face went white "God no!" he said "Who did it? Can we see her?"

"We don't know who did it" Said Ilsa "Maybe you can help us?"

"Carl how old are you?" Asked Ilsa

"25" he said "Mitch is 22, why?"

"Just wandering, getting all the facts" she said with a smile

"We didn't do it" Mitch said from where he stood in the room "She was always nice to us"

"Where were you yesterday morning?" Asked Fin

"With my girlfriend" Mitch said blushing

Ilsa smiled "Can we have her name"

"Why?" he asked defensively

"Just to clarify that you were with her"

"OK, Jennie Diaz"

"Thank you" Said Ilsa as she wrote the name down

"May I ask where your husband is?" Ilsa asked taking another drink of the tea set out in front of her

"Oh he's at work" Natalie said "Wont be home for a while"

"What does he do?" Asked Fin

"He collects trash" Said Carl

Ilsa nodded "When you can get him to call us, or come down to the precinct and see us in person"

Natalie smiled "Ok I'll tell him"

They got up and the two detectives were about to leave

"Do you have any other children?" asked Fin

"My daughter, but she's at school" said Natalie

Ilsa and Fin left, getting know where closer to solving the case, but finding out some interesting things, they would have to take a deeper look at the Reyes brothers but Ilsa felt they were telling the truth ,the seemed hurt at the fact that Emily was hurt.

***It was getting late in the after noon Ilsa looked at her watch and realised she had missed lunch, again being to lazy to go and get something good she grabbed some change from her desk and decided to see what she could get from one of the machines scattered around the station.

Olivia watched as Ilsa strolled off, she looked back down at her paper work and got back to it, feeling like someone was watching her she looked around and saw a young boy, maybe 10 or 12

"Hi can I help you?" the boy didn't say anything

"What's your name?" Olivia asked

Still nothing, he just stood there, no emotion on his face

"Hey what are you doing!" she heard the familiar Australian voice call

Olivia looked at her with a look of horror on her face that she could just yelled something like at this boy who had walked off…Olivia looked for him and saw him run up to Ilsa

"What are you doing here hmm?" She asked ruffling his hair

"I wanted to make sure your coming tonight" his accent was strange, slightly Australian

"Tonight?" Ilsa asked then it struck her "Oh right your play!" she said pulling him closer for a hug she kissed the top of his head "Of course I am, good thing you reminded me"

"You sure you're coming?" he asked again

Ilsa got down on her knees and crossed her heart with her finger "I promise I'll be there"

He wrapped his arms around her again and smiled

"Ok, now tell your dad I said hi"

The boy nodded his head and turned to run out of the building

"Hey!" Ilsa called after him looking rather upset

He ran back and kissed her on the cheek

"Love you!" she called again

"Love you to mum!"

Olivia did a double take, did he just call Ilsa mom?

"Ilsa who was that?" Asked Olvia

"Who was who?" Asked Elliot strolling in after a day of talking to victims and suspects

"That boy who just left"

"Oh that was-"

"He's gotten big" Said Cragen "Was that him?" he asked pointing in the direction the boy had run

"Yeah, can't believe it, he'll be back again if you want to say hi, I think he wants to see you again"

Cragen nodded and walked into his office, shutting the door behind him

"Who was it?" Asked Olivia again, more forcefully

"That was Josh"

Olivia raised an eyebrow signalling Ilsa was meant to tell her more

"My son" Ilsa said calmly

"Your Son!" Olivia snapped "We've known each other how long and you never told me

"You never asked" Ilsa said "Besides I thought you knew"

Olivia's eyes were wide "Uh no, how could you not tell me this"

Ilsa looked sad and her face was also apologetic "I'm sorry I didn't because you'd start asking questions about his father and I don't want to answer them"

"Wait….you have a kid?" asked Elliot "how old is he?"

Ilsa started into space thinking "11" she said

"11?" he asked almost as shocked as Olivia "how old are you?"

"28"

Elliot and Olivia both shut up

"Yes I was 16 when I had him so by logic I was 15 when I got pregnant leave it at that" said Ilsa defensively

Though they didn't say anything they both wanted to

"Call me what you want" Ilsa sighed "Lets get it over with"

"What do you mean?" asked Elliot

"Call me a slut, whore I've heard it all before"

"We wouldn't call you that" Olivia said, though yes her mind was mulling over the fact Ilsa had gotten pregnant at 15"It's just I've got kids around that age"

"I know I've met them remember?" Ilsa said with a sad smile "Don't tell the others yet please, I will tell them just not yet"

Olivia and Elliot nodded "We wont tell" they said together

"But" Olivia said "Can I meet him sometime? I mean you've never told me you had him I think I should get to meet the child of my friend"

Ilsa smiled "Come by after his play tonight and I'll introduce you officially"

**Next chapter soon please Read and Review :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N I am so sorry this took so long i haven't been able to upload anything for a few days so again i am so so sorry, i am working on the next chapter now although it may take a little while before it is up, I'll be busy the nest few days (Wont bore anyone wiht the details) but thank you to those still reading i am going to continue wiht this story i just have to find the time Please bear wiht me  
**

**Please Read and Riview :)**

It was a little after 9 when Olivia arrived at Ilsa's apartment, she wasn't nervous exactly but was feeling awkward about meeting Josh, she had known Ilsa for years and somehow Ilsa had managed to keep this a secret, it puzzled her how she managed to do it, a child isn't something you can hide easily.

Olivia knocked on the door and heard footsteps on the other side the door opened slowly when it was pulled back Olivia saw Josh standing there, his face blank

"Hi" Said Olivia

Josh remained silent just holding onto the door handle

"Who is it?" She heard Ilsa call from somewhere inside

Josh was still quiet

"It's Olivia"

"Let her in honey!" Ilsa called back

Josh stepped aside and let Olivia walk past, he shut the door and went to sit on the couch

Ilsa walked out from her room

"Hey Olivia" she said as she headed for the bathroom "Want a drink?"

"Sure" Said Olivia watching Josh as he picked up a control pad and went back to playing a video game.

Ilsa smiled "What do you want?"

"Oh right um coffee" said Olivia walking into the kitchen "Is he ok?"

"Yeah he's fine why?" She said getting the coffee ready

"He hasn't said a word to me"

Ilsa laughed softly "Want to see something?"

"Ok" Olivia said slightly confused

Ilsa walked out of the kitchen and sat next to Josh, he paused his game when Ilsa leant closer and whispered something in his ear, he looked up at her and she smiled down at him and nodded her head.

Josh got off of the couch and walked up to Olivia

"Nice to meet you Detective Benson" he said holding out his hand

Olivia smiled _'how did she get him to do that?' _

"Nice to meet you too Josh, but you can call me Olivia"

Josh smiled and Olivia couldn't help but notice how much like his mother he looked.

Ilsa got off the couch and stood next to Olivia

"What did you tell him Ilsa?"

Ilsa chuckled "I told him that you were my friend and that he could trust you"

The two detectives walked back to the kitchen, peering out to check on Josh every now and then

"I taught him not to talk to strangers so he doesn't" Ilsa said grabbing two cups from the cupboards

"So that's why he didn't say anything to me?" Olivia asked

Ilsa nodded "But he'll talk to you know, if I can trust you so can he" she said with a smile "Is he?" Olivia asked leaving the rest of the question hanging

"Slow?" Ilsa offered "I don't think so he might just be a late bloomer, he's a great kid"

Ilsa handed Olivia the coffee and smiled "Still mad I didn't tell you?"

Olivia sighed "Yes, but I should have known you were still hiding something, you always hid things"

They stood silent for a while, Ilsa leaning against the kitchen counter, Olivia standing in the middle of it

"So tell me about his father" Olivia said

Ilsa sighed "I thought you wouldn't ask me about that"

"You tell me know that you have a son" Olivia said calmly "It's only natural I would ask"

"Sam is his father"

"Sam?" Olivia asked

"You know tall blond" Ilsa started to describe her friend

"Your best friend?"

"Don't sound so upset Olivia, you're one of my best friends too, Sam takes Josh when I cant, which sadly is a lot of the time" Ilsa said looking at Josh from the kitchen

"He's a good kid" Olivia said putting her hand on Ilsa's shoulder

Ilsa smiled "Thanks hun"

"Hi mum" Josh said as he walked into the kitchen "I'm going to go to bed" he said with a big yawn

Ilsa hugged him and kissed him on the forehead "Alright sweetie"

Josh looked at Olivia and smiled "Good night Miss Benson" he said as he walked up and hugged her, before walking off down the hall to his room.

"He's got to be your son" Olivia said "He's so much like you""I know" Ilsa agreed as she walked into the living room with Olivia, taking a seat with her on the couch"You were really only 16 when you had him?"Ilsa nodded "Yeah, it hurt but everything I went through was well worth it because I've got him"

Olivia smiled "he must be one hell of a kid"Ilsa chuckled as she took a sip from her cup

"Is there anything else your hiding from me?" Olivia asked looking over the top of her cup

Ilsa smiled and nodded her head "yes"

Olivia sighed "You've had it hard, haven't you?""Yeah, you should know Liv, you never had it easy either"

They sat quietly for a while in a comfortable silence Ilsa was curled up with her heard resting on her knees.

"So…" Olivia said "What's going on between you and Casey?"

Ilsa smiled "We're totally sleeping together"

Olivia had a shocked look on her face and her mouth was hanging open

"Nothing is going on between us, why do you ask"

"She's been asking about you, even asked me if you were gay"

Ilsa laughed "What did you tell her?"

"To ask you"

Ilsa was still laughing, Olivia found it hard not to laugh when Ilsa was, it was a contagious laughter.

"So do you like her?"

"If I didn't like her Liv I wouldn't talk to her, of course I like her"

"You know what I mean" Olivia said in a serious tone

Ilsa shrugged "I don't know, but even if I did isn't it against the rules?"

Olivia leaned close to Ilsa "I wont tell" she whispered

Ilsa picked up a throw pillow and proceeded to hit Olivia with it

"Watch it coffee!" Olivia protested

Ilsa leaned over Olivia and pulled the cup out of her hands and placed it on the table in front of the couch, with a sly smile Ilsa smacked her again with the pillow.

"Ok, ok stop" Olivia said between laughs "I wont tease you about Casey"

"Yes you will don't try to deny it"

Ilsa got up off the couch and took out her empty cup, looking at the clock she noticed how lat it was, she looked back to see Olivia dozing on the couch _'poor thing'_

"It's late Olivia" Ilsa said as she walked back in

"Yeah" Olivia said with a yawn "I'll go now"

"You can stay if you want to" Ilsa offered

Olivia had leant her head back on the couch and was dozing, it had been and hard day and she really wanted to sleep

"You can go home in the morning, I don't want you driving if you're tired" Ilsa said

"Nothing will happen I'll be fine" Though Olivia made no attempt to move from the couch

"Just spend the night, it wouldn't be the first time" Ilsa said with a smile "You know I wont do anything we've been friends how long, and you've slept at my place how many times? What so weird about adults having a sleep over" she teased

"Ok" Olivia groaned "I'll stay"

Ilsa walked over and pulled Olivia to her feet "You can sleep in my bed"

Olivia didn't say anything, but let Ilsa lead her to the bed, kicking her shoes off along the way Olivia flopped onto the bed, got under the cover with some difficulty.

She was to tired to think about how awkward it might be sleeping at Ilsa's place, or what people would ask if they knew, though it was true it wasn't the first time, she'd spent the night before, nothing ever happened, they'd talk it would get late and Ilsa didn't like people driving if they were to tired she'd make Olivia stay. Olivia didn't mind, if she stayed Ilsa might even make her lay on one side of the bed dozing, listening to the noises through the house, she heard a door creak open and Ilsa whisper something, most likely to her son, he seemed like a nice kid, a lot like his mother, Olivia couldn't help but wander what else Ilsa was hiding, she wanted to know, knew Ilsa didn't have a good childhood, some times she just wanted the woman to open up and say what was bothering her, not bottle it up like she did.

A light switched off in the bathroom and Olivia felt a weight on the other side of the bed

"Not sleeping on the couch?" Olivia asked, it didn't bother her that Ilsa was climbing into bed, after all Ilsa had changed in front of her before this was by far the least awkward thing Ilsa had done

"Don't worry honey" Ilsa said, her voice sounded tired "I wont do anything"

Olivia smiled and settled in for the night

"At least not while your awake" though Olivia couldn't see, she knew Ilsa had her cheeky smile on

"And what do you think I'm going to do with you?" Olivia asked trying not to laugh

"Nothing you'll be asleep"

Olivia laughed

"Oh don't forget that I'm a-"

"I know" Olivia said

It was nice to see Ilsa relaxed, or at least relaxed as Ilsa got. Olivia had long ago gotten over Ilsa's sense of humour, though yes she was a funny person, a lot of her jokes were crude and sexual Olivia still couldn't help but laugh, she knew Ilsa was just playing, it seemed at times that Ilsa didn't give a damn what other people thought that she didn't have any shame. Olivia knew that Ilsa wouldn't do anything that made her feel uncomfortable she also knew it was hard for Ilsa to get this comfortable with people, she didn't let everyone in so Olivia felt happy that Ilsa had let her in so far, one day Ilsa might tell her those secrets that bother her so much.

Olivia hoped that this night would be different, once when she had stayed Ilsa woke up screaming and covered in sweat, she said she had a nightmare but it must have been one hell of a nightmare to have that effect, Olivia had woken up and tried to comfort her, it had taken some time but eventually Ilsa had calmed down and laid back down, though Olivia doubted she had gone to sleep again after soft breathing let Olivia know Ilsa was asleep, Olivia felt something warm against her side and felt an arm drape across her, she turned her head to see Ilsa snuggled into her side, Olivia smiled, Ilsa had told her that she was a snuggler, Olivia didn't mind it was…interesting to have her friend curl up into her side, but Olivia still managed to fall asleep.

***

It was early morning Olivia woke up to find that Ilsa wasn't in bed, she stretched and sat up, smelling the air _'mmm breakfast' _she thoughtShe walked out to the kitchen to see Ilsa hard at work cooking"Morning" Said Ilsa with a smile "Hungry?"

Olivia nodded "When you make something like this it's hard not to be"

Ilsa pulled out three plates and loaded them up with scrambled eggs, bacon and sausages

"How many people are you planning on feeding?" Olivia asked seeing how much food their was

"What do you mean?" Ilsa asked seriously "This is all mine you can get your own"

Olivia laughed and saw a young boy walked in

"Morning mum" he said wiping the sleep from his eyes "Did Miss Benson spend the night?"

"Yeah, that ok?" Ilsa asked, Josh nodded his head and sat at the table

"You're asking if it was ok that you had a friend over?" Olivia asked"I wont do anything if Josh isn't happy, I want him to be comfortable, but he likes you so he doesn't really care" "You really love him" Olivia more stated then asked"Nothing in this world could make me love his less"

Olivia could tell by the look on her face that Ilsa was serious

Ilsa set the table and brought the plates out, along with some juice and coffee

Olivia took a mouth full of food and smiled "This is great Ilsa" she said taking another bite

"Yes contrary to popular belief I can cook"

"It's official, I'm coming to live here now" Olivia said

"So you can eat all my food gee thanks"

"I don't mind if she does" Said Josh from his seat "I like her"

"I was only kidding little man" Olivia said rustling his hair "But I might come around again to eat your moms food"

"It's the best food ever" he said with a bright smile

Ilsa smiled too, loving that her son was so comfortable with her friend made her feel better about telling everyone, if this was how they reacted it would be good.

"Ok hurry up or you'll be late" Said Ilsa raising an eyebrow at Josh

"Ok" he said shoving a fork full of eggs and a piece of bacon into his mouth

"Josh!" Ilsa said with an un-amused look on her face "I didn't say eat the whole plate in one bite you'll choke"

Josh smiled then swallowed the food and ran off before his mum could do anything else, Ilsa just shook her head and sighed"Need a ride to your place?" Ilsa asked as she cleared the table"No I'm alright my cars outside, thanks for letting me spend the night"

"Your welcome anytime Liv, I wasn't about to let you drive when you're falling asleep"

"That's just the cover, you wanted me in your bed"

"True" Ilsa said with a smile "It has been my goal for a long time"

Olivia got up and walked to Ilsa "I'm going to head off, see you at work"

Ilsa turned and gave Olivia a hug "See ya" she said

Olivia left and headed to her place to get ready for work, she was happy that Ilsa hadn't had another nightmare, maybe she was getting over what ever had caused them.

Ilsa went about getting herself and Josh ready to leave, she had to get him to school and then get herself to work. Ilsa was happy too that a nightmare hadn't woken her, she had slept well, happy that she hadn't made Olivia feel to awkward she left for work with a smile on her face.

***

"Good morrow to thee" Ilsa chimed as she walked into the precinct"What?" Asked Fin looking confused

"She said good morning" Said Munch

Ilsa had just thrown her coat over the back of her chair when Captian Cragen walked in

"how far are we on this new case?" he asked

"Not far, talked to a few people but nothing solid" Ilsa said

Cragen gave her a look that told her to get on with it"I think we need to go and talk to Emily again" Ilsa said to Fin "Care to tag along?""Sure" he said and the two detectives were out the door and on their way to see Emily, hopefully she'd shed some light on the events.

***

Emily was still in the hospital, though she desperately wanted to get out, she was looking out the window of her room when, watching the sun as it moved across the sky, she heard the door open and turned to see who it was, a sigh escaped when she saw Ilsa walk in.

"Hey" Ilsa said softly

Emily didn't say anything; she walked back to her bed and sat down

"I can't tell you anymore I don't remember"

Ilsa walked up and stood next to her a soft smile on her lips "I know, I'm here to ask you about Carl and Mitchell Reyes"

Emily stopped moving and turned her head slowly and looked at Ilsa

"Yes…" she said slowly

Ilsa raised her eyebrows, wanting Emily to continue

"It wasn't them" Emily said quickly

"I thought you couldn't remember?"

Emily took a deep breath and closed her eyes "I can't…but I know they wouldn't"

"Carl said he loved you" Ilsa said, Emily's eyes snapped open

"He does, but were friends, he's like a brother to me I don't love him" Emily paused trying to think of a word

"Romantically?" Ilsa offered

"Yeah" Emily said "And Mitchell is just a friend too, I know they would never hurt me"

Ilsa nodded "Anything else you can tell me?" she asked

Emily shook her head

"You ok?" asked Ilsa

Emily just looked at her, clearly unimpressed

"Sorry stupid question" Ilsa said "Maybe how are you doing"

Emily held up her broken wrist "hurts" she said simply

"I know what that's like, broken bones are a bitch" Ilsa said, Emily chuckled a little

"I don't know what else I can tell you" Emily said

"Maybe.." Ilsa said "You can tell us what you were doing walking around so early"

Emily didn't say anything, just shuffled in the bed until she was comfortable

"I'm tired" she said

Ilsa placed her hand softly on her shoulder "Rest honey, if you think of anything else you have my number"

Ilsa walked out of the room and saw Fin sitting in one of the chairs

"Nothing" Ilsa sighed "But I think she might be hiding something"

"Like what? Why would she protect the person who did this to her"Ilsa shrugged her shoulder "Lets go and do some digging" Ilsa said as they left.

***

They pulled up outside a church, it was big with stained windows, stairs led up to the doors

"What are we doing here?" asked Fin

"Getting in touch with out spiritual side" Ilsa said as she got out and ascended the stairs to the church.

The doors let out a groan as they were pushed open, the people inside stopped to see who was walking in, Ilsa poked her head in and gave a sheepish smile "Sorry" she said

Fin followed after her

They walked slowly through the room, their shoes echoing in the large building

Ilsa noticed Carrisa standing with some other women

"Hello detective" she said as Ilsa and Fin walked closer "Have you found anything?" she asked

Ilsa shook her head "Still looking but I do remember you said I could come by the church sometime, I hope this isn't an inconvenience"

"Of course not detective can I help you?"

"We just need to talk to the people here, find out anything we can"

Carrisa looked over Ilsa's shoulder and saw Fin

"Oh where are my manners this is Detective Tutuola he'll be working this case with me"

"Pleasure" Carrisa said

"Ok lets see what we can fine out, I've talked to a few of these people making sure Carrisa was where she said" Ilsa said as she looked around the room "Lets see what else they can tell us"

Fin and Ilsa each talked to the men and women in the church

Ilsa walked up to a group of young girls "Hi" she said with a friendly smile

"You're that detective" One of them said "Right"

Ilsa nodded "Right an either of you tell me about Emily, or maybe Carl and Mitchell Reyes"

"Yeah, I'm Amanda, a friend of Emily's but not those other two" she sounded disgusted at the very mention of the two boys

Ilsa nodded "Ok Amanda why aren't you friends with Carl or Mitchell I heard they come here"

"Used to come here" one of the other girls said "They not allowed to anymore"

"Why not?" Asked Ilsa

"Because of their sister"

Ilsa's eyebrows raised "Why? What did she do?"

"She's a slut and a sinner, how they can even stand to be related to her I don't know" she said

"What else can you tell me?"

The girls looked at each other "Sorry we have to go" Amanda said and the group walked off

Ilsa rolled her eyes "I hate when people don't tell me everything" she mumbled

"Bad day?"

Ilsa jumped and clutched at her chest "Asael" she said catching her breath "You scared me"

He laughed softly "Sorry Ilsa"

"It's ok" she said "What's up?"

"I heard you came in trying to find out more about Emily and those Reyes boys" he said

"Yeah but so far I haven't gotten much, perhaps you can shed some light for me"

Asael smiled "I've told you everything about Emily I know and what I was doing that night, and about those boys"

"I heard something about their sister, what about her"

"She's a sinner"

Ilsa sighed quietly "yeah I've been told, among other things anything else?"

Asael looked across the room and saw some people wave to him, calling him over

"I'm needed somewhere else but perhaps we can talk again" he said quickly and left walking quickly across the room

Ilsa shook her head again "Yeah sure that's fine I'm just trying to investigate" she said to herself "but go I'll figure out, no I don't need your help I'm fine"

Ilsa was making hand gestures while she talked to herself, looking like an idiot

"You know talking to yourself is a sign that you're going insane"

Ilsa jumped again "Fin!" she said loudly "don't sneak up on me" she gave him a soft slap to the arm while he just laughed

"What did you fine out?" Ilsa asked

"Not a lot" he said opening the doors for Ilsa

"Oh that's good, me neither"

Ilsa leaned against the car and looked at the church "All I got was that the Reyes Daughter was or is a sinner"

"Same here no one would clarify, but I did hear something about her not wanting to repent"

"Lets go back to the station, we'll go see the 'sinner' later first lets see what else we can fine out about Emily and her family there is something these people are not telling us and it's annoying"

"I know what that's like" Fin said as he got into the car and waited for Ilsa

Ilsa just sighed and got in, not saying a word on the drive back to the precinct, it was going to be a long day…


	7. Chapter 7

**"Forgiveness please!" i am so sorry my SVU muse had left me for quite some time and i hade vowed not to watch any new SVU until i see my brother (he and i spent whole week watching Svu and eating ice cream last time i saw him) and i wanted watch them wiht him, he and i are massive fans, anyway i was sick recently and i was channel surfing when what should come on,so i watched some of the first season and "BOOM!" it's all coming back. so hopefully my next update wont be to long away and i apologise again for making you wait, this is just a chapter to tie you over while i try and remember all the bits and pieces to my story.**

Please R&R

Ilsa and Fin walked into the precinct, the other detectives looked up from their desks

"So what did you find out?" Asked Olivia

"That the Reyes daughter is a slut" Ilsa said and she flopped into her chair, letting out a loud sigh

Olivia didn't say anything

"Apparently no one would say what she had done just that she is a sinner"

"Well that narrows it down" Olivia said "Any clues"

"No" Ilsa said leaning forward and spinning in her chair to face Olivia "But I think that everyone is hiding something, including Emily"

"Like what?" Asked Olivia not quite believing what Ilsa was saying

Ilsa shrugged "I don't know but something"

"You said she's a sinner what did she do?" Asked Munch

"Like we can figure that out quickly so many things are considered sins a better questions would be what didn't she do"

"So Emily was beaten and raped because another girl committed a sin?" Asked Elliot "That's stupid"

Ilsa sighed "I never said that I'm just saying maybe they connect" she said linking her finger

"What sin I ask again?" Munch said

Ilsa pursed her lips "Let's see we could go with the main one's Wrath Avarice Sloth Pride Lust Envy and Gluttony though I doubt it will help"

"Why are we talking about the seven deadly sins?" Elliot asked

"Because we've changed topic to what the 'sin' may have been"

"You say it like you don't think she did" Elliot said putting the pen he had been holding on the desk

"I'm not saying she didn't but it depends what she's done to whether I'll think it's a sin or not"

"You don't believe in sins?" Asked Elliot

"Not I just don't believe in some of them, there is a difference" Ilsa said "I dare you to find someone here who hasn't committed some sin"

"You're serious?" he asked

Ilsa nodded her head, a very serious look on her face "You can't say yourself" she said Elliot did not look happy

"Why not?" he asked

"Wraith" she said "rage anger, you do have a bit of a temper Elliot you're out"

Elliot stopped what he was doing and glared at Ilsa

"I'm just saying it like it is honey"

"Ok"

"I won't even tell you what Olivia's done" Ilsa said with a cheeky smile

"I won't go into detail but yeah I have" Said Fin

"And what about me?" Asked Munch

"Honey you've been divorced how many times?"

Munch nodded

"So what about you?" Asked Elliot "Or are you innocent"

Ilsa laughed "Oh I'd say I've done at least every 'deadly' sin once"

"Wrath?" Asked Elliot

"We all get angry sometimes it's inevitable given our job"

Elliot nodded  
"Envy?" Asked Fin

"Yes I have wanted for what another person has before"

"Sloth?" Asked Olivia from her desk

Ilsa stretched "haven't you ever just wanted to stay in bed and do nothing?" she asked with a smile

"Gluttony" Fin stated

Ilsa nodded "I have over indulged once or twice"

'Pride?" Asked Munch

"We all feel that sometimes"

"Greed?" Elliot asked

Ilsa nodded, though she did not have a happy look on her face "Sadly yes I've done that one too"

"Lust?" Munch asked with a silly smile

Ilsa smiled "Oh Honey I'm still doing that one, it always was my favourite"

Everyone started to laugh

"OK back to work" Elliot said and gave Ilsa smile "What are we meant to be looking at"

"The Taucher Family, they haven't been to forth coming with information"

"There daughter was attacked and raped" Olivia said

"Shouldn't that make them more inclined to help us catch the person responsible"

Ilsa started typing on her keyboard, scrolling the pages in front of her for anything, but nothing useful had come up yet

"Nothing" Ilsa said "Just some stories about Jonathan but nothing more"

"I thought I recognised the name" Ilsa heard Olivia say

Ilsa spun around and gave Olivia a confused look

"You don't know who she is?"

"Should I?" Asked Ilsa cautiously

"Carrisa if a very well known and very rich woman, a socialite"

"So…." Ilsa said feeling very much a fool for not knowing

"She spends a lot of time raising money for charities, her father was a very wealthy man , left her most of his money when he died"

Ilsa didn't say anything but just started blankly at Olivia

"You've really never heard of her"

Ilsa shook her head "Nope I don't know a lot about the social elite"

"Could that have been reason for the attack?" Elliot asked "She had money and someone wanted it"

"Then why attack Emily?" Ilsa asked "Should we check their financial records?"

"Unless they give us permission we'll need Casey to get us a warrant and I don't think we have enough evidence to prove anything right now"

Ilsa sighed "Fair enough, let's try and find the so dubbed 'sinner' I'll call Natalie and asked where she is"

Ilsa turned and picked up the phone, dialling the number she had been given she went about talking to Natalie.

"Some case" Olivia said

"Yeah, think she can figure it out?" Elliot asked looking over at Ilsa

"She's a smart girl she'll figure something out"

"Her ideas are sometimes outrages" Elliot said looking at Olivia

"Her hearts in the right place and besides she's done good since she joined"

"Yeah and since she's joined she's kept her whole life a secret from us, how can we work with her if we can't trust her"

"Elliot" Olivia sighed "We can trust her if you don't believe her when she says it believe me it might not seem it but we can"

"It's been a year and we've only just found out she had a son, even longer for you" he said in a harsh whisper

"I know I'm not happy she hid that but she has her reasons"

"There is no reason to hide things like that"

"Don't tell her that" Olivia whispered back, looking around to make sure no one was watching or listening in "She'll come up with some reason but the point is she told us know"

"You know what I think?"

Olivia shook her head

"I think she was abused, that's why she's so..."

"Odd" Olivia said, hoping he wasn't going to say anything to harsh about her

"Yeah" he said "Something like that but if she hid that what else is she hiding"

Olivia sighed "I don't know but if we push her she might I don't know shut everyone out"

"And she hasn't done that already?" he asked giving her a very serious look

"Even worse I don't know what she's been through but it can't be anything good"

"She's not at home; Mum doesn't know where she is but will call when she comes back" Ilsa sighed as she hung the phone up and rubbed her eyes, she let out a low groan as she leant back in her chair

"Maybe we should ask Emily about her friend, she has to know something"

"You want to go back and ask her?" Asked Fin

"It can wait till tomorrow I don't think she'll talk to us again right now"

Everyone was quiet thinking of something to do about the case, it was a hard one and so far they hadn't gotten a lot of evidence or suspects.

Ilsa got up and walked to make a cup of coffee, she was adding some sugar when she saw Melinda walked into the room

"Hey" Said Ilsa before taking a drink

"Can I talk to you?" Asked Melinda before waiting for her to answer the doctor pulled Ilsa out of the squad room and into the hallway

"What the hell happened" Melinda asked as soon as they had stopped

"You dragged me out" Ilsa said

"I looked through you're file"

"Oh…" Ilsa said softly

"You were in the hospital when you found out you were pregnant"

"Yeah" Ilsa said trying to avoid the Doctors gaze, sipping from her cup

"These injuries are not normal what happened?"

Ilsa remained silent

"You had broken bones, internal bleeding and a dislocated hip now what happened, after this you found out that you were pregnant so it begs the questions were you-"

"Stop please" Said Ilsa softly "This is why I didn't want people to know about my son because they ask how I got pregnant then they find out about this and I don't like to talk about it"

"So you were" Melinda let the question hand

Ilsa didn't move "I don't talk about it, no one listened to me when it happened so I just don't say anything but I love my son that s the important part"

Melinda rubbed her hand up Ilsa's arm "I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you"

"You're the only person who knows besides Cragen please don't tell them"

"You don't think they'll accept you if they knew?" The doctor asked

"I don't know but I did a lot of bad stuff and I don't want people hating me for these things and I don't like to be consistently reminded about it" she sighed

"Aren't you reminded when you see your son?"

Ilsa jaw went stiff and she had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself the anger on her face was clear as day "When I look at Josh I see myself, my mother hell I see Sam more then…"

"Who? Who hurt you?"

"It doesn't matter now it's to late to do anything and I can't change what happened even if I wanted too, let's just leave it at that"

"What happened to you to make you like this?" Melinda asked in a kind voice "that you don't want to let people in and you'd rather bottle up everything rather then get help you'd rather live your life alone then let people get to know you"

Ilsa's lower lip started to quiver "I was a victim and I got tired of wanting people to listen so after a while I stopped trying, it's always been someone who said they cared that hurt me…"

Melinda's heart sank at hearing this that this young woman gave up on finding any kind of help and was left to wallow in the feelings that were left behind

"What about know you could get some help"

Ilsa smiled, a sad smile and shrugged "It's to late know and I'm to tired to talk about it"

Ilsa walked slowly back into the squad room and sat at her desk, setting her coffee aside she didn't feel like drinking it anymore.

"Hey Melinda" Called Munch as he saw her turn to leave

"Hello Munch" she said with a smile, quickly looking over at Ilsa bent over her desk, they way she sat with her head hung low showed she was deep in thought

"What are you doing here?" he Asked walking closer a friendly smile on his face

"I came by to talk to Ilsa that's all" She said started to walk off "I'd love to stay and chat but I have to get back to work" she called back to him.

Munch shrugged in and walked over to Ilsa

"What did Warner want to talk to you about?" he asked

Ilsa turned her head slowly and shrugged "Oh uh nothing"

"You ok?" he asked looking at her, seeing the sad look on her face

She put on a smile "yeah hun I'm fine now let's get back to work and catch our bad guy"

***

Ilsa sighed and leant back in her chair running her fingers through her hair she let out a sigh, she looked down at the papers on her desk and just sat staring at them she had been looking at them all day trying to figure out the case she had come up with several theories but they wouldn't do any good without evidence to back them up, so far they had the scene, what little they could get there, a reluctant victim and people who would be able to help hiding everything, One person that looked good for it was Carl but Ilsa just didn't think he did it, she just didn't feel it her gut was telling her that it was someone else, now it was about figuring who it was and why they would do such a horrible thing.

After another five minutes of staring Ilsa decided to give her eyes a rest and stretch her legs, a walk to get a drink should do both nicely she thought, pulling out her chair she slowly made her way across to the room and grabbed a cup filling it with some water she drank it quickly, re filling it she head to her desk and sat down again, the papers in front of her still taunting her.

"Ilsa"

Ilsa started at the paper still trying to see something she may have missed, or most likely she had missed

"Ilsa?"

Ilsa ran her hand over her eyes and let out a low growl

"Ilsa" the voice said louder this time

Ilsa snapped to attention and looked up to see Don standing next to her desk

"You ok?"

Ilsa nodded and smiled "Just trying to figure out the case"

Don smiled and looked at the time on her computer it was almost six"Get out of here I doubt anything is going to change tonight" he said with a smile "Get out of here"

Ilsa smiled and looked back at the work laid out in front of her she opened her mouth but was cut of quickly

"No buts get out of here and I'll see you tomorrow" Don said as he started to walk away

Ilsa went to speak again to protest

"That's an order" he said

Ilsa shook her head but complied not want to disobey an order she collected her jacket and started to pack up the files 'he ordered me to go didn't say anything about taking the work with me' she thought with a sly smile.

"You going home?" Asked Olivia who was packing her own things as well

"Going to go home drop of some stuff change and then I'm going out"

"No Josh tonight?" Olivia asked

Ilsa's head snapped to make sure no one else was in the room she glared at Olivia though it only lasted a few second before her smile came back

"He's at a mates place so I'm going to go and have fun" Ilsa walked out the door "Feel free to join Liv!" she called back

Olivia looked to see if her friends were back in the room, sure enough there was Munch and Fin Elliot must have either gone home or would be back soon

"Hey you guys doing anything tonight?" Olivia asked

"No nothing special why?" asked Fin

"Good you can come out with me"

"Where?" Asked Munch slightly sceptical

"I'm taking you to see a show" she said as she headed off to find Elliot, while she was looking for him she decided to invite Casey to, Casey and Ilsa seemed to be getting along…they still had heated arguments about cases and at times it seemed like it could very well get physical but that was just the nature of their friendship.

***

"So why are we here?" Asked Munch

"I told you I wanted to show you something" Olivia said she and Casey looked at each other and smiled

They were about to walk in when the men were stopped

"ID" Said the bouncer a rather large African man

They did what they were asked though confused about why they had to do it anyway

Olivia and Casey reached out to hand their ID to the bouncers but were waved off

"Don't we have to show them?" Asked Olivia

"You don't forget ladies as beautiful as you just go in" he said with a wink

"I don't get why we had to give them ID" Said Munch

"Oh great I hear a conspiracy theory coming on" Fin groaned as they found a table to sit at

A techno song started to blare out of the speakers

"Please don't tell me 'this' is what were listening or all night" Munch said "music has degraded since my day"

Olivia and Casey laughed "Don't worry Munch something better will come on soon"

He rolled his eyes as he listen to the music play

They ordered there drinks and watched on stage as people began running back and forth

"What's going on?" Asked Elliot

"You'll see" Said Olivia she and Casey both knew what was coming next

And it didn't take long for the music to change and they watched the stage, the men waiting to see whatever was about to happen

She didn't miss her queue coming out on stage and singing long to the music that was playing.

Their jaws dropped

"Is that Ilsa?" Asked Elliot

Olivia nodded "She's different outside of work isn't she"

"I'll say" Said Fin watching as she pranced around the stage

"What's she singing?" Asked Munch

"I think it's called 'Make you happy'" Said Casey

They men couldn't take their eyes off her, it was so strange to see her care free and happy, if she had noticed them she was doing a good job of pretending she didn't Ilsa has scarcely look in their direction.

As the beats of the music slowly faded away the people started to clap and cheer

Ilsa bowed and walked of stage, a smile was plastered across her face.

"Wow…she's not that bad" Fin said

"She's not great" Said Munch "But she's still good"

"Aw such nice compliments"

They turned to see Ilsa standing behind them smiling "So" she said with a fake lisp "What ya doing?"

"We were admiring your dancing and singing" Said Munch taking a drink

"Yeah" Ilsa said "I'm sure it was my 'singing' you were paying attention to" she said with a cheeky smile "Did you enjoy it at least?" she asked

"It's different" Eliot said he hadn't quite decided if he liked it or not "So it's a karaoke bar?" he asked

Ilsa laughed "Not quite, it's not really karaoke people come and drink have fun and if they want to and are aloud to, they can sing it's strange but I like it"

"Really whys that?" asked Munch

"Free drinks" she said taking his beer and drinking some of it

"We get free drinks?" he asked taking his glass back

Ilsa shook her head and started popping slightly to the music playing in the background "Maybe I can pull some strings and get you half price" she said

Stretching Ilsa planted herself in Casey's lap

"Do you mind?" Casey asked

"There aren't any seats left" Ilsa whined

"Get off me your heavy" Casey said shoving Ilsa of her

"Gasp" Ilsa said covering her mouth "Are you calling me fat?" she asked feigning hurt

"What no I was just saying-"Casey stammered

"IS this because I'm bigger then you" Ilsa accused

"Ilsa I'm taller then you" Casey pointed out

"I didn't say height wise sweetie"

"Ilsa your not fat" Said Olivia

Ilsa gave them a shocked looked and pointed to Casey "See what you started" she glared

"What?" Asked Casey getting confused "I never called you fat"

Ilsa chuckled "I was only kidding guys learn to lighten up" she said grabbing a chair from a nearby table and sitting down

"Hey what's up with the ID thing?" Asked Munch "Are we being watched"

"I think a few of us are being checked out but that's about it" she said leaning closer

Munch shook his head

"Don't knock the ID 'thingy' as you call it I came up with it"

"Really?" Asked Olivia

"Yeah it's a scanner you place the ID in the computer stores the details in a secure location and it'll let us know if the ID is out of date or fake"

"Some fake ID's are really good though"

"True the system isn't great we're still working on it, I didn't design the system I just came up with the basic idea" Ilsa said as she grabbed a chair from am empty table near by

"Hey you" Said a man as he walked up behind Ilsa, he was tall, short blond hair

"Oh hey sweetie what's up?" she asked craning her neck to see him

"People are complaining that no one is 'entertaining' them, think you can help out?"  
Ilsa rolled her eyes "oh right guys this is Sam" Ilsa said motioning to the people around the table

"Guys this is my best friend Sam"

The man waved

"You're the guy from the other night" Casey said

"Probably I do own this place"

"If we know Ilsa does that mean we get free drinks?" Joked Olivia

"Well maybe for you honey but that's about it"

"All ways the charmer aren't you Sam" She said with a smile

"It's nice to see you Olivia; I hope your doing well"

"As well as I can do while baby sitting Ilsa"

Ilsa's mouth hung open "At least have the decency to talk about me when I'm NOT sitting here" she pouted.

"So" he said with big eyes "Will you please perform for me"

"No" Ilsa said turning her nose up "Shun"

Sam got closer and placed his head on her shoulder "please" he begged

She sighed "The things I do for you"

"Thank you!" Sam exclaimed as he jumped "We've got some requests" he added handing Ilsa a piece of paper.

Ilsa reluctantly made it to the stage, a loud scoff echoed through the building "Can I assume a man wanted this song" she said as Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl' started playing.

As she finished she sighed "Since when do we do requests!" she yelled at Sam

The crowd started to laugh as Ilsa rolled her eyes.

"Well I like this next artist" she said as the music started to play, she sauntered into the crowd as Vanessa Amorosi's 'Touch me' played

Ilsa was in a playful mood even thought to others it seemed like she was angry, she pulled Casey from her chair and started to dance with her

Casey looked surprised as she was pulled roughly from her seat "No I don't want to!" she protested but it was pointless Ilsa wasn't going to take no for an answer.

As it finished Ilsa left the stage and found Sam at the bar "No more it's getting late" she said

He smiled his charming smile "Ok why don't you head home, but thank you for some reason everyone likes you"

"It's the fact that I rub up against them when i dance" she said with a silly grin on her face

"Don't say that it might be true" he teased

Ilsa waved her way back to her friends seeing them finish off another round of drinks

"Dear god did you leave any drinks for the other people" she said laughing

"Yes" Said Elliot "Just not a lot"

Ilsa shook her head and sat down at the chair she had stolen earlier that night "I'm packing it in guys, it's getting late"

Olivia blinked a few times then looked at her watch "yeah me too"

"There are cabs out the front for you guys" Ilsa said with a smile "It's another service we offer at the club for those who are a little to intoxicated to drive home"

"I'm no drunk" claimed Olivia

"Me either" Said Fin and Elliot

"I believe you Fin why not drive Elliot home, Munch you wanna take Liv?" she asked

Fin shrugged "Yeah sure, later" he said as he got up and left, Elliot close behind him

"Ok off we go" Said Munch as he and Olivia left the room

Ilsa smiled "Alright your turn walk, cab or I'll drive you"

Casey smiled, she had had a lot to drink that night, her mind was a little fuzzy "Think you can drive?"

Ilsa shook her head "I'm sure if I don't you'll be face down on the floor before you reach the exit" she teased, getting up she gently pulled Casey to her feet "Lets go hun" she said.

***

Ilsa slowly drove to Casey's place making the trip with as little bumps as she could, trying not to make Casey sick. They pulled up and the car let out a soft screech at it stopped

"Ok" Ilsa said as she got out and got Casey out of the drivers seat "Lets go" Ilsa said

She didn't have a lot of trouble hauling Casey to her front door.

Casey reached into her bag to find her keys, having difficulty in doing so, finally finding them she opened the door.

"Hope you had fun Casey" Ilsa said with her patented smile

"Yeah" Casey said not looking at Ilsa

"You ok?" Ilsa asked placing her hand on Casey's shoulder "Not feeling too good?"

"No…um…fine I just…" Casey stammered

"What?" Ilsa asked concern on her face.

In a quick move Casey pulled Ilsa inside her apartment, slamming the door shut Ilsa found herself propped up against Casey's front door. Shocked that she had been dragged into the room and thrown up against the door, this kind of things only happened to her in her dreams.

Casey pushed into Ilsa and brought their mouths together, Ilsa was shocked but couldn't move, she had thought about something like this but it was just a crazy dream right?...right? Apparently dreams can come true because Casey started to pull Ilsa's jacket off.

Breaking the kiss for a second Casey hissed "Bedroom know!"  
Ilsa's mind was on auto pilot as she tried to figure out what was happening.  
Ilsa landed with a soft 'oof' as she was pushing onto the mattress, she had barely gotten her arms out of her jacket before Casey was back on her

"Casey we can't" she said quickly

"Why?" Casey asked as she leant over her friend

"Because your drunk" Ilsa said trying to think of every reason she had that they shouldn't let this get any further.

"So" Casey whispered, she smiled and leant closer, her breath hot against Ilsa's neck "It'll be our little secret"

Ilsa froze and just about threw Casey of off her

"What?" a confused Casey Novak asked "What's wrong?"

"I can't" Ilsa said her voice tight and croaky "I'm sorry Casey I have to go" Ilsa practically fell over as she scrambled off the bed. Hitting the floor with a loud thump got up and flew out the door the bang echoed through the quiet apartment

Casey knelt on her bed, her face flushed, and her breathing heavy hurt and confused what had she done wrong? maybe drinking so much to work up the courage wasn't such a good idea but did Ilsa really have to 'throw' her off a simple _'Stop'_ would have don't the trick. Casey got changed and ready for bed dreading the morning to come, she closed her eyes, maybe it was the alcohol but Ilsa's reaction just made her want to cry or maybe it was just the way Ilsa had rejected her that had her so upset.

Ilsa had he back pressed against Casey's door as she caught her breath her face was pale and her breaths coming in ragged gulps, she was shaking, her mind racing_ 'why had Casey done that!'_ she thought a simple 'would you like to go out sometime' would have sufficed Ilsa liked her enough to want to say yes to that!, not jumping her in a alcohol induced frenzy, why did she have to whisper in her ear. Remembering those words sent chills down her down her very soul.  
She sniffed begging, praying that she wouldn't break down here, she could find something at home to get rid of the urge. She ran more then ran, if someone had seen they would have sworn it was a blur of colours. Reaching for her keys Ilsa saw how bad it was, the keys jingled as she tried to open the door, even using both hands didn't help she was to upset, slamming her fist against the car she let out a frustrated groan. Taking a deep breath she managed to control the shaking long enough to open the door and get in.

She drove home and went straight to her secret stash, she would have to deal with it later, but for now a smoke was what she needed to calm down and get to sleep, the rest could wait until the morning…oh boy

**I am sleep deprived and this is what came out as i tried to get something up for those of you reading hope you like. More to come!**

Please R&R thank yooooou :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Long time no post, sorry about that just had a lot of things to deal wiht (personal) anyway you'll be happy to know as you read i am working on the next chapter and I'll try get it up as soon as possible :) until then happy reading and i look forward to reading all of your reviews :)**

Casey and Ilsa hadn't talked about that night, Casey was trying her hardest to avoid Ilsa, Ilsa on the other hand acted like nothing happened she stilled joked around when Casey came by but Casey felt awkward about it.

Casey wasn't sure if she felt happy that Ilsa didn't seem to care about what had happened or sad.  
Ilsa was trying hard to act normal around Casey she didn't know how to approach the situation, the scene replayed in her mind, the whole night, she had been flirting with Casey but she always did that. She had danced with her throughout the night pushing her body closer to Casey's.  
The night had been going well, nothing Ilsa saw would had led her to believe Casey was going to throw her against her door in a frenzy, it was a scene right from one of her fantasies, save for the fact Casey had been slightly intoxicated, she had been guilt stricken since that night, that she had wanted Casey, that she had then practically tossed Casey off the bed and run, for something Casey didn't even know she had done.

_'It'll be our little secret'__  
_

Those words still echoed through Ilsa's mind, though the voice that uttered them was not that of Casey Novak it was a deep voice, menacing and the person it belonged to made her stomach churn. For years she was told that same thing and so she kept it a secret, letting the pain build inside. Maybe if she told Casey why she had run it would help…but what would Casey say or do? If Ilsa told her the truth would she run or still be friends, would Casey look at her differently?

How do you tell someone it wasn't them who did something wrong they just did something to remind you of someone who did it.  
_'Oh hey Casey sorry about that night just what you said reminded me of the horrible nightmare that plagued me growing up'_

Ilsa sighed and ran her hand through her hair and let out a deep sigh, even the pot didn't do anything to help the guilt she felt.  
She had to talk to her, let her know she still wanted to be friend, after her 'toss and run' she doubted Casey would want to talk to her, she had seen the look in her eyes when they passed in the squad room. She had tried hard to joke with Casey; act like it didn't happen or didn't bother her.  
Something told Ilsa that it just made it more awkward for Casey and the last thing Ilsa wanted to do was lose one of the best friendships she had, the thought of not having Casey in her life at all was a harsh one....

The sun rose slowly casting a warm light through the windows, Ilsa grumbled as she got out of bed rolling to the edge of the bed and misjudging the distance she hit the ground with a loud thump  
"Ow" she mumbled into the floor still half asleep.

Hurried footsteps could be heard pounding against the floor out side, her door flew open and a very worried Josh stood there"You ok mum?" he asked seeing her face down on the floor  
"Oh" she said pushing herself up "I'm fine honey just saying hello to the floor"  
Josh shook his head and laughed as he walked away to get ready for the day ahead

Ilsa went into her bathroom and took a quick shower getting out she put on her clothes, doing up the last buttons on her long sleeved shirt she put a vest on and walked out to the kitchen, she smiled when she saw Josh had made breakfast for them.  
"Thanks honey" she said leaning down to kiss the top of his head  
"It's ok mum, I'm gonna go finish getting ready OK" he said as he trotted off down the hall to his room. Ilsa just smiled and ate the toast he had made, shaking her head at the amount of Vegemite he had put on.

Finished getting ready they walked down the stairs and out to the car spots  
"So what today?" she asked looking at him with a grin "Car or bike"  
Josh thought for a moment then smiled "Bike"  
"Hah!" laughed Ilsa "That my boy"  
Pulling out the two helmets she gave one to Josh and put the other on herself.  
Her bike was a chopper, a gift from a very good friend, it's paint was a sheen purple metallic colour, she loved to ride her bike but was always careful when she did, especially when she had a passenger on the back.  
"Ready?" she asked her voice muffled from the helmet

Josh just gave her a thumps up as she started her bike  
"Hold on tight" the engine roared to life as she took off, flying down the road.  
She pulled up out the front of her sons school and took the helmet from him  
"Your dad will pick you up today" she said with a smile as she placed the helmet back in its case which sat on the side of her bike.  
"Love you" Josh said as he walked away

Kids had stopped to look as Josh had been dropped off, the engine could be heard coming up the road, some whispered to each other, others just stopped and stared  
Ilsa smiled waved to them all before leaving the ground and heading to work

She could tell it was going to be a long day.

"Morning" Ilsa called to the almost empty room she stopped in her tracks and looked around the checked her watch "I have the right time don't I?" she asked

Fin looked up from his desk "Yeah" he said "everyone else just isn't in yet"  
Ilsa nodded "Fair enough" she said hanging her jacket up "How ya doing Finny boy?"  
Fin shook his head "I'm alright and you girl?"

Ilsa thought for a moment she could say she's doing lousy "I'm doing well today" she said with a smile as she got ready for a day at work.  
She got to work straight away, looking of her paper work, getting everything she could on her current case the rape of Emily Taucher, it was a hard one, very little evidence an unwilling victim and a lot of people who seemed to hate one of her supposed friends.

Ilsa ran her hand through her hair as she mulled over the suspects  
First off there was Carl Reyes 24: No one could confirm if he had been home or not at the time of the attack  
Mitchell Reyes 22: was with his girlfriend, they had confirmed that much.

Asael Garcia 23: who said he was with Joel, but for some reason that didn't sit to well with Ilsa  
Joel 17: is hiding something that much she is cretin of but it was a doubtful he did it…maybe he knew why she was out alone at so early in the morning.

And the Reyes daughter known as Samantha hasn't been seen for a few days, though her parent's didn't seemed worried too much, they needed to talk to her but so far she hadn't answered any of them.  
A big list and not a lot of time to do it, they were getting pressure from Carrisa to find the bastard who did this. Ilsa sighed, it was never easy.

Fin looked over his shoulder to see Ilsa sifting through papers and shaking her head. Fin spun his chair around so he was facing Ilsa, or at least her back  
"So" he said loudly "What have we got"

Ilsa sighed and leaned back in her chair "We've got a few suspects but nothing really solid, the only solid one is Carl Reyes but I just don't think he did it"

"Why not?" Fin asked

Ilsa shrugged "I don't know" she moaned her head falling to the desk with a loud thump, blowing some of the papers around the desk.

Olivia walked in to see Fin and Ilsa, Ilsa's head still on her desk "You ok Ilsa?" she asked as she got a cup of coffee

Ilsa shot up "Yeah" she said  
Olivia chuckled as she saw a piece of paper had gotten stuck on Ilsa's forehead  
"But someone turned out the light's!" Ilsa exclaimed in a worried tone as she moved her head around  
"You've got some paper stuck to your head" Fin said smiling  
Ilsa turned and smiled at him, slowly peeling the paper off "Yeah I know, I was just joking" she read the paper, it was a list of suspects the same piece of paper she had just been looking at.

"Should we go talk to Carl again? Maybe his Farther" Ilsa said looking at the paper still "There has got to be something were missing" she sighed

"Of course there is, if there wasn't we would have the guy who did this" Olivia said

Ilsa ran her hands through her hair and sighed again looking at the ceiling, she tried to think of what could have happened, from a simple explanation to one that was crazy in every sense.

"We need to find Samantha" Ilsa said as she spun her chair around "Some how this girl is involved with this either by accident or…" Ilsa let her sentence trail off as she thought of the possibilities.

Her parents said they hadn't seen her for a few days, Ilsa found that strange if it were her child she'd be worried sick and out there trying to find her, her brothers didn't seem worried either. She had people keeping an eye out for the girl both on and off the force, when someone saw her, Ilsa would be told and could finally talk to the girl about what she knew and how she was connected to Emily, she already knew they were friends but maybe there was something else.

Time had gone slowly it had only been about two hours since Ilsa had walked through the doors but it seemed like a lot longer once again Ilsa had reached a dead end on her case according to Emily it couldn't have been Carl or Mitchell so there went one of their only suspects…or if Ilsa faced the truth her only suspect no one else showed any sighs of being involved in the attack. She let out a frustrated sigh and got up from her desk, maybe a drink would help clear her mind, she walked over to the water cooler and grabbed one of the plastic cups and filled it, she smiled at Olivia and Elliot as she looked over there way. Drinking the whole cup in one breath she refilled it and started to walk back to her desk when her phone rang, she pulled it out of pocket and answered quickly

"Couri" she said in a firm tone.

Olivia and Elliot looked at the smile that slowly made its way across her face, Olivia looked at Elliot and shrugged both wondering what was being said on the other end of the call.  
"Great thank you so much...I owe you" Ilsa said as she hung up and quickly but carefully ran and placed her cup on her desk.

"What's up?" Olivia asked

"They've spotted Samantha" Ilsa said grabbing her jacket and slipping it on, she patted her pocket to make sure she had her keys and everything else she needed.

'Want me to come?" asked Olivia

"Yeah sure" Ilsa said with a big grin "You wanna come Elliot?"

Elliot looked around the room, there wasn't much to do "Sure" he said and the three disappeared out the room.

The streets weren't to busy, Ilsa was hiding down an alleyway watching, they had been told she was heading there way and they hoped she hadn't changed her mind. Olivia and Elliot were around too, Cars drove past and people hurried to their destination but they had yet to see a sign of Samantha.

"You sure she's coming this way?" Asked Olivia

Ilsa looked around and saw where Olivia was standing, she was by a food cart  
"This is what i got told, we just have to keep an eye out I'm sure she'll walk by any second" Ilsa said as she got up on her tiptoes to look around.

"Hey is she supposed to be meeting anyone?" asked Elliot from where he stood  
"Not that I know why?" Ilsa asked confused

"Because I can see her brother Carl from here"

Ilsa didn't say anything but she did see Carl walking down the footpath

"What's he doing here?" she whispered to herself as she watched him. The street was near enough empty, only a few people around know including the detectives.

He waved to someone but Ilsa couldn't see who, she inched closer to the street still trying to remain unseen in the alleyway. A person waved back their head covered by a dark blue hoodie _'show me your face'_ she thought as she watched the person wait for the cars to go past before crossing, Ilsa's gaze moved to the persons chest, she was holding something in her arms wrapped up.

Ilsa slipped from the alleyway and casualy walked over to Olivia  
"I think we found her" Ilsa said with a smile  
Olivia smiled back and they watched as the hooded person walked up to Carl.

"Hey" Said Carl as he wrapped his arms around the figure before him "Where have you been?"

The person pull there hood down, It was a girl with long slightly curly brown hair.  
"Look it doesn't matter ok" she smiled and shifted the bundle in her arms "Here someone wants to say hello" Samantha said with a smile

Carl smiled to and took the bundle, it giggled as he held it "How's my favourite niece doing?" he asked the baby he held in his arms

Samantha rolled her eyes but laughed "So what's been happening?" she asked "And can we go somewhere I'm starving" she joked.

Ilsa nodded to Elliot and the three detectives walked over to Carl and his sister

Elliot put his hand on Carl's shoulder "How about you introduce us to your friend" he said with a smile  
Ilsa walked up next to them "Samantha I presume, we'd like you to come down to the station and answer a few questions"

It happened quickly the way her face dropped at being asked to come to the station, the deer in the head light eyes, and as quickly as that she ran, Carl tried to but Elliot kept a hold of his shoulder.

"I'll follow Samantha Liv try head her off" Ilsa said as she turned to follow the path Sam had run. Olivia was quick and ran across the road Ilsa wasn't far behind.

Ilsa heard more then saw the car as it honked it's horn and the breaks echoed as it tried to stop in time, Ilsa didn't have much time to react it was either try move or get hit. Even if she had wanted to get out of the way it happened to quickly to stop. Onlookers gasped and ran to see as the detective was hurled up onto the bonnet of the car.

Ilsa cried out at the impact, it wasn't the first time she's been hit by a car but it was still painful, she tried to go with the flow so she didn't hurt herself to much but it didn't help. She bounced as she hit the bonnet and hit the windscreen the driver inside the car screamed, a loud thump echoed as she rolled off the car and hit the ground. Elliot moved to her side, Carl for his part didn't move.

It hurt like hell, her hip her arms, hell her whole body and she didn't want to get up she knew it would be better if she stayed where she was and waited for an ambulance but she couldn't stop herself, she got up onto shaky feet her lungs crying for more air as she caught her breath and walked off in the direction she was heading before she was rudely interrupted by the car.

"Stay here" she called to Elliot as she began a gimpy run after Sam.

Fate must have felt bad for hitting Ilsa with the car, because as she continued her limp run after the girl she found her down another alleyway with her hands in the air and Olivia a few feet away with her gun out, pointed at Sam

Ilsa hobbled up behind Samantha and put her cuffs on her, slowly walking back to Elliot and the few remaining people who had stopped to watch Ilsa and her bout with the car.  
Olivia went off to get her car and Ilsa walked to Elliot  
"You ok?" he asked

Ilsa held her hand up and bent over, catching her breath, her body screamed at her to sit down and rest her lungs burned as she took in breaths of air. As she stood up she took one last deep breath "Yup Fine" she said with a smile.

Slowly she made her way back to their cars, she protested when Olivia said she'd drive her back to the station, but in the end Ilsa caved and agreed, it meant she would have some time to rest before she got to question Samantha Reyes about her whereabouts of the last few days.

Ilsa shifted in her seat trying to get comfy, not really an easy thing to do after getting hit by a car, but at least the person had tried to slow down, Ilsa didn't really want to think of the extent the damage would have been if the car had been going full speed. Olivia had asked Ilsa to go to the hospital, there could be internal damage she could have a fracture anything, but Ilsa declined saying if anything were wrong she'd feel it, as they drove she even threatened that if Olivia took her there she wouldn't be the only one needing medical attention.

She looked into the rear-view mirror and saw Samantha scowling in the back seat, the first questions going through her mind was 'why would an innocent woman run' the scowl was to be expected, they were brining her in to question her about her friend Emily. Ilsa already had a few thoughts about the girl, first off she was young, and apparently had a child, she had a lot of questions to ask this girl first thing that came to mind was to yell at her for getting her hit by a car

_'hmm'_ Ilsa thought _'wonder if I should get that person a new windscreen' _…

**Please read and review it'll make me smile :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Yay another chapter up I've been up until 5am working on this and I'm now ready to hit the sack but as all ways I look forward to any reviews and criticism I'm eager to learn from my mistakes and continue this story. Hope you all enjoy and it will hold you over until my next update :)**

Samantha Reyes had been led into one of the interview rooms while the detectives decided who amongst them would interview her.  
"It's your case" Olivia said to Fin "Why don't you do it?"

"Because I'm trying to work some magic and get us something to help with the case"

"Let him work his magic Liv" Said Ilsa, she hadn't moved around the room much since she had walked in, her body throbbed and begged her to rest, she'd been leaning on the edge of Olivia's desk rather then risk sitting down and not being able to get back up.

"I'll do it, it's no problem"  
"You?" pipped in Elliot "You just got hit by a car and should be in hospital now"

Ilsa rolled her eyes "I feel fine it's not the worst thing to happen to me by far"

Elliot shook his head and crossed his arms  
Fin looked confused "What about a car?"

"It's nothing" Said Ilsa trying to keep cool "I got into a little accident no biggie"

"She got hit by a car" Olivia popped in

"Why aren't you in hospital?" Asked Fin shocked that she was at work after that  
"If I feel worse I'll go, why waste money and time on nothing plus I don't like them"

"I still say you should go" Said Olivia

Ilsa tried to glare at Olivia but she smirk on her face gave it away that she wasn't serious.  
"Ok then because you put so much of yourself into this, you talk to her" Elliot said

"Fine" Said Ilsa with a smile as she slowly made her way to the interview room, Elliot shook his head as he saw her attempt at walking, the limp very noticeable, he couldn't wrap his head around why she didn't want to go to the hospital it was the best choice but then again it if were him and he was so into the case he wouldn't want to, maybe he could see where she was coming from.

The room was cold and Samantha sat alone in the dark grey room, waiting for someone, the scowl had not left her face and she was clearly unhappy.

Ilsa took a deep breath before she opened the door and walked in

"G'day" she said with a smile, doing her best to mask the limp.  
"Leave me alone" Samantha snapped

"Afraid I can't do that" Ilsa said she pulled out some photos from the folder she had grabbed before coming in.

"Why'd you bring me here?" Sam snapped

"Why'd you get me hit by a car?" Ilsa said sarcastically, stopping Sam from saying anything more

"Tell me do you know Emily Taucher?" She asked, though she already knew Samantha and Emily were friends.

Samantha's face lost colour and she didn't say anything, just started into space

Ilsa walked around behind her "It's an easy question to answer, yes or no" she said as she stopped back in front of Sam completing her little circle.

The girl nodded slowly "I know her" she tried to make her voice sound strong but it wasn't working it came out sounding weak and unsure.

"When was the last time you saw her?" Ilsa asked, her face blank she wasn't showing any emotion wearing the mask she often wore when she was at work, though she still felt for the girl

"Why? What's happened?" Sam asked frantically

"Answer the question" Ilsa stated  
"Not until you answer mine where's Emily!" she called "I want to see her, what happened, you wouldn't have brought me here if it wasn't something bad"

Ilsa took a deep breath and sat down "You got that right honey" she shifted until she was comfy in the seat and crossed her arms leaning back "So you going to answer me?"

Sam calmed herself down "A few days' She- I went away for a little while"

"Your parents said it was almost a week you've been gone"

She nodded "Sounds about right"

"How do you know each other?"

"Church, we went to church together, I was friends with her brother most of the kids at the church are friends"

Ilsa nodded "But you don't go anymore, why?"

The way Sam's jaw clenched didn't go unnoticed by Ilsa "They don't let us go anymore, don't want us there"

"Because you're a sinner?" Ilsa Asked  
"What?" Snapped Sam "Who the hell do you think you are!" she demanded

"That's what I got told about you" Ilsa said, defending herself "Is it because you have a baby?"

Sam's face went pale again "Oh god my baby, where is she?" she asked franticly the panic evident in her voice and appearance, she jumped up from her seat

"Hey calm down" Said Ilsa holding her hand up her voice taking on less of an emotionless tone and more of a caring one "She's fine we've got her, talk to me and we'll bring her in"

Samantha Reyes was getting upset, her eyes brimming with tears "Your promise?" she asked  
Ilsa nodded "Promise"

"What do you want to know" Sam asked as she sat back down

"How close are you and Emily?"

Sam paused, looking around the room before she answered "We're like best friends, we know everything about each other, she even stayed by me when I found out I was pregnant"

"Do you mind me asking who the farther is?"

Sam snorted "Some ass that left after he got what he wanted"

"You really don't know do you?" Ilsa asked

"Know what?" asked Sam, her brow furrowed

"Samantha….Emily was attacked, she's in the hospital" Ilsa said calmly

"Oh my god...I have to see her which hospital when were you going to tell me when did this happen who did this"

Ilsa walked over and placed a hand on Sam's shoulder, she didn't hear half of what had been said, the whole sentence had just piled together as it left the distraught girls mouth

"Hey calm down, she's ok"

"Who? Who did it?" Sam asked her eyes red as the tears threatened to spill out

"I was hoping you could help us, we got told that it might have been your brother"

Sam scoffed and pushed Ilsa away "That's a lie my brothers would never hurt anyone!"

"Ok ok" Ilsa said raising her hands in surrender "Then who could have?"

"This is because Carl hit that guy? He was just defending himself"

"I was told he was harassing Emily"

"NO!" she snapped loudly and then sighed "were friends all of us, he was talking to Emily because I asked him to…f-for me"

"He said her loved her"

Sam rolled her eyes and snorted "And you think that means they were a couple or something? No she's like a sister to them, nothing like that"

"So you're telling me, neither of your brother's could have done this because" Ilsa cleared her throat "Your brothers love her, as a sister, and they didn't assault anyone it was a misunderstanding because you wanted them to talk to Emily for you…"

Sam shrugged "That's about it"

"Did you hurt her" Ilsa asked

"What? That's just stupid I've never hurt her like that"  
Ilsa raised her eyebrow at the choice of words used, she'll let it go for know, she wasn't getting told something.

Ilsa passed Sam one of the photos "Any idea who it could have been?"

"Oh god…" Sam whispered as she saw the photo of her bruised and battered friend "I-I don't know" she sighed, a tear falling down her cheeck

Ilsa took the photo back, not wanting to upset the woman anymore

"It was probably that asshole Asael, he always did have a hard on for her" she spat with a lot of venom in her voice

"You don't like him?" Ilsa asked hiding a smile

"He was always asking her out and wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, he got close to her parents and brother hoping it would help him with her"

"Why's that?"

Sam smiled "Haven't you seen her detective? Emily is gorgeous, face it anyone would want her"

Ilsa smiled as she listened to Samantha talked about her friend

"She doesn't let the money go to her head, she kind and funny and anyone would be lucky to have her, she's my best friend"

The look in Samantha's eyes did go unnoticed by the detective either "Despite the age difference?" Ilsa asked

"The difference doesn't matter, we get along great can talk about anything-"she sighed "Can I please go see her, I'm sure my daughter wants to see her to"

Ilsa smiled "Not yet, I still need to ask you some more questions"

Ilsa heard a knock at the door and turned to see Elliot open it "Captain wants to see you"

"I'll be done in-"

"Now" added Elliot

Ilsa looked at Samantha and shrugged "I'll be back soon ok" she said and she slowly pushed herself up from the chair and walked to her captain's office.

Ilsa knocked on the door gently and heard the Captain's deep voice beckon her inside She opened the door with a soft creek and peeked her head inside, she smiled when she saw him and he waved her in.  
She walked in and saw George; she smiled and nodded her head, he way of saying hello without having to shake hands.

"What are you doing?" He asked, he didn't seem to happy

"Uh…you asked me to come in" Ilsa answer unsurely

Don shook his head "Is what I've been told true?"

"Depends what you have been told" Ilsa said with her trademark cheeky smile

"Were you hit by a car Ilsa?" Cragen asked, his voice demanded an answer

Ilsa contemplated lying, but she didn't like to lie to her friend "Yes" she said dejectedly

"Why aren't you in the hospital then?" he asked, he was concerned for his detective, she needed to be check out

Ilsa cleared her throat unsure of how to answer, she could be sarcastic…no he'd just get even madder at her, she could joke about it…no same thing again Don would be mad, no matter what she said he was going to be mad, maybe this was one of those times when the truth was the best thing.

"I don't want to" Ilsa said avoiding his gaze.

"Ilsa you could be injured" he said with utmost concern in his voice

"I'm ok, nothing is broken, and my head feels fine it's just a little hard to walk" she said with a sad look across her face.

"You could have internal bleeding" he pointed out

"If I feel worse I'll go" Ilsa said, starting to get annoyed by the fact nobody would drop the subject

"I'd feel better if you were checked out by a doctor" He said

"Fine" Ilsa said "George is here, he can look at me" she said with a smile

"What?" Asked George

"You're a doctor, just give me the once over and tell me I'm good to go" Ilsa didn't much like the idea of the young doctor touching her, but if it stopped everyone from worrying about her she'd do it.

George shook his head and sighed

"Come on, you got a light, shine it in my eyes tell me I'm good and everyone is happy"

"You should see a real doctor" Donald said. George just gave him a look "No offence George I just mean one at a hospital, where they can scan you and keep you if anything is wrong"

"That's my last offer, take it or leave it" Ilsa said crossing her arms, Donald didn't look happy.

"Ok" George said "But if I find something wrong you're going to the hospital"

"Yea sir!" Ilsa Said with a salute.

George pulled out his bag of tricks and shone a light into Ilsa's eyes, they reacted the way he had hoped, normally.  
"See I'm fine" Ilsa said as she made her way to leave

"Stay" Said Donald "We don't know if you have any broken bones"

"What? You want me to strip in your office?" she asked and shrugged her shoulder she undid her vert and put it over the chair, the started to unbutton her blouse

"What are you doing!?" Exclaimed George

"How else are you going to check for broken bones" Ilsa said not stopping until all the buttons where undone "I'm wearing an undershirt" she said with a scowl as she put her blouse over her vest on the chair "And it's easier to check without a barrier in the way"

Donald and George stared as Ilsa finished with her shirt "Like what you see" she asked with a sly grin

"I thought you only had little tattoos?" George asked as he walked closer

Ilsa laughed "This isn't even all of it" she said with a smile, Trailing down her arm, from shoulder to wrist was a black tribal tattoo wrapping around her arm, her whole sleeve was done.

_'No wonder she wears long sleeves' _thought George _'tattoo's like this can be very intimidating'_

George walked up and pressed into her side, It hurt but Ilsa didn't let on  
"Did that hurt?" he asked, Ilsa shook her head not trusting herself to talk, it was awkward enough  
George rolled his eyes and pressed into her hip "What about that?"  
Ilsa moved away and placed her hands over her hips "Ow yes!" she claimed angrily "You happy?" she asked, clearly she wasn't.  
George smiled "Get yourself check as a hospital, I can't see anything wrong but that doesn't mean there isn't" he said in his professional way

"Now when you say something wrong do you mean physically or mentally?" Ilsa said with her cheeky grin and she put her blouse over her shoulders.

Donald and George shook their heads, Don Let out a soft chuckle as they walked out  
George said his goodbyes and went back to his office, Ilsa moved into the squad room and began to button up her shirt.

"My my" Said Munch "What happened in there" he asked with a sly look on his face

"Why, do you wish it were you much?" Ilsa asked with a wink as she finished with her buttons  
Munch raised his eyebrows and Ilsa laughed "Huang wanted to check me out"

Munch's jaw dropped and everyone else stopped what they were doing to stare

"For injuries" Ilsa clarified "get your mind out of the gutters people"

"And what did he say?" Asked Olivia  
"I got told to get my butt to the hospital" she paused and put her vest back on "But I don't think I will just yet"

"I see it's gotten bigger" commented Donald as he walked to get a cup of coffee  
"You should see the whole thing know" she said, Donald shook his head and headed back into his office to finish his paper work, which sadly was never ending.

"What's gotten bigger?" Asked Elliot from his desk  
"My tattoo" Ilsa said  
He looked at her hand and the tattoo of a bracelet that ran around her wrist, a cross resting in the space between her thumb and her index finger

"Doesn't look any bigger to me"

"He wasn't talking about that one" Ilsa said, Elliot raised his eyebrow at her and she sighed "Do you want me to show you" Ilsa said as she took off the vest she had just put back on.

"No!" Elliot claimed  
Ilsa shook her head "I have a shirt on underneath, why does every freak when I go to take my shirt of" she sighed and rolled up her sleeve to her elbow "This is the one he was talking about"

"Wow" Said Fin as he looked at it  
"So that's why you wear long sleeves all the time" Elliot said  
"So it's it bigger then yours?" Ilsa asked with a smile  
"I think so" he said "Olivia what do you think?" he asked

"Don't ask her, she's never really liked it" Ilsa said as she rolled her sleeve back down

"I never said I didn't like it I just always wondered why you got such a big tattoo"

"It's not that big" Said Elliot

Ilsa laughed and they turned to look at her "Oh you guys just haven't seen all of it, Olivia has"

"Well how big then?" Asked Munch

A sly grin worked its way across Ilsa face "Let's jut say I'd have to take off a lot more then just my shirt to see it all"  
Olivia chuckled "Ok we need to get back to work, you still questioning Samantha?"  
"I think I'll leave her alone for now, let her wait a bit before I go back in"

"Speaking of this case what have you been doing Fin?" Munch asked  
"Working my magic what have you done" Fin said and he handed them some paper "I got Emily's financial records"

"How'd you get them?" Asked Olivia  
"Oh they're pretty willing to cooperate" Fin said with a smile

"Ok then" Ilsa said "Lets look for anything suspicious"

It had been a good half an hour and they hadn't found much, and there were a lot of things to go though, man this girl knew how to shop.

"Hey look at this El" Olivia said handing him the piece of paper she was holding  
"What?" he asked as he looked at it  
Olivia pointed to a line he had highlighted "She spend a lot of money here but I've never heard of it"

"Underground?" Elliot asked "What is it a clothing shop or something"

"Hey let me see that" Ilsa said putting her stuff down and walking over she took the paper and scanned it, she turned the paper around and looked at the back even thought there was nothing on that side.

Ilsa walked and grabbed her own piece of paper and smiled "Oh my…" she said with a grin  
"What?" Olivia asked confused  
"I know this place" Ilsa said  
"What Underground?" Elliot asked

"Yeah" Ilsa said as she scanned over the paper seeing that Emily had gone there quite a few times before all this happened.  
Ilsa pulled out her phone and dialled a number. Elliot took the paper she was holding and went over it.

"Hi is Gayle there?" Ilsa asked the person who had picked up  
_"Oh no sorry she's out right now can I take a message"_ the woman on the other end asked, Ilsa just shook her head  
"Is she at lunch?" Ilsa asked  
the woman was quiet on the other end _"y-yes...do you have an 'appointment'?"_

Ilsa chuckled "No not today, but thanks" Ilsa said as she hung up, a grin plastered on her face.  
"Who was that?" Asked Olivia

"Receptionist" Ilsa said as she grabbed her keys, Ilsa turned and looked at the watched on her right wrist "should be open lets go see if I can get you guys in"

"What do you mean get us in?" Asked Elliot  
"You can't get into Underground unless you're a regular, have been invited or are with someone whose welcome" Ilsa said the grin still on her face "But if you're with me I can get you in"  
"But what is it?" Elliot asked

"I guess one way to describe it is…it's a club of sorts for people who…" Ilsa paused rubbing her chin

"Out with it Ilsa" Demanded Elliot

"Who are into things that may or may not be socially accepted"

"And you're a regular?" Asked Olivia  
"I know the owner" Ilsa said as she, Olivia and Elliot left the squad room to pay a visit to a placed they'd never even heard of but for some reason, really weren't keen on finding out about…

**Please read and review you know they make me smile :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Woot got another done, i am on a roll yay! Please read and review, I will start the next chapter soon and hopefully get it up soon too :D. I do hope this chapter is good and people like it, i was trying to get what was in my head onto the page, i think it worked, if not just let me know and I'll try do better next time.  
**

"So how do you know this place really?" Asked Olivia as Ilsa turned down yet another busy street

"Ok I go here sometimes, it's complicated"

Olivia raised an eyebrow "Then simplify it, you're good at that"

Ilsa chuckled "Ok I go here sometimes but not for the same reason as everyone else, everyone has their own reason for coming here"

Olivia nodded and looked into the rear view mirror; Elliot was right behind them in his car. She didn't know what kind of place this was but if Ilsa went there it wasn't going to be something normal.

Ilsa slowed down the car and slowly pulled into a parking lot. She got out of the car and waited for Elliot to park his car.

"This is it?" he asked looking to a building in front of them, it was big, they couldn't tell much from the back of it though.

"Appearances can be deceiving detectives just follow me"

They made there was across the parking lot, there were quite a few cars around for the middle of the day. As they made it around the front they saw it was most definitely a club, there was a velvet rope and a sign above the door _'Underground'_ it must have looked a lot different at night when the sign was on, the front made it seem like some high class club, a rolled out carpet, gold along the edges of the door. The windows though, on the second floor, a few of them were tinted while others weren't.

_'Odd'_ thought Olivia

Ilsa tilted her head to a man in a suit standing out the front, he was a large man, muscular could break your face with one punch, his hair was short almost completely shaven, like a fine fuzz on the top of his head.

As they neared he raised his eyebrow, Olivia and Elliot were about to go straight into cop mode but Ilsa stepped out in front of them.

"Hey" Ilsa said in a cheery voice"Hey" he said with a smile "Haven't seen you around in a few days"  
Ilsa chuckled "I haven't had a reason to come by"  
The man put on a hurt expression "Not even to see me?" he asked, not trying to hide the face her was checking her out

"Honey I know your reputation and it's not my thing" Ilsa was trying to ignore the looks from the man in front of her

He laughed "You come here and it's not your thing?"

"I never said 'that' wasn't my thing, now you going to let us in?"

He looked over her shoulder to Elliot and Olivia who had just been standing there wondering what the hell was going on, nothing on the outside showed what kind of club this was, and they wanted to know.

"What's with the suits?" he asked making no attempt to do anything or move out of the way

"There with me, you know the rules" Ilsa said clearly getting annoyed with him

"You got an invite?" he asked with a smug look on his face.

"Look you can either let us in, or I'll use my key" Ilsa said, when he made no attempt to move Ilsa walked around him towards the doors.

"Hey you cant do that!" he yelled

Elliot and Olivia were right behind her as Ilsa pushed open the red double doors, she waved her hand in the air "take it up with the boss" she yelled back.

Olivia watch as her friends that seemed so uneasy around people, more men then anyone else, stood up to a man twice her size.

"He could have done something" she stated

Ilsa turned and smiled "Not if he wants to keep his job" she said smugly.

It was dark after the doors closed with a bang. Another man was on the other side of the door.  
"Hey" he said in a deep voice

"Hi" Ilsa said seemingly back to her happy self "How's work?" she asked

The man shrugged, it was dark where he sat making it hard to make out his features "Doesn't normally get interesting until night" he said, as he lifted his head they could make out a smile "Or until _you_ show up"

Ilsa shook her head and waved goodbye to the man, it wasn't long until they found a set of stairs and went down, once they got to the last step they saw a hallway, they followed it, Olivia and Elliot taking in the sites

"I don't think this is a clothing shop" he whispered to Olivia, Ilsa snickered to herself.

They saw a desk at the end of the tunnel; it was easy enough to figure that's where they needed to head.

A scream broke the silence of the detectives, Olivia and Elliot always quick to the draw had their guns out and were pressed against the wall either side of the hallway. Ilsa stopped and looked at them, and shook her head.

"Guys if you're going to do that every time you hear a scream here go wait at the cars"

Olivia and Elliot shot each other a look and both had the same though crash into their minds _'more screams?'  
_

When they came back to reality and put their guns away Ilsa was at the end of the hall and nearing the desk "Hurry up you guys!" she yelled and waved, sound and looking like a girl calling her friends to come get in the pool.

They jogged to her side and came to a large wooden desk that had a slight curve into, it seemed they were at the cross-section of the halls; they looked behind the desk, a set of stairs and a door to the right of it, the bathroom.

To the right another corridor, Ilea leaned back "That leads to the supply room"

she whispered then pointed to the left "And those are the rooms"

"Rooms for what?" Elliot asked as another cry broke the silence

There hand moved to their guns

"Easy" Ilsa growled a low warning without turned back to look at them.

Two women walked around the corner carry cups of coffee and saw the detectives.  
"Can I help you?" the smaller of the two women asked, she placing her cup down a smile on her face, she seemed nice, long straight brown hair, she wore a white blouse and a black shirt. She made this place look like an office, though the screams said otherwise.

"Yo Ilsa" the other woman called, she looked, less then nice, black hair with multiple streaks, a nose ring, snake bites and multiple ear piercings.

"Hey Kat" Ilsa said with a big smile

"Little early for you to be here huh?" she asked raising en eyebrow

Ilsa just glared, but Kat knew she wasn't angry

"You called earlier before didn't you?" Kat asked after taking a drink from her cup.

Ilsa nodded "yeah, probably one of many calls though"

Kat tapped the other girl on the shoulder "This is Ilsa" she said pointing

Ilsa nodded "G'day"

"Give her whatever she asks for" Kat said with a wicked smile "She's the bosses 'special' friend"

"Is she in Kat?" Ilsa asked trying unsuccessfully to hide her grin

"Everything but that" Kat said sarcastically  
"She's still out" the other woman said in an almost shy voice

Ilsa looked at her watch "Judging by the time she's in, I think I'll go to her office"

"Ilsa..."Kat said in a stern voice "She's _'out'_"

Ilsa raised her eyebrow and shook her head, moving to go behind the desk; Kat went over to Ilsa and grabbed her arm.

"She'll drop any appointment for me and you know it"

"She said she didn't want to see anyone Ilsa, I think you would know whats that's like"

Ilsa smiled "Then a visit from me will be a sure fire cure for the blues"

"Could be what caused it" The other woman murmured before sitting down and typing on the computer

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way honey" Kat just shook her head at Ilsa.

Ilsa sighed "This isn't a personal visit Kat"  
"I still can't let you through"

"Come on Kat you know I'm allowed-"

"Hey" Ilsa was interrupted by a man walking up to Kat, he wore no shirt and tight leather pants "She here?" he asked

Kat smiled "She waiting in your usual room" she said and the man walked off.

Elliot and Olivia just followed the man as he went to their left and entered one of the rooms "God what kind of place is this?" Olivia mumbled

Ilsa pulled out her Badge and showed it to her "I'm here on business"

Kat's jaw dropped open "You didn't…" she said

"Oh yeah" Ilsa said "I played the 'I'm a cop' card"

Ilsa moved Kats arm and motioned for Elliot and Olivia to follow her "In her office…right?" Ilsa asked with a smug grin.

Kat nodded but not before flipping off Ilsa as she watched the detectives disappear up the stairs…

"We just walked down a bunch of stairs why are we going back up" Olivia complained, though her tone wasn't serious

"Because I don't feel like taking the elevator" Ilsa quipped

"There's an elevator?" Asked Elliot

"Where we just were was…I guess you could call it the basement of the building, the other parts are a club"

"There's two parts to this place?" Asked Olivia

Ilsa nodded "Were going to the office to see the owner"

They reached the top of the stairs and found a door, the only one there Elliot and Olivia looked around while Ilsa just threw it opened.

It was a large room, along the back wall a large window looking out, they must have gone up to the second story of the building, and a long sleek desk, a leather chair tucked in, all the things you expect to find, computer, phone, personal items, A large book case on the right wall and another door on the far side of the room.

"I was told you'd be coming" a voice called from across the room, a woman walked to the desk, she wore a crisp black suit, her hair was long and a deep red.

"Hey Gayle" Ilsa sung as she walked closer

"Hello, what are you doing here and why did you use that door?"

_'She doesn't waste anytime thought' _ Olivia

"We need to ask you some questions Mrs.." Elliot said as he walked up behind Ilsa and showed his badge

"Miss Welch, but you may call me Gayle" she said, she oozed confidence and they way she carried her self was like someone from a rich upbringing, not at all like how they thought she would be

"Questions? about what sir?" Gayle asked not taking her seat.

"About Emily Taucher"

Gayle smiled "Sorry I cant help you, kindly show yourselves out please"

Eliot didn't looked happy, he opened his mouth to talk but Ilsa stopped him

"Let me Elliot" she whispered

Ilsa turned and gave her lopsided grin

"Are you going to answer my questions girl?" Gayle asked "or do I need to find another way of getting them out of you?" her eyebrows raised she said her sentence and a cheeky grin came across her face

"No need, one that was 'such' a nice greeting" Ilsa said sarcastically "two we do need to talk to you and three, the questions we need to ask involve the _'lower levels'_ so I thought it best we enter from there"

"You just wanted to see Kat didn't you" Gayle said teased playfully

"Nah that was just a perk, by the way nice new receptionist"

"Cutie aint she, I thought she'd catch your eye" Gayle said placing her hands on her hips

"It's always the quiet ones you know" Ilsa said rolling her eyes

Gayle laughed "What did she do?"

"Said a rather funny quip to me before I came up"

Elliot and Olivia took to looking around the room for signs of what the hell went on in the club below.

"Ok back to business, what do you need to ask me, dear detectives"

"About a girl Emily Taucher, she attends this club" Elliot said

"Did she say she came here?" Gayle's look was serious and to some it may have even been intimidating

"No but her-"

"Then I can't help you detectives" Gayle stated simply

"Her bank details shows she spent a lot of money here" Olivia said loudly "what was she doing here?"

Gayle tried to stifle her laugh but it didn't work "Have you even let you friends know what it is we do here"

Ilsa shook her head

"Always afraid of what others think aren't you" Gayle said, her voice smooth and calming her sight set solely on Ilsa.

"It doesn't matter how you figured it out detectives, I can't help you"

"So you do know her?" Elliot asked

"Indeed I do, I know almost everyone who comes to this part of my club"

"Then why can't you help us?" Asked Olivia getting tired of going in circles

"Privacy" she stated turning to look out the window at the back of her desk

"What do you mean?" Asked Elliot

"The people who come here except a certain amount of privacy, it's one of the reasons my club is so popular" she explained

"What 'exactly' is it that goes on here" Olivia asked

Gayle smiled and turned around to face them and Ilsa seemed to shrink away, not really wanted then to know.

"One half is a bar, you know meet people drink and if you have a nice enough time and share the same interests you can 'retire' to private room"

Olivia's and Elliot's jaw's dropped "it's a sex club?" they asked

Gayle scoffed "You make it sound so dirty and perverted, it's not like that, it's a safe place for people, you can come and drink meet someone and leave like nothing happened, one hint of trouble and the person is thrown on the street, any violence and the cops are called, or my little detective here" she smiled pointing at Ilsa "takes care of them"

Elliot and Olivia look over at Ilsa, she had her eyes closed tightly, she was wishing this wasn't happening, she had hoped Gayle would give them what they needed and they could leave, she didn't want them knowing about her private life, or getting the wrong idea about it.

"And if your referring to the lower levels detectives" Gayle said running her fingers along her jaw "That's a completely different story"

"If that half is a sex club what is the other?" Asked Olivia, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"It's a place where people who like to do things differently can come; it's all safe of course"

"That's it?" Elliot asked "we heard screaming, you're lucky we didn't start busting doors down"

Gayle chuckled "You'd get quite the surprise if you did that detective, and I assure it was all consensual"

Elliot's jaw dropped again "They were having sex?"

Gayle nodded "Just not in the…how do you put it…normal way"

"In what way then?" He asked angrily "We hear screaming and see people walking around in…leather…" he stopped as he made the connection.

Olivia came to the same one "It's a Bondage club…isn't it"

"Very good Miss Benson" Gayle said beaming "It is, it is a safe place for people to practise it and everyone here is a willing participant…even…"Gayle paused as she looked at Ilsa, she knew the look on her young friends face all to well a mix of pain a fear, perhaps she had made a mistake in implying Ilsa liked this kind of thing it looked like Ilsa was going to run from the office and hide somewhere.

"Even people you wouldn't think like this and before you go and judge us" she said firmly "Know that we do this because we want to, and we do not go around and mutilate each other, I know some people like them, but this is a place to live out fantasy, live out desires in a safe place, not everyone here is into bondage so i guess it isn't you typical bondage club, those who come here, come knowing that there secrets are safe and so are they"

Olivia and Elliot didn't know what to say, maybe it was because they had discovered a sex club, or because one of there own was a frequent visitor of said club, their gazes shifted to Ilsa, they were beginging to see her in a new light, and it wasn't exactly one she wanted.

"Know you now why I cant talk about her, you can leave know" Gayle said with a raised eyebrow

"I don't think you know what's going on here!" Elliot said sounding rather angry "A young girl was attacked and it could have been-"

"Hold on" Ilsa said stepping from where she stood next to Elliot "I think I can get her to tell us" se didn't look at him, kept her eyes to the floor as Ilsa made her way around the desk to Gayle

Elliot folded his arms and watched wondering what Ilsa couldn't do to get her attention

"Gayle…" Ilsa said in a shy voice "Please?"

Gayle shook her head "You of all people know I can't"

A wicked grin came over Ilsa's face, the scared and worried Ilsa was gone, she was back to being her 'cop' self….or at least she was back to her normal self

She slowly walked behind Gayle and slid her arms around her waist, and rested her head on the taller woman's shoulder "Not even for me?" she asked in an innocent voice. _'this should get her'_

"What is she doing?" Asked Elliot

"Uh…sweet talking, I guess, getting the info we need" Olivia said watching the scene before her.

Gayle was loosing the fight with her friend "Ilsa" she warned

"Please tell me"

Gayle shook her head and Ilsa placed a soft kiss on the side of her neck "Even after all I've done for you…"

Gayle groaned "Fine!" she threw her arms up in defeat

"Great!" Ilsa beamed as she let go of her friend and joined her place next to Elliot and Olivia

Gayle Welch wasn't happy and it showed

"You don't even have to say it straight" Ilsa said raising an eyebrow

Elliot and Olivia looked confused but the woman across from them seemed to understand

"Did Emily come here?"

"Yes" Gayle said sitting down

"To use the 'play ground'?" asked Ilsa with a smile

Gayle shook her head once she realised what kind of 'code' she was going to use

"Yes and she'd bring a friend sometimes…"

Ilsa got a wicked grin on her face "a SR?"

"You know it"

"Ok, know did they play on the playground together?" Ilsa asked writing everything down as she went

"Yes, but-"

"But? why a but?" Ilsa asked "Not buts, Butts are for sitting"

Gayle chuckled and rose a hand "They didn't like to play with the other kids…"

Gayle could see the gears turning in Ilsa's head and knew it would take a second to realise what she was saying, the other two detectives however were having trouble following, she couldnt help but feel sorry for them.

"I know for a fact Emily spent quite a bit of money here, which either means she played a lot or-"

"or" Gayle cut her off "She bought her own"

Ilsa nodded "One last thing"

"Ok" Gayle said thinking she had told them everything she could without crossing a line.

"M&S" Ilsa asked

The red head shook her head

"Ok D&S?"

another shake

"Then who was the T and who was the B?" Ilsa asked a smile on her face

"ST EB, is that all?"

The three nodded "See ya Gayle" Ilsa said as they headed for the door

"Are you coming by again Ilsa?" Gayle called

"Not anytime soon honey!" she called back before the door shut

It was a long quiet walked back to the car

"What the hell was all that?" demanded Olivia  
"I just got us some info that we needed without the need to get a court order or anything"

"Is this why you have all those bruises?" Olivia asked, Ilsa didn't say anything just hung her head "You like it rough don't you?"

Ilsa shook her head "Not everyone in their loves it rough to the point the flesh it broken Olivia"

"Are you one of those people?" Olivia asked placing her hand on her friends shoulder, her voice caring, she didn't hate Ilsa for it, just never picked her for a 'rough love' kind of girl, it did however make her see her friend in a new light and yeah if only for a few minutes made her loose a little respect, but it was quickly back when she saw the look in her friend eyes and knew there was a reason behind it all.

"I told you earlier, I go for a different reason…"Ilsa said her eyes filled with hurt and fear….Everyone had their own was of dealing with pain….but Ilsa wasn't ready to share hers yet…

**Please read and review it will make me a happy Panda :P**


	11. Chapter 11

**Whew another chapter done, sorry i took so long, been sick and dealing wiht some stuff anywho I am a very happy Panda right now and i am really enjoying writing this story. as all ways i will start the next chapter soon (it's 5am right now and i need some sleep) When i get up I'll get started, Until then i hope you enjoy! (If i have made any big mistakes let me know and I'll fix them) :)**

It was a long and quiet drive back to the station, Ilsa sat with her head against the glass, staring into space while Olivia drove, she hadn't said a word since they left 'Underground' as Ilsa always did when she got like this, she retreated into herself and shut the world off, she kept her feelings bottled up afraid that if she talked to anyone they'd leave, she would rather suffer alone then risk dragging someone down with her.

Olivia glanced at Ilsa while they stopped at a set of lights, this is what Ilsa was like when they first met…minus about 19 years.  
They had met when Ilsa was little more then ten years old, she wanted to meet with a lawyer, the lawyer she met with was one that specialised in kids and was also a friend to Olivia.

Maybe it was fate but on the day Ilsa went to find the lawyer Olivia had been there and she had seen this same look in her eyes, Olivia knew the look well she had had it once or twice when she was a kid, Olivia decided she had to help and they soon became friends, Olivia could see the look slowly changing in the little girl and Ilsa had found a friend to share her story with, to help her, though she didn't say it a lot she looked up to Olivia. To Ilsa, Olivia was one of the most amazing women she had ever had the pleasure of knowing and she hated herself for keeping so much from her.

But for some reason Ilsa called of everything she had been working for, she had come to see them covered in bruises and all she would tell them was "It wasn't worth it anymore"  
Not long after that she had been hospitalised for a suicide attempt, Olivia wouldn't forget what she saw that day. It seemed like Ilsa had had the fight taken out of her, the life, her eyes looked empty. The same look she was giving now.

"You ok?" Olivia Asked not knowing whether Ilsa would answer with the truth, a lie or just not answer at all.

She let out a deep sigh but didn't look away from the window "Do you hate me?" she asked tentatively.

"What?' Olivia asked surprised at the question "Of course I don't, I just didn't think you were into…that…"

Ilsa let out a sad scoff "You say it like it's a bad thing Olivia" she rolled her head to look at her friend "it's not what you think"

"Then what is it?"

Ilsa shook her head "Judging by the way you described it, definitely not what you think, I don't get off on tying people up forcing them to do degrading things and making them my bitches"

Olivia let out a soft chuckle

"And I definitely don't get off having people warp me up in leather, put a collar on me and stick ball gag in my mouth"

Olivia laughed "Something told me that might be a bit extreme even for you"  
"Trust me Liv those rubber balls taste disgusting!" she exclaimed

Ilsa smiled for the first time since they left "I go for a reason completely my own and for no one else"

"And Gayle?"

"Gayle is a woman I've known for years and yes she is into bondage, but she respects peoples limits in what they will and will not do" she paused and took a deep breath "Gods know she's been more then patient with me over the years"

"So you've been coming here a lot then?" Olivia asked raising and eyebrow and smiling

Ilsa laughed "Kind of, but I knew Gayle before she opened the club…she's been a good friend"

They settled into another silence after that.

"Are you going to tell anyone?" Ilsa asked  
Olivia shook her head but didn't take her eyes off the road "No one needs to know about your personal preferences, it's your life"

"So what was that code you and Gayle were using?"

"It wasn't really a 'code' just a way to get what we needed without really breaking the rules" Ilsa said as they pulled into the parking spot at the station

"So what's TB?" Olivia asked as they stepped out of the car

"Tuberculosis?"  
"Haha" Said Olivia dryly "You know what I mean"  
"Yeah it stands for 'Top and Bottom' I think you can fill in the rest" Ilsa said as they got into the elevator, pushing the button for their floor

"Oh, I know what that is, so why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

Ilsa scoffed "Hello!" she said "We were speaking in code"  
"Riiiight, you just didn't want us to know which one you are" Olivia said nudging Ilsa in the ribs  
"Can you guess which I am?" Ilsa asked as she left the elevator.

"Do I want to know?" Olivia teased  
"Oh believe me honey I know things that would 'blow your mind'" Ilsa said putting extra emphasis on her last three words, causing Olivia to start laughing at her friend.

"Hey do you want to go out tonight, a few of us are going to dinner" Olivia offered a smile still across her face  
Ilsa couldn't stop the smile even if she wanted too "That would be great, I'll be there" she said bumping into Olivia and giving her a playful push.

Elliot came around the corner as they did  
"Hey Elliot" Said Olivia

Ilsa smiled but looked at the ground; she opened her mouth to say something but was cut off

"I don't want to know" Elliot said in a stern voice "Whatever you get up to is your own business I don't need to know"

Ilsa smiled "So you wont tell anyone?" she asked hesitantly

Elliot smile and shrugged his shoulders  
"E-Elliot" Ilsa said "What does that mean?"

"Just means I have something over you now" he said smugly not even trying to hide his grin

"Blackmail!" Ilsa gasped cover her heart with her hand "Such an act is unbecoming of an officer" Ilsa said in a snooty voice  
"Some would say what you do is very 'unbecoming'" Elliot said as they made there way to the squad room. Ilsa couldn't really keep the smile from her face, knowing that Elliot wasn't going to say anything put her slightly at ease. Though she doubted he liked the idea of it.

"So what know?" Olivia asked as they entered the squad room seeing Fin and Munch working at there desks  
"Samantha still here?" Ilsa called out

Fin nodded

"Good just give me a second"

Samantha had been waiting and waiting for the detective to come back, she was running out of patience for the woman. She heard the door open slowly; her face broke out in a big smile as she saw Ilsa walked in with a little bundle in her arms.

"I always keep my promises" Ilsa said quietly as she walked over and placed the baby gently in Sam's arms

As soon as she left her arms she started to cry, a high pitched wail  
"Oh it's ok sweetie" Samantha cooed the little girl in her arms "what's wrong?" she asked, gently she rocked the baby, hoping the little girl would calm down, but to no avail.

"I think I have an idea" Ilsa said as she walked out of the room and grabbed her jacket before quickly running back in.

"What's this?" Sam asked eye the coat suspiciously

Ilsa chuckled "I've heard that cry a thousand times and no matter which baby it's coming from its universal"

Sam looked a little confused

"It's the 'mum I'm hungry' cry" Ilsa said with a smile, as she placed her coast over the young woman's shoulder "I think it's best to have some decorum while doing this"

Samantha smiled _'maybe this woman wasn't so bad'_ she thought as she got ready to feed her baby, grateful for the jacket that hid her.

Samantha took off her jacket and shirt and was grateful for the coat Ilsa had given her, it would have been embarrassing to do this in front of the detective and whoever else was watching through the window.

"What's her name?" Asked Ilsa, she lent up against the wall, crossing her arms over her chest and smiled  
"Rose" Sam said with a smile "Hey…how did you know she was hungry?"

Ilsa chuckled "I have a kid, plus where I work" she said motioning around the room "I deal with a lot of kids, plus I have one nephew and two nieces"

"Wow…" Sam said "You must like kids a lot…"

"Yeah I do" Ilsa said with a smile "trust me after having one of your own and helping your brother with his kids you get used to the crying" Ilsa joked.

"You have one?"

Ilsa nodded

"How old?"

Ilsa slowly blew out her breath "He's turning twelve soon"

"You're kidding right?" Samantha asked

Ilsa looked around confused "uh…" she mumbled

"You can be old enough to have a twelve year old"

"I'm 28 honey" Ilsa said "Had him when I was young"

Samantha nodded, she knew what it was like to be a young mother after all she was only 19.

Ilsa pushed herself off the wall and paced around the room at a slowly pace, not looking at the mother and her child, simply walking

"So…" Ilsa said letting the word hang in the air

Samantha watched the detective pacing, it was making her uncomfortable, she didn't know what else she could tell her, or what else she wanted to tell her.

"How long?" Ilsa asked with a raised eyebrow

"How long what?" Sam asked confused

"How long have you and Emily been a couple?" Ilsa asked stopping in front of her on the other side of the table.

Samantha's face went pale and she scoffed "A couple? You mean a couple of misfits?" she asked he voice breaking a little and her heart started to beat faster, she let out a nervous laugh.

"No I mean a couple as in 'girlfriends'"

Sam smiled, maybe she could get out of it "Yeah we're girlfriends we do everything together"

Ilsa chuckled "Your gooooood" she said smiling "Let me rephrase, how long have you two been lovers?"

Samantha scoffed "w-were not lovers" she said as her eyes darted around the room and a blush creeped up her cheeks

"Don't lie to me Sam it's better if you tell me the truth"

"That i-is the truth"

Ilsa shook her head "I know you two are in love"

Sam's face went red and she looked down, holding her baby a little tighter "H-how did you figure it out, we were always careful about who knew"

"Well the first thing" Ilsa said as she took a seat "Would be the look you get when you talk about her" Ilsa's voice was soft, kind and understanding "And we happen to have a mutual friend"

Sam looked at her as if she was crazy "mutual friend?"

Ilsa cleared her throat "Gayle Welch…"

Samantha froze in her seat and slowly raised her head to look at the detective, her eyes wide "W-what do you mean?"

Ilsa sighed "I know her and I know you and Emily go to her club sometimes"

Sam shook her head "I don't know what you're talking about"

"Yeah you do, why did you go away?"

Sam didn't make eye contact, kept looking around the room, at her baby anywhere but at the detective "I just did ok"

Ilsa groaned "come on" she said with a stern look on her face "You have got to give me more then that"

Sam raised an eyebrow

"I can't help anyone if you don't help me, it could have been your brother or you who attacked her"

Sam glared "How dare you!" she hissed through gritted teeth

Ilsa threw her hands in the air "Well then tell me the truth" calming herself down she said in a soft tone "I can't help if I don't know the truth"

Sam sighed and looked down at her baby who had since fallen asleep

"E-Emily asked me to leave for a few days, said she had to do something and it was better if I wasn't around…" Sam sounded truly hurt as she spoke

Ilsa took a deep breath "Did she tell you what she had to do?"

Sam shook her head "didn't say anything to me about what it was, just wanted me to leave"

"Is it possible that what she had to do, has something to do with why she was attacked" Ilsa asked hesitantly

Sam didn't say anything, just stared at the table in front of her and shrugged, the look on her face broke Ilsa's heart.

"If you didn't hurt her and you're damn sure your brothers didn't, who could it have been"

Again Sam shrugged "I don't know, as far as I know only a few people knew about us"

Ilsa smiled "So you two are in a relationship"

Sam shook her heads but let out a small laugh "Yes ok we are…we just had to keep it quiet…"

"Why?" Asked Ilsa

"Hello!" Sam said loudly "Look at the world we live in not a lot of people accept gay people…especially a lot of religious ones…"

Ilsa smiled and nodded "Yeah I know what you mean, so you kept it a secret…because you were scared of being judged?"

"Among other things" Sam said look away

Liiike?" Ilsa asked with a raised eyebrow

"Like her family finding out" Sam sighed "I wasn't happy about keeping it a secret but if it meant I got her I would do anything she asked" Ilsa saw Sam's lower lip quiver slightly  
"She was scared that if she told anyone…they'd all abandon her"

"Who would abandon her?"

Sam scoffed "Have you met her parents?" she asked sarcastically "They were all nice to me until I got pregnant, then word spread around the church that I practised an 'alternate life style' and I was told never to come back, everyone in my family was because they didn't leave me"

Ilsa remained silent, listening intently to the girl

"Emily is so scared about what will happen if her family find out she's gay she'd do just about anything to keep her secret"

"Was anyone sweet on Emily besides you?" Ilsa asked

"Sweet on her?"

Ilsa smiled "Did anyone want her" she clarified

"Oh…yeah a lot of guys did, hell a lot of girls to have you met Emily? She's absolutely gorgeous"

"Care to name a few?"

A scowl crossed Samantha's face "only one guy really sticks out to me…" she said with a hint of venom to her words

"Who?" asked Ilsa reached into a pocket to pull out a pen

"Asael Garcia" she spat and Ilsa's eyes opened wide  
"Really?" she asked

"Let me guess you saw him and thought he was a sweetheart...a…a gentlemen, well he's not…he's not a good person even if he looks like one I don't like him" Sam said with fire in her eyes.

"Has he ever done anything?" Ilsa asked

"He was cruel to me…after everyone found out I was pregnant, he was even worse after someone told him I was gay"

"Ok so he doesn't like gay people, doesn't mean he hurt Emily"

Sam looked at Ilsa, and Ilsa could see the anger and pain in them "Someone must have told him about us…Emily wasn't ready to come out"

Ilsa nodded slowly and felt for the young woman in front of her, Ilsa let out a soft sigh "Did anyone know about you and Emily?"

Samantha nodded slowly "My family knew, they said they were happy I found someone…"  
Ilsa looked at Sam with kind eyes "Could they have told someone?"

Sam shook her head "They wouldn't, they love her like she's already part of the family, and none of them would have said anything"

Ilsa sighed softly again and rubbing her eyes "So you think it was Asael who did it?"

Sam looked down but nodded slowly "Yes…please…" she stopped and looked up with tears in her eyes "Don't let him hurt anyone else…or hurt her anymore"

Ilsa didn't say anything, just contemplated what she had been told, at first it pointed to Samantha's brother Carl, the pipe in the alley said it was most likely him, But that Asael had done it now that was something to think about, he had seemed like a nice young man, a little strange Ilsa admitted to herself, but it was worth looking into, look at it from every angle.

Olivia was going through some folders when she saw a familiar young boy walked through the doors, a sullen look on his face. He looked around the room quickly before his eyes fell on Olivia and he smiled.

"Hi Olivia" he said as he walked over to her

"Hi Josh" Olivia said smiling back, putting her pen down she looked at her watch "What are you doing here?" she asked

Josh shrugged "Looking for mum"

Elliot looked up and smiled at Olivia "Josh" Olivia said with a smile "This is my partner detective Stabler"

"Hi" Elliot said holding out a hand to the young boy

Josh didn't move, he glanced up at Olivia and she smiled at him again, he raised an eyebrow to her _'just like his mother'_ she thought, she nodded and he smiled before reaching out to take Elliot's hand

"Hello Mister Stabler" he said  
Elliot smiled "You can call me Elliot" he said "So Ilsa is your mom?" he asked

Josh's grin got bigger and he nodded his head "Yup"

"So what's it like having her as a mom?" he asked

"She's the best mum ever" he said and Elliot and Olivia laughed

"Really?" Elliot asked

Olivia shook her head as she realised what Elliot was doing, trying to find out what Ilsa was like through her kid.

"Well…" Josh said turning his gaze from the man in front of him to his feet

"What?" Asked Elliot leaning closer

"She makes me eat all my vegetables even though I don't wanna and go to bed early"

Olivia snickered at the young boy

"She never does anything mean?" he asked

Josh shook his head "Nope, she sometimes say's silly things and does even sillier things but she's still the best mum"

"Well that's good to know" Elliot said with a smile

"She and my dad sometimes fight…" Josh said softly

Olivia leaned down "About what?" she asked looking at Elliot

Josh shrugged "I don't know, I've only heard em a couple of times but I never hear what they say…"

"What usually happens?" Elliot asked

Josh shrugged again "I don't know what they say, but sometimes mum's crying, she never tells me why, when I asked she said I was to young to know"

Elliot gave his partner a quizzical look "Do they hit you"

Josh look mortified at being asked things "No!" he said loudly "Nothing like that, they just say things, sometimes yell at each other but never at me…Mum always say's sorry when they finish" he paused and smiled "I asked her once why they did it and she said that it was about something that happened before I was born and I shouldn't worry because they still love me"

"Do they argue a lot?" Asked Olivia  
Josh shrugged "I've only seen em do it twice like that"

"Like that? what do you mean?"

"They argue about a lot of things, it's funny sometimes, about food, stuff on TV, books, they have different views on stuff"

"Why is it funny?" Asked Elliot

"Cause they don't mean it, it's not a real fight and they always make up after" Josh said, confused as to why this man was asking so many questions

"Can I go now, I need to get Rose home" the young woman said softly, seeing that Ilsa was deep in thought

Ilsa shook her head brining herself back to the real world "Uh…Yeah, I'll call if I can think of anything else" she said with her soft smile.

Ilsa rose from her seat and walked to Samantha holding out a hand and helping up from the chair, taking her jacket back she threw it on and walked the other woman to the door and opened it.

Samantha chuckled as she walked into the squad room.

"What's so funny?" Ilsa asked with a raised eyebrow  
'you" She said bluntly "And people say chivalry is dead" she said with a smirk

Ilsa smiled and shook her head

"You're are such gentleman" Sam teased the detective

"Yeah yeah" Ilsa said still smiling "Get out of here before I change my mind" she winked as she watched a Samantha walk away with her baby, thoughts of her, her brother and Asael clouded her thoughts, her mind was wondering over the new things she had been told, Ilsa knew she would have to talk to Sam again.

Ilsa spotted the familiar figure of her son talking to her friends

"Hey you" she said with a big grin and Josh turned and ran into her, Ilsa laughed and wrapped her arms around him.

"What are you doing here? She asked running a hand through his short light brown hair

Josh shrugged "Dad dropped me off" he said wondering over to her desk and plopping in her chair, he spun around a few times before Ilsa stopped him

"Why did your dad drop you off here?" she asked, hands on her hips, and a look on her face that lets Josh know he better answer with the truth.

Elliot looked as Olivia and smiled; they got back to work but continued to listen to their friend.

Josh sat fidgeting with his hands, looking everywhere but at his mother "So how was your day mum" he asked without looking up

Ilsa scoffed playfully "Oh no" she said in her trademark Aussie accent "Your not going to get out of this tell me why you're here"

He looked down, a sad look across his face "Dad said you'd want to talk to me…" he said softly, hoping she didn't hear and would leave him alone.

"Talk to you about what honey?" she asked in a kind and calm voice

Josh looked up "i…" he paused and considered how to tell his mother "I got in trouble at school…"

"That's it?" Ilsa asked, she was thinking something big might have happened "What did you do?" she asked

"Why do you assume it's something I did?" he asked, a look of mock shock on his face which made Ilsa chuckle. She got down on her knees, it hurt but she didn't let it show

"Come on" She said with a smile and kind eyes "Tell me what happened"

"I got into a fight with a boy today…"

Ilsa bit her lips to keep herself from laughing "And your dad thinks you should be punished right?" she asked

Josh nodded "he's so unfair like that" he pouted

"What makes you think I feel any different?" Ilsa asked with a grin

Josh's mouth dropped open "b-bu-but you cant!" he said loudly, Elliot and Olivia turned their attention to the scene at Ilsa's desk

"Well why not honey?" Ilsa asked "IF you fight with someone you should be punished"

Josh crossed his arms and scowled  
"Unless…" Ilsa said rubbing her hand along her chin "You had a reason to do it"

Ilsa noticed her son cheeks go slightly pink at what she said and knew there was more then he was telling her.  
"A girl" he said "He was picking on a girl"

Ilsa smiled and stood up "So you decided you had to defend her honour!" she said loudly with mirth in her voice.  
"Yes!" Josh said "You're not supposed to pick on girls"

Ilsa smiled _'I've raised him well' _she mused "So you were defending" Ilsa couldn't stop herself from stirring her son a little "I'm sorry, this girl…is she your girlfriend?"

Josh went bright pink and his eyes widened "No!" he said quickly "She's j-just a friend"

Ilsa took a deep breath "So you beat up a boy…because he was picking on a girl, who is your friend" Ilsa summarised "I think…" she said

Josh looked up happily hoping his mother was going to say he wouldn't be punished

"You s should still be punished"

His jaw dropped "You're kidding right?" he asked but knew by the look on his mothers face she was dead serious.

"I get why you did it Josh I do" she said kneeling in front of him again "But it's still wrong to beat people up" she sighed "If I were you I would have done the same thing"

"I know that's why I did it I thought _'what would mum do'_" he said with a cheeky smile

Ilsa tried to hide her smiled but failed and let out a soft laugh

"Can I come home with you tonight?" he asked

"Are you just asking so your dad won't punish you?"

Josh nodded "yes" he muttered sheepishly

"It's your dad's night with you, don't you want to go and do…guy stuff" Ilsa asked

Josh sighed

"Honey" Ilsa said putting her hand on his head "You're going to be punished no matter where you are tonight"

A look of utter defeat crossed his face

"Ok I'll go to dads" he said with a sad smile

"You know Sam might just send you to your room…" Ilsa said with a smile "To think about what you've done and what not…" Ilsa walked over to the small locker in the squad room and grabbed something out of it, Josh looked at his mum like she was crazy, which if anyone asked he would say she was.

Elliot and Olivia followed her too, wondering what she was doing.

Ilsa came back with a brown bag "But if you slip this in your bag... he probably won't check there and it wouldnt be so bad being stuck in your room..."

She handed him the bag and he opened it, eyes instantly brighter "Coool!" he exclaimed loudly

"I was wondering when to give em to you and then I kind of forgot" she said with a smile, Josh jumped from the chair and hugged her

"Thanks mum!" he said going through the bag and pulling out a comic book

Ilsa chuckled "And I'll talk to Sam, see if I can get him to forgo punishment for this"

Josh looked much happier now

"But you can't go around beating people up ok" Ilsa warned and Josh nodded quickly

"Ok" she sighed "give me a minute and I'll take you home" Ilsa left and walked into the Captains office.

Olivia chuckled at the way Ilsa handled the situation, her son beats up someone and she gives him comic books, then again she couldn't say what she would do if it were her kid. Josh looked at Olivia and held up the comic in his hands. Olivia smiled at him, he really was a nice young boy, every time she saw him she couldn't stop thinking about how much like his mother he looked, acted heck even reacted, from what she had heard she could see Ilsa beating someone up to _'defend their honour' _and she chuckled at the thought.

Josh went back to looking through his bag and pulled a face, Olivia and Elliot watched him

"What's this?" he asked no one in particular as he pulled out a smaller book.

Ilsa walked out of the door and saw her son, moving quickly before he looked at the pages

"That's mine" Ilsa said and quickly pulled it from his grasp "Not for young eyes" she said with a raised brow and Josh took this as a sigh he should never touch the book, not matter what.

Ilsa grabbed her keys and smiled "I'll take you home know honey" she said and Josh threw the brown paper bag into his school bag and rushed up to her.

John and Fin walked back in after having talked to Carl and finding out absolutely nothing and getting some much needed food, and saw the pair

"Who's this?" asked Fin

Ilsa put on a smile and sighed "Josh, this is Odafin Tutuola and John Munch" she said motioning to the men, Josh waved shyly

"Fin, Munch" Ilsa said taking a deep breath "This is my son Josh"

Fin and Munch didn't say anything just started at the young boy

"And I'd love to stay and chat and tell you the whole story" she said ushering Josh through the door "But I gotta take him home and make very important stop"

"She just got more interesting" Said Munch as soon as he was sure Ilsa was gone  
"You're telling me" Said Fin shaking his head

**Like i said it's late but there we go, It might seem a bit long but i actually had a whole another part i was going to put it but it would have made it too long :P hope you still enjoy it, next chapter coming soon, i hope everyone reading likes this, cause i got more coming. Please Read and Review, Until next time, BYE!  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Ok I'm back in the game and i am so sorry, had alot on my plate, and one of my best friends is leaving and I'm in a pretty down mood. Anyway I had nothing else to do and i decided to sit up late into the morning to finish this, i hope you like it and the next chapter shouldn't take too long, already got part of it done now.**

Olivia was sitting at a table with her friends, Casey, Melinda and Abbie, there were talking and laughing, but she kept glancing at her watch, wondering where Ilsa was, she hadn't seen her since she left the squad room with her son, and that had been a few hours ago.

"Maybe she isn't coming" Said Melinda across from Olivia

Olivia let out a soft sigh "maybe we should just order"

"Gee you couldn't even wait a few minutes for me, thanks mate"

Olivia turned to see Ilsa standing with a smile on her face, she moved to take a seat next to Olivia

"Your late" Said Casey in a flat tone, she wasn't to happy to be talking to Ilsa

Ilsa smiled at her "Yeah well I got caught up at the doctors"

Olivia quickly looked at her friend "Doctors?"

Ilsa nodded "yeah I had to wait a little longer"

"A lot of people?" Asked Abbie

"Nah" Ilsa said shaking her head "I wanted a female Doctor"

"So what did they say?" Asked Melinda

"Nothing is broken, I'm lucky, same old same old"

"What happened?" Asked Casey, taking a sip from a glass of water

"Nothing serious, just got hit by a car"

Casey had to try hard not to choke on the water "Nothing serious?" she asked

"Yeah I'm fine, nothing is broken so it's all good" Ilsa said with a grin

No one said anything, just looking at each other, this was she second time they had all been out like this, Casey was doing everything she could to avoid Ilsa. A waiter came around to take their orders and returned a few minutes later with their took a drink of wine and smiled "So how ya been Tex?" she asked Abbie

Abbie smiled "Good, won my case today"

Ilsa beamed a smile "That's great news"

"Yeah and all Ilsa did today was get hit by a car, let some embarrassing secrets out and get no where on her case" Olivia said

Ilsa looked shock as her mouth dropped open; she gave Olivia a playful shove

"Secrets?" Asked Abbie "Oh do tell"

Ilsa was quick and pointed at Olivia "You tell and no one will ever find your body"

Olivia laughed "Well…" she started and saw Ilsa close her eyes "I guess I'll keep my mouth shut"

"Aw come on Benson" Said Abbie leaning closer "You can't just start like that and not finish, spill"

Olivia smiled, Ilsa tried not to but it wasn't working, the grin was forming.

"It's all right Ilsa I wont tell, this just means they'll try fine out another way" Olivia receiving a playful smack from Ilsa.

"Oh come on" Abbie whined

"Hey you" a voice called from behind them, stopping any further probing as to what the secret was.

Ilsa looked around then lent back in the chair and tilted her head seeing the familiar silver hair of her brother behind her "Oh hey" she said before shifting in her seat, he walked closer and kissed the top of her head "I saw you over here and thought I'd come say hello"

Ilsa snorted "Damn right you'd better come over" Lewis let out a soft chuckle

"And I have to thank you" he said placing a hand on Ilsa's shoulder, the others just looked on

"Again damn right…thank me for what?" she asked looking confused

Lewis laughed at his younger sister "Thank you for telling me to come out tonight"

Ilsa smiled "No thanks needed, you'd have thought of something if I didn't suggest it"

"True but tonight is a night of celebration" he said

"Oh my god" Ilsa face lit up with a bright smile "You got the job?"

Lewis nodded and puffed out his chest "You are looking at the newest member of the FDNY" he stated proudly Ilsa jumped out of her chair and wrapped her arms around him "I'm so happy for you" she said with a big smile

"Congratulations" Said Liv from her seat, Lewis nodded at her and smiled

"How's she taking it?" Ilsa asked as she sat down again

Lewis shrugged "She's doing ok"

"So tonight is about celebrating you new job and your happy family"

Lewis smiled and nodded again "And there may be more celebrating later on…" he murmured quietly.

No one but Ilsa heard and her eyes widened "Oh really? Maybe I should go over and say hello" she scanned the room for Lewis's wife, she caught her, looking lovely as she waited for her husband to come back over so the could continue their evening, Ilsa waved and was happy she got a wave back.

"No" Lewis said quickly "It was nice of you to suggest I take her out but you are not messing this night up for me"

"You?" she asked

"Us" he said quickly

Ilsa laughed "So kids are out?" she asked knowing the answer

Lewis went a little pink in the face at his sister's questions "Yes as a matter of fact they are"

"You know maybe I should go say hey, I could always spoil the mood"

"You wouldn't" he said knowing full well Ilsa would do it

"Hey" she said with a big grin "It is my privilege nay, my duty to make sure you don't get any" she took a drink and continues "I admit I have failed in the past as you have three wonderful to children to show for it"

Lewis shook his head "Come on I'm trying to thank you"

Ilsa smiled "I just don't know why you came to me and asked what you should do for your wife" Ilsa pointed to herself "Me: The woman who can't keep a relationship"

"Because you know woman better than I do"

Ilsa smiled and nodded "true true, glad to know you admit it"

"Anyway I think introductions are in order" he said realising he didn't know the other woman at the table apart from nodded at her "Olivia always a pleasure"

"Ok this lovely woman" Ilsa said point to the ME "Is the fantastic Dr Melinda Warner"

Lewis walked up and shook her hand "Pleasure to meet you" he said "So Ilsa comes to see you when she need a doctor?" he asked

Ilsa and Melinda laughed "She's the ME honey, I hope I don't have her look at me anytime soon" Ilsa joked before continuing "This" she said pointing to Casey and smiling "Is the great Casey Novak and over here" a point to Abbie "Is Abbie Carmichael, there both ADA's"

Lewis blinked between the two women and put his hand to his chest "Well be still my beating heart" he said with a straight face "Were is the fire from the sky and the horsemen" he said looking around the room

Ilsa shook her head "Shut up you tool" she said hiding her smile

Abbie and Casey shot a nervous look at the man "I never thought I'd see the day my sister could have a civilised meal with lawyers" he said moving to shake their hands

"And this…_'charming_' man is my older brother Lewis"

Casey smiled "Nice to meet you, Ilsa didn't do you justice when she described you" _'he seems nice' _she thought

Abbie did the same "Your sister is a freak" she said with a cheeky smile

Lewis nodded his agreement "You got it lucky, I had to live with her"

Everyone laughed except Ilsa, who just bit her bottom lip to keep quiet and pouted

"And I don't hate lawyers" she stated to her brother

He raised an eyebrow and gave her a _'come on' _look "You always said you hate them, had so many colourful names for them"

Ilsa shook her head "I strongly disliked them once but I have changed" she said

"Yeah I'd change my mind to if I met two beautiful woman like you" he said with a nod in Casey and Abby's direction making the two women blush slightly.

"What?" asked Ilsa

"Only you would be lucky enough to be surrounded by four beautiful women and not give a damn"

Ilsa laughed and watched as each woman smiled

"Oh I've noticed" She said and gave a wink "I'm just smart enough to keep it in my pants" a sly smiled spread across her face "For now" she stated nonchalantly

Lewis laughed and gave her one last kiss on the top of her head "I'll see you later ok" he said before walking off

"You've noticed?" Asked Melinda with raised eyebrow, Ilsa smiled "Yes I have, and I won't deny that I think you are all very beautiful women"

"At least she's honest" Abbie quipped

"Honesty is important and if you don't take my word for it, look around you" Ilsa said rolling her eyes "Half the men in here can't keep there eyes of you, heck some of the women two"

"And your one of them?" Casey asked in a flat tone, if Ilsa were bothered by it she didn't let on, she just smiled her same crooked smile "I'm a fan of beauty in all it's forms" Ilsa stated.

Their Meals came and went, Melinda looked at Ilsa with a smile "So did any of that food touch your tongue or did it just slide down your throat?"

Ilsa laughed and shook her head "Nope i'm like a crocodile i don't need to chew"

"Anyone for dessert?" Olivia offered

Melinda, Casey and Abbie smiled and nodded, all muttering yes, or something along those lines. Ilsa shook her head "No thanks i'm good"

Olivia raised an eyebrow

"Contrary to your beliefs that i am a stomach with legs and never get full, there are times, though few and far between when i don't need to eat anything" Ilsa said wiping her face with a napkin "You ladies enjoy though"

"Your brother seems really nice" Melinda said after a mouth full of cake

Ilsa smiled "Yeah he is a very sweet, sweet man"

"If he's anything like you i doubt it" Casey shot from her seat

Ilsa head the tone of voice, and knew that she had meant what she said rather then show that the comment hurt Ilsa put on a smile and chuckled "No he's not like me, i'm fun" she joked

"Yeah fun..." Casey snorted, The awkwardness of the situation rose and everyone could feel it though no one said anything

"No he's apparently every woman's dream man"

"How so?" Melinda asked pushing her empty plate to the middle of the table

"Well..." Ilsa stared into space rubbing her chin, pretending to think "He listens and isn't afraid to show how he feels, he loves his kids and didn't freak out when he got told he was going to be a daddy, he does girly things like shopping, he doesn't like it he just does it because he wants to make his girl happy and he would do anything for anyone, kind and funny are just a few of his qualities"

"Not to mention he's cute" Abbie added "Even for a guy with grey hair"

Ilsa laughed "He's only 36 he just started going grey early, he likes it and doesn't bother dying it and for him being cute I just don't see it"

"Oh but he is, he's a fire-fighter right?" she asked looking across the room at Lewis

Ilsa bit her bottom lip to stop laughing "So you uh...want to have a play with his hose and hope he can put out your fire?"

Olivia coughed on her drink trying not to choke and Melinda couldn't stop the laugh, Abbie turned her head to Ilsa and saw her big grin, Casey remained quiet

Abbie was trying hard not to smile "That was not funny" she deadpanned

Ilsa just nodded and smiled "You know it was sweetie, but if you like i can ask him to autograph a calendar"

"Will he be shirtless?" Abbie smirked

Ilsa pulled a face "Ew you nasty!"

After sharing a laugh, the women decided to call it a night. Leaving the restaurant Ilsa waited for Olivia and Abbie to catch a cab, Melinda's husband came to get her, so that just left '_Casey'_ Ilsa thought with a sigh _'The girl hates me'_

Casey put her jacket on and grabbed her umbrella, she hoped it wouldn't rain but the sky above was heavy and dark and when the thunder rolled you could feel it beat in your chest.

"You need a ride?" Ilsa asked almost shyly, not looking up into Casey's face

"No" Casey responded, her tone flat and she started to walk in the direction of her apartment

Ilsa ran to catch up to her "Come on at least let me give you a ride home"

Casey kept looking forward

"I'll pay for a taxi" Ilsa practically whined as she tried to keep up with the ADA's steps

"I'm fine Ilsa just leave me alone"

"You know as well as i do walking home alone at night isn't safe"

Casey stayed silent and just kept moving _'Why wont she just go home' _

Ilsa slowly fell into stride with the taller woman, shoving her hands into her pockets to keep them warm _'Fine! if she won't take my offer then I'll walk her home anyway'_

"Look just go back to your car" Casey said as she waited for a car to pass before crossing the road.

"IF you won't let me drive you home the I'll walk you"

"How gentlemanly of you" she snapped

Ilsa just hung her head and followed Casey on her way home.

There were a few men walking around, as soon as Ilsa saw them she took a step closer to Casey ad just glared as they passed, The look alone was enough to tell them 'Try anything and you'll be the ones needing a doctor'

Casey smiled, but quickly got rid of it, she was meant to be mad at Ilsa, but she couldn't help but smile when she noticed Ilsa step closer the second she thought someone might hurt her.

The walk was long but hardly quiet, although neither woman said anything the sky clapped with thunder, another deep roll before Ilsa felt the first droplets of water

'_hm a light shower'_ she thought, those thought were not long lived as the rain started to pour down heavily. Within seconds she was soaked to the bone, but she still kept moving, not to close to Casey, she knew she was pissed and was trying everything she could not to make it worse, even if she had to get a little wet.

Finally they arrived to Casey's apartment, Ilsa hugged herself as she waited for Casey to get inside.

Casey slid her key into the door and looked at Ilsa, she could see the woman shaking, she sighed, she couldn't just let her walk back out into the rain."Your soaked" Casey stated

Ilsa smiled "A little water never hurt anyone" she said as she turned to leave

"Come inside" Casey called after her "You'll freeze to death if you don't"

Ilsa wanted to say 'no' that she would be fine, but she couldn't, she just nodded and followed Casey inside

"Take your clothes off"

"What?" Ilsa's voice cracked as she turned to look at the ADA who was blushing slightly

"I-I mean get out of your wet clothes, you can take a shower and I'll give you something to wear"

Ilsa smiled "Casey you don't-"

"I'm not letting you go back out while it's still raining, you can stay till it lets up, and i will not have you tracking water all though my place so just do it" She said in her 'lawyer' tone

Ilsa nodded and Casey showed her to the bathroom, she left her some clothes to wear and left Ilsa alone.

Casey sighed as she changed _'what am I doing?' _putting on some lose pants and an old shirt '_as if things aren't awkward enough between us' _Casey threw a pillow over her face and groaned, then an idea struck, if Ilsa was stuck here until the rain passed maybe she could get some answers from the strange woman.

Casey poured herself a glass of wine and sat on the couch, she heard the water stop running and took a long drink.

Ilsa walked out, her hair still damp from the shower, but she felt much better, didn't feel like her bones were frozen. She left her clothes in a pile in the bathroom, not knowing what else to do, she was wearing some grey yoga pants Casey had left for her, and a short sleeved pink shirt.

Casey looked up and saw Ilsa, some of her damp hair hanging in front of her face"whoa" she muttered as she noticed the swirling black ink of Ilsa's arm.

Ilsa rubbed it self-consciously and looked away biting her lip, people seeing it and walking away muttering under their breaths she could handle, someone staring at it because they either liked it or just wanted better look, not so much. The thought of someone looking so intently at her scared Ilsa

"I...uh didn't know you hand another one" Casey said

Ilsa smiled "Kind of hard to see if when I have my shirt on"

"Is that why you were long sleeves?" Casey asked, trying to make some sort of convocation, if she slowly approached the topic maybe Ilsa wouldn't freak out.

"It's for everyone elses protection believe me" Ilsa chuckled nervously as she sat down on the far end of Casey's couch, trying to take up as little room as possible. She hung her head as she sat, not looking at Casey.

"Would you like a drink?" Casey offered, she was expecting a response but what she got was not the one she was expecting, at least not right now.

"Casey I'm sorry!" Ilsa blurted out, closing her eyes.

She blinked, wondering if the woman on the other end of her couch had just said that or if she was hearing things

"What?" she asked

"I-I said i'm sorry" Ilsa murmured "About everything" her throat was tight as she tried to speak

Casey couldn't say anything, she hadn't expected the young Australian woman to apologise so easily.

"I-I really didn't mean anything by it, it was inappropriate and I hope I didn't ruin everything" Ilsa was trying not to get to emotional, but the guilt was piling up, she had ruined a good friendship because of the way she had acted and she couldn't live with herself if she didn't attempt to reconcile.

"Ilsa...why did you act the way you did? Why didn't you just say stop?" Casey asked, desperately wanting an answer

Ilsa chuckled mirthlessly "That's a long answer" she sated "For one I'm not used to people wanting to uh...'be' with me, and having a beautiful woman push you against a door in a drunken haze of passion is something that never happens to me"

Casey wanted to say something, but decided to wait until Ilsa was done."I shouldn't have flirted with you all night, I was just being funny, I honestly didn't mean anything by it"

"What do you mean 'you didn't mean anything'?"

"Casey" Ilsa mumbled softly turning to look at her "I can't flirt with people, if I'm joking or being playful yes, but I cant really do it, I get tongue if I try to really flirt with a woman"

"A-and I don't know if just go out of hand! And the next thing I know you've got me against the door, and I know we shouldn't b-but I-it"

"It what?"

"I don't know, I just didn't want to stop it, and next thing I'm on your bed and your pulling at my clothes and you whispered to me...do you remember what you said?"

Casey shook her head

"You said it'll be our little secret, and I have so many and a lot of those just came rushing back and it was overwhelming and you were drunk and I knew it was wrong" Ilsa's chest felt like it was tightening, as she spoke she realised what she had done, it was her fault the whole thing say Casey was confused would be an understatement."I'm sorry, and I really hope we can still be friends…but if you don't want to I understand"

"What did you mean when you said you had to keep secrets? And since when do you accept 'I was drunk' as an excuse for anything?" Casey asked

Ilsa tensed _'here it comes' _she thought sadly '_maybe I wont have to tell her everything'_

She cleared her throat, which had long since gone dry "M-My father hurt me and my mother…"

Casey's jaw dropped and she couldn't think of a single word to say, all her linguistic skills had gone out the window

"I know the only reason you kissed me that night and tried to fu-…have sex with me was because you were drunk, there is no other explanation"

'_Did she ever think that maybe I am attracted to her? I mean I'm not gay but she's a nice enough woman….at least…I don't think I'm gay'_

"My father used to drink, and he" Ilsa cringed as she remembered the terrible things done to her, the beating weren't even the worst, she could live with those, it was what happened when no one else was in the room…  
"He'd hurt me, and later he'd apologise saying things like 'you know I love you' or 'I was drunk I didn't mean it' it wasn't always bad sometimes he was to drunk to do anything, other times it made him angrier and it hurt more" There was a long pause as Casey sat quietly taking it all in, and Ilsa tried to muster any remaining courage to finish most of her story.

"I started thinking, if he knew he'd get like that if he drank why did he drink so much? why didn't he have a few, or just stop all together. Not like it would have made a difference" Ilsa spat and Casey could see the hate in her eyes "The bastard would do it sober too, I think the alcohol just made a better excuse then 'I just felt like beating my wife and kid', and after he was done he'd tell me I" Ilsa paused and took a deep breath

Casey leaned closer and put a hand softly on her shoulder "What did he say?" she asked softly

"He'd tell me it had to be our little secret, everything he did had to be a secret" Ilsa closed her eyes in an attempt to stop the tears falling

"I realised after you had me against the door that 'I'm drunk' can be an excuse, but it doesn't excuse everything"

Casey sat wide eyed and had tears of her own after hearing her friends heartfelt confession, she really didn't have any idea that this was the reason Ilsa had flipped out on her."Ilsa I am so sorry" Casey said softly

Ilsa just shook her head "It's not your fault, you had a little to much to drink and weren't thinking right, I figured it was the only reason a beautiful woman would have me against her door and I didn't mean to freak you out or piss you off, when you said we could keep it a secret…I just got scared, nothing good ever followed those words"

Ilsa turned and looked at Casey who looked shocked, the silence was deafening_ 'Just say something' _Ilsa thought _'Anything! say you hate me! say you never want to see me again just please don't be quiet' _Ilsa shook her head '_idiot she cant hear you if you don't say it out loud'_

"Casey…please say something…"

**A/N Ok next chapter underway, and if you can take the time to read it please review, i promise not to leave again wihtout giving word :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N So my friend called me the day she left to le me know she's safe and that she misses me, i felt like crying because i was happy she was doing ok, and that out of everyone she could have called she called me first. So I've gotten move inspiration, i blame the fact i watched 3 seasons of L&O:SVU in a row, anyway here it is and i hope you enjoy :)**

"_Casey…please say something…" _

Casey blinked and tried to get her gather her thoughts, She had just learnt why Ilsa has reacted the way she did, why Ilsa always seemed so defensive, and what she couldn't quite get was why she was telling her all of this.

"So…" Casey said slowly, looking into Ilsa's eyes, tears threatening to spill out, her lips curved into a light smile "You think I'm beautiful huh?" she said

Ilsa scoffed, though a grin had made it's way across her face "I say all that" she said turning and looking at the woman across from her "And that's all you retain?"Casey shrugged her shoulders and Ilsa sat there in the silence after that, Ilsa didn't really want to say anymore, brining up those memories were draining. Casey wasn't quite sure what to say, it was a lot to take Ilsa broke the silence "Thank you"

"For what?" Casey questioned

"For not telling me to leave, for still talking to me" Ilsa muttered

"Why wouldn't I talk to you? Hearing all this doesn't change anything, just explains somethings"

"I don't tell a lot of people that story, and I don't know why I told you, I just feel… comfortable enough to talk to you, I don't have a lot of people I can talk to, but I'd like to think your one of them" Ilsa said softly as she played with her fingers, not daring to look back up at Casey"…I hope we can still be friends"

Casey sighed "Of course we can"

The young attorney couldn't stop the smile that moved across her lips as she saw the detectives face light up.

It was quiet again after that, until Casey remembered something that had been said at dinner

"Did you really get hit by a car?" she asked

Ilsa smiled sheepishly "Yes, but I'm fine, doctors said so"

"That's why you were late to dinner tonight?"

Ilsa leaned back into the couch "Partly, I had an important stop to make"

"Something more important then going the hospital?" Casey chuckled

"I went to see my mum" Ilsa said softly

"But I thought you said she was-"

Ilsa cut Casey off "She is, I went by her grave and put some flowers there, I do it every week, and I-"

"You what?" Casey asked leaning closer and giving Ilsa a little nudge "Come on, you what?""You'll think I'm crazy"

"Come on, were friends you can tell me"

Ilsa looked into her friends eyes _'maybe I can trust her' _she thought "I needed someone to talk to, and I didn't know who else to see"

Casey didn't say anything, not that she had a chance before Ilsa started talking again

"I'm not crazy Casey, I know she's gone, I just sometimes really need to talk to someone and I know she's watching over me"

Reaching over and placing a hand on Ilsa's shoulder Casey smiled "I don't think your crazy, but tell me, d-did she answer you?"

Ilsa chuckled softly "In her own way I think she did, I guess I just needed some advice and I didn't know who else to talk to and I like to think she can hear me, that as long as I think about her she's still with me"

Casey could see the tears in her friend's eyes "Can I ask how she died?"

Ilsa made a soft scoffing noise but nodded "She was shot, we were uh…sitting at home and I was playing with a little toy car she had bought me, she was on the phone to someone I don't know who, it was a nice night and I was actually happy" Ilsa took a deep breath

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to Ilsa"

She just smiled and continued her story "A man came into the house, the police called it a 'robbery gone wrong' and the man who did it never got arrested, he shot her in the chest and" she scoffed, hoping to keep her tears back "It's all surreal, I was there but I wasn't type thing, and I remember screaming and holding her, crying and watching as he walked away, he sneered and said "It's out secret if I told anyone he'd kill me to" he left and I called 911, I held my mother as she lay dying and I…" she chocked on a sob

"That's when I made my first hollow promise and I hated it"

Casey was trying not to cry now "W-what's a hollow promise?" she asked, happy her voice was working

"I made a promise I couldn't keep, I told her everything would be ok, that she would be ok" Ilsa's eye were hollow and she seemed to just be on auto-pilot, telling the story but trying not to remember

"I don't know when she died but she did and it broke me pretty bad, I cried and cried and i begged the doctors to save her, I told them I'd do anything…but there wasn't anything they could do she was as good as dead the second the bullet went through her"

A tear slid down Ilsa's cheek but she didn't wipe it away "I hated myself…because I blamed her I thought if she loved me she'd still be here, I know it's not true but I was so upset, I took her necklace or rather she gave it to me" she said pulling on the pendent that hung around her neck "And I've never taken it off since then, it's how I keep her close"

Casey slid closer on the couch her wine since forgotten and she gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze "I am so sorry" she said, her voice tight

Ilsa smiled sadly "Don't be, but can we please change the topic, I can only talk so much about this before I'm drained and I could tell you more but I'm pretty much at my limit for tender topics"

Casey nodded, but couldn't think of what else to ask

"Can I have a drink?" Ilsa asked

Casey didn't reply just left to get her a glass of water, when she came back Ilsa was still staring off into space, and Casey watched for a second and looked at the sorrow on her face, the red eyes cause by trying to hold back tears, and the quivering bottom lip. She could see Ilsa didn't want to talk about these things anymore, so Casey decided to change the topic.

"So what were your collage years like?" she asked with a smile, Ilsa just laughed happy Casey wasn't going to push her, happy she had told Casey and she hadn't been kicked out or judged "They were crazy" said Ilsa taking the cup from Casey's hand

"Like Crazy how?"

"Like Crazy parties, lots of booze, late nights, crazy sex, waking up with tattoos and piercings you don't remember getting" you know the normal collage experience" smiled Ilsa

Casey's jaw dropped _'My collage days weren't like that'_ she closed her mouth when she heard Ilsa laughing.

"You're joking right?" she asked

Ilsa nodded with a cheeky smile "It wasn't like that, I didn't go to many parties while I was in collage, and didn't drink a whole lot either"

"Oh but the crazy sex is true?"

"Yeah I'm not exactly lying about the sex part I met some really nice people in collage"

Casey didn't answer, she met her ex-fiancé in collage after all

"Ok so maybe crazy sex isn't the right term, I had a couple of relationships but they didn't last"

"What happened? Were you to crazy for them?"

Ilsa laughed "It was a mutual break, I couldn't be with them when I wasn't being entirely honest with them, we weren't ready to do that so we stopped dating, but were still good friends"

"So um…was it a guy or a girl?" Casey asked shyly

"Still pondering on my sexuality are we counsellor?" Ilsa smirked "Ok I'll stop torturing you, although I don't why you need to know" she sighed and looked at Casey "I'm gay have been for a long time"

Casey smiled and gave Ilsa a playful shove "See? Was that so hard"

"You want to be friends with a lesbian?" Ilsa asked in all seriousness

Casey was little shocked that Ilsa had to ask, she had just spilled things about her past and Casey hadn't left her for that, being gay wasn't something that bothered "O-of course I still want to be your friend, why would you think I didn't"

"I've been called a lot of things and some people I know, or rather knew, stopped talking to me when they found out I prefer the female persuasion"

'_That's horrible'_ "Well I'm not like that Ilsa, I don't care that your gay I still like you"

Ilsa smiled and they just sat in the quiet for a few minutes, neither wanting to say anything right now.

"So what about your collage years? ever do anything crazy"

Casey shook her head "Not really, I was working a lot so that I could pay for law school"

"Aw come on Casey, I worked too but I still had fun at least once"

"Well yeah I had fun you know parties and what not I just don't think they were as _wild _as yours…how many tattoos do you have?" she asked confused"I've got three all up and four piercings now I used to have more"

Casey sat still looking confused

Ilsa smiled "OK I've got the tattoo on my hand, one of my leg which is of the southern cross to remind me of home and the one on my arm"

"And the piercings?"

"I've got four, my ears" she said moving some hair to show Casey "MY tongue" Poking her tongue out "And…" she paused and started to blush "Another one I'd rather not discuss"

"You tell me about everything else but no the last one, where is it" Ilsa shook her head but Casey pushed "Please I wont tell"

Ilsa took a deep breath "Lower on my body, in a place I can't show you…with out being sued for indecent exposure"

Casey stated at her, confused, then it clicked "Oh…..OH…you have between your…oh" she was blushing

"Yeah, 'Oh', I don't tell a lot of people about that one, consider yourself special Novak"

"Oh I do" Casey teased

"So did you ever meet anyone in collage?" Ilsa asked after getting herself a glass of wine, she wanted to change the topic quickly

Casey looked down "Uh, yeah I did"

"Oh was it a she or a he" teased Ilsa

"It was a guy, im not gay, he was really sweet, his name was Charlie"

"You're not gay?" Ilsa asked, she could see it was a tender topic and didn't want to make Casey uncomfortable "Then I really feel special about you trying to have your wicked way with me"

Casey groaned and covered her face "Are you ever going to let me live that down!" she pouted

"Nope" Ilsa said with a smug grin, leaning closer she whispered "But I'll only tease you about it in private, it that makes you feel better"

Casey threw a small pillow at Ilsa's face _'I'm not gay, I just like Ilsa as a friend, a good annoying friend'_

"That is abuse of an officer Casey and I could arrest you for that"

"Any excuse to use your cuffs huh?" Casey quipped

Ilsa's jaw dropped "Well well seems like you've got a naughty side counsellor"

Casey chuckled as she settled back into her couch, it was turning out to be a good night after all, Ilsa seemed to be having a good time, apart from her spilling her guts about her father, Casey couldn't help but be happy that Ilsa trusted her enough with her secrets. She wasn't going to fool herself into thinking those were all the secrets Ilsa had, it was kind of obvious she had more

Ilsa for her part couldn't stop smiling, it was going great, Casey hadn't seemed disgusted or upset or judgemental and Ilsa couldn't find the words to describe how happy that made her. "So Casey do you have a boyfriend or some kind of other person if your life?"

Casey laughed "Are you just asking so you can make a move on me detective?"

Ilsa cocked an eyebrow "I'll make a move on you either way I just feel better if I'm not taking you away from someone else"

"You are incorrigible Ilsa"

"Only when it comes to you" Ilsa declared covering her heart and giving what she thought was a charming smiling, all she managed was getting a light smack in the arm from a laughing ADA, but it was good enough

"Well if you must know, there is a guy who seems nice and he asked me out"

"OOOooo do I know this man? and if not when can I met the chap" Ilsa smiled

"You dont get to meet him, I wouldn't want to scare him off"

This didn't deter Ilsa "Well as your friend I feel it is my duty to see if this guy is good enough for you to see"

Casey scoffed "You are not getting anywhere near him Ilsa so don't even think about it"

Ilsa pouted, but it didn't have an effect on Casey or at least not the one she was hoping for, it just caused her to laugh again."You know Novak I am starting to feel a little insulted by the fact you keep laughing at my face"

"What can I say Ilsa" Casey said reaching over and cupping Ilsa's cheek "You have an incredibly funny face"

It was getting late, and the rain showed no signs of letting up anytime soon, but both women had work the next day and needed to get at least some sleep.

"Hey Casey are you doing anything this Saturday?"

"Uh...nothing I have the day off why?"

"I uh.., I want you to meet someone, someone very special to me, I was thinking if you wanted we could make a day out of it, g-go shopping of something" Ilsa kept her eyes down, not wanting to look at Casey in case she said no.

"Sure, I'd like that but who do you want me to meet?" Casey asked, happy to be spending a day with a friend, confused about who she was supposed to meet "Who do you want me to meet?"

"You'll find out when we meet Saturday" she smiled "I better go" Ilsa said as she got up off of the couch and stretch, hearing a satisfying pop as she did.

"Its still raining really hard out there, why don't you spend the night" Casey offered as she let out a yawn

Ilsa chuckled and just nodded "Sure why not"

As Casey got up off the couch and started to pick up the empty glasses she turned to Ilsa "Do you want to sleep on the couch?"

Ilsa blinked "Uh…where else would I sleep?""Well my bed is big enough for two people trust me"

Ilsa smiled mischievously "How many people have you had in your bed?"

"Oh grow up Ilsa" Casey called as she walked to put the cups in the sink, she would wash them later

"Ok am I going to be the first woman in it? If so I feel very honoured"

Casey turned to look at Ilsa a clearly unamused look on her face; Ilsa on the other hand still had that stupid smile on her face, Casey shook her head and went into her room, closing the door behind sat back down on the couch and smiled, flopping onto her side she yawned and closed her eyes, shifting to get comfortable"You can come in if you want to" she heard Casey yell from the bedroom

Ilsa slowly got up and pushed the door open, taking a deep breath, she smiled hen she saw Casey snuggled up under the covers.

"You sure you won't find it awkward?" Ilsa asked as she stepped next to the bed, she didn't have a problem with sharing a bed with people, she had shared her bed with a lot of her friends Sam, Ethan, Olivia it was a long list, but she didn't want to make Casey feel awkward, they had just gotten there friendship back on track and Ilsa knew she had problems sleeping.

"I think I can trust you won't do anything" Casey mumbled sleepily as she snuggled deeper into her bed

Ilsa slowly sat down on the bed, trying not to disturb Casey she lay down and put her arms behind her head, waiting for Casey to fall asleep.

It wasn't long before Ilsa heard Casey's breathing change, letting her know that the woman next to her was fast asleep, Ilsa closed her eyes and started to doze off, until she felt something warm wrap cover her stomach, she stiffened and slowly opened her eyes, shaking her head when she noticed Casey had rolled into her and was now snuggling into her side, resting her head on Ilsa's shoulder and wrapping an arm around her.

Ilsa closed her eyes and tried to sleep, though it was hard with Casey pressed against her, she tried to gently roll Casey off her during the night, but it never worked, she'd either moan and pull herself closer, or roll back over once Ilsa retreated back to her side of the bed.

After finally falling to sleep, Ilsa work herself with a gasp, looking around the room she noticed she wasn't in her room, one look down told her she was either dreaming or had stayed the night at Casey's, the only two logical explanations as to why the young ADA was sleeping on her. Carefully Ilsa push herself onto her elbows and looked at the clock on Casey's bedside table, sighing she flopped back into the bed

_'Like fucking clock work' _ she thought bitterly, almost every day she woke up around 4 in the morning and try and she might she knew she wouldn't get back to sleep anytime soon. With an angry sigh she rolled Casey off of her again and slipped out before she got caught in her grasp again. Making her way through the strange apartment in the dark, she found the bathroom and looked around for her clothes, they were still wet, but she slipped them back on and wrote a quick note in case Casey wondered where she was when she woke up.

She took a quick look back in the bedroom, making sure the ADA was still sleeping, Ilsa let out a chuckle when she looked in and saw Casey had sprawled into the spot she had been sleeping "Would she jump in my grave that quickly" she chuckled softly to herself. Letting herself she wandered through the streets, probably not a good idea, but she knew no one would mess with her. If they tried she always had her gun, and one phone call to a special friend and whoever messed with her would spend the rest of there life eating through a tube, if they were lucky…

**A/N well i hope this chapter makes sense and is good, i had a problem when i uploaded it and though I've read though it but there may be mistakes i cant see, after reading the same thing over and over you kinda miss things. Anyway next chapter is underway :) hope you all Enjoyed!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N Ok another chapter, been working hard on this between watching my L&O Dvds, i'll start the next chapter asap and i hope you all like :)**

It was cold and dark when Casey started to wake up, the annoying ringing of her alarm clock sounded in the background, she rolled over and slammed her fist down to stop it. After the ringing stopped she sighed and snuggled back into her pillow, hoping for a few minutes extra sleep.

Cracking her eyes opened, she slowly shifted so she was on her back and look to her side, closing her eyes she shook her head trying to get rid of the sleepy haze that still hung around, she was definitely alone in her bed, but she hadn't been the previous night. She had had a bit to drink but no where near enough to get drunk, so she knew that Ilsa had gone to bed with her…But where was the detective now.

Begrudgingly Casey crawled out of bed and stumbled over to her bedroom door, it was slightly opened, pushing it further she peeked out into lounge room, sighing when she didn't see Ilsa anywhere. Rubbing her eyes, Casey made her way to the bathroom.

She shook her head as she walked in and saw a note attached to her mirror

_'I was thinking of where to stick this note when I wrote it, next to the clock, on the door, wherever, then it hit me, I should put it where any self-respecting lawyer will look in the morning the mirror!'_

Casey shook her head and could picture Ilsa smirking as she wrote this

_'I would have told you I left but you looked so peaceful sleeping, how about we do lunch today? I assume lawyers eat normal food and don't just feed on the souls of others'_

She was tempted to just scrunch up the note and toss it in the bin, even when she wasn't around Ilsa was making stupid jokes and taking shots at lawyers

_'Anyway I couldn't sleep last night and rather than keep you awake I figured I'd leave, see you later_

-Ilsa'

Casey shook her head and contemplated if she wanted to have lunch with the annoying detective, maybe it would be worth it, she sighed and started the shower, placing her hand under the water to test the heat and waiting till it was just right, she stepped in and let the warm water cascade over her skin Getting ready for another day at work.

***

Ilsa looked up from her spot on her couch to see it was time to get ready for work, she had been lazing around her apartment since she had come back from Casey's, though it wasn't the best idea she had decided to have a smoke of her 'special' stuff. Already having had a shower she jumped up and walked into her room and pulled out whatever was in her path, settling on a pair of black pants and a deep purple shirt, she put on a black vest and donned her fedora.

She looked in the mirror to make sure she wouldn't scare any young children  
_'hmm' _she thought running a finger along the dark bags under her eyes _'No worse then it normally is' _She quickly brushed her hair and seeing that no matter what she did it was going to just hang there, she pushed her fringe out of her eyes and decided she looked good enough for work, not like she really cared what she looked like anyway.

Fetching her keys, she got her badge and gun and left her apartment, deciding today would be a good day to take the car, she quietly made her way to work, trying not to think about the night before, and Casey's warm body pressed against hers _'Stop it Ilsa!' _she snapped at herself _'that kind of thinking will only lead to bad things'_

"So where are we on this case?" Asked Cragen

"No where, we still don't know who did it, Emily won't tell us, she's scared" Said Fin

"So then un-scare her" Cragen said as he turned around and headed for his office

Ilsa shrugged off her jacket and went to hang it when Fin spotted her

"Don't we gotta go talk to Emily and get her to tell us who did it"

"Did we get anything from the rape kit? When I asked she had just been bought in, maybe they found something" Ilsa said

"I'll check, right now we need to talk to Emily and get her to tell us who did this"

Ilsa nodded "Maybe if we bring in Sam to, if there together Emily might talk"  
"Well we better do it soon, Cragen wants us to hurry up and find someone" Fin said nodded in the direction of Captain Cragen's office. Ilsa sighed and walked to her desk, sitting down she picked up the phone and dialled a number.

Ilsa gently placed the phone down and turned to Fin  
"Emily is out of the hospital, so if we want to see her we have to go to her house, I don't know if she's willing to make the journey here"

"Oh so lets go and talk to the girl, see if we can get anything out of her"

***

Ilsa let out a slow whistle as Fin pulled up in front of a large two story house  
"Damn..." she mumbled as she stepped out of the car.

The pair slowly made their way to the front door and knocked.

"So...you got a kid?" Fin asked nonchalantly

Ilsa smiled, she had forgotten Fin and Munch had seen josh the other day  
"Yeah I've got a little boy, Josh, he's a sweetheart"

"How old is he?"

"He's twelve today, it's his birthday" she said with a smile

"You musta been young when you had him"  
"Uh…Yeah I was, I was sixteen when i had the little bugger"

Fin chuckled "He looks like you...but why didn't you tell us you're a mom?"  
Ilsa stiffened "You know now, better late then never right?" she said with a nervous smile

Ilsa was interrupted as someone opened the door, Fin and Ilsa straightened their attire and smiled.

"Hello Detectives" Said Jonathan as he saw who it was on the other side if the door "What can I do for you?"

"We need to talk to Emily again Sir" Ilsa said as politely as she could.

"She only just got out of the hospital, she's still really shaken up, I-I don't know if it's a good idea" he muttered uncomfortably, clearly he didn't want anyone to upset his daughter.

Fin moved closer to the pastor "Look I know she's upset, but if we don't talk to her we won't be able to get the man who did this to her"

Jonathan sighed but held the door tight, debating whether or not to let the two detectives in his home. Slowly he opened the door wider and stepped aside leaving enough room for them to get past. They made their way through the house, no one said anything until they came into the family room and saw Emily curled up on a couch, her mother comforting her.

Emily looked up, saw Ilsa and sighed "I told you i don't remember anything!' she whined

Carissa turned around and glared at the two detectives "Stop harassing my daughter, what are you doing bother us when you should be out there catching the monster who did this"

"We would Mrs Taucher" Ilsa said firmly "But we can't do a lot unless we find out mre about who could have done this, Emily is there anyone you can think of"

"I thought it was that Carl Reyes, he was always a bad person" Carrisa snapped

"MOM!" Emily yelled "You used to say he was a nice young boy, why do you hate him"

"Oh darling" she cooed "That whole family is immoral" Emily looked shocked as the words left her mothers mouth.

Ilsa walked closer and stood next to Emily on the couch, careful not et to close and bump one of her injury's

"I've talked to Samantha" she said softly "I know about her and you and how you two are-"

"FRIENDS!" Emily screamed loudly, eyes wide "Samantha and I are friends

Carissa scoffed at her daughter "How can you be friends with her?"

Isa looked between the two, and quickly figured out what was happening, Emily's family didn't know she was gay, it made sense, her family was extremely religious she was scared of what would happened if she told them she was gay, and in a relationship with someone they clearly didn't like and if she named the person they might not believe her.

"Are you absolutely sure you don't remember anything, it doesn't matter if it seems insignificant, anything at all will help us" Ilsa softly added

Emily looked from her mother to Fin and Ilsa, it was easy to see the pain in the young woman's eyes, she shook her head "No…" stammered.

Ilsa looked and Fin and shook her head slowly, both had been hoping she would tell them something, so far they had nothing "Well remember if you can think of anything call us, any bit of information counts" Fin added as he and Ilsa made there way back to the door.

"Hold up" The female detective whispered, grabbing Fin by the shoulder  
"Would you mind if we spoke to Joel?" she asked Jonathan

Jonathan smiled sadly "I'm afraid you cant, he's not home at the moment, but I'll be sure to tell him you wish to speak with him"

"Alright" Ilsa mumbled as she opened the door and left the huge house.

"Well that blows chunks" She complained as she sat in the passenger seat of the car, waiting for Fin to get in.  
"What now?" he asked as he put the key in the ignition and started the engine, it growled to life as he pulled out of the drive way.

"We see if we got anything at all from the kit they did, hopefully they did"

"And if not?"

Ilsa sighed heavily and didn't answer the question, she didn't know what to do if they didn't get anything from the kit, she remembered them saying they didn't find any hairs or semen but maybe she got a piece of him, even the smallest bit would help, it was a long shot, but it would help them a lot if it panned out.

***

Ilsa flops into her seat and pinches the bridge of her nose, taking a few deep breaths.

"Hey Ilsa we've got some good news" Said Fin as he walked up a few minutes later  
"What?" she asked dryly, she didn't mean to take any anger of frustration out on Fin, she was just in a bad mood now.

'there was some skin and blood under her nails, thought it was hers at first after that beating, once we get the results back we'll see if we can match it to anyone in the system"

Ilsa smiled "That's great news, now we just have to wait and hope the guy who did this is in the system"

"Hey don't beat yourself up, we'll find this guy" He assured her  
Ilsa nodded but didn't say anything, she was getting lost in thought, they had found something that was good, it might not match anyone in the system that was bad, Emily was scared and wouldn't talk, but Ilsa knew that the girl remembered something if not everything.

Now it was a waiting game for the DNA results, she was running out of leads and the case was going nowhere quickly, Carissa was stirring up attention putting more pressure on the detectives.

"So how is your case going?" Asked Olivia as she walked through the doors and hung up her dark leather jacket. Turning around she went and grabbed a cup of coffee for herself and Ilsa.

The Australian smiled as she took the cup from her friend "Oh its going peachy, Emily wont talk, the person we thought did it Carl Reyes, everyone else says he didn't he's to much of a sweetie, the person we got told to look at Asael Garcia is a devout christen and great all American boy and has an alibi!" she rambled, taking a deep breath she looked at Olivia and gave sad smile "So all in all, it's going great"

Elliot and Munch wondered in as Ilsa finished her mini rant, wondering what she was going on about  
"So what your back to square one?" Olivia asked

"Why square one?" Ilsa asked in all seriousness "Why not a circle, or hexagon oh OOOh a dodecahedron!"

Olivia's brow furrowed I confusion "what? Where did that come from?" she asked with a hint of humour "How did you even become a detective?"

"Pity" Ilsa offered with a grin "They felt sorry for me so they gave me the badge"

The detectives shared a laugh, only for a few moments before they had to get back to work.

Ilsa swang around in her chair and picked up her phone, the phone Rang a few times before someone picked up on the other end  
_"Hello"_ a deep voice said

"Hi this is detective Couri, is Samantha Reyes there?" she asked  
_"Just a second"  
_The line went quiet, Ilsa shifted in her chair trying to get comfortable, she was hoping her new plan would work. She could hear quiet voices on the other end of the line.

_"Hello?" _ Samantha asked  
"Samantha, detective Couri here"  
_"Yeah I know, what do you need?"  
_"It's about Emily, she remembers something but she won't talk to me-"  
_"And you think her parents will let me talk to her?" _Sam cut Ilsa off  
"Emily is old enough to talk to us on her own she doesn't need her parents around to talk to us"

_"And what are you thinking?"_ The woman on the end of the line asked her interesting piquing  
"If I can get her to come in , will you meet me here, she won't talk to me alone but maybe if you're here she will"  
Samantha didn't say anything but Ilsa could still hear her breathing. Sam was mulling it over in her head, she wanted no she needed to help Emily in any way she could.  
_"Call me and I'll be there"_ there was a _click_ and the line went dead, Ilsa gently placed the phone back down and smiled

_'well that went a lot better than I thought' _she thought as she considered what could happen if she got Emily and Samantha together...Well hopefully it wouldn't be anything bad. Ilsa mind was mulling over a lot of things, as was often the case, she was thinking about the case, who to get Emily to tell them the truth, the DNA sample and the small chance it would give them their perp, her son and his birthday _'hmm I still need to pick up his present'_ and the nagging thoughts of their ADA that kept popping up when she really wished it would just stop.

"Ilsa"

Why couldn't she stop thinking about Casey, they were just friends, that's all either of them wanted right?

"Ilsa?"

Of course it was, Casey had told her that she was straight, I quote _'I'm not gay'_ right so stop thinking about it…

"Iiiiilsa?"

You're only thinking about her because she's a good friend, you don't have a whole lot of those, and she puts up with you, its nothing else, just a good friendship

"Ilsa!" Ilsa jumped when Fin put his hand of her shoulder  
"You ok, I was trying to get your attention"

Ilsa nodded and pinched the bridge of her nose "yeah, I guess I'm a little distracted sorry, what's up?"

"We got the results back" Fin said

Ilsa stood up quickly out of her chair a smile on her face, her fingers crosses "Please tell me he's in the system"

Fin shook his head glumly

Ilsa groaned her disappointment "So all we need to do no is figure out who's DNA it is…" she rubbed her chin and "Easy as pie" she mumbled.

"Who do you think it was?" Asked Olivia from her desk

Ilsa ran a hand through her hair and closed her eyes, trying to think "I think…" she said reaching to grab her notes "Asael Garcia"

"What?" Asked Elliot "You think it was him" Ilsa just nodded

"But' he's a good christen kid with an alibi and a clean record how can you think he did it"

"Because Emily and Samantha told me that Carl couldn't have, and who's to say Joel isn't lying about the alibi" Ilsa said taking a deep breath "And just because someone is religious doesn't mean they're a good person"

"So because he's Christen you think he did it? that doesn't seem fair" Elliot retorted

Ilsa turned to face him "I'm not saying it's him because he's religious I don't give a damn if he believes a big man in the sky made everything, or if he believes there is a different god for every little thing or if he worships a cheese wheel, he's a suspect because Samantha told me he had a thing for Emily"

"And you believe Samantha's word, the word of someone who was kicked out of the church and is most likely angry about it" Elliot's temper was rising

"Yes, because what reason does she have to lie? she wants to find out who hurt Emily as much as we do, she's no longer aloud in the church but that doesn't matter to her because she has what she wants"

"Oh and what's that?" asked Elliot

"A woman she loves and who loves her back, she and Emily are in a relationship, hey maybe that's why Emily got attacked and raped, because someone found out she's a lesbian and told Asael and he got jealous"

"She's a lesbian?" Asked Elliot confused his annoyance subsiding for the moment

"Yeah it's easy to see, and it makes sense she won't say who did it, she's scared, she doesn't want to be disowned, and she's probably scared she'll be hurt again and shunned by everyone…maybe even get told she deserve it"

"Maybe if she just comes out and tells-"

"It's not just that simple telling someone your gay" Ilsa cut him off "And as for the rape of course she's scared, she was violated in one of the worst possible ways, you wouldn't know what kind of thoughts pass through your mind unless you've had someone touch you in a way you don't want, you can work this job for years and never really know what you would do until in that situation"

"What and I suppose you know?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Ilsa was stressed, she was getting angry, she didn't want to get angry and yell at Elliot, it was just a disagreement, they often had them when they disagreed on a case, but she couldn't stop herself, she needed some air to clear her head. After her confessions last night and another nearly sleepless night, she was a little emotional.

"Yes" was all Ilsa said as she walked out of the squad room  
Elliot didn't say anything, he just tried to process what she had said "What did she say?" he asked

The room was quiet, and everyone looked at each other trying to get an answer that no one had.

Fin walked out after Ilsa, asking passing people is they had seen her.

Ilsa was up on the roof, taking deep breaths _'oh why did I say that, I should have just let Elliot tell me his opinion'_ she mentally smacked herself; she rubbed her eyes and shook her head wondering what she would now

"You ok?" Came Fins voice from behind her, she didn't turn just kept staring over the city and nodded solemnly

"What were you talking about back there?" he asked gently as she stood next to her

Ilsa shook her head again "No you don't want to know, hell I don't want to know"

"You know I got your back right?" he smiled

Ilsa let out a soft laugh "Yeah I know you do, I just…"

"Just what, you can tell me Ilsa, your secrets safe with me, if you need to talk"

Ilsa smiled at Fin "Yeah I know" she paused for a moment considering what to tell him next, tell him what happened to her, or not she hadn't talked about it in so long she wondered if she could "Thanks" she said and leaned in and kissed him on the cheek

"Can you tell the Captain that I've left?" she asked while she turned to walked back inside

"Sure but why?" he asked following behind her.

"I need to go see someone, shouldn't be long" Fin nodded and Ilsa walked out of the building as he made his way back to the squad room _'strange girl'_ he thought as he sat at his desk, everyone else silently getting back to work.

***

George Huang sat at his desk, going over papers in his quiet office, he heard the door open and saw Ilsa standing in front of him.

"Detective?" he asked in his usual gentle voice  
Ilsa smiled "Ilsa, just call me Ilsa"

He nodded and the room went quiet after that  
"George I need help" she said with a tight voice

He let out a soft laugh "Would you like to say down on the couch?" he asked with a smile

"That might be good" she mumbled

George sat a little straighter in his chair after hearing that "Ilsa what's wrong?"

Ilsa starting fidgeting, trying to figure out why she had come here, figuring out where, if at all she should start, and if George would even want to help her, most of the time people didn't.

"I uh…" she took a seat across from him and looked down at the ground "I don't know what to do, I don't want to talk but people keep telling me I should, but no one ever really listened before and I'm scared if I talk I'll be left worse then before and it's just getting hard to handle and I don't want it to interfere with work, but I really think I need some help I just don't know where to get it" she took a deep breath after her long rant and continued to look down "B-but you're busy I shouldn't have bothered you" she started t stand up when George stopped her

"Ilsa…what are you talking about, what's wrong?" his voice kind and gentle as he tried to get the obviously emotional detective to open up.

Ilsa's bottom lips started to tremble and she fought to keep tears hidden. "M-My uh father…he" she could look George in the eyes, what he think if she told him the truth, people had hated her for lesser things, would he look at her the same, or with disgust. Maybe it wasn't the time to figure it out, maybe it would be easier to keep her pain to herself, why be a burden on a friend

"He what Ilsa? You can tell me and no one else will know, it'll just be between you and I" he urged softly

Ilsa's throat was tight and she wasn't sure if she could get the words out. She took a deep breath and opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to get the words out, but they wouldn't come, she bit her bottom lip and shook her head _'come on Ilsa, you've come this far, maybe it'll be different this time' _

"My Father abused me…" she said, finally looking up to gauge Georges reaction, he gave a soft smiled and leaned back in his chair.

"When did it first start?" he asked  
Ilsa smiled slightly, hopeful that George would be different from the others shrinks she had talked to in the past, she cleared her throat "When I was six…"

***

It had been almost two hours since Ilsa had left, Olivia was starting to get a little worried, she knew pretty much everything about Ilsa, she knew what the girl was talking about, and she hoped Elliot didn't think to badly of her.

Her worries ceased when she was Ilsa walk in a smile on her face and a cage in her hand, she put the cage on her desk and continued into the captains office

***

"Where were you?" asked Donald when he saw Ilsa

"I went to talk to George" she said awkwardly

Cragen put his pen down and looked up at her with a questioning face "And?..."

"I think he might be able to help"

Cragen had wanted to be angry with Ilsa, but after hearing that she was starting to get help he couldn't, he sighed "Don't leave next time unless I say you can"

"Yes sir!" she said with a stern face and a salute

"I'm glad you're getting help" generly happy that she was putting in an effort and not just pushing her problems aside

Ilsa shrugged "We don't know if it's working yet, we'll have to wait and see"

he looked at his watch "Well you better go if you want to make it on time"

Ilsa quickly made her way part the desk and wrapped her arms around her captains neck "Thank you" she mumbled before pulling back "You want to come by tonight? I'm sure Josh would be happy to see you"

"I might, but don't tell him in case I cant make it"

Ilsa nodded and made her way to the door "Tell him happy birthday for me!" he called after her.

***

Ilsa stepped out and saw Elliot at his desk, she walked up and stood behind him, gently she tapped him on the shoulder

"I'm sorry, about earlier" she offered him with a smile  
Elliot sighed "it's ok, it's been a pretty stressful week"

"We cool?" she asked hold out her fist

Elliot bumped her fist "Yeah we're cool"

"Excellent!" she said as she made her way to grab her cage

"hey what's in there?" asked Olivia

Ilsa couldn't hide the grin "Wanna see? It's Josh's present"  
Olivia nodded and she and Elliot turned and watched as Ilsa opened the cage and pulled out a bundle of fur, the fur made a whimper noise and Ilsa held it.

"Aw" exclaimed Olivia and she got up and walked over "You got Josh a puppy?" she asked petting it's head "What kind is it?"

Ilsa shrugged "I'm not sure what kind of dog it is, but he's been asking for one and I thought he might like her, isn't that right" she said holding the puppy to her face, once it was close enough it started to lick her nose.

"She's adorable" Olivia said "So it's his birthday?" she asked as Ilsa placed the happy fur ball back in it's cage  
"Yeah if you want you can stop by" she said quickly scribbling a note "This is the address"

And with that Ilsa sauntered out of the squad room and made her way home to get ready for her son's birthday party.

**A/N Yay! i am a very happy Panda after finishing this chapter, hopefully I'll have the rest done soon, hope you are enjoying reading cause i am really enjoying writing :) R&R**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N Yay again another one, i have Chapter 16 already typed and I'm on to 17 now, sorry i havent posted in a bit, i was having my lip pierced...it hurt so bad and my parents weren't happy, but ah well, anyway I've been watching L&O wiht my sister (she actually wants to watch it wiht me after ages of teasing me for it) anyway, i hope you enjoy and please R&R**

It had been a fun day for Ilsa, even though she was now home alone, Josh had had a great time at his birthday Olivia and Captain Cragen had even managed to stop by and wish him a 'happy birthday' and he loved the presents he had been given, especially the puppy, It was Sam's night with their son, and although neither Josh nor Ilsa wanted to leave, Ilsa needed to get home and get some sleep for the coming day. She was supposed to meet Casey for a day on the town.

Ilsa was snuggled in bed, cocooned in the blankets and with her trusty teddy nestled to her chest, she was in that place between being awake and deep in sleep, her breathing slow and deep as she drifted off to dreamland, she was almost out cold.

Ilsa's eyes shot open as a knock sounded through the still night air "Who the fuck…" she mumbled sleepily, taking a look at the bedside clock she decided to ignore the knocking _'who in their right mind knock on someone's door at 1:30 in the morning'_ she thought as she shifted under her blankets to get comfortable again, sighing contently as she found a comfortable spot.

_Knock knock!_ Ilsa groaned and sat up, feeling incredibly irritable at being woken up when she had finally been able to fall asleep without problems. She threw the blankets off in a huff and reached to her bedside table and grabbed her gun, slowly she touched her feet to the ground and made her way to her front door.

Leaning up against the door, she leaned to look through the peephole "What the fuck" she muttered harshly. She opened the door and saw a very dishevelled ADA Casey Novak on the other side. Casey smiled when she saw Ilsa.

"Hey you!" she yelled and threw her arms around Ilsa, Ilsa didn't move just patted Casey's shoulder.

"Uh…Hi" she answered awkwardly _'what is she doing at my apartment in the middle of the night?'_ she asked herself, quickly getting an answer when she smelt the alcohol on her friends breath.

"Casey what are you doing here?" Ilsa asked as she gently pulled the ADA off of her.  
"I just wanted to see my friend and introduce you to one of mine" Casey said, her words slurred.

"Um…" Ilsa wasn't feeling to articulate at this point in time "Who did you want me to meet, and why at one thirty in the morning?"

Casey tugged her friends hand "Come on, I had to tell someone, he's waiting outside"

Ilsa quickly threw on a coat before she went out into the cold night air, and made sure she had her keys in her hand "Casey your drunk!" Ilsa pointed out as they unsteadily made there way outside.

"No I'm not" her friend slurred "I'm just really happy"

Ilsa rolled her eyes and continued to be pulled along, she regretted not putting something on her feet as they hit the cold pavement outside, Ilsa straight away noticed a yellow cab waiting outside, she didn't have a choice about approaching it, Casey wasn't letting go of her hand.

A Man was sitting in the back seat and turned his head as he saw the two women approach  
"He didn't do it" Casey slurred happily  
"Fascinating!" Ilsa said sarcastically, she was confused about the whole situation "What didn't he do?"

Before she got an answer the man smiled "I didn't know you were going to get a friend to join us, this should be a fun night"

It clicked for Ilsa after that, this guy wasn't a friend "Where did you meet Casey?" Ilsa asked as she pulled the ADA closer to her, trying to stop Casey form falling down on the sidewalk.

"At a bar tonight, she's really into me, if you get my meaning, but I don't mind sharing" his smile was sleazy and Ilsa wanted nothing more then to smack the smile right off his face.

Ilsa glared at the man "Well I don't know what you think is going to happen tonight but she's not going anywhere with you" she said coldly.

The man stiffened in his seat "She already agreed, were going to my place"

"Look at her" Ilsa spat angrily "Does she look like she can agree to anything! She's drunk off her ass!"

The man smiled smugly "Well she's already decided to come back to my place and I have no intention of going home alone"

Ilsa smirked "Well it looks like it's just you and your hand tonight mate because she's staying with me" She pulled Casey to the driver and leaned in the window, reaching into her coat pocket she pulled out a few bills and gave them to him.

The stranger opened the cab door and walk around, he looked angry, like he was going to grab Casey, when Ilsa pulled her gun out and pointed it at him "Look mate, make this easy and just get back in the car"

"Are you crazy bitch!" he yelled as he made his way back around the taxi

"No" she deadpanned "I'm a cop"

With that the man got back into the taxi muttering to himself about bitches and teasing, Ilsa payed him no heed and lead Casey back into the building.

Casey was out of it, the alcohol having finally caught up to her, and she limply made her way back into Ilsa's apartment.

Ilsa opened the door and gently urged Casey inside, closing the door she quickly made her way back to her friends side and led her to the couch  
"Casey what's going on?" she asked gently  
"He didn't do it" she mumbled her answer

"You said that sweaty" Ilsa said placing her hand on Casey's back she started to rub small comforting circles "What did he do?"

Casey was about to answer, when she quickly placed her hand over her mouth, the universal sign of 'I'm going to blow some chunks'  
Ilsa noticed and as quickly as she could with an inebriated attorney made it to her bathroom.

She had Casey by the toilet when the ADA threw up, sadly she didn't have her head over the bowl and it landed on the floor…and Ilsa's feet.  
Ilsa raised and eyebrow looked down and shook her head, deciding to ignore it for the minute she held Casey's hair out of the way and rubbed slow circles on her back.

Casey finally stopped vomiting and she lent back, Ilsa grabbed a wash cloth and wet it, pressing it to Casey's forehead, she grabbed a second one and wiped the vomit of her feet and then started on the floor.  
"Feeling better?" she asked after she threw cloth in the sink, she'd clean it later…or throw it out which ever was easier.

Casey didn't say anything just nodded her head slowly. Ilsa stood up and reached out for Casey, slowly pulled her to her feet and leading her to the bedroom, she sat Casey on the bed and noticed she was still in one of her suits. Ilsa sighed and went about finding something for the ADA to wear.

She pulled out a spare pair of sweats and an old shirt. She kneeled in front of Casey and smiled, gently she spoke "Here" she said placing the clothing into Casey's hands "For you to change into".

Casey didn't hear a word her head still spinning and Ilsa could tell she was out of it "Oh boy…" Ilsa said looking around the room  
"OK lets try do this" she coaxed the jacket off of Casey and hoped that the young woman would regain enough brain function to get the rest of her clothes off…no such luck, Ilsa sighed and started to slowly unbutton her friends blouse, looking to the side, trying to avoid getting an eye full, once the shirt was undone Ilsa pulled it off Casey and went about pulling her spare shirt over her head, she pulled her heels off and placed them at the foot of the bed.

"Right your turn" she said to Casey "I am not putting your pants on for you, I draw the line at pants"  
Casey nodded absently and stood up slowly, so she didn't fall down and started to pull her pants off. Wishing her head would stop spinning

"Whoa!" Ilsa exclaimed and threw her hands in the air; she then turned around and covered her eyes. She waited, and waited until she was sure Casey was done, slowly she turned around and saw Casey was sitting on the bed, fully clothed, with her head in her hands.  
Ilsa shook her head and collected all her friends' clothes and moved them from the floor, quietly leaving the room she got a glass from the cupboard and filled it with icy water and brought it into her friend.

Casey gratefully accepted the cup and drank slowly from it. Ilsa then placed her hands on the ADA's shoulders and laid her down, dragging the covers over and smiling down at her friend. Ilsa tuned to leave but a hand around her wrist stopped her.  
"Please don't go…" she heard a tired and almost asleep Casey whisper

Ilsa softly laughed and sat on the bed, she gently stroked her friends cheek, letting her know she wasn't going to go anywhere right now. Ilsa sat on the edge of her bed, with Casey holding her hand until she saw the rising of her chest and heard the deep breathing, letting her know her friend was in a deep drunken sleep. The young detective pulled her hand free, leaning over and giving her a quick kiss on the forehead she walked out into the living room, plopping herself down on the couch she placed an arm over her eyes and sighed deeply. Hoping to get a few more hours sleep _'what the hell was Casey going on about' _she though as she tried to get comfy on her couch _'maybe I can ask her in the morning, if she even remembers tonight, it's a good thing she decided to come to my place in the middle of the night, wouldn't want her going home with some sleaze bag' _One final shift on the couch and Ilsa was in a spot where she could fall asleep and she started to drift of again.

***

Casey groaned disapprovingly as she rolled over and covered her face, trying to block out the small streams of light that crept into the room, it was too early to wake up, and she had a massive headache, she felt like her head was going to implode or explode or something like that. She heard a voice coming from somewhere, she sat up and looked around, a bad move on her part when her head started to spin and she felt like throwing up, she flopped back into the bed and grunted, wiling herself not to throw up or pass out she slowly sat up again and looked around the room.

She paused, and blinked a few times and rubbed her eyes, this wasn't her room, this wasn't her bed and these weren't her clothes_ 'what happened last night?'_ she asked herself, looking at the bedside table she saw a glass of water and some aspirin, she picked up the pills and looked at them, her head pounded and she decided to at least attempt to get rid of it, slowly she placed the pills in her mouth and swallowed. She stood up, hearing noises coming from another room in the strange apartment. She slowly placed her feet on the ground and stood on shaky legs. Making her way to the door she wondered outside the bedroom.

She poked her head around and looked into the lounge room, wondering whose place she was at.

"Morning sleeping beauty" Casey heard the unmistakable accent ring out across the room  
slowly she turned and saw Ilsa with a smile on her face "Did you take the pills?" she asked, her voice filled with concern.

Casey nodded, and then regretted it as her head began to spin; Ilsa walked over and placed a hand gently on her friends shoulder.

"Are you feeling ok? You were pretty out of it last night" Ilsa said as she led Casey to the couch and gently sat her down, she walked off and grabbed a glass filling it with some orange juice she walked back to Casey and handed her the glass "You might not want to but try drink some"

The ADA placed the glass to her lips and took a small sip before she cleared her throat "what uh what happened last night?" she asked uncertainly

Ilsa chuckled "I was hoping you could tell me, you really tied one on last night"  
Casey gave her a confused look, Ilsa just smiled back and continued "I don't now what you did, you rocked up at my place in the middle of the night and I wasn't about to let you leave when you can barely walk"

Casey blushed and looked away, she didn't remember coming to Ilsa's apartment, she remembered going to a bar after work because she had had a bad day, a really bad day, bad was an understatement to her.

"Oh my god…I don't even remember last night" Casey said hiding her face in her hands  
Ilsa let out a soft chuckle and rubbed Casey's back "its ok, hopefully it'll come back you to, but until such a time, what would you like for breakfast?"

Casey groaned, the thought of breakfast was not one she wanted right now.  
"With that groan I take it you don't want anything to eat" Casey nodded her head  
"How about some toast and coffee, you don't have to eat anymore, but try eat something" Ilsa stood and walked into the kitchen and got to work making some coffee and toast for her friend.

Casey made her way in and saw her friend, taking in the kitchen she smiled, Ilsa had her back to her but she could tell she was eating something "So how's that coffee coming?" she asked

Ilsa turned, and smiled sheepishly as she placed the bowl she was holding down, swallowing the cereal in her mouth "Almost ready, even on a day off you're impatient" Ilsa joked, Turning she pulled down two cups and then headed to the fridge and pulled out the milk.

She finished making the coffee and handed a cup to Casey; Casey couldn't help but let out a happy sigh as she swallowed the warm liquid.

Ilsa handed Casey a plate with some toast on it and motioned with her head to an array of spreads "if you want anything on it" she said and moved to sit at the small island.

They sat in silence, Ilsa sat down and picked up a book and started to read, Casey slowly ate the toast and drank her coffee.  
"So we still on for today?" Ilsa asked not looking up from the book  
"Yeah sure, what time were we meant to go?" Casey asked  
Ilsa looked at her watch "Lets see it's 9:30 now" she closed her eyes and looked deep in thought "Maybe 11-ish, gives us time to get in and have some lunch"

"So who am I meeting?" Casey asked nonchalantly  
Ilsa smiled "Nice try Novak, you'll know when you meet them, so I think I've waited long enough time to remember, what happened last night"  
Casey groaned and walked over to the couch trying to avoid this convocation

"ok if you cant remember I'll try help, you went out got drunk and rocked up at my place last night, why did you go drinking" Ilsa said as she sat next to her friend

Casey groaned "I lost a case yesterday…" she said sadly  
Ilsa placed a hand gently on her shoulder "I'm sorry sweetie, is that why you were drinking?"

Casey nodded her head, she remembered now, remembered why she had gone out, though she couldn't remember what compelled her to say she would go home with that man.  
"Its what people kept saying after I lost" she mumbled, she seemed depressed, Ilsa moved a little closer  
"Come on" she said softly "You can tell me"  
Casey shook her head again, she didn't really want to talk about it  
"Yes you can come on, if you cant trust me who can you trust?" Ilsa's voice was soft and comforting "look talking to me is like confessional with a priest, No one else will ever know"

Casey chuckled then sighed "I heard people talking about it, they kept saying 'Alex Cabot would have won' and other stuff like that"

"Is that what you meant when you said he didn't do it?"

Casey covered her face and nodded "I was just so tired of it" Ilsa could see Casey was getting upset so she pulled her closer, letting her friend rest her head on her shoulder  
"I'm sick of being told I'm not as good as her, I feel like I cant even compete, everyone loved her and I'm just some replacement who cant match up to the great 'Alex Cabot' I'm always compared to her ghost…He couldnt compare me to her, he doesn't know who she is..."

"You are her replacement though" Ilsa said, Casey pulled her head back and looked shocked…and hurt

"No Casey what I mean is you replaced her as a lawyer not as a person, you have your own way of doing things, so did she, don't ever feel like your less of a person or a lawyer because of that" Ilsa smiled and cupped Casey's cheek "If it makes you feel any better…you the best ADA I've ever worked with and I wouldn't trade you for anyone"

Casey let out a soft chuckle , but then groaned and hid her face in her hands "I cant believe I almost went home with that guy"

"Good thing you came by my place first, though I don't know why" Ilsa said

Casey sighed "I don't know why I came by, but thank you for not letting me go home with that creep"

"Anytime I wouldn't never let you go home with some guy, but I think the reason you came by my place is because when your drunk you get totally horny for me" She said with a cheeky smile

Casey's mouth dropped opened and she picked up a pillow that was sitting on the couch and smacked Ilsa in the face "ILSA!" she yelled a light blush creeping over her cheeks

"You know it's true don't deny it Casey, every time you get drunk you seek me out, I'm starting to think you really want me"

Casey laughed and hit Ilsa again, she was happy that Ilsa could make her forget that she had been so upset the previous night, that Ilsa could make her laugh and smile…

"I have to say Casey you're a very beautiful woman, I'm flattered really" Ilsa said with a lopsided grin

Casey threw the pillow at Ilsa's face this time "Try keep it in your pants" she said still laughing  
Ilsa sighed theatrically "A girl can dream cant she" she joked as she stood up and went to take Casey empty cup out.

Casey curled up on the couch and shook her head, wondering if it was at all possible for Ilsa to take anything seriously, she looked around the room, taking it in, she saw a few pictures scattered around and got up to look, she grabbed frame and looked at the picture inside.

"What ya doin?" Ilsa asked as she walked back in  
Casey turned and looked like a dear caught in the head lights "I was um…looking at the pictures" Casey placed the frame back down  
"Who is it?" she asked still looking, it was a photo of a woman leaning on a wooden fence with a little girl sitting on it next to her, the little girl was wearing a hat way to big for her and had a huge grin on her face, the woman looked tired and they were covered in dirt and dust but they still looked so happy.

Ilsa sighed but smiled "That's my mum and me" she said sadly

"Where was it taken" Casey asked softly  
"Back home, I was so happy she was taking me with her, we took that picture after we finished work, it had been a long day but I couldn't have been happier"

"Your mom was really pretty, you look a lot like her…" Casey said seeing it was a tender topic for her friend, and as she looked at the woman in the picture and the one across the room, the resemblance was incredible, from the same green eyes and mousy blond hair to the smile.

Ilsa smiled "Thanks"

"So where was home?"

"We lived on a cattle ranch, it was fun until my…'father' made us move"  
"Do you know why he did?" Casey asked walking closer to her friend

"I think he was from New York and came to Australia for a trip met me mum and she fell in love, he wasn't around a lot which was good, I was happy with my mum and my brother, he came back one day and said we were moving and just like that I'm saying goodbye to everyone and thing I know, to move to a big city I've never even heard of"

"You never asked where he was from?"

Ilsa snorted "When we got here I wanted as little to do with him as I could, made my life a living hell"

"Hey we don't have to talk about this…" Casey offered a way out of the conversation

"I guess I've just been feeling a little home sick, haven't been there for a long time you know, I'm really missing my family"

Casey took Ilsa's hand and lead her to the couch "So tell me about it 'life on the farm'"

Ilsa chuckled, she didn't talk about her life a lot, but it felt nice to talk to Casey about it.  
"It's fun, you know riding horses and cows-"

"Riding cows?" Casey asked confused  
Ilsa smiled "I always wanted to ride a cow, and I got to while I lived there, my mum even helped me get up on it"

Casey could see a glint in her friends eyes as she reminisced about her life back home.  
Ilsa looked at her watch and smiled "I'm going to go jump in the shower, don't go snooping around anymore" she warned as she walked off.

Casey smiled and watches as Ilsa disappeared into the bathroom and looked around, finding the remote she switched the TV on, changing the channel over and over again hoping to find something good.  
She heard the water stop running and a few minutes later heard the door open, a freshly showers Ilsa walked out with a smile on her face, wearing a pair of dark jeans and a grey shirt with the slogan 'down under' on it and a silhouette of a kangaroo next to it. She was drying her hair with a towel

"Nice shirt" she commented with a smile  
Ilsa threw the towel at Casey "Damn right it's a nice shirt, brings out my girlish figure"  
Casey quickly threw the towel on the floor and laughed at what her friend said, though yes it did bring out her figure Casey wasn't about to agree.

"Um do you mind if I take a shower?" she asked

Ilsa flopped on the couch next to her and rolled a pair of socks on "Nah go for it, you can go through my clothes to find something to wear to, I don't mind"

"I'm not going to find anything bad am I?" Casey teased as she walked to the bathroom

"Only if you look in the very bottom draw!" Ilsa called after her wiht a smile

After half an hour Casey was out and was looking through her friends clothes to find something to wear, the pulled out a pair of pants she hoped would fit her and took a random shirt to, putting them on she joined her friend in the lounge room, she saw Ilsa staring at the photo she had picked up earlier.

"You ok?" Casey asked walking over  
Ilsa nodded "Uh yeah, just thinking, you know" Ilsa bit her bottom lip to stop from getting to emotional.

"I guess if were shopping I have to take my car, wouldn't want the bags flying off my bike" Ilsa said as she grabbed her things and opened the door "After you" she said bowing as Casey walked past.

"And they say chivalry is dead" Casey said as she stepped out and waited for Ilsa to locked the door

"Eh stick with me long enough and you'll see its very much alive" Ilsa said as they walked off…

**A/N Hope you enjoyed R&R next chapater up soon :D  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N This chapter is shorter then what i normally write but i figured I'd put it up anyway, and i am sad to say i am having a bit of writers block, I'm hoping it will go away quickly so i can finish this story, so enjoy this chapter and i will do what i normally do to keep my inspiration and keep writing :)**

"So who did you want me to meet?" Casey asked as she took a seat at an empty table on the food court.

"You'll meet them soon don't worry" Ilsa said with a smile, she had been having a great day, although some parts were better then others like how she and Casey had been talking about anything that popped into their heads that was good Ilsa liked that part very much, how Casey had decided to go look at some shoes and spent the better part of thirty minutes trying to decide on a pair not so good, that wasn't Ilsa's cup of tea and she had gotten bored quickly looking around and wondering why someone would want to spend so much on shoes, but she stayed in her spot waiting for Casey because it would have been quite rude to wonder off, And Casey seemed like the kind of woman who really enjoyed her shoe shopping.

Casey was in much the same boat, loving that she and Ilsa could talk, but they had gone past a game shop and Ilsa had run in looking at all the games and other things on display while Casey looked around wondering what the big deal was. Ilsa had a big smile on her face and looked very much like a kid in a candy store as she started talking recent releases with the employs. _'She's like a big kid'_ Casey thought as she saw Ilsa face light up when handed the cover to some game and got into a big discussion about what system was better, or whatever they were on about, Casey wasn't really paying attention.  
Casey shook her head and sighed but no one else seemed to notice, the boy Ilsa was talking to didn't seem to mind, though he did pretend to get upset when the two left without buying anything but Ilsa assured him she would be back in when some new game came out and he accepted that over, also asking if she would come back in just to see him.

"So you know that guy?" Casey asked as they continued on their way

Ilsa smiled "He's the manager, really nice guy, just about every time I go in there he's working and we start talking"

"Ah so you two really have a thing for video games"

Ilsa gave a sheepish smile "Guilty, I'm a gaming nerd I cant deny it"

It wasn't long before Casey's stomach began to growl and Ilsa just smiled as they made there way to the food court and went to order some lunch, taking a good look before deciding on anything, Ilsa was hungry and would eat just about anything, but Casey decided to look around before she chose.

Casey had come back with a salad, and shook her head at Ilsa who wondered back over with a giant sandwich, wondering how the other woman was even going to get her mouth around it Casey was about to eat some of her salad and to her shock, Ilsa managed to do just that, get her whole mouth around the sandwich and tear a big chunk off chewing with a very satisfied smile on her face.

"You have one big mouth detective" Casey said eating a mouthful of her salad  
Ilsa was in the middle of taking another bite and just stopped and raised an eyebrow "Is that meant to be a complement?" she asked unsure of how to take the statement.

"what? Oh um…I'm just saying that you uh…" Casey muttered staring to get a little flustered; she hadn't meant to offend her.

Ilsa shook her head and chuckled at the look on Casey's face "Calm down woman, I'm only teasing, I eat a lot, trust me I'm like a bottomless pit I'm not offended in the least"

Casey pushed her remains around her plate as she waited for her friend to finish her monster of a sandwich "So where is he, or she? I'm still unsure as to who you want me to meet? Is it your boyfriend?"

Ilsa laughed "Have you forgotten already that I confided in you my attraction to the female persuasion?"

Casey covered her face "Right what I meant was, is it your girlfriend?" she corrected herself

"Yeah sure that's what you meant" Ilsa teased "But if he's a girl I'm going to be really really scared I mean I thought he was a boy"

"So just spill it, who do you want me to meet?" Casey questioned, trying to get the other woman to spill about who she was being dragged around to meet

Ilsa went to speak but stopped, debating her words "You know how…I don't talk much about my life much, well um…I've got a secret I think you should know and I don't know how to say it so I thought showing you would be better, I never get close to people so I don't see a point in telling them about my life, or even letting them in but I really like you Casey" Ilsa suddenly found the table rather interesting and didn't raise her head "And if I want have a friendship that actually has potential to be more then just mere acquaintance and a kind word here or there it's best to get this off my chest now I cant talk about a lot in my life but I think this is the easiest thing"

Casey was downright confused, she couldn't think of what Ilsa wanted her to know, she knew Ilsa didn't like to talk about herself, or her past or really much about anything to do with her at all, Casey was suddenly very curious as to who she was to meet, if they meant this much to Ilsa they must be very important _'maybe it is a girlfriend…wait why do I care if she has a girlfriend, its not I'm interested in her that way, she's just my friends, my incredibly confusing and odd friend'_

"So this person means so much to me and it's an understatement to say I'd give anything for them" Ilsa finished her little speech

Casey didn't know what to say right now so she just sat quietly contemplating whether or not it was a mistake to be friends with this woman sitting across from her. Ilsa seemed harmless enough but after that little rant Casey just wasn't quite sure, she was probably just being paranoid _'yeah I'm sure she just wants me to meet a really good friend or maybe another sibling although I thought she only had her brother'_

"They should be here soon, can you promise me something?" Ilsa asked

Casey nodded "What?" she asked

"Will you promise not to freak out get mad and hate me?" Ilsa asked biting her lower lip, she was nervous, she didn't let a lot of people in but Casey seemed like a good person, and Ilsa didn't really know why she wanted Casey to know about her she just did, so she crossed her fingers that Casey wouldn't up and bolt and never ever speak to her again _'I mean sure it's a big secret and it makes me seem like some crazy bitch for not telling people but I've got my reasons, might not be the best but I got them…Gods I sure hope Casey will still talk to me after this…'_

Casey was silent, taking in what had been asked of her, listening to the loud noises of other shoppers "I um… I promise" she said finally though she wasn't sure if it was a good idea to promise such a thing.

Ilsa let out a breath she wasn't aware she had been holding "OK" she smiled and stood up "Are you done?" she asked with a faint smile

Casey nodded and got up with her

"They said they'd meet us by the pet shop" Ilsa said

"You keep saying they, how many people am I meeting"

"I think you've already met Sam, it's the person with him I want you to meet"

Casey followed Ilsa, still looking in store windows and thinking about buying that new coat or whatever else caught the young lawyers fancy as they made there way past the shops to the mystery person Casey was to meet.  
_'Wonder who it is' _thought Casey as they continued to make their way through the crowd of shoppers, trying not to get to distracted, Casey was getting annoyed waiting to meet…whoever it was she was meeting.

A man waved at them, short blond hair and a bright smile, Ilsa could tell even from the distance it was her Sam, Casey turned and saw him waving at them, he lent down and started to talk to a young boy he had shaggy light brown hair and blue eyes _'who's that? He looks kind of like Ilsa'_ Casey smiled; she didn't know Sam that well but her seemed nice enough.

"Ilsa!" He exclaimed as he walked up to her, holding his arms out and crushing her in big hug "And hello to you Casey, enjoying your day?"  
Casey nodded "Yeah it's been good" she said with a smile  
"I can tell, you've got quite a few bags there, any shoe sales I should know about" he joked

Casey laughed "I think maybe I should be asking you that"

Ilsa smiled down at Josh "How's your day?" she asked as she bent he knees so she could get down to his level, or as close as she could get

Josh beamed "Great! We got a special collar made for my puppy, it's got her name on it and we got her a new chew toy!"

"Oh wow that is so cool! Have you spent all your birthday money yet?" Ilsa asked with a huge grin on her face.  
Josh shook his head "Not yet I still got some left"

Casey looked over at the two and Ilsa caught the look, standing back up she cleared her throat  
"Josh this is Casey Novak, we work together and she's one of my friends"  
Josh smiled but sill stood close to his mother

"Casey this is Joshua…my son"

Casey blinked her eyes "I-I'm sorry your what?" she asked not quite sure if she heard right _'did she say son?'_

"This is my son, I wanted you to meet him, I know I should have said something earlier and I'm sorry I didn't"

Josh and Sam just stood there quietly waiting to see Casey's reaction.

Josh walked over to the ADA and reached out his hand "Nice to meet you Miss Novak" he said shyly

Casey reached her hand out and shook his, not saying anything "You know I just realised I have some things I need to get done today" she said quickly they hurried off, Ilsa soon lost site of her friend in the crowd of people.

Ilsa sighed, she had hopped Casey would stay and she could explain, Josh tugged on his mothers shirt, trying to get her attention.  
"Mum did I do something wrong?" he asked upset he might have upset the woman and lost his mother a friend

"No son" she said pulling him close and giving him a hug "I didn't tell her I had you so I guess she's a little surprised about it"

"Why didn't you tell her about me, don't you like me?"

Ilsa scoffed and shook her head "Of course I like you, I love you son I just never got around to telling her, I'm sorry, if it makes you feel better from now on I'll tell everyone I know I have you"

Josh smiled and squeezed his mother harder "Wanna come home with me and play with the puppy? She's so awesome!"

Ilsa nodded, she wanted to talk to Casey but knew that the lawyer probably wouldn't want to talk to her right now, if she would ever talk to her again, it was one of the only times Ilsa felt bad about not telling people about her son, or her life, hopefully after a little cool down period Casey would talk to her again, although she was a little mad that she had just met her son then run off, the least she could have done was say hello...Fixing this mess was going to be a bitch…

**A/N I hope you all like it, if i can get the next chapter done it will be longer then this one (hopefully) and don't forget to let me know what you think Good, Bad somewhere in between, and i promise to try and get the next chapter done as soon as i can (But that doesn't mean tomorrow :) )**


	17. Chapter 17

**Yeah I'm still here and typing, Thank you to everyone who has reviewed it means a lot to me, and sorry I've been taking so long to update, I haven't had much Internet time lately but more chapters to come :) I hope you enjoy this one**

Ilsa had spent the last few days on Samuel's couch, spending as much time as she could with her son, and his newest best friend, she had even fallen asleep with Josh curled up next to her on the couch as his little brown fuzz ball in her lap, watching one of Josh's cartoons, that night they had sat up until two in the morning playing video games eating junk food and watching TV.

She was getting ready for work, she always had a stash of clothes left at her friend's house, it was after all her second home, she pulled on a pair of dark jeans, a button up red shirt and one of her leather jackets. She leaned down and kissed her son on the top of his head while he sat on the couch watching some show on TV and eating some breakfast, feeding a few bites to his pup, he smiled and held up the puppy for her to kiss too. Ilsa chuckled and let down kissing it, but pulling back when the puppy decided to stick its tongue up her nose.

Ilsa put on her bike helmet and sped off to work, not looking forward to the long day ahead of her, she hadn't spoken to Casey since she had walked away at the mall, Ilsa had left a message but never got a call back _'maybe she just needs more time'_ Ilsa thought as she made her way through the parking garage, she parked her bike and proceeded to make her way to the squad room.

"You've got visitors" Said Elliot as Ilsa hung her jacket up

"Who?" she asked as she made her way to get a cup of coffee, hoping it was a good batch

"Samantha and Emily" He said and pointed to the room they were in "Samantha said she wouldn't talk to anyone but you".

Ilsa turned and made her way, knocking before she slowly opened the door she gave a kind smile, she saw Emily sitting in a chair next to Samantha, her arm in a cast and the bruises on her face still visible though slowly starting to fade.

"Hey" she greeted warmly "You need anything?" she held up her cup.

Emily shook her head and Sam moved a little closer "What do you need to know?" Sam asked

"I need to ask Emily what really happened that night"

"I told you…"Emily said weakly, she didn't look at her friend- girlfriend, she couldn't bare the shame that someone else had touched.

"Emily I know your gay, that doesn't change anything, you didn't deserve this and we need to get the guy who did this" Ilsa said trying to convince the young lady to tell them what happened.

Sam looked at her lover and took her hand "It's ok, she's going to help, she can help, she wont tell anyone, no one has to know about us until your ready, I trust her you can two"

Emily shook her head and hid her face in Samantha's neck

"He could hurt someone else" Ilsa urged, her voice comforting and soothing

Emily sobbed "He wont, h-he wouldn't…"

"Who wouldn't?" Ilsa asked learning a little closer

Emily sobbed into Samantha's neck "He said he was going to show me how you really do it…how God intended it to be done…he said he was going to fuck me straight"

"What else did he say?" Ilsa said in that tone of voice she used for the victims

"That's he knew what I was, but it wasn't my fault, that I was corrupted by a 'whore' and he could save me, he wanted me to tell him I liked it, and that it was the right way, that I wanted him, Oh god Sam I'm so sorry" she cried.

Sam held on to her lover even tighter as her body racked with sobs against her. She wanted to help, to tell her that it wasn't her fault that it didn't make a difference; she was still in love with the woman in her arms and nothing would change that.

"Who Emily, who did it?" Ilsa's eyes and voice were pleading

"It was Asael…" Emily sighed against Samantha's neck.

***

Ilsa left the two women alone so she could update everyone else on what she had just been told. Now they somehow had to break his alibi, oh fun…

"Hey did you get anything?" Elliot asked as soon as he noticed Ilsa coming towards them.  
She nodded "Yeah, Emily said it was Asael Garcia who raped her"

Elliot looked at her confused "You sure? He has an alibi maybe she's mistaken"  
Ilsa shrugged "She said it was, so what if his alibi is lying, we don't know but we're going to find out".

"You think Joel lied about Asael to hide the fact he raped his sister?" Elliot asked with a raised eyebrow "Why would he do that?"

Ilsa shrugged again "Maybe he didn't know, maybe he was sworn to secrecy I don't know, but I'm damn sure going to try and find out"  
She picked up the phone and asked Joel if he could come in, she just had a few follow up questions to ask him. Now all she had to do was wait until he came to the station, then she could break him, get the truth. He told her he knew she wanted to talk and he'd make it as soon as he could.

Ilsa's head snapped up from her desk when she heard the click of heels and knew Casey was coming, she wanted to confront Casey about what had happened, she could catch her in the squad room, Casey wouldn't be able to run.

Casey walked through the doors and headed to Cragen's office, saying hi to Elliot as she passed; Ilsa couldn't help but feel a little sad that the young ADA hadn't even acknowledged her and walked through the office door. Ilsa looked down at the files on her desk and went to work, but she kept and eye and ear out for when Casey left the office.

Ilsa looked up and saw the door open slightly, she got ready to get up and go over to her, when she saw Casey step out with Donald behind her she moved, getting up she made her way over, trying not to draw attention.

"Hey, Casey can we talk?" Ilsa asked in a calm voice as she reached her  
Casey looked like she was about to say something but was interrupted when someone called to Ilsa, Ilsa's head snapped around and she saw Sam standing in the squad room, waiting for her, she turned back to Casey, but Casey had left while Ilsa was distracted and made her way back to her office. Ilsa sighed and walked over to woman

"what's up?" she asked with a smile  
Sam tugged at the bottom of her shirt "there is uh, something else we need to tell you" she said not looking Ilsa in the face.

"What is it?" Ilsa asked in a calm voice  
Sam nodded in the direction of the interview room where her lover was waiting "Can we talk about this is private, you know…"

Ilsa nodded and placed her hand on Samantha's lower back in a comforting way as they walked back into the room, opening the door, Sam went straight back to her girlfriend who wrapped her in a big hug. Ilsa took a seat across from them and smiled.

"Sorry" Emily mumbled looking away after she let go of Sam  
Ilsa chuckled "Don't be, I know what it's like, feeling like that about someone" Ilsa ran a hand through her hair "So what did you want to tell me"

Emily didn't look up at the detective and Sam seemed to find a spot on the wall very interesting all of a sudden  
"All right girls, whatever it is you can tell me" Ilsa urged gently

"I looked through my room the other day, after I got home and…" Emily said playing with her fingers

"And?"

"And some things were missing, I don't know who took them, no one else was even supposed to know about them!" she cried, Sam straight away took her girl into her arms and ran her fingers through her hair.

"What exactly was missing?" Ilsa asked leaning on the table in front of her

Emily sighed and sat up straight "Some pictures…Of Sam and me, you know…looking like a couple…"

Ilsa nodded in understanding "Intimate pictures, that you kept hidden so no one would know they had been taken" Ilsa summarised "Anything else"

Emily nodded "Some letters we wrote to each other were in a box where I kept everything"

"I need to know everything that was taken" Ilsa said passing some paper and her pen towards the two girls so they could write everything down

"There was something else missing…" Emily confessed  
Even Sam looked surprised at this "You didn't tell me anything had gone missing"  
Emily looked away "It was a tape; we had a few of us around town, hanging out, playing with Rose"

"Do you know what tape was taken?" Ilsa asked

She shook her head "I didn't have them labelled, I just didn't think anyone else would see them"  
Ilsa reached over and covered Emily's hand with her own "I promise we'll get who did this"  
"It was Asael I told you that"  
Ilsa smiled sadly "Yeah I know, but he had an alibi, so it's going to make it a little harder, I promise to do everything I can, I'm going to start after we're finished here, I promise"

Ilsa finished writing down in her notes and looked back up with a comforting smile "Anything else I need to know"  
Emily looked up at Samantha then quickly looked away, it didn't go unnoticed by Ilsa

"Emily?" the detective ask with a reassuring smile "Anything else you want to tell me?"  
"I uh…I-it's nothing really…"

"If it's bothering you it's important" Samantha said as she gave her girlfriends shoulder a comforting squeeze  
Emily shook her head and looked down at the table not raising her head

"Emily you can tell me, if it will help I need to know" Ilsa urged from across the table, hoping that Emily would tell her what was bothering her.

"I got a letter, a-a few days before it happened…that's why I was in the alley way… if had a picture and it said to meet or else they would tell everyone…" she admitted softly  
Samantha let go of her shoulder "I-Is that why you asked me to leave?" she asked getting angry

"Please Sammy I'm sorry" Emily pleaded  
"You lied to me, why didn you tell me? I could have helped you!"

"I was scared! I-I didn't want you to get hurt" Emily sobbed, tears streaking down her face "I'm sorry!"

Samantha shook her head and walked out the door, Ilsa was quick and grabbed her just on the other side "Where are you going?" Ilsa asked firmly

"Away from here" Sam snapped yanking her arm out of Ilsa's grip  
"You can't go" Ilsa said  
"Really? Just watch me" and with that Sam turned to walk out of the station

"Do you love her?" Ilsa asked before she got to far away  
The angry woman stopped and turned, her eyes brimming with tears "She lied to me" she said, her voice breaking

Ilsa walked closer and put her hands on the young woman's shoulders "Yeah she did, and she feels terrible about it, but she did it so nothing would happen to you" Ilsa explained evenly "Think about it, if you had have gone with her you might have been hurt to, or something even worse could have happened"

Tears fell from Sam's eyes and she wrapped her arms around Ilsa, Ilsa slowly brought her arms up and rubbed a hand up and down her back to comfort her

"I-I should have been there, I should have protected her" she sobbed into Ilsa's shoulder  
"No one knew that someone was going to do this, not even you could have known" Ilsa pulled back and looked into her eyes "I know your hurt that she lied, and that this had to happen to her, and you wish it didn't, and you want to take it all away but you cant and she needs you now"

Sam rubbed the tears in her eyes "How can I help her, I don't know what to do"  
Ilsa smiled "Just be there for her, let her know you still love her, that it's not her fault, do you really hate her for lying?"

Sam shook her head "No it's just…your right I wish it never happened, and I'm thinking if I had have known about the letter, then she would never have been hurt"  
Ilsa nodded and placed a hand on her upper arm "So why not come back in and talk to her"

Ilsa pulled on the girls arm a bit until she walked back into the room, where a distraught Emily had her head on the table crying her eyes out. Samantha's heart broke at the scene before her and she rushed to the opposite side if the table to and wrapped her up in a tight hug

Ilsa closed the door and silently took her seat as she watched the two women, trying not to interrupt the scene

"I'm sorry Emily I'm not mad really, I just wish I had known so I could have helped and then maybe this wouldn't have happened" Sam cried into her girlfriends neck

"I'm sorry to, I just didn't want anything to happen to you or Rose and-and"  
"Shh" Sam shushed her "It's ok it's over, now all we need to do is tell the truth and let Detective Couri do the rest and arrest Asael"

"I cant arrest him right now" Ilsa said regrettably "He has an alibi for the time of the assult, are you positive it was him?"

Emily nodded "Yes, it was him I swear"

Ilsa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose "Alright I'll do everything I can to help, and if you need anything else" She passed a card over "This has my home phone number on it, call if you need anything"

The two girls nodded "C-Can we go now?" Emily asked

***

Ilsa was standing in the squad room, a very intense look on her face, Samantha and Emily had left earlier, Emily looked drained and Samantha promised to take her back home so she could rest, letting Ilsa know if she needed anymore information to call one of them, they just wanted it all to stop, and Ilsa didn't blame them, she knew what it was like not to be able to sleep because the person who had hurt you was still out there, but she had promised to catch the man responsible and to do everything she had to, she wasn't about to break a promise.

Ilsa rubbed her chin in deep thought and Elliot glanced over from his desk trying to figure out what she was doing.

"What?" he finally asked her

Ilsa didn't even blink "Who should we go after?" she asked

Elliot looked confused "What do you mean?"

"Asael or Joel?, who would break easier and give us what we need, who do you think came up with the idea, all very good questions, and if we can get into Asael's place and search it for the missing tapes and photos whatever, it'll be all the easier"

"I'll ask Novak if we can get a warrant to search the place, but do we really think the brother did this?" Elliot asked trying to figure everything out.

"I would be surprised if he did, I think it was just Asael and Joel is just his alibi"

"So you really think this Asael kid did it? Everyone only has nice things to say about him, he's an all American boy" Elliot said from his desk

"Maybe we didn't ask the right people, just because he looks like an 'all American boy' as you put it, doesn't me he doesn't have a dark side, just because he's never been reported doesn't mean he hasn't hurt anyone else, we need to find out more about him, Emily said pictures and tapes were taken, Maybe he took them or maybe Joel gave them to him I don't know" Ilsa shook her head trying to get rid of an oncoming headache

"Maybe he went into her room one day while he was seeing Joel and took something, there is a lot of possibilities but either way Emily said it was Asael who raped her, maybe we should head back to the church and see if we cant find out anything else about him, we'll talk to Joel too, maybe we can get him to give up Asael"

Elliot nodded "Alright where to first?" he asked getting out of his chair and putting on his coat "Lets try the church first, see if anyone's opinion of him has changed recently" Ilsa said as she and Elliot headed out of the building.

"You ask Casey about a warrant and see about one for DNA too, I'll take Liv with me" Ilsa said pointing to the other female detective "She's in now"

Olivia was taking off her jacket when she looked over at the other detectives and sighed, putting her arm back into her jacket sleeve she walked out the door with Ilsa and they went off to find the information they needed

***

After explaining everything as they drove Ilsa and Olivia arrived at the church, Ilsa had put on a pair of sunglasses before she stepped out of the car, the sun was bright and she was trying to stop a headache, she waited for Olivia and the two fell into step as they made there way inside.

Ilsa and Olivia walked up to the first group of people they saw; a group of women chatting about something or other, when they got up to them they noticed that one of the women was Carrisa Taucher.

"Hello detectives" she said as she noticed the two women coming up to them  
"Carrisa, how are you today?" Asked Ilsa politely as she could  
"Fine dear, how can I help you?"

"Detective Benson and I were wondering if you could tell us about Asael Garcia" Ilsa said pushing her glasses to the top of her head

"Oh he is such a fine young gentleman not like a lot of the youth of today" The older woman said with a smile on her face "He has a sweet spot for my little girl, he's kicking himself that he couldn't help her"

Ilsa and Olivia looked at each other "Has he ever been in trouble before?" Asked Olivia  
"Only with those Reyes boys, horrible boys they are" Carrisa said disgusted

"Any other times?"

"Why are you asking about him? It was obviously one of those Reyes boys who hurt my girl, go arrest them!" she demanded angrily

"Please Carrisa" Ilsa urged "Were just trying to do our jobs, any other time?" she asked softly, trying not to get angry.

"Didn't Asael have trouble with another young person who used to go here?" Asked another woman who was standing around listening to the convocation

Ilsa turned and smiled "What other young person?"  
"A young girl, Raylene Jahnsen she was such a sweet young girl" the woman said

"Do you know where we can find her?" Ilsa asked  
"Oh heavens no she hasn't been here for a long time, no one knows what happened to the girl, but uh she and Asael didn't really get along"

"It was just a misunderstanding, Asael told me all about it, she was doing some very unnatural things and he tried to help her but she wouldn't listen, it was nothing serious" Carissa butted in

"Any other 'misunderstandings' we should know about?"

The glare Carrisa gave the other women in the group didn't go unnoticed by Ilsa and Olivia, but it shut the women up and none would say another word.

"No detectives you don't , Asael Garcia is a well respected young man, now why don't you go and do your jobs or do I need to find someone else to do it?" She asked with a sickly sweet smile on her face

Ilsa took a deep breath and squared her shoulders "We are perfectly capable to do our jobs ma'am we'll leave you ladies alone" Ilsa gave a slight bow before she turned around "Have a nice day" she called over her shoulders.

"So what now?" Olivia asked as she got into the drivers seat  
Ilsa knocked her glasses back down and smiled "We find this Raylene and hope she can help us, if nothing comes up with her we'll try Joel, someone is lying to us and I want to know who it is" Ilsa said as Olivia pulled out onto the road and started driving back to the station house.

After a few silent moments Olivia decided to ask her friends what was bugging her "So what's up, you've been weird all day"

Ilsa shook her head "I haven't been around you all day" she pointed out as they came to stop at a set of lights  
"I can tell when there is something bother you so spill"

Ilsa sighed "It's Casey…" she said glumly  
"Aw what?" Olivia asked in a mocking tone "You did it and she didn't call ?"

Ilsa reached over and smacked Olivia "OK first off, that's one of your friends don't be so mean and second no I didn't, I'm no into her that way"

Olivia chuckled "Riiiiight and I'm a leprechaun"  
Ilsa sighed "Doesn't matter if I do anyway she's straight"  
"So what's the problem?" Olivia urged as she pulled up "I want some food come on, tell me inside"  
Ilsa open the door "Fine but we get it to go!" she demanded "We've got work to do!"

As they placed their orders and waited for their food Olivia continued trying to get information from Ilsa "Soo, come on tell me, what's the point in being friends if we cant talk"

"I don't know I only keep you around for sex, you really have nothing else to offer" Ilsa quipped  
Olivia shook her head "Funny, but seriously Ilsa what's going on? what did Casey do?"

Ilsa rubbed her jaw "We went to the mall the other day, I wanted to introduce her to someone, a long story short we met up with Sam and Josh while were there, I tell her who Josh is and she just walk's away" she complained Olivia just kept quiet while her friend talked "And now she wont even talk to me, I just want to know why! Josh was upset after that he thought he'd done something wrong"

Olivia placed a friendly hand on Ilsa's shoulder "Maybe she just needs time, it can be a bit freaky meeting the son you never knew your friend had"

Ilsa sighed "I know, it's just…She walks off and I try to talk to her about it and she's ignoring me, I just want to know why, and Josh does to because he still thinks he's done something he shouldn't have to make his mums friend walk off"

"So what happened when she met him?"

"She walked up and shook his hand then said something like 'I just remembered I have some stuff to do' and left like her ass was on fire"

Their order came and Olivia grabbed the bag "So maybe she'll come around and if not I'm sure you can get her too"

"Yeah" Ilsa grumbled as she got in the car and they went back to the precinct.

***  
They made it back to the precinct and sat done at their desks to eat their lunch, Ilsa got to work seeing if she could find anything on Raylene Jahnsen, She picked up the phone and punched in a number, waiting for someone on the other end to pick up, a few more rings and someone picked up  
"Hello?" Asked the person on the other end  
"Hi Samantha It's Detective Couri"

"What have you found out?" Sam asked quickly

"Nothing really I was wondering if you new a girl named Raylene Jahnsen she used to go to your church"  
"Uh…" Sam paused trying to remember if she ever knew the girl "Yeah I kinda knew her, she was nice but I heard that she was having trouble with some people at the church and left"  
"Any idea where she might be now? I need to ask her some questions"  
"No sorry I don't know, maybe you could try find her sister, I think her name was Tanya Jahnsen"

"Thank you Sam, I promise I'm doing everything I can"  
Sam smiled "I know, bye detective" she said before she hung up the phone and all Ilsa heard was the dial tone.  
As soon as she put down the phone on her desk her mobile rang, she picked it up quickly and answered in her usual way, when she finished the quick phone convocation she made her way to the Captains office.

Olivia watched from her desk as her friend came out and grabbed her jacket  
"What's going on?" Asked Olivia  
"I got a call from Josh's school he's not feeling well so I'm going to pick him up, could you do me a favour if you have time?"

Olivia nodded "Yeah sure what is it?"  
Ilsa gave the name to Olivia "This is Raylene Jahnsens sister's name, I was thinking if we can find her we might be able to find Raylene, would you mind checking out the name, I can do all the foot work when I'm back"

Olivia nodded and Ilsa went out the doors to pick her son up from school.

**Another one down! i don't know when I'll have the next chapter up, not having alot of internet accsess kind of affects updating, i hope you all liked it and look forward to the next chapter :) Please R&R**


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry i disappeared for a while, haven't had alot of Internet time and my house got broken into the other day and we're still dealing wiht that, hopefully you like this chapter and when i can i'll post the next one, thanks :)**

Ilsa was sitting on her couch in an old shirt and a pair of shorts, reading a book, listening to the TV and talking to her sons puppy, she had picked him up from school and taken him back to her place, once there he started asking for his dog so Ilsa had to drive to her friends place to pick it up, although it wasn't so bad, Josh was quiet after that, she had put him to bed a short while ago and while she was trying to read the case was mulling around in her head.

"I think it was the Asael kid but I cant prove it while he has an alibi, maybe I need to talk to Joel and see what he has to say" Ilsa said to the puppy curled up in her lap, it looked up and let out a high pitched bark

"Yeah I think he's not as nice as he acts to" She reached down and scratched the softy furry head, her convocation with the puppy drifted after that to other things about the case, and the book she was reading, and also the TV playing quietly in the back ground.

Olivia had come to see her during the day, she was asking about warrants for the Taucher case and another case she was working at the time. Before Olivia left her office she mentioned to Casey what Ilsa had told her, so now here she stood, in front of Ilsa's door, holding two bags, contemplating knocking or not, she could here talking from inside and thought the other woman might have company.

She brought her fist up and gently rapped it against the door half hoping someone would answer and half hoping no one would.

Ilsa got off the couch and slowly made her way over to the door and looked through the peephole to see who was on the other side, she sighed when she saw who exactly it was. She opened the door and lent against the door jam, an unimpressed look on her face

"What?" she asked clearly not very happy to be seeing the ADA at her home

"I um…" Casey was at a loss for words, she hadn't expected Ilsa to be this cold to her

"Look you came here for a reason Casey what is it"

Casey held up the two bags she was holding "A peace offering" she said with a small smile  
Ilsa raised an eyebrow but sighed and moved out of the way so Casey could pass her.

"Is there someone else here?" Casey asked as she placed the bags down on a counter looking around for the person she thought Ilsa was talking to.

Ilsa shook her head as she closed the door "No one is in this room but me"

"Oh…" Casey mumbled softly "I thought I heard you talking to someone"

Ilsa chuckled "I was" she went over to the couch and picked up her convocation partner, Casey smiled when she saw the dog. "It's cute" she said "Wait you were talking to your dog?"

Ilsa nodded "Yeah so? and besides you never said what you were doing here"  
Casey pulled some boxes out of one of the bags "A peace offering" she said "I want to apologise for how I acted the other day…it was wrong of me"

"Damn right it was wrong! But you shouldn't be apologising to me" Ilsa said firmly "I've been through worse, it's Josh you need to talk to, he thought he did something wrong when you just walked off like that"

"Is he here?"

Ilsa nodded "But it can wait, he's not feeling well and I just got him to bed"

"Oh ok" Casey said eyeing the small puppy, Ilsa smiled when she noticed  
"Would you like to hold her?" she moved closer to Casey and held out the dog for her friend to take

It straight away started to lick Casey's chin "she's very affectionate, what her name"

"I didn't name her she's Josh's, I got her for his birthday and he named her" Ilsa said still smiling

"Aw that's nice, so what did he call her?"

Isa chuckled as she remembered the name her son had chosen for his puppy "Her name is Amadeus"  
Casey tried not to laugh "You're kidding right?" she asked, Ilsa shook her head  
"I think it's a nice name, and she is his puppy I have no choice but to love the name" Ilsa looked over at the boxes and the last remaining bag "So what else did you bring"

Casey set Amadeus on the floor and pulled out some DVD's "You said you were feeling home sick so I thought you might like these"

Ilsa laughed as she looked through the titles "You got me Chinese food and Australian movies to make up for how you acted?"

Casey blushed and looked away, but still nodded her head

Ilsa smiled "Well then you're watching them with me and I'm not taking no for an answer"  
"I-I don't want to intrude"  
"Casey" Ilsa said firmly "You came to my house in with Chinese food and DVD's and you say you didn't want to intrude I think it's a little late for that" Ilsa said with a grin "Besides, I figuring making you watch hours of Australian moves, where you cant understand the slang seems like good punishment"

Casey looked down to hide her smile, she had had a bad night and spending time with Ilsa seemed a lot better then what she was doing earlier.

"Want something to drink?" Ilsa asked as she walked to the kitchen "I've got juice, soda and a multitude of alcoholic beverages"

"Do you have any wine?" Casey called to her

"Yup just take everything over to the couch but don't let Amadeus eat any of it" Ilsa called as she rummaged around pulling two glasses out and grabbing the bottle she walked out to the living room and smiled as she saw Casey setting the food around the coffee table in front of her couch.

Ilsa walked over and looked though the titles, decided to put in _'The Castle'_ she then sat down next to Casey, grabbing one of the boxes and starting to eat, they were quiet throughout the movie, mostly due to the fact that Casey looked confused as the movie went on. Ilsa laughed along, and couldn't help but chuckle and the look on Casey's face that only seemed to leave once the movie finished

"So did you like it?" Ilsa asked trying not to laugh again  
"Uh…" Casey didn't know what to say, if she had have known it would be like that, she wouldn't have gotten it for Ilsa

Ilsa tried but could stop the laugh "That is a classic Aussie film but it's not too big in America"  
Casey nodded and Ilsa just shook her head  
"You can put another movie on" Ilsa said leaning back on her couch, she motioned to the entertainment rack where the TV was sitting "The movies are underneath it"

"You don't want to watch another movie I bought?" Casey asked wondering if she made a mistake

Ilsa smiled "No I do, I just don't think you do, Aussie humour can be hard to understand and I think I punished you enough with the last movie"

Casey smiled back and moved off of the couch to go through her friends movies  
"I've got everything, action, comedy, horror, cartoons and romance so take you pick" Ilsa said from the couch as she leaned forward to pour another drink for her and Casey.

Casey was shaking her head at some of the movies in her friend's collection seems she didn't favour just one genre "The Lion King Ilsa?" Casey asked as she saw the title.

Ilsa smiled "Yeah, it's a good movie and you're never too old for Disney"  
"What's your favourite movie?" Casey asked while she continued to go through the titles in front of her trying to find something to watch.

Ilsa shrugged then handed Casey another glass of wine "It all depends, but if this isn't to your liking I have some adult entertainment somewhere in the house"

Casey's jaw dropped "Tell me you're kidding"  
Ilsa smiled sheepishly "About watching it or owning it?"  
The young ADA shook her head and got up off the floor "Why don't we see what's on TV"

Ilsa shrugged "Whatever floats your boat"

The two settled back onto the couch and Ilsa tossed the remote to Casey who started flipping through the channels. There wasn't really anything on.

Ilsa was swirling the liquid around the glass she held in her hands, Amadeus had jumped on the couch and was curled between the two women. "So what plans did you have tonight, I can't think that coming to my place would rank high"

Casey stoped channel searching and sighed "I uh…had a date tonight" she admitted sourly  
Ilsa scoffed "And you chose to pass up whatever find piece of candy asked you out for a night with me, well Casey either you really have a thing for me or you're just plan xrazy"

Casey blushed slightly _'I don't have a thing for her'_ "It was just a bad date, and spending time with you isn't so bad"

"Oh I better be careful" Ilsa teased "You just admitted it isn't a bad thing to spend time with me and you've been drinking, do I need to move or can you refrain from throwing yourself at me"

Casey groaned and threw a pillow that was sitting on the couch at Ilsa's face "Are you ever going to let me live that down! One time, one time!"  
Ilsa laughed "Actually it was more then once you sought me out when drunk and no I will not let you live it down, what kind of friend would I be if I did"

Casey smiled shyly "So were still friends?"  
Ilsa sighed but smiled anyway "You ran when I told you I have a son, makes me wonder if I should tell you anything else about me if all you'll do is run"

The lawyer looked away "I deserve that"

"But" Ilsa said reaching across and placing her hand gently on her friends shoulder "I still like you, for some strange reason, I don't normally like people or let them in, but…I guess what I'm saying is yeah where still friends"

Casey couldn't help but smile "Good, cause for some strange reason I like you to"  
"It's not a strange reason, it' called lust Casey"  
Casey smacked Ilsa "Can you be serious for one minute"

Ilsa shrugged "Where's the fun in that"

Casey shook her head, then rolled her shoulder, she was tired and stressed after a long day and a horrible date.

"Come here" Ilsa sat pointing to the ground at her feet, Casey looked sceptical, Ilsa just sighed and pulled her to the ground, moving Casey's hair she slowly massaged her shoulders.

"That's nice" Casey smiled

"This is one of the perks of having a friend, there here to listen and give really good neck rubs" Ilsa kept moving slowly, working the nots "Damn your tense" she commented

Casey nodded but kept quiet, enjoying the sensation, feeling the tension just drift away, when Ilsa moved her hands and hit another spot Casey had to stop herself from letting out a gasp

"So tell me about your date, was he a fine hunk of man meat?" Ilsa asked trying not to laugh  
"What?" Casey asked laughing at the choice of words  
"You know, was he cute or whatever describing words you hetero's use"  
The woman on the floor shook her head "Yes he was cute and he seemed really nice and charming"

"So what made you want to come and see me and not have a wild night with your new boy toy" Ilsa asked as she kept her hands moving but leaned forward so her head was next to Casey's "I mean why would you want to give up a fine man to hang out with your lesbian friend…unless your trying to tell me something" she said wiggling her eyebrows

Casey lifted her hands and pushed Ilsa away "He just wasn't what I'm looking for"  
"What? Not tall enough, Rich enough? Tell me if I guess"

Casey sighed "He wouldn't stop talking about himself and his work, he was stuck up and insisted on ordering for me, I didn't like it and…"

Ilsa pushed her thumbs in right next to her spine "aaaaand? Come on what else, im hear for you to talk to so talk, make good use of me!"

"And he expected me to put out after" Casey said with a bit of sadness in her voice  
"Why didn't you" Casey leaned forward when she heard that but Ilsa grabbed her again "I mean" she said tyring to choose better words "Did he not appeal to you sexually or is it a rule 'no sex on the first date' what?"

Casey sighed and settled back into the touch "I didn't like him enough to even want to, and that he expected it just made it worse"

"Well he's officially and idiot"  
Casey chuckled "And why is that?"  
"Cause someone would have to be and idiot or insane to treat you like that"  
Casey smiled and a slight blush crawled up her cheeks "Thanks…"  
"You should date a woman" Ilsa said absently  
"Are you offering?" Casey shot back  
Ilsa smiled "Would you say yes if I was?"

Casey didn't reply to that, she just sat quietly looking at the ground, she watched as the puppy jumped off the couch and went off into another room.

Casey still sat quietly, she had been brought up to think that homosexuality was wrong, well not exactly wrong just wrong for her, but since meeting Ilsa she was changing her mind… and it was confusing her.

"So then how's your romantic life?"

Ilsa laughed "What romantic life?" she joked  
"I know you got that girl from the coffee shops number, how did it go?"  
Ilsa sighed "It didn't, to much to drink led to lose tongues on her part and she started talking about how her boyfriend didn't appreciate her and she just wanted to try someone new, long story short I'm not going to see her again"

"I'm sorry to hear that" Said Casey sincerely

"Eh I'm not, she wasn't really my type anyway, but I figured I'd give her a chance" Ilsa kept her hands going over Casey's shoulders, feeling the tension leaving her friend.

They sat there for how ever long, neither one was really paying attention, just enjoying the actions, Ilsa stopped when Casey moved and stood up, coming to sit done next to her friend, she didn't look to happy.

"Hey Casey what's wrong? I'm not that bad at shoulder rubs am I?"

Casey shook her head "No it's not that…just a long day, you know"  
Ilsa smiled and nodded, handing The ADA her glass of wine "Then I say drink up"  
Taking the cup with a smile, Casey took a long drink for it before placing it back on the table in front of her

"Can I ask you something Ilsa?" she asked looking at the TV  
Ilsa nodded "Yeah sure, not need to ask me first"  
"When did you realise you were a…um you know"  
Ilsa couldn't help herself and chuckled "A lesbian? I don't really no when I realised it, I've only ever been sexually attracted to one man my entire life, everyone else has been a woman, so everyone, including myself figured I was a lesbian, though truth be told I don't believe in labels"

"What do you mean labels?" Casey asked turning to look at her friend

"Well I think it's more then just liking men or women, I think it's about finding someone you love, regardless of gender, someone who loves you for who you are, that you want to spend everyday with"

"And that's what you found in all of you previous relationships?"

Ilsa smiled "Well….three out of four anyway"

"What was wrong with the last one?" Casey asked, remember how Ilsa had mentioned her previous girlfriend and how it hadn't been a great thing

Ilsa sighed "I thought she was an amazing women when we first met, she was nice to me and treated me good" She paused and took a deep breath, this wasn't a topic she liked to talk about but she was going to anyway, well most of it "And then she changed, or rather she stopped pretending to be someone she wasn't and started to be herself, and I didn't like who she was"

"Why did you stay with her then?" Casey scooted a bit closer, she could see Ilsa wasn't enjoying talking about it

"It's an understatement to say I have a strange view on relationships and sex and…I just thought it was what I deserved" Ilsa let out a soft chuckle "I'm a little messed up in the head"

"And since her you haven't dated because you cant get over her?"

Ilsa shook her head "No, I'm over her…for the most part I just haven't found anyone and the people I could see my self being with are" she looked into Casey's eyes and smiled "Other wise unattainable."

Casey didn't look away, but her heart started to beat faster, she reached her hand out and grabbed Ilsa's right hand pulling it to her "Why did you get it?" she changed the topic as she traced her fingers over the ink on Ilsa's arm.

Ilsa swallowed and took a deep breath _'she's your straight friend Ilsa, it's never going to happen, don't be an idiot and chase her away'_ she watched Casey's fingers trailing around the swirls on her arm "I uh…it was a message"  
Casey didn't look up, just turned Ilsa's arm over and started tracing again "I'm not sure I'm getting a message from this"

"It's um…kind of a private message" Ilsa said closing her eyes and enjoying the sensations travelling up her arms  
"OK so what's the message"

"The message is 'it's my body and I'll do what I want with it'…"  
"You got your arm tattooed because it's your body and you'll do want you want?"  
Ilsa smiled "Yeah, but it's not just my arm"

Casey stopped touching Ilsa's arm "There's more? I thought you only had 3 tattoo's"  
Ilsa laughed "Oh I do only have three it's just this one is a big one"  
"How big?" Casey asked raising an eyebrow  
"Let's just say I would have to get naked for you to see the whole thing, and I don't think you would like that"

"Who says I wouldn't like it?" Casey asked boldly  
Ilsa froze "Well even if you want to see me naked I'm not about to drop my pants in the longue room"

They sat there in silence, just looking at each other, the wine was starting to take affect on Casey, she leaned closer and reached out to touch Ilsa's neck, Ilsa jerked but didn't stop her, Casey's fingers rested on the side and traced across a scar that resided there.

"You've got a lot of these" she said  
Ilsa smirked at her "What necks?"  
Casey shook her head but didn't laugh "Scars…how'd did you get it?"  
Ilsa reached up and take Casey's hand, pulling it away from her neck "I got cut, a long time ago" she said dryly

Again Casey grabbed Ilsa wrist, this time running her fingers along the scars that ran across there "And these ones? Did you just 'get cut' or did you hurt yourself?"

Ilsa tensed, she really didn't want to answer that question, normally when someone would ask that she would change the topic, or run, but she could do that, one) it was her apartment and two) her son was here, she couldn't leave him.

"I think you already know the answer to that Casey" she said solemnly  
"I want to hear you say it" The ADA said softly, still tracing the lines that covers her friends wrist  
"What do you want to hear? That I cut myself" Ilsa said, getting slightly irritated "Yeah ok I cut myself, or at least I did"

Casey didn't say anything, she just moved closer to her friend "When did you start?"  
Ilsa sighed "I was a lot younger it seemed to help with what was happening around me…To me" she uttered quietly "I kind of got used to it over the years"  
Casey seemed to accept that answer for know, because she nodded and slowly let go of the captive wrist "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up a sensitive topic"

"Yes you did" Ilsa said but her voice wasn't harsh "But it's ok…i guess"

Casey's eyes were getting heavy, she knew she should go, but she couldn't find the energy to move "It's late…" she said with a yawn

Ilsa smiled "Yeah it is, do you want to spend the night?"

The younger woman was already on her way to sleep "yeah…sure" she mumbled groggily leaning into Ilsa further

"Casey?" Ilsa asked "Caaaaasey?" she moved her head and saw the others woman's eyes were already closed _'oh for crying out loud, I could handle the odd flirt, the touching, the sleeping in the same bed, but I don't think I can handle her sleeping on top of me'  
_Ilsa sighed, resigned to her fate, she shifted, Casey was out of it and didn't wake up as Ilsa moved so that the other woman was between her legs with her head resting on her chest.

Ilsa reached for the remote and switched off the TV, she sat there in the darkened room, the only light coming from the moon and streetlights outside the window, looking down she smiled sadly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of the other woman's head.

"I swear you're going to be the death of me Casey" Ilsa said softly as she wrapped her arms around her, feeling her snuggle deeper into her body "If you knew what you were doing to me I doubt you'd still be my friend, I like you Casey, more then I should and I don't know why…I'd never try anything with you, and I probably wont ever really tell you, but it feels a little better to say it out loud for one instead of keeping it inside, i hate that you keep bringing back painful memories but it's kind of nice that you care " Ilsa leaned her head back and sighed "I'm glad you're my friend Casey"

"I'm glad I'm your friend too" Casey muttered sleepily into Ilsa's chest.  
Ilsa tensed, wondering how much of her confession the woman actually heard "Goodnight" she said  
"night" she heard the soft whispered before she fell into a deep sleep.

**Reviews aren't mandatory but they are nice, and i'll try get another chapter up once all the stuff happening at home stops, thanks for reading :)**


	19. Chapter 19

** Yay another chapter, Hope you enjoy it, the next chapter will be posted...i don't really have a time frame :P**

Ilsa woke up with a gasp, blinking back tears in her eyes trying to get them to adjust, she was breathing heavily _'another night another nightmare'_ she thought bitterly, Ilsa looked down and noticed Casey was still asleep on her, she let out a chuckle as she saw the line of drool. Ilsa knew she wouldn't get back to sleep, she lifted her wrist to look at her watch '4:00am' it read, she let out an angry groan as she let her head fall back, she knew she wouldn't get back to sleep, but she couldn't move because of Casey.

Casey woke up slowly, snuggling deeper into her pillow under her head trying to get a few more minutes sleep, her brow furrowed as she realised her pillow was warm and slowly rising and falling she could breathing coming from it, Casey turned her head and looked up and saw Ilsa's face _'oh crap'_ she thought as she sat up quickly, she wiped the drool from her face and saw she was in between Ilsa's legs _'oh don't tell me something happened, why cant I be normal around her after I've had a few to drink'_

Ilsa wasn't sleeping, she just had her eyes closed as she waited for Casey to wake up on her own, when she felt Casey move off of her she saw the look on her friends face  
"Morning sleepyhead" she said with a warm smile

"Um…Morning" Casey said looking around and taking in the surroundings, the TV across from them, the coffee table that was littered with food boxed and glasses, and the empty bottle of wine _'oh no…'_  
"If your wondering, the sex was A-ma-zing! but I thought you might be a little uncomfortable so I put your clothes back on" Ilsa said seriously her face showing no emotion

Casey looked mortified "We didn't…did we?...i didn't think I drink that much, oh god" she groaned covering her eyes  
Ilsa bit her lip to stop laughing, but she couldn't stop a snicker that escaped.

Casey saw the look on Ilsa's face and she slapped Ilsa in the arm "Don't do that!" she yelled at her still slapping her playfully  
Ilsa couldn't stop laughing "Ok ok!" she said between laughs "I'm sorry, but the look on your face was priceless"  
Casey was shaking her head and noticed the wet spot on her friends shirt "Uh…sorry" she mumbled embarrassed that she had drooled in her sleep, turning her face as her cheeks turned red.

"Ah it's ok, it's not the first time that's happened" Ilsa said rubbing at the spot  
"So I didn't do anything stupid last night?" Casey asked hopefully  
Ilsa shook her head and smiled "You've never done anything stupid around me"  
"So um what time is it?" The ADA asked trying to change the subject

"6:30" Ilsa said looking at her watch "Time to get up"  
"How long have you been awake?"  
Ilsa scratched her head from her position on the couch "since 4, give or take a few minutes"  
"Why didn't you get up then?"  
Ilsa tilted her head getting Casey to look at how they were on the couch, Casey was kneeling between Ilsa's legs "You looked adorable while you were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you…" Ilsa admitted with a slight blush

"Aw that's really sweet" Casey said with a grin "And stupid, next time wake me"  
Ilsa rolled her eyes "Next time don't fall asleep on me, now move your butt I have to get breakfast ready and clean up"

Casey slowly got up off the couch, as Ilsa sat up they could both hear a few bones cracking and popping  
"That didn't sound good" Casey said looking as Ilsa rubbed her neck "See you should have woken me up"  
Ilsa chuckled as she stretched her stiff muscles, a few more soft cracks came from her bones "It was worth it to wake up with a beautiful woman in my arms" she said as she stood up and grabbed the empty bottle and glasses, heading to her kitchen.

Casey didn't say anything; she didn't really know what to say _'is she flirting with me? Don't think about it Case, she flirts with everyone'_, she thought as she reached down and picked up the empty boxed that had once contained their dinner the previous night, walking to the kitchen she looked around for the bin and threw them in.

Ilsa had already started getting to work on breakfast, pulling out some bacon and eggs, she also pulled a carton of orange juice out "Anything specific you want to eat?" she asked Casey without turning to look at her  
"Uh…no whatever you make will be fine" she said taking a seat on the counter near Ilsa "But I'd love some coffee"  
Ilsa smiled and got to work making the coffee for her and Casey.  
Ilsa pulled out a spoon and opened the sugar, heaping four spoon full's into her coffee, Casey took a sip for her cup and just watched "Would you like some coffee with your sugar" she joked

Ilsa smiled "What can I say, I'm addicted to sweet things" and she finished with her sugar she took a long drink and let out a satisfied moan. Casey watched with a smile "What? I need some form of sugar or I can't function" Ilsa defended herself.

Ilsa placed her cup down and got started with cooking the bacon, laying it in the frying pan, she pulled a face as it started to sizzle and spat at her, hitting her arm, she let the bacon cook while she pulled out a bowl and started to crack the eggs into it.

Casey watched from her perch as Ilsa went about her morning routine, moving from eggs to bacon to coffee cup "Anything I can do?" Casey asked  
Ilsa nodded "Can you grab some plates for me" she said pointing to the cupboard that had all the dishes in it

Casey nodded but Ilsa didn't see as she went back to breakfast "How do you like your bacon?" Ilsa asked  
The younger woman thought for a minute, it had been a while since she had had a home cooked breakfast "uh…crispy" she said placing the plates next to Ilsa.

The Australian nodded and started to dish out the eggs and bacon once they were cooked, she turned and walked to her sons room and knocked on the door "Wakey Wakey eggs and bakey!" she called to him then she turned and headed back to start on her breakfast.

Casey and Ilsa had already started eating when a tired Josh walked out rubbing his eyes, he blinked his eyes and few times and focused on Casey, he looked down at the ground and slowly walked to take a seat at the table.

Ilsa gave Casey a slight kick to the shin, The ADA glared at the woman until Ilsa nodded at her son, Casey saw he kept his head down and didn't make a sound.  
Casey let out a sigh then stood up and walked over to the young boy, she kneeled by his seat  
Casey didn't really know what to say, she didn't talk to kids a lot and was afraid she'd screw this up "Hi Josh, remember me?" she asked, he just nodded but didn't look up  
"I wanted to apologise for how I acted the other day"  
He looked up slowly, a cautious look on his face  
Casey smiled "I was just a little…surprised, I didn't know your mom had a son"  
"So it's not because you don't like me or my mum?" he asked quietly

Casey smiled and gently placed her hand on his shoulder "of course not and I'm sorry, can you forgive me?"  
Josh looked up at her, then to his mother a look of serious contemplation on his face, Ilsa raised an eyebrow wondering what he would do.  
"Ok you're forgiven Miss Novak" he said then turned back to eat his breakfast

Casey went back to her seat too while Ilsa sat grinning from her spot at the table  
"Oh and you can call me Casey" she said to the little boy, who just nodded with a mouth full of food.  
Ilsa finished and went to take her plate to the kitchen, while she had her back turned Josh pulled off some of his bacon and held it under the table, he could feel the soft fur rub against his hand as the bacon was taken from his fingers  
"Now I know you're not trying to feed Amadeus under the table….right?"

Josh looked shocked and Casey couldn't stop the laugh that escaped, Ilsa turned with a smirk on her face  
"how did you know!" her son asked  
She laughed "Magic" she answered back waving her hands around, she kept walking over to him and held her hand to his forehead "You feeling better today?" she asked sympathetically  
Josh nodded  
"You think you could go a whole day at school?"  
He nodded again "I've got some stuff I need to do"

Ilsa grinned "And this 'stuff' wouldn't have anything to do with your girlfriend right?"  
Josh went bright red in the face "Muuuum! She's not my girlfriend" he said before running off to his room to get ready, his puppy right behind him.

"Did you have to embarrass him?" Asked Casey as she picked up her plate  
Ilsa nodded "It's a mothers right to embarrass her children" she said very seriously  
The two made their way to the kitchen and Ilsa washed the plates and everything else that needed to be cleaned.  
"Thank you for breakfast, it was really nice, been a while since I had a home cooked meal"  
"Gee I can't imagine why" Ilsa said sarcastically, Casey saw the smile so she didn't take any offence. "Well um...I better get going I need to get ready for work"  
"No just wait around I'll give you a lift to your place when I drop Josh off"  
Casey just smiled and took a seat on the kitchen counter

"This may sound odd but do you want anything for lunch?" Ilsa asked as she reached into the fridge bringing out everything she needed to make Josh's lunch.  
Casey laughed "Are you serious?" seeing the look on Ilsa's face she stopped laughing "Uh, no I'm fine" she said

Ilsa got done with the sandwich and put everything away "OK well I'm going to go and get ready, help yourself to anything if your still hungry I wont be long"

Casey nodded and made her way back to the longue room while Ilsa went to the bathroom, Casey heard the water start running and just looked around taking in everything, the pictures around the room, the game systems around the TV _'damn she really is a game nerd'_ Casey thought as she looked at the many consoles and other accessories sitting by the TV.

She felt like she was being watched and turned to see Josh standing behind the couch with Amadeus in his hands, wagging her tail happily, he walked over and sat on the couch still giving the woman a very intense look.

"Do you like my mum?" he asked petting the digs head  
"Uh…" Casey didn't really know how to answer "Yeah I like your mom" Casey couldn't help but think that him sitting like that patting his dogs head made him look like a villain from oh so many movie's and shows  
"Are you going to treat her like that other lady?" he asked  
"What other lady?" Casey asked confused _'maybe he means her ex-girlfriend'_ "No I wouldn't treat her like that…was the other lady mean to her?"  
Josh nodded sadly "Mum never said anything…and I didn't see anything I just knew" he said unhappily

Casey smiled "Hey" she said and Josh looked at her "I'm not going to do anything like that, I'd never hurt your mother"  
"Promise?" he asked with bright eyes, Casey couldn't help but smile wider  
"Yeah, promise!" she said enthusiastically

"Then it's ok with me" he said before jumping of the couch and heading back to his room.

"Wait…what's ok with you?" Casey called after the young boy, but he quickly ran into his room.

Ilsa walked out, freshly showered and in a pair of dark jeans and a red shirt with a few buttons undone, showing off her white undershirt, she had a towel over her head and was still drying her hair "What's all the yelling about?" she asked

"Nothing" Casey said looking over Ilsa "Not wearing a vest today" she teased, though she didn't take her eyes off of her friend  
"Ha ha" Ilsa said, trying to sound upset but failing, she pulled off the towel and sat down on the ground pulling on her boots, rolling her jeans over them after she had them laced.

She got off the ground and smiled at her friend "You almost ready Josh?" she called  
"Why do we have to leave so early?" he yelled back through his closed door  
"Because we need to drop Casey home"  
He came out of his room with his backpack, Amadeus following as usual "What about her?" he asked pointing to the dog at his feet

"She'll be ok, Sam's going to come past later and check on her, if he has to he told me he'd take her till we get home" Ilsa explained  
Josh thought for a moment but decided it would be ok, if his dad was going to come past to check on his dog.

Ilsa brushed her hair quickly and grabbed her leather jacket before opening the door, Casey walked past and thought Ilsa looked good in leather _'oh god what am I think! I'm going crazy'_ she though as she passed.

Josh tugged on his mothers sleeve "Hmm? what is it son?" she asked as she watched Casey, he pulled her closer  
"She's ok with me" he said before brushing past, Ilsa gave her son a quizzical look and made a mental note to talk to him later about what he meant.

They all got into the car, Ilsa in the drivers seat, Casey in the front seat and Josh in the back, she slowly pulled out and onto the road heading to Casey's apartment. Casey bit her lip to stop from laughing as Ilsa plugged her iPod in and told Josh to pick a song, he scrolled through the selection and picked out one, Both of them started to sing along as they drove. Ilsa pulled up out the front of Casey's place and let the ADA get out

"I had a very nice time last night counsellor you'll have to come over again" Ils said with a smile  
"Sure, I'll see you later today, and I'll see you later to Josh" she said before she stepped out of the car.  
"Bye Miss Casey!" Josh called while he crawled into the front seat, the two waved goodbye as she pulled out and drove off down the street, leaving Casey to get ready for her day at work. ****

I hope you all liked this chapter, please Read and Review, you don't have to but it's always nice :)  



	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed It made me smile and work on more of this story, i hope you like this chapter i tried to get the idea from my head onto the screen and i hope it worked, enjoy :)**

Ilsa arrived at the precinct on time and walked through the large doors into the familiar squad room, she sounds of people rushing around, shoes stamping onto the floor and people talking about this or that echoed around her, she went to get a cup of coffee before she started with her work, and as usual it was practically sludge.

She took her cup and walked over to her desk, draping her jacket over the back, she turned to see if Olivia were anywhere in the room, wondering if she had gotten the information she had asked for the previous day. Not seeing her at her desk, Ilsa went to ask Elliot if he had seen his partner yet.

"Hey Elliot is Liv in yet?" she asked as she walked to his desk  
"She's around somewhere, but she said she left something for you on her desk" he said not looking up from the paper work he was currently working on.

Ilsa moved to Olivia's desk and went through the papers and folders she found there looking for whatever Olivia had left her, she figured if it was important she'd know it once she found it.  
After digging through a pile she found an address for Tanya Jahnsen but nothing in Raylene _'hmm that's odd, ah well maybe she'll tell us about her sister and we can figure out what Asael did to her'_

Ilsa took the paper to her desk and pulled her jacket on, she turned around to leave a bumped into Olivia "oh damn sorry Liv" Ilsa said making sure her friend was ok.  
"it's ok" Olivia replied in a glum tone

"You ok Liv? You seem a little off today"  
"Yeah I'm fine" Olivia said quickly, she didn't feel like talking about what was bothering her, she needed to change the subject "Where are you off to?"  
Ilsa held up the paper "Going to talk to Tanya Jahsen see if we cant find her sister, she and Asael had some kind of disagreement, want to come?" Ilsa offered, thought she didn't mind one way or the other

Olivia shrugged "Yeah sure"  
They walked silently to the car, Ilsa knew when not to talk to Olivia, she had known her long enough, plus she had pulled the silent routine enough times.

The two detectives pulled up outside a block of flats, making their way to the address Olivia had found, they stood in front of the door, Ilsa raised her fist and knock on the door, she wasn't sure if anyone was even home.  
A few seconds later the detectives heard she pounding of feet on the floor, letting them know that someone was indeed inside the apartment.

A woman opened the door a crack to see who it was "Hello?" she asked  
Ilsa smiled "We're detectives" Olivia moved her badge so the woman could see the shield "Are you Tanya Jahsen?"

The woman closed the door, the small rattle of a chain later and she opened the door completely "Yes I am how can I help you?" she asked a little irritated  
Ilsa had a smile on her face "We were wondering if you could tell us where to find Raylene Jahsen"

The woman looked angry "There is no Raylene here" she said and moved to close the door  
"Uh Is Raylene you sister?" Ilsa asked before the door was slammed in her face.  
'No, I don't have a sister" The woman said  
"We've got information that says you have a sister we need to talk to her"

"What an earth would you need to talk to her about!" she asked harshly  
"We need to talk to her about Asael Garcia" Olivia piped in after being silent for so long.

"Who is it?" They heard a deepish voice call from in the apartment  
"Some detectives, wanting to talk about Asael something-or-other" Tanya called back  
It was quiet for a few moment before the voice sounded again "Let them in"  
Tanya moved and let Olivia and Ilsa inside, they followed her through the apartment and saw a young man sitting down in a chair with a book in his lap, He had very dark short brown hair and rich brown eyes.

"Hi" he said

"Hello, I'm detective Ilsa Couri and this is Detective Benson"  
"It's a pleasure to meet you both" he said standing up and reaching out to shake their hands. "Why is it you need to talk about Asael?"

"We're investigating a crime and we just need to find some more things out about him" Olivia explained without giving to much information away

"And you don't think you're getting enough from the people at his church so you need to talk to someone else?"

Ilsa and Olivia looked at each other then back at the young man "Sorry but who are you? We were looking for Raylene Jahnsen"  
The young man smiled at them "I haven't been called that for quite some time, my names Raymond now"

The two detectives stood motionless for a moment, just trying to process what they had just been told "You're Raylene?" Olivia asked, the man nodded  
"You had a sex change?" Ilsa asked, another nod  
"And you changed your name to Raymond?"

"Yes, is that a problem?" Raymond asked  
"Nope" Ilsa said quickly before pulling out her note book to write in "So can you tell us what happened between you and Asael?"

"Well, I used to go to the same church, it seemed like a nice place, accepting, people who cared about other people, and Asael seemed like a really nice guy, but you know what they say' looks can be deceiving' he found out that I wanted to get a sex change, I guess I talked a little too loud or I told the wrong person and he came to me telling me 'I can't get a change, that I'm the way God made me and that's how I have to stay"

"I made the mistake of opening my big mouth and said 'Well maybe God made a mistake' he walked off after that, but a few nights later I was walking home and a group of people jumped me, started beating the hell out of me"

"How long ago was this?" Olivia asked

Raymond got a thoughtful look on his face, trying to recall the incident "uh...two or three years ago"

"Can you tell us what he did?"

"They" Raymond corrected "It was a group but Asael was the leader he kept saying things like "God doesn't make mistakes and I'm a whore for wanting to change myself" His eyes grew misty as he tried not to cry remembering what the men had done to him "After they had stopped kicking me around and hitting and spiting on me, Asael got over me and said 'Maybe all I needed was to see what it was like to be a woman and he-" He couldn't get the last words out, only a choked sob came out.

Tanya who had left the three to talk in private ran over to her brother and held him as he cried, Ilsa and Olivia stayed quiet as they waited for him to calm down, they didn't want to risk saying anything that could make the situation worse.

"he raped me" Raymond sniffled "And i think he's done it other times as well, anyone who didn't fit what he deemed was a good Christian he'd beat or worse, if someone was hurt and he's a suspect i guarantee he had something to do with it, everyone thinks he's such a great kid but he's a horrible person who thinks he's doing God's work by beating people who are different"

"I'm very sorry that happened to you, why didn't you press charges?" Ilsa asked kindly

"I did, but no one believed me, said I was lying...I never set foot near that church again, I moved, had my operation and am a lot better now, I don't hate myself like I used to I feel normal"

"Again we're sorry for what happened, and for making you remember but we needed to know, he might have hurt another girl, this one is willing to testify against him"

"If she wasn't his idea of normal it was most likely him, I hope she's ok"

Ilsa and Olivia nodded and stood up, heading for the door "Thank you for your time and I'm very sorry"

Raymond stood with them and walked them to the front door, smiling as they stepped out "Just make sure he gets what he deserves" and with that the door was shut with a soft click and the two detectives made there way back to the precinct.

It had been a long day, not just because they had quiet a few open cases, but because Olivia seemed in a particularly bad mood, she snapped at a lot of people, didn't talk to anyone unless she had to and wasn't eating when food was offered.

Elliot looked up from his desk when he saw Ilsa and Olivia, she seemed to be fighting over something

"You're coming over and that's final Olivia"  
"Fine!" Olivia huffed and she turned and walked away from Ilsa, Ilsa squeezed the bridge of her nose and sighed, She had invited Olivia over but the brunette detective kept refusing, Ilsa knew something was bothering her so she wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer, finally after a lot of annoyance Olivia agreed to go to Ilsa's house.

It had been a long day full of interviews and paper work, finishing other cases and trying to solve the ones at hand. Ilsa was a home waiting for her fellow detective to come to her place for some dinner and most likely some drinks, She had arranged for Josh to spend the night with his father, Josh didn't seem to mind and told Ilsa to 'Say hi to Aunty Liv' for him.

There was a thump at the door, Ilsa got up off her couch and walked over and peeped through the hole to see who was on the other side, she saw a rather sad looking brunette on the other side, Ilsa quickly opened the door and smiled at her friend.  
"Hey Liv come on in"

Olivia grumbled as she stepped through the door and into the apartment, she followed the familiar path to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of beer.

"Yeah just help yourself" Said Ilsa loud enough for Olivia to hear as she closed and locked the door.

"You invited me over you don't like it I'll leave" Olivia snapped at her friend

"Relax Liv what's mine is yours you know that" Ilsa made her way to the kitchen and got a bottle for herself "So do you want to tell me what's got your knickers in a twist or should I guess?"

Olivia grumbled something before walking off to make herself at home on the couch  
"I've already ordered dinner, it should be here soon"

Olivia said nothing, just sat looking at the blank screen across from her, Ilsa sighed and silently walked off into the kitchen, deciding to give the other detective some space, Olivia either didn't notice or didn't care, she just sat there drinking her beer, once she had finished that bottle, she went and grabbed another.

It wasn't long before dinner arrive and Ilsa paid for it and served it, They ate in silence, Olivia not wanting to talk, and Ilsa had already figured out how to get her to.

Again in silence Ilsa cleared away the plates, she returned from the kitchen with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. "I don't know what's eating at you Liv" She said as she took a seat next to her friend and placed the item's in front of her, opening the bottle and pouring the liquid into a cup she handed it to Olivia, who took it without question and put the edge of the glass to her lips taking a drink.

"But maybe some of this will get you to loosen your tongue" Ilsa said before taking her own drink and copying Olivia.

Olivia still sat there, cold and distant, but Ilsa knew if she waited eventually she'd know what was bothering her friend, she'd pulled the silent routine before, she knew how to play it. Seconds dragged on and turned into minutes, the only noises in the apartment was the sound of their breathing and the soft thump of the glasses as they were put back on the table.

Ilsa turned her head slightly to get a look at her friend, she was still knocking back the glasses, Ilsa took a deep breath as she put her cup down, she then reached over and grabbed the other detective's glass, spilling a few drops of the liquid inside as she moved it out of reach.

"Hey!" Olivia snapped "I was drinking that"

"Good for you" Ilsa retorted "You can have it back when you tell me what the hell is wrong"

Olivia got up off the couch "Nothing" she said  
Ilsa got up to and followed Olivia as she paced around her apartment  
"Tell me, you can trust me, whatever it is I wont tell anyone" Ilsa's voice was sincere as she spoke

"You wouldn't understand" Olivia said, the build up of emotions mixed with a lot of alcohol was weakening her resolve

Ilsa slowly walked up to her friend, grabbing her hand "You might feel better if you let it out, why are you so upset today?"

Olivia was trying her best to keep the tears welling up in her eyes at bay, she couldn't let them fall, she knew if she did she wouldn't be able to stop, and she couldn't tell Ilsa, not this…

"Why today Olivia?" Ilsa asked again

Olivia sniffed "Because she was taken from me today…"

Ilsa moved Olivia back to the couch and sat her down, taking a seat next to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulder "Who Olivia, who was taken?"

Olivia took a deep breath "Alex…"

**So i hope you liked it, I am going somewhere Whit this so i hope you'll keep reading, Reviews aren't mandatory but they are nice :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**I was on a roll today while i was typing this, i hope you like and enjoy it, next chapter shouldn't be to far away :)**

It was quiet after that, the sounds of the city outside the only thing heard; neither knew what to say now. Ilsa finally spoke after minutes of silence "Alex?"

Olivia nodded "She was a…friend…I used to work with her" she took a deep breath before continuing "I told you about her remember?" she asked looking at her friend questioningly

Ilsa's face was un-readable completely lack of any signs of emotion, she nodded slowly "The ADA, Alex…um…Cabot right?"

More tears fell from Olivia's eyes as she nodded.

"So…today's the day she…died?" Ilsa asked slowly

Again Olivia nodded "I miss her so much" she said as she leaned against her friend and started to cry again, Olivia didn't like to show a lot of emotion, but a hard day at work, some whiskey and a huge amount of emotional tension and she had no choice, but she knew Ilsa wouldn't tell anyone, she would only tease her about in private, what else were friends for.

Ilsa lifted her arms and held her friend tight against her chest, stroking comfortingly up and down her back "It's ok Liv, you're allowed to miss her, it's natural"

"You don't understand" Olivia muttered from where he head lay against her friends torso

"I've lost people to, I know what it's like" Ilsa said, Olivia quickly sat up and got off the couch

"No Ilsa, you might think you do, but you can never understand the situation!"

"What situation, why don't you tell me" Ilsa said in a calm voice, waiting for the other detective to calm done and join her back on the couch  
But Olivia didn't sit back down, she started to pace _'how can I tell her that I'm upset because Alex is _gone_ not dead'_

Ilsa didn't push, just sat silently waiting for Olivia to either talk or stop pacing, when Olivia still hadn't stoped Ilsa got to her feet and slowly moved in front of the detective, gently grabbing her shoulder she stoped the pacing woman.

"Talk to me Liv, we're friends you can trust, I'm here to help you love"

Olivia stoped when she felt the grip on her arms, and turned to her friend, she knew if she needed to she could tell Ilsa everything that was bothering her and Ilsa would listen with a open mind and in the end would love Olivia no less, that Ilsa might come up with some insane way of making her feel better as she normally did, but Olivia knew she could say anything, she couldn't tell her that Alex was still alive…somewhere.

Ilsa saw she wasn't going to get anywhere anytime soon so she poured another glass and handed it to her friend, patting the couch, letting Olivia know she wanted her to sit there, Olivia took the glass and made her way to the seat next to Ilsa, Ilsa turned and pulled Olivia into a hug.

"So tell me about her" Ilsa said gently "I never knew her"

Olivia took a deep drink "She was….amazing" she sighed "The best ADA we've ever had, she knew how to get the job done…" A small smile was creeping onto Olivia's face as she remembered her Alex and what it as like when she was around

"People called her the 'Ice Princess', but she wasn't, not when you really got to know her, but not everyone got to know her, she didn't let a lot of people in"

Ilsa leaned back and leaning on an angle against the couch, with Olivia leaning against her, now it was all making sense as to why Olivia had been in such a pissed off mood at work. She was mourning the loss of her friend.

"She sounds like a classy lady" Ilsa murmured from her spot on the couch as she kissed Olivia on the top of her head, Olivia let out a soft laugh at her friend comment  
"She was, she was just…I can't explain it"

"You don't need to Liv, I know what you mean"

"I just…I miss her you know" Olivia whispered

"I know, it's natural to miss the people you love, but you don't have to worry Liv you'll see her again"

Olivia leaned forward and grabbed her glass, bringing it up to her lips _if only you knew_

"I mean" Ilsa said slowly "How long can they keep someone in witness protection anyway?"

Olivia spat out the liquid and jump off the couch, looking horrified at what her friend just said

"Whoa easy Liv what's the matter"

"What did you just say?" she asked franticly

Ilsa took a deep breath and began to explain "You were getting drunk one night, and I was worried so I bought you back to my place and you told me everything, how she got shot but lived and had to go away for her own good, how you missed her and wished you could have saved her" Ilsa sat up and smiled softly "Don't worry love I haven't told a single soul, and neither have you, I think you just needed to tell someone about it when it happened"

Olivia sat down and looked at her friend questioningly "So all this time you knew she was alive but pretended you didn't because?"

"Because I'm not supposed to know, because it's safer for her not to tell and because you don't remember telling me and I knew you would freak out"

Olivia accepted this answer and leaned back against her friend, Ilsa leaned back to and held Olivia close

"Liv?" Ilsa whispered into the quiet of the night, not sure if the other woman was awake or not

"mmmmm?" she heard the sleepy mumble from Olivia

"If you could have one wish, what would it be?"

Olivia was silent for a moment; she turned trying to get comfortable before she finally answered "To have my Alex back" she said sleepily, to tired and exhausted to really think about what she said

Ilsa nodded, then reaching for her phone, she typed in a familiar number and sent a text  
_I need your help with something_ she pushed the button and away it went, a few seconds later Ilsa's lit up to let her know she had received a new message

_Anything for you, just name it_

Ilsa smiled, put her phone down and closed her eyes…

**Hope you liked this chapter Reviews aren't mandatory but they do make me smile :)  
**


	22. Chapter 22

**Yay another chapter, hope you all and enjoy reading it :)**

Olivia woke up and blinked a few times, bringing a hand up to rub the sleep from her eyes, she looked at the body beneath her and smiled, Ilsa was snoring slightly and mumbling something in her sleep, Olivia remember what had happened during the night, feeling the pounding in her head from to much alcohol, she gently got up from the couch to look for something to get rid of the pain.

She finally found something to take and swallowed two pills, washing them down with a glass of water, she walked back over to the couch and saw that Ilsa was starting to stir, she hoped her friend wasn't about to have another nightmare.

Olivia jumped back as Ilsa sat up gasping her eyes wide and scared.

"Are you ok?" Olivia asked as she moved to her friends side slowly reaching out to touch her

It was Ilsa's turn to jump as she felt Olivia's hand gently touch her arm, She looked around franticly waiting for her eyes to adjust to the lack of light, she clamed down when she saw it was just Olivia sitting with her '_No monsters here Ilsa, get a grip'_ she scolded herself

"Yeah Liv, I'm ok" she said rubbing her eyes, making sure she had not started crying during her dream.

"Bad dream?" Ilsa nodded at her friend "Want to tell me about it?" Olivia asked

Ilsa shook her head "No…I'll be ok, I just need a drink" she got up off the lounge and went into her kitchen, pouring an ice cold glass of water, walking over to the sink she turned it on and splashed some water onto her face, refilling the glass she went back to sit down.

"You sure you don't want to talk? You listened to me all night" Olivia said as her friend sat down

"I'll be ok" Ilsa assured her

Olivia almost asked Ilsa not to tell anyone about what she had learned about the former ADA Alexandra Cabot, but she knew better, Ilsa would not say a word, even under torture.

"So what now?" Ilsa asked

Olivia smiled "How about we get some more sleep?"  
Ilsa nodded in agreement and the two women made there way to the more comfortable bed, where they stayed until a more reasonable hour.

***  
Olivia woke up a few hours later with Ilsa wrapped around her, she smiled and she tried to detangle herself from her friend, but as Olivia went to move Ilsa's arm, the grip tightened.

Ilsa mumbled something incoherent and snuggled in closer to the warm body.

"Ilsa time to get up" Olivia said softly

Ilsa opened her eyes slowly and smiled "It's a good day when you wake up next to someone as gorgeous as you"

Olivia laughed as she got out of the bed "Thanks Romeo now get up so we can get going"

After forcing herself to get up Ilsa had changed and was waiting for Olivia "Why don't you go without me, I need to see someone quickly before I get into work"  
Olivia look at her, wondering what she was up to, but decided to drop it for now, she needed to get home to change before work, she could always ask her about it later

"Talk to you later love" Ilsa said as she hugged Olivia before her friend disappeared out of her door, after having a five minute shower and throwing on some fresh clothes she pulled out her phone and quickly dialled a number, she was putting her things in her pocket as she listen to the phone ringing, waiting for it to be picked up.

"_Hello trouble what can I do for you?"_ the familiar voice asked

"Hey, you busy this morning, I need to do something before work and I would love to have you're help" Ilsa shrugged on her black leather jacket as she waited for the answer, she already knew what it was going to be.

The voice on the other end laughed "_when and where?"_

***  
Ilsa strolled into the precinct right on time, hanging her jacket up she had a bright smile on her face, as she walked to her desk Olivia reached out and grabbed her elbow

"Where did you go this morning?" she asked

Ilsa smiled and patted Olivia's arm "You don't need to worry" she said then turned and went to her desk, settling in for a long day of work. Ilsa was filling out a form for another case she had been working when she got a call

"Couri" she said as she answered her phone in one hand, still writing with the other

"Ilsa I need to talk to you" Ilsa head the ADA's voice and cringed

"I'm kind of busy" Ilsa said hoping Casey wouldn't push her

"My office when you can" The phone went dead after that, Ilsa just sighed and pushed her chair out, wondering to get her jacket

"Where you going?" Olivia asked

"Novak wants me" Ilsa answered

"Oh so that's where you went this morning"

"Shut up you" Ilsa said and shoved Olivia as she went walked past her.

Casey was sitting at her desk doing her own work when she had gotten a phone call; once it ended she knew she had to call Ilsa. So she sat working while she waited for the detective to show up.

Ilsa was standing outside the office door taking a deep breath, steadying her nerves for whatever ass chewing she was about to get from the lawyer on the other side.

Casey looked up from her desk when she heard the soft knock at her door  
"Come in"

Ilsa opened the door and gave a charming smile as she slowly walked in, closing the door behind her  
"G'day love" she said in what she hoped was her most dashing voice

"What did you do?" Casey asked, her face and voice stern leaving no room for argument

Ilsa looked flabbergasted "N-nothing" she stuttered "It wasn't me"

"I got a call this morning" Casey said standing up from behind her desk and slowly walking around it, Ilsa gulped and leant back against the door "It was my date last night, calling to apologise about how he treated me"  
Ilsa smiled "Maybe he just saw the error of his ways?" she offered, hoping that Casey would buy it, The look on the young attorneys face told her she didn't believe a word of it.

"I asked him why he was apologising"

"Oh crap" Ilsa hissed under her breath

"He said a woman with a strange accent and a tall and very scary man dressed in a lot of leather showed up at his work this morning"

Ilsa's eyes darted around the room as she continued her innocent act "Coincidence, I'm not the only person around with an accent"

Casey stepped closer and Ilsa tried to make herself smaller "But you are the only one who knew I went out with him…" Casey paused "he said he was threatened and he was scared for his safety"

"That is a lie we never laid a finger on him or threatened him!" Ilsa said before she could stop herself "Aw fuck"

"I knew it!" Casey said

"Ok yes I went there, but he shouldn't have treated you like he did" Ilsa pushing off the door taking a deep breath "I mean come on you didn't deserve that, the man is an idiot for treating a lady like that, but I never laid a hand on him, I just told him he should have treated you better and…stuff" Ilsa looked down at the ground, finding the carpet of Casey's office suddenly very interesting

"You scared the hell out of a man because he was a lousy date?" Casey asked, her voice softening

Ilsa shrugged and scuffed her shoe on the floor "Because he didn't treat you right and he upset you"

Casey took a deep breath, She thought it was kind of sweet that Ilsa would defend her like she had "Wait, how did you even find out who he was, I don't think I gave you a name"

Ilsa looked up and smiled her cheeky smile "I'm a detective it's my job" after a few minutes of silence Ilsa spoke again "A-are you really mad at me?"

Casey sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose and she sat on the edge on her desk "No, but don't go around threatening anymore of my bad dates"

"Fine someone who treats you right and I won't have to"

Casey chuckled at her friends remark "Who did you take with you?" she asked out of curiosity  
"Oh just a friend" Ilsa smiled.

"I'm not sorry I did it you know"

"Are you every sorry about anything you've done?" Casey asked looking at the look of contemplation that crossed the detective face

"Yes" Ilsa said blankly, she turned to leave when she thought of something "Oh wait Casey I need to ask you something"

"What?"

"Can I get a warrant for Asael Garcia's DNA?"

Casey scoffed "Are you serious? you don't have any evidence he was involved, he has an alibi!"  
"We have a previous victim!" Ilsa shot back

"Did this victim press charges"

Ilsa held her index finger up with a look of hope on her face before it disappeared and finger drooped "No" she said

"Are you seriously asking me this Ilsa?"

Ilsa sighed "I think he did it" she stated.

Casey walked back around her desk then sat down "Then get more evidence or break the alibi I can't help you otherwise"

Ilsa rolled her eyes then walked out the door _'Break the alibi? how can I do that?' _she thought as she made her way back to the precinct, as she got in the elevator to get to her floor she was hit with an idea _'hmm…maybe I don't need a warrant for his DNA'_ Ilsa flew out the doors and ran to her desk

"What the hurry?" Elliot asked as she flew past him

"OH hey Elliot how's it going when did you get here?" she asked in a rush

"What are you doing?" he asked eyeing her suspiciously

"I have a few calls to make" She said sorting through piles of paper till she found what she needed, picking up the phone and putting the receiver to her ear, she pushed the buttons and waited for the other side to pick up.

**Please read and review  
**


	23. Chapter 23

**So here is another chapter, I don't know when I'll be able to update again, a friend of mine is coming to visit for a few weeks so I'll be busy wiht her, I'll try have another chapter up before she arrives, hope you enjoy this one.**

Asael wasn't thrilled about being called to the station, but he figured he may as well come and talk to them, find out what was going on, he was tapping his foot as she waited for the elevator, when it came he stepped on and made his way up, a young woman stepped in with him, she looked at him and smiled, he looked he up and down then smiled back, He was a charming man when he had to be, he had found that a lot of people were drawn in by his charms and looks, his tan skin and dark hair, not to mention his smiled. The ride up was in silence, as the elevator stopped he let the young woman go first and followed behind her, he made his way to the squad room where he looked for the detective who had called him here.

***  
Joel was sweating as he made his way to the precinct, his parents had come with him, they wanted to know what was going on with the hunt for the monster that had hurt their daughter. He wiped his hands on his jeans again, trying not to look so nervous '_have they figured it out yet' _he wondered as he and his mother and farther made there way through traffic. He stood awkwardly as he waited for an elevator to take them to the right floor. He kept thinking about his sister, and how she was hurting, she hadn't talked to them much since all this started, she preferred to spend her time with Samantha, he squeezed his hand into a fist as he thought about them. The ride up was filled with an eerie silence.

***  
Ilsa whipped around when she heard someone call her name, she smiled when she saw it was Asael.  
"Detective Couri" Asael said as he extended his hand

"Asael, thank you for coming down, would you mind following me this way, I just need to ask you some questions"  
Asael didn't show any emotion as he walked with her to a free interrogation room.  
As Ilsa opened the door and let him pass Olivia ran up "Hey Ilsa someone here to see you"

"Please excuse me for a moment Asael I'll be right back"

"Of course" he said, when the door closed he rolled his eyes

Ilsa walked out and saw Joel and his parents waiting by her desk "Hey Liv" she whispered  
Olivia turned around, Ilsa waved her hand letting her know she wanted her to lean closer "I have a plan but I need your help"

Olivia nodded and listened as Ilsa explained in a hushed whisper what she was doing "I'll get Elliot, you take Fin"

Ilsa walked up to the Taucher family "I'm very sorry but I'm busy with another interrogation right now, is it ok if Detective Benson talks to you instead.

Carrisa and Jonathan nodded in agreement "Yes but I don't understand why you need to talk to Joel again, it's not his fault" Carrisa said in a snooty voice

Ilsa smiled "Everything will be explained soon, thank you for your patience"

Ilsa turned and walked over to Fin and grabbed him by the arm pulling him out of his chair  
As he turned to complain Ilsa leaned closer, next to his ear she whispered quietly "Come with me, I need to interrogate Asael, I think he did it, just come with me and follow my lead, I'll explain everything in a minute"

***  
Olivia had found Elliot and explain to him what was going on, it was a slow day so he agreed to help out, They walked back into the squad room and got the Taucher's to follow them into one of the spare rooms.

As they walked closer to the spare room Elliot put his hand on Joel's shoulder in a friendly way "Why don't we go in here and talk, just the two of us"  
"No" Carrisa said "We need to be with him"

"Everything will be fine, Elliot just needs to ask him a few questions" Olivia said as her partner and the young man closed the door to the room "We can watch from here" she said motioning to the window that let them see into the room, she switched in the intercom so that they could hear everything that was being said in the room.

Ilsa finished explaining to Fin her plan  
"What if it doesn't work?" he asked before they went into the room

Ilsa scoffed "It is going to work, have some faith Fin, think positive"

Fin sighed before he was practically pushed into the interrogation room.

Asael stood up from his chair "What's going on?" he asked angrily  
"Nothing, we just need to ask you some questions" Fin answered as Ilsa closed the door and the detectives made their way to a chair and sat down.

"You didn't say anything about a second person being here" he said as he looked at Ilsa  
She just shrugged "It's just a formality"

"So what do you need to ask?" Asael said as he took his seat again and put on one of his charming smiles  
"We're you really with Joel the day Emily was attacked" Ilsa asked in a cool, calm tone.

Asael's jaw clenched "I've already told you I was, if you don't believe me that was your fault, but the more time you waste questioning me the longer those sinners go unpunished"

"You know that's an odd things to say" Ilsa said she rubbed her hand along her jaw "You keep talking about sinners, and punishing them"

"So?" Asael asked

"So who's the sinner?" Ilsa asked leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table "You could say 'catch the bastard' or 'get the monster who did this', so tell me who is the sinner and why they need to be punished"

"I don't have to listen to this" Asael said and he stood up quickly from his place.  
Fin was up just as fast and grabbed him by the shoulder, forcing the younger man to sit back down "Yeah you do, now answer her question"

He sat in silence, ignoring the two detectives in the room, he wouldn't answer their stupid questions, and even though they thought otherwise, he knew he was smarter then them.

Ilsa smiled at Fin "Say do you know someone named Raylene Jahnsen?" she asked casually  
Fin and Ilsa both notice that Asael stiffened slightly at the mention on the woman's name "So do you?" Ilsa pressed

"Answer the lady's questions!" Fin called out at he slammed a fist down on the table, making Asael jump from his seat "Did you know her" he said softly

Still he remained silent, but the look on his face showed the two detectives that they had hit a nerve "Or maybe you'd recognise the name Raymond Jahnsen, that's what he likes to be called now" Ilsa continued

"It is an abomination, not worth knowing, it's a waste of breath to say it's name"

Ilsa smiled at Fin "Hmm, I guess that means you did know him then" She remarked

"I wish I never knew it, it was an affront to god"

Ilsa slowly stood up and began pacing around the room with Fin "So I guess you didn't like him because….why, why didn't you like him? I have no idea"

Asael refused to look at them "because _'she'_ was made the way god wanted and insisted he made a mistake, he doesn't make mistakes"

"I don't know, he made you didn't he" Fin quipped  
Asael moved quickly out of his chair and stood in front of Fin "How dare you!" he yelled in the male detectives face "That is blasphemous"

Ilsa chuckled "Settle down boy, so you hated him because he was born wrong, a man trapped in a woman's body?"

Asael turned his head and glared at Ilsa "_'She'_" he hissed "Was born the _'right'_ way, they way God wanted it"

"So you hate anyone who isn't the way God wants them?" Fin asked as he watched Ilsa make a slow circle of the room

"Is that why you raped him?" Ilsa pushed

"She was being shown the right way, whatever happened to her the freak deserved it" he snarled

Ilsa stoped walking around the room and took her seat across from Asael, Fin moved to and took a seat closer to the young man.

"Hey Fin, you think he hates homosexuals as much as he hates transgender people?"  
"I don't know" Fin answered then turned to Asael with a smirk "Do you?"

"Those fags all deserve to burn in hell for what they are"  
"Fags?" Ilsa repeated "I hate that word it is so demeaning"  
"Trust a fag to think that" Asael spat "You're one of them aren't you?"

"You mean like Emily?" Ilsa asked with a smirk "Is that why you raped her?"  
"I didn't do anything wrong" he said trying to hide his own smirk.

"Then give us a DNA sample and prove us wrong" Fin said

"Are you kidding me? No way am I giving you a sample"

"Things aren't looking good for you then Asael; I mean you hate gay people and Emily Taucher is a lesbian"  
"Yeah she is!" Asael yelled getting out of his chair once again "And she deserved everything she got, she's nothing but a dyke, maybe they should do it again, you know…" he said with a sick smile "Show her the right way"

"Is that what you did? You found the photos of her with Sam and you got pissed because you wanted her, but when you found out she liked girls you lost it, you decided to make her straight by raping her!" Ilsa stated loudly "So you sent her the letter and you told her to meet you in that alley and then you hit her and you raped her

"Whatever happened to her isn't half as bad as what should have been done, she should have been killed"

"So all gay people deserve to die and burn in hell?" Ilsa asked getting closer to him  
"Every last one of the fags should burn for what they are, they are unnatural, no one likes them or wants them here"

"Funny" Ilsa said "My friends still want me around, so I find that hard to believe"

Asael stopped his rant and just started at Ilsa in disbelief "You're a fucking fag?"

Ilsa smiled and nodded "Oh yeah, but don't call me that, I don't like it"

Asaels temper was so far past boiling point by now, he couldn't believe he had been sitting in the same room as one of them, he looked at her with disgust then after a few seconds of silence, he spat in her face "Dyke bitch" he hissed as he stormed out of the room.

Fin was up and stood next to Ilsa placing a hand on her upper arm "You ok girl?" he asked, not really believing what just happened, what he couldn't believe more was the fact that Ilsa was smiling

"Well…that didn't go the way I planned" she paused for a second "Could you call Doc Warner Fin"  
He looked at her oddly for a minute  
"Let her know I have a DNA sample, oh and tell her to put a rush on it"

Elliot and Joel were going over his statement again, for a second time

"And you're sure Asael was with you at the time of the attack?" Elliot asked once again  
Joel sighed and sagged in his chair "Yes, ok for the hundredth time, yes he was with me"

"I don't see why you're still asking these questions" Carrisa said from her view point outside the window "He's told you everything, I think it's time we get going"

"Soon I promise" Olivia said _'come on Ilsa where are you'_

"This is getting old, if you would do your jobs you could catch the person responsible" the older woman said angrily to the detective.

Olivia was about to walk in and tell Elliot to let Joel go when Ilsa came up, wiping her face with a hanky, "Where have you been?" Olivia hissed into her ear"

"Getting a DNA sample" Ilsa said back, she moved past Jonathan and Carrisa "excuse me".

Elliot and Joel turned and looked at Ilsa opened the door and walked in "So what's he told you?"

"Same thing as last time" Joel muttered, it was easy to see he was getting agitated.

"Well Joel, I think you should start telling us the truth and not the little lie you and Asael made up"

Joel looked shocked but didn't say anything _'Oh god she can't know, he wouldn't have told'_  
"I-I don't know what you mean"

"Look Joel I'm tired of the lies, I know Asael wasn't with you the morning your sister was attacked so just tell us what happened"

The young man wiped some sweat off his brow but didn't say anything.

"Did you find them, the pictures of your sister and Samantha? was it an accident?"

"Samantha? What does _that_ girl have to do with anything?" Carrisa asked as she watched the scene through the window.

Joel looked away from the woman "What pictures?"

Ilsa sat down and softened her voice "Did you know they were in a relationship?" she asked gently.

"A what?" Carrisa screamed.

Joel didn't answer, but his lower lip started to tremble

"Joel did you know your sister was gay?"

He was quiet for a while, and then he whispered "yes…"  
Ilsa nodded "Did you tell Asael?"  
He shook her had fast "No, he was looking around and h-he found the pictures, and a tape…"

"A tape of what?" she prodded gently

"Of Emily and Sam…you know, together…"

"Was he angry?"

Joel nodded "Yeah, he said he couldn't believe she was a dyke, then he started saying that she wasn't, she was being manipulated by that bitch, and he could help her, I didn't know what he was going to do"

"What happened?" Ilsa asked

"I was scared, I don't want my sister to go to hell, but I don't know what he did, he just told me that if anyone asked he was with me the morning it happened, h-he told me he was going to make her straight, I thought he was going to talk to her" He rambled as the tears that had been building up began to fall.

Ilsa moved closer to him and he grabbed her, crying onto her shoulder "I didn't know she was going to get hurt"

"Why didn't you tell us the truth in the beginning?"

"I was scared he'd hurt her again, or he'd tell everyone what he saw, what she was…"

Carrisa's hand flew to her mouth as she gasped "What is he talking about?"  
"You didn't know?" Olivia asked  
"Know what?" Asked Jonathan

"That your daughter is a lesbian?"

"She isn't" Carrisa hissed "And I'm taking my son home.

Three head turned to the door as Carrisa walked in and collected her son, she left without another word.

"So how did you get the sample?" Elliot asked as the detectives all stood around the squad room "Did he just give it up?"  
Ilsa smiled "I just used my charm" This got a chuckle from Fin as he sat at his desk and the two shared a knowing smile.

**Again we're at the end of a chapter, I'll try really hard to have the next one up soon, I hope you all enjoyed and please R&R, you know it makes me smile :)**


	24. Chapter 24

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**This chapter was done in the small amounts of free time i;ve had but I hope you all like it anyway, I wasn't going to post it tonight, but i got a call letting me know my L&O SVU season 11 DvD's came in today and i'm just to happy not to post it. :D**

It had been a long day, and it was almost over, Asael had been arrested, it had been a lovely experience, with lots of colourful words being thrown around, mostly at Ilsa, but now he was in a cell waiting for arraignment, they hoped he would be denied bail and would spend his time in a cell awaiting trial and then of course be found guilty and spend the next however many years trying not to drop the soap in the shower. It felt good to get the bad guy at the end of the day.

Ilsa was sitting at a bar, remembering when they arrested Asael Garcia, the anger that crossed his face as Ilsa smirked at him, the clink of metal as the cuffs were wrapped around each wrist, the yelling at Ilsa as she read him his rights.

How on the ride back he sat there in the back of the car, cuffed, calling her every name he could think of, and some she was sure he had just made up on the spot, all the time he was yelling profanities she just sat there smiling.

Now Ilsa was sitting alone on a bar stool with a glass in front of her mulling over the thoughts swirling in her head, it had been a long but good day at work, but she wasn't quite ready to go home yet. She had an air around her that said 'I don't want to talk to anyone so stay away', the few that had come up to her quickly realised not matter how hard they tried Ilsa was not going to give them the time of day. This was time alone for her, time to think and time to forget.

"You know if that sign were any bigger you'd need to get it its own area code" Ilsa heard the smoky voice, though she didn't look up.

"What sign would that be Gayle?" Ilsa asked with a smile and she turned her head slightly to acknowledge her friend as she sat down on the stool next to her.

"The sign that says 'I've had a rough day fuck off or I'll bite your head off'"

Ilsa tried to hide a smile but failed "oh…" she mumbled "that sign"

"So what's the matter sugar?" Gayle asked as she brushed some hair out of Ilsa's face "You look like some one killed your dog"

Ilsa snorted "I hope that didn't happen" she sighed and rubbed the back of her neck "Just thinking that's all"  
Gayle nudged her friend "About what?" she pushed  
"Stuuuuuuuf" Ilsa replied stretching out the word  
"Ilsa I'm old enough to have seen and heard just about anything, and hello darling! where do I work? I'm sure it's not that bad"

Ilsa sighed look down at the bar, it was true Gayle had seen and heard just about every problem out there, she tapped her fingers on the bar, Gayle was just sitting there patiently waiting to hear the problem.  
"I think I have feelings for somebody…" Ilsa admitted quietly

Gayle couldn't help but grin and lean closer "So tell me who is it? Are they cute, are they good in bed? do they treat you right?" she asked in a rush

Ilsa looked confused "Calm down Gayle, nothing to get excited about"  
Gayle pouted at her friend "Well why?" she paused for a minute and thought about what Ilsa had said "And what do you mean think you have feelings?"

Ilsa sighed and ran a hand through her hair "I mean I like them, they're really nice but…"  
"But?" Gayle asked her friend, hoping to get some information out of her about this person she 'thought' she liked.

Ilsa folded her arms on the counter in front of her and let her head fall onto them as she let out a frustrated groan "Because we work together, because she's straight, because…"

"Because you don't like letting people in" Gayle finished for her "And how do you know she is straight?"

Ilsa turned her head and gave a weak smile "Because she said 'I'm straight' on several different occasions"

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks" Gayle said with a cheeky smile on her face  
"Gayle!" Ilsa groaned

"Well how do you know she isn't interested in you, once you get past the 'fuck off' exterior you are actually a very wonderful person, and anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend or lover"

Ilsa opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out, straitening up on the stool, she continued to play with the glass that had been sitting in front of her.  
"Thanks Gayle" She finally said quietly "You always know how to cheer me up"

Gayle lent closer and gave Ilsa a hug "It's what friends are for right? I mean if it was the other way around you'd listen to me, you always listen to me talk about my sexual escapades or anything else, let someone return the favour sweetie"

Ilsa nodded but didn't say anything more, just retreated back into her head, ponder her friend words, It wasn't late, but Ilsa was starting to feel the day creeping up on her and just wanted to curl up on the couch or in bed, anywhere she could just unwind and relax. Gayle had bid her goodbye as she walked off to find someone else to talk to, knowing the signs and seeing that that was all the conversation she would be getting from Ilsa for now.

Ilsa was swirling the tiny amount of liquid in her glass around, she didn't notice the person sit down next to her.

"Rough day huh?" Ilsa heard the familiar voice, the one she had been thinking of but she wasn't sure if she wanted to see the woman it belonged to.

"Casey" Ilsa's voice squeaked as she shot up and turned to see the ADA sitting next to her a smiled on her face, Ilsa quickly cleared her throat hoping Casey didn't notice her voice break. "W-what are you doing here"

"A little birdie told me you might be here" Casey smiled

"Olivia?" Ilsa guessed

"Yeah she seems to know a lot of your hiding spots"

Ilsa smiled at Casey but couldn't really think of anything to say, luckily she didn't have to

"I'm uh…actually not drinking anything" Ilsa replied with a sheepish smile on her face.

"You're in a bar…but you're not drinking?" Casey asked with a confused smile on her face

"I just came here to think" Ilsa explained "If this place didn't work I know a few others…and I wasn't really expecting any company"

"Oh" Casey murmured, getting ready to leave "I didn't mean to intrude" she said quickly

"Case wait" Ilsa said reaching out and grabbing Casey's arm, the young ADA turned to look at the woman holding onto her arm "I wouldn't mind some company"

Casey smiled and tentatively sat back down "Why come to a bar if you're not going to drink?" She asked before ordering herself a scotch.

Ilsa watch as Casey took a drink from her glass, but offered only a shrug "I don't know, I have a lot going on in my head and I thought this place might be good"

"What kind of stuff?" Casey asked nonchalantly

Ilsa smiled "Oh you know, relationships, work" She gave a mischievous smile "Whether I want to quit my job as a detective and become a porn star"

Casey spluttered on her drink and started open-mouthed at Ilsa, Ilsa waggled her eyebrows and laughed "You are so not funny Couri" Casey mumbled.

Ilsa watched as Casey grabbed a napkin to wipe the drink she had coughed up, she got out of the chair and threw her jacket on "Want to get out of here?" she asked Casey

Casey look up and nodded "Uh…yeah ok"

Ilsa waited for Casey to get up from her chair before walking out into the cool night air.  
"Why are we leaving?" Casey asked as she while walking next to her friend.

Ilsa just gave her a charming smile "I was feeling a little couped up"

Casey looked at her watch "I do have an early day tomorrow, maybe it would be best to head home" she said as she started to walk down the street. Ilsa quickly jogged up and slowed down when she was beside her friend.

"I don't need an escort" Casey said, but inside she was happy Ilsa cared enough to walk with her, the last guy didn't even care enough to offer on her last date.  
"For my sanities sake let me walk you home" Ilsa gave her a lopsided grin

After walking in silence Casey moved closer to Ilsa and linked arms, Ilsa turned her head and smiled, they continued on like this until Casey broke the silence, 'Maybe now is a good time to ask' thought Casey "Ilsa…can I ask for some advice?"

Ilsa turned her head slightly and looked at her friend, she began to wonder what she could possibly need some advice on "I say yes, change it"

Casey opened and closed her mouth wondering what Ilsa was talking about "Change what?"

Ilsa didn't looked at her, just kept her head straight as the two women headed down the streets "Your hair" she said with a smile "Don't get me wrong I think you look beautiful, but I kinda liked you as a redhead"

Casey blushed before she gave Ilsa a friendly shove "Not what I was talking about but thank you"

"You're welcome" Ilsa flashed her a wide smile.

"Anyway" Casey said with a smile "I was wondering…" she stopped as she thought he best to phrase what she wanted to now

"Just ask Casey" The Australian said pulling her closer "I'm here to listen and to help where I can"

Casey took a deep breath, she stopped walking causing Ilsa to stop to and wait for the words to come out "I think I like someone and don't know what to do about it"

'Freaky' Ilsa thought 'I was having a convocation like this with Gayle earlier, god I hope it isn't that dick she went out with the other night'  
"Ok, so…what are you confused about why you like them?" Casey nodded

Ilsa took a breath and tugged on Casey's arm and they started off on there walk again. "Well, what are they like?"

Casey sighed "I don't know" she paused and looked at the detective beside her, deciding just to go for it "They're funny…and smart and at the same time they're completely idiotic and unpredictable, in a good way though" she said as she thought about the woman she was staring at "Kind and helpful, just all around…amazing"

Ilsa smiled and turned to her friend "Sounds great do they have a sister?" she joked  
Casey stared in wonder 'she hasn't figured it out…'  
"No" she answered "No sister"

"Ok so why is it so confusing, from the way you describe them, sounds like you really like em"

"They're just so different from other people I've dated, or wanted to date, I've never met anyone like this before and I don't know how to send a message about how I feel, it's all really confusing"

"I think" Ilsa said still looking on front of them "You need to figure out how you feel before you can send the right message, If you think 'I don't want to be anything more then friends' but you've been sending out the opposite kind of message, it could get weird"

'How do I figure out how I feel about you when I'm scared of the answer'

"Maybe" Ilsa continued "Find out more about them, talk to them, and if you feel like you would be better friends then something more that's all good and no one gets hurt"

Casey nodded and started walking closer to Ilsa 'learn more about them…'  
"Ilsa tell me something I don't know about you"

Ilsa looked at her strangely before chuckling "Um…ok" she paused as she thought what she could tell the woman holding her arm 'something she doesn't know, but at the same time something I can actually say…' "I hate seaweed"

"What?" Casey asked laughing 'not exactly what I had in mine but I guess it will do'

"Yeah laugh all you want, I hate seaweed, I don't know how people eat it, I can't eat sushi because of the seaweed, makes me sick"

The ADA stopped her laughing but still had a grin on her face "I thought you had an iron stomach"

"I do" Ilsa said "It just can't handle seaweed"

"So you're this bad tough detective and you can't handle a little green stuff?" Casey teased good naturedly

"Yes ok I, 'the great' Ilsa Couri can't eat seaweed it is my one weakness" Ilsa exclaimed dramatically, throwing in a exaggerated sigh at the end.  
"No need to fear, I'll save you" Casey said back

"Oh would you, would you please?" Ilsa said sarcastically before Casey gave her a friendly shove. Casey shivered in the chill night arm and moved closer to the warm body next to her, it didn't go unnoticed by Ilsa.

"You cold?" She asked, not waiting for a response before tugging off her leather jacket and handing it to Casey.  
"Thanks" The younger woman said as she slipped her arms into the sleeves, the jacket was a little too big for her, but as she pulled it tighter around her she could smell the perfume left behind by Ilsa and snuggled closer into it, after she was done she moved back to Ilsa's side and rested her head against the detectives shoulder as they walked. 'this is really nice' she thought 'been a long time since I've just been for a walk with someone, no expectations, no worries about what they will expect at the end of it…'

"So um…" Ilsa mumbled softly "Who's this mystery person you like" sounding slightly jealous

'oh how sweet, I think she's jealous' Casey thought "I don't think I'm quite ready to say yet"

"It's not that guy from the other night is it? I don't like him"

"No, although he did ask me out again…" Casey said  
Ilsa took a breath "When are you meant to go out with him?"  
Casey smiled, enjoying teasing her, although she had been asked out again, after the first terrible date she wasn't going to go out with him again.

"Actually tonight" Casey replied, Ilsa stopped and stared at her confused "But I found someone better to spend the evening with"

Ilsa had a kind of dumbfounded look on her face "Oh" she said "who?"

Casey couldn't stop the laugh that escaped her even if she had tried "You! You big dummy" she said giving Ilsa another shove.

"Me?" Ilsa asked confused, then slowly the confused look turned into a slightly smug smile "Cool"

"Casey?" Ilsa asked  
Still with her head resting comfortably on her friends shoulder, Casey just let out a mumble to know she had heard.

"Where are we?" Ilsa asked with a smile in her voice

Casey looked around and laughed, Ilsa did the same, they stopped and looked around figuring out where they were.  
"Guess I got a little distracted" Casey smiled "I was having a nice time just walking"

"Yeah me too" Admitted Ilsa "But maybe she would go in the right direction now"  
Casey nodded in agreement before once again taking Ilsa's arm and leaning close, turning around they headed to Casey's apartment, the walk there filled with light conversation and flirtatious banter.

Casey saw her building coming into view and was almost disappointed that she would have to go inside without the detective. They stopped outside the front door leading inside and stood smiling at each other.

"oh here" Casey said as she tugged the leather jacket off and handed it back to Ilsa, feeling the cold air hit her.

"Thanks" Said Ilsa as she slipped her arms through the sleeves and snuggled back into the familiar feel.  
"I'll see you later" Ilsa offered as she started to walk away "Goodnight princess!" she tossed over her shoulder

"Hey!" Casey shouted "If I'm the princess…does that make you my knight in shining armour riding off in the distance?"

The answer Casey got wasn't exactly the one she was expected

"Nah, if I were your knight we'd be riding together" Ilsa gave her a lopsided grin before turning back around and heading down the street "Sweet dreams!" she called out again.

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**End of chapter, I have more free time on my hands now so I should be able to get another chapter up soon, Please R&R and I hope you enjoyed :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**So this will probably be my last update till after christmas, and I apologise now, I wrote this quickly while i was taking care of my mum, she hurt her back the poor dear and I was the only kid who would help her, The next chapter should be up after chirtsmas so until then enjoy, and a Merry Christmas to all :D**

It was a beautiful day, you know the kind, sun is shining and birds are singing, the kind of day where it's not to hot or to cold but the great mix in between, or at least it had been before problems with the case started to pop up, it was simple at first Asael was awaiting his trial and they had a good case against him, that was until Casey came into the squad room to tell the detectives the DNA might not be admissible in court. And so the fight between one ADA Casey Novak and one Detective Ilsa Couri had started.

Ilsa put on her most charming smile, the one that could win over most people as she tried to explain what had happened, how she got the DNA, to Casey hoping the young ADA would see it her way. People in the squad room turned and stared, though trying to do their work at the same time was proving a hard task. Most remained quiet as the two women got louder and louder.

"I told you I don't think the DNA will be admissible!" Casey yelled at the frustrating Australian.

"Casey he spat in my face!" Ilsa countered, pointing to her cheek where Asael had spat on her the previous day, The other detectives were trying not to get involved and were so far doing a good job, but they we're keeping there eyes on the two, making sure nothing got physical.

"You were provoking him Ilsa!" Casey had been told what had happened in the interview room, and was not happy about it.

"I was not" Ilsa huffed "Fin, do you think I provoked Asael to spit in my face?"  
Fin turned and saw the two women looking at him, waiting for his answer "Nah, that part was voluntary" he said with a straight face.

Casey let out a low growl, deciding she had had enough of Ilsa for the day she tossed something at her. Ilsa fumbled with a shocked look on her face as she caught the paper  
"What's this?" She asked, her voice returning to an acceptable tone as she unfolded it and read it.

"It's a search warrant for Asael Garcia's room" Casey explained obviously still irritated "Olivia asked me for one yesterday so here it is, go and find me some more evidence Couri!" with that Casey walked out, leaving Ilsa with an eyebrow raised in confusion

"ooook then…" she said slowly "Um…thanks for asking for this Olivia"  
Olivia smiled from her desk "It was no problem, but why isn't the DNA admissible, what did you do Ilsa?"

"Me?" Ilsa asked defensively "Why do you assume it was me?"  
Olivia held up her hand and began counting on her fingers "1) because Casey was only yelling at _you_ about it, 2) I know you, you always find a way to push people buttons when you need to oh and let's not forget number 3) It's 'a_lways' _you"

Ilsa opened her mouth to say something, but she could not think of a comeback to that, finally she settled on one "Shut up" she tried to hide the smirk but Olivia caught it.

Elliot shook his head "You need anyone to go with you for the warrant?" he asked  
Ilsa looked at the paper she still held in her hand "Uh, do you mind coming?" she asked Elliot.

Eliot nodded and the two grabbed their coats and headed out the precinct, on their way to Asael Garcia's address, which as Ilsa read, she learnt he still lived with his parents _'oh boy'_ she thought _'this'll be fun'_…

The drive was made in relative silence, they only talked about the case. As they pulled up to the house and got out of the car, the two detectives made their way to the door.  
"What do you want?" A tall man asked as Elliot went to knock on the door.  
He held out the paper and handed it to the man "We have a search warrant" he said as he walked through the door, Ilsa behind him.

An older woman approached the two "Please don't do this, our son is a good boy he wouldn't never have hurt that girl"

"We've got people who say he isn't as nice a boy as he seems now please ma'am" Ilsa said as she stood in front of Asael's mother "Show us where his room is"

"He's a good boy, that girl she must be lying, I know my son"

Ilsa sighed "Ma'am" she said sternly "We're just trying to do our jobs, so can you please show us where his room is"

The woman sighed and slowly trudged her way to her sons room, Elliot and Ilsa look at each other before stepping into the room, it was a nice room, everything put away in its place, the bed made. The two detectives did a quick look, seeing if anything stood out to them. Nothing did.

Ilsa walked over to the desk where his computer sat and had a look around that area, Elliot looked under the bed, Ilsa sighed when she didn't find anything, taking the time, she turned on the computer, seeing if he had anything on there that might help them. Once again nothing, she looked at Elliot and shrugged, the two then made their way to the closet, opening the door and having a look inside, nothing out of place again, some shoes, a few bags and boxes. Ilsa bent down to had a look on the floor moving things out of the way.

She found a box that didn't seem like it belonged, opening it up she cocked her head in contemplation as she pulled it out of the closet and looked inside.  
"I think I found something Elliot" she said slowly getting to her feet to show Elliot the contents of the box.

Elliot picked up a photo and looked at it, it was one of Emily outside of the church smiling, there were a lot more, some like that, others had Sam in the picture, Ilsa reached in a pulled out an envelope, placing the box on the ground she opened it and pulled out a folded piece of paper that was inside, carefully unfolding it she read the words spread across the page, the words made her smile, it was a love letter from Samantha to Emily it was incredibly sweet, but Ilsa couldn't help but feel a little sick at the thought of someone taking these letters. Elliot pulled out a tape and looked at it while Ilsa continued looking through the box, no label or marker of any kind to show what was on the tape.

"What do you thinks on here?" he asked as he showed it to Ilsa  
"I don't know" she replied looking up and eyeing the tape carefully "But we'll find out soon enough".

Ilsa was busy setting up in a spare room to watch the video they found earlier.  
She pushed the tape into the machine before taking a seat and switching the TV screen. She had volunteered to watch the tape while Elliot went through the other contents of the box.

She watched intently as the tape started to play, first it was just a bit of static nothing out of the ordinary, Then Sam was on the screen, talking to Emily who was holding the camera _'Should have figured he would have a tape of them'_

Ilsa didn't know how long the film was but so far it was tame, Sam and Emily talking just having fun with a video camera, the same things most people do.  
Ilsa got up out of her chair to stretch her muscles when Munch walked in to check on her.

"How are things going in here?" he asked looking at the screen  
Ilsa shrugged "It's going ok, nothing much to report" she said as she rolled her head, feeling the muscles protest at the motion.  
"Are you sure about that?" Munch asked still looking at the screen

Ilsa stopped and looked at the screen, the scenery had changed before it was Samantha and Emily playing with rose at a park, now it was inside someone's bedroom. She moved a step closer to the TV, someone stepped in front of the camera and Ilsa could tell it was Samantha, Emily had walked in over to the bed. _'Don't tell me this is what I think it is…'_ the detective thought as she watched the scene unfold.

Munch was standing next to her watching it as well, Once Samantha was done fiddling with the camera she slowly made her way towards the bed where Emily was sitting, looking rather nervous and twiddling he thumbs.  
Sam knelt in front of her girlfriend and wrapped her hands around Emily's "Hey it's ok baby" she said soothingly "Everyone does stuff like this"

This didn't seem to calm Emily down "B-but what if someone finds it"  
Sam kissed her cheek while gently stroking up and down her arms "No one will ever find this tape, It'll just be between you and me"

_'oh how wrong you were'_ Ilsa thought to herself feeling bad for watching something that was supposed to be something special between two people in love.  
"Why do you get the fun job?" he asked jokingly as the two detectives continued to watch the tape

Ilsa glared at him "Munch..."  
'Right" he said apologetically "Sorry" and he stepped back out of the door, shutting it with a soft click, Isla's attention had returned to the tape, Ilsa took her seat again and continued to watch as Sam and Emily started kissing and touching each other tentatively.

Ilsa sat there until the tape had finished, running a hand through her hair she stood up and pulled the tape out of the machine just staring at it. She still felt guilty for having to watch it, but she needed to know what had been on the tape. In the end she thought it would help the case. _'I hope it helps the case...'_

***  
Casey was walking around her office, circling her desk again, saying the same things over and over again trying to figure out which sounded the best.  
"Hey Ilsa" the young ADA said to herself "Would you maybe like to go out with me...sometime?" she groaned and ran a hand through her hair "I sound like a nervous teenager"

Casey stood behind her desk, trying to think of a better way to ask "Ilsa want to grab some coffee or something to eat...gah that's just as bad" She spent the next few minutes trying to think of others way to ask if Ilsa would consider going out with her. "Shouldn't this be easy, like asking a man out, why is it so hard to me to ask her"

Casey stopped speaking when she heard a knock at the door, Then it was opened whoever was on the other side obviously didn't feel like waiting for Casey to give the ok to come inside. _'Speak of the devil'_ she thought as she saw the object of her dismay walk through the doorway.

Casey was going to say something about the way Ilsa had treated her earlier, but the look on the detectives face made her stop, she looked like someone had just killed her dog and Casey didn't have the heart to make Ilsa feel any worse right now.

"Hey" The detective mumbled, starting down at the floor with her hands in her coat pocket.

"Hello Detective" Casey said sitting down, she didn't want to upset the detective anymore then she already seemed, but that didn't mean she was going to let her forget about the fight earlier in the day "Can I help you?"

"We've got some new evidence" Ilsa responded "I think it's going to help the case"

"But?" Casey said, sensing the next word would be a 'but'

Ilsa gave her an odd look "I don't know, I think this case is just getting to me…"

Then Casey understood, Ilsa was reaching out in a way, what for she didn't know, Maybe just someone to help her understand it, maybe someone to listen, either way Casey decided she was going to be that person right now.

"What did you find?" Casey asked as she motioned for Ilsa to take the seat on the opposite side of her desk.

"Pictures and letters…and a tape" she mumbled the last part as she flopped down into the seat.  
"what's on the tape?" Casey ventured  
"Emily and Samantha in a compromising position"

"What?"

Ilsa sighed "A sex tape, they made a sex tape and Asael got his hands on it…"  
"You watched the tape?"

Ilsa nodded "I feel dirty"

"Because you watched a sex tape?" Casey asked slightly confused  
"Because I watched something that was supposed to be a token of love between to people, I feel like I violated that by watching the damn tape"

Ilsa sat, just staring at a spot on Casey's desk, contemplating the events of that day.  
Casey watched the detective across from her, wondering what was going through her mind. _'maybe now is a good time to try and ask her out'_ she thought.

"Ilsa-" Casey managed to get out before the shrill ringing of Ilsa's phone but her off.  
"Couri" the detective said in a sharp tone, making it clear she wasn't in the happiest mood.

Casey watched as her friends face paled, making her wonder even more as to what was being said.  
"You're joking?….Where?" Ilsa quickly before hanging up the phone and getting to her feet, all the self pitty from before gone

"I gotta go" she said quickly, moving hurriedly to the door "Maybe we can continue this later"  
"What's wrong?" Casey called after her worried why her friend had to leave so quickly

"It's Emily" Ilsa managed to call back before disappearing out of the ADA's office.

**Please R&R :) Hope you all like and I'll get to work on the next chapter now**


	26. Chapter 26

**I apologise for taking so long again, I think there must be something special about my house because someone tried to break in again, although it is a funny story because the man trying to get in smashed a window and put his arm through trying to open it my brother woke up and yelled at him, needles to say the man ran away in what i assume was fear, my brother is like 6 ft tall and can be very scary looking, he is also a wrestler so he isn't someone to mess wiht, I don't know about anyone else but I got a cheap laugh out of the story. On a happier note i bought myself a laptop which means I no longer have to wait to do my typing so i should get some more of my story done (Assuming no one tries to break in again) Anyway...damn this note is longer then i thought, Anyway I hope this chapter is good, but if not tell me and I'll be happy to redo it** :)

Ilsa didn't stop as she made her way to her car. After starting it as quickly as she could she took off, going as fast as she could flipping on the sirens as she drove, The call she had received minutes before had been bad, Samantha had called to tell Ilsa that there was something wrong with Emily, she had locked herself in a room with a gun, it didn't take a genius to see that this was not a good thing. As Ilsa drove her phone began to ring again, she picked it up and answered in a crisp tone.

"Hey Ilsa, we've got a problem" Said Olivia from the other end of the phone.  
"If it's about Emily, Sam already called me and I'm on my way" she replied as she kept going through the traffic in front of her.

"Alight, I'm almost there so I'll see you soon" Olivia said before she hung up her phone. Ilsa tossed her phone onto the seat next to her and pushed her foot down on the petal, pushing the car a little faster.

She pulled up and found Samantha and Olivia waiting for her as well as a few more people, Emily's brother and her parents and the Reyes family. Ilsa had barely gotten her foot out of the car before Sam was by the door talking rapidly with her baby in her arms. Ilsa stepped out and placed her hands on Sam's shoulders in a calming manner "Hey, hey calm down ok" she couldn't really understand what the distraught woman was saying.

Sam was breathing heavy trying to get some much needed oxygen into her lungs, trying to calm herself down so she could tell Ilsa the rest of the problem. After a few seconds she had managed to get her breathing to an acceptable level "Emily, S-She's inside and she's got a gun and- and she's just acting crazy you have to help her!" she yelled quickly.

"You Detective" Carrisa yelled as she walked over to the two women, giving Sam an evil glare "I want you to get that heathen out of my house" her voice cold and her eyes emotionless, Like she truly didn't care about her own daughter.

"Excuse me?" Ilsa asked shocked at what she was hearing "That's your daughter in there, How can you say that?"

"I have no daughter" Carrisa spat, she then turned around and walked back to her husband and son.

Olivia had made her way over to the two women, watching as Carrisa walked away "Emily is inside Ilsa, we're trying to talk Emily out of hurting herself but she's pretty emotional"

"I can see why" Ilsa scoffed, disgusted at the way Carrisa was acting. If there wasn't anyone around she would have smacked the woman.

Samantha looked at Ilsa with big teary eyes "please help her" she begged.

Ilsa nodded and ran to the back of the house, not wanting to wait for anyone else, she slowly reached out and tried the handle, turning it gently she pushed the door open with a slight creak, she crept through the house, hearing the faint sounds of sobbing coming from somewhere in the house, Ilsa made her way in that direction of the sobs.

"Go away!" Emily sobbed when she heard her door creak open, she was sitting in the corner of her room with a gun in her hand, it was just too much to deal with right now. Everything that had happened and was happening, it was like her whole world was falling apart and she could do nothing but watch as it crumpled away.

"It's Detective Couri Emily, I'm going to open the door ok, I just want to talk" Ilsa said in a calming manner, she pushed the door open and stuck her head in, she saw the defeated look in the young girls eyes.

"Get out" Emily said menacingly when she saw the detective, she moved the gun and pointed it at Ilsa, The detective put her hands up.

"I'm going to put my gun down ok" Ilsa slowly moved to grab her gun and after taking out the clip put it on the floor "See, I'm un armed and I just want to talk" she took another step closer to the distraught girl.

"I don't want to talk!" Emily sobbed "I just want it to stop"

"I know, I know you do, but this isn't the way to do it" Ilsa moved in further and took a seat near Emily, not getting to close to, in case she upset her more then she already was. "Tell me what's going on"

Emily couldn't stop the tears even if she wanted to, let out a chocked sob "it isn't fair" she cried

Ilsa's heart was breaking for the girl "What, what isn't fair?" she asked, she had a feeling she already knew the answer she was about to get.

"H-He raped me!" she yelled, getting up from where she had been sobbing and pacing around the room "A-and now everything has gone to hell, n-nobody looks at me the same, I can't sleep can't eat, I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore…"

"We've got more evidence now" Ilsa said, hoping it might make her feel even minutely better "He had some photos of you and some letters you and Sam wrote to each other…"

"There was a video missing, did you find that?"

Ilsa nodded "Yes we did"

"Did you see what was on it?"

Ilsa sighed "Yes…" she answered reluctantly

"Oh god" Emily sobbed "So now everyone knows?"

"No, I was the only one who watched the video, I'm sorry I didn't want to but I had to"

Emily was crying hard "M-my parents found out, they disowned me…called me a freak and a sinner and told me to leave, my mother said 'she wasn't going to let a whore live in her house', what do I do now?" she asked turning to Ilsa "I don't have anyone"

"That's not true" Ilsa said standing up "There is a woman out there who loves you more than anything in the world, she doesn't care what happened, she just wants you to be ok"

"Well I'll never be ok" Emily clutched the gun tighter

"I know what you're going through Emily-"

"No you don't!" She screamed and pointed the gun at Ilsa's face "You don't' know anything, you think you do but that's it!"

Ilsa had a calm look on her face "I know what it's like to have your body used, to feel so out of control you can only sit back and watch as everything happens and hope when it's done you haven't lost everything you used to be"

Emily's hand began to shake

"You need to talk to someone, I wish I could go back, I wish when it happened to me I had someone to talk to me and help me, If you want to shoot me, shoot me, but I'm telling you to talk to someone"

The young woman lowered the gun "Why do I need to talk to someone, you seem to have a pretty good life and you didn't need to talk"

Ilsa scoffed, but moved closer and wrapped an arm around Emily, trying not to startle her "If you call having nightmares every night and waking up covered in sweat and hoping you weren't screaming a good life" Ilsa gave a soft smile "Look at it this way…If my life is good and I never got help, then getting help an only make yours so much better than mine"

Emily dropped the gun and wrapped her arms around Ilsa, holding on for dear life. "Does it ever get easier?" she asked, her voice muffled as she buried her head into the detectives neck and cried.  
Ilsa moved the gun with one hand and stroked her back with the other one "I don't know, but you have a woman who loves you no matter what, so I think it can get better, it'll just take time…"

"How do you know what I'm going through?" Emily asked looking up with watery eyes  
Ilsa didn't wasn't to talk about it, but it seemed like a good enough time to do so, she had just reassured this girl that it wasn't the end of the world, the least she could was tell her how she knew that.

"My…Farther, If you can call him that, was a very bad man and hurt me for a lone time"  
"How did you get away? How did you get over it?"

Ilsa paused and considered her answer, she was being truthful so far, she didn't see the sense in stopping now "I didn't" she muttered, hoping the girl in her arms didn't hear her.

Casey was sitting at her desk buried under paper work as usual, she was in the middle of reading something when she heard and knock on her door and looked up to see someone push it open slowly.

_'God I hope this isn't another motion'_ Casey thought as she waited for the person to come inside, she smiled when she saw Ilsa walk in, but the smile quickly left when she saw her friend was in not better mood then when she left.

"Hey" Casey said softly as Ilsa slowly shuffled her way to the seat across from the young lawyer.

"Hey" Ilsa mumbled back as she slowly lowered herself into the chair

"I Heard what happened...Is she ok?"

Ilsa nodded "She's going to need some therapy but apart from that she's good..."

"And you?" Casey asked reaching out and covering Ilsa's hand

The Detective opened her mouth to say something, but whatever it was she thought she was going to say wasn't there, she just didn't know how to put into words what she was feeling or thinking. "I'm...confused" she admitted "I'm not sure what is going on in my head, it's all jumbled and I don't know where to start"

"Then...just start wherever and we can go from there, tell me what's happening in that head of yours" Casey said in a concerned voice.

"This girl…she's a lesbian, and she grew up with a family that told her having those kinds of feeling for someone of the same sex is a sin, not to mention that her god frowns upon her love, a-and she finally finds a woman she loves and she finally, finally! Starts thinking that being gay isn't as bad as people make it out to be, and her life is getting better and she's found a girl to share her life with, then Asael comes along and decides he has to have this girl, find outs she a lesbian and tells her he's going to rape her to make her straight!" Ilsa said in a rushed breath, she got up out of the chair she was sitting in and ran a hand thought her hair

"This girl is going to spend years thinking that she's wrong, that she's not normal, and we can only hope that getting therapy will help her, if she didn't hate herself before she definitely does now and I…" Ilsa took a deep calming breath and flopped down into the chair "I just feel so bad for her"

Casey sat in her chair and patiently listened as Ilsa spoke some of what was on her mind.  
"Is that what happened to you? When you came out, Did people hate you and tell you your god would be mad?"

Ilsa let out a soft but humourless chuckle "I got told _a_ God would not accept me for being a fag, but I've been told all these things before, it doesn't really hurt anymore"

"A God?"

"I don't believe in god, I think he might be up there somewhere, but my faith lies in other places, I belong to a different religion"

"What religion?" Casey asked, trying to keep Ilsa talking to her.

"I'm a pastafarian and my deity is a flying spaghetti monster and I believe we are all touched by his noodley appendage" Ilsa said with a straight face, showing no emotion.

Casey blinked a few times then just started at Ilsa, before she saw the detectives lips into a smile and they both started to laugh.

"So um…" Ilsa muttered "What are we going to do about the DNA?"  
Casey sighed, after the excitement of earlier events she had forgotten about the fight she and Ilsa had had earlier that morning, concerning the DNA sample Ilsa had managed to get.

"Like I said I don't know if it'll be admissible…" Casey paused when she saw the crest fallen look on Ilsa's face "But I'll do everything I can to make sure it's allowed" she reached across the table and grabbed the detectives hand "We have a strong case Ilsa, you don't have anything to worry about"

"That's where you're wrong, I have a lot to worry about" Ilsa looked at her watch and got to her feet "I'd better let you get back to work, catch you later Novak" she said over her shoulder as she walked out the door.

Casey leaned her head back, and let out a long sigh, running her fingers through her hair she rested her eyes for a minute, letting everything sink in, before sitting up straight and getting back to her never ending case load. She had lost her chance to attempt make a move on the detective, but there was always more time.

**So the end, i hope you liked it, please R&R and I'll try post the next chapter soon :)**


	27. Chapter 27

**Ok took a lot longer then I thought to type this, I have a massive case of writers block and I've been doing everything I can to get rid of it, I had a bit of inspiration today and decided to try and finish this chapter, The inspiration didn't last to long but I told myself i would finish this before i went to bed. I hope you all like It and if not let me know and I shall redo it :).**

The trial, an inevitable part of any successful case, and one part Ilsa hated the most, It wasn't showing up and being put on the stand, It wasn't trying to make sure the victims could testify, If Ilsa thought about it, there were three reasons she hated going to court, she disliked lawyers immensely and didn't like to be in a room with them for too long, although since meeting and working with Casey she was hating them less and less, It was sitting there and listening to people come in and try to justify the crimes that the defendants had committed, how anyone could try and justify raping someone was beyond her…That and getting distracted by Casey every time she asked her a question, every time the young attorney would walk around the desk, or lean against it, several times she wanted to close her eyes, but people would think it weird if the Detective kept her eyes closed and did everything not to look at the prosecutor.

It hadn't gotten any easier as she hoped it would, time just seem to make it worse, it confused her to no end as to why she was so attracted to the young attorney, sure it wasn't the first time Ilsa had had feelings for someone, but after her last girlfriend she had given up on finding anyone, It wasn't an instant thing, sure the first time Ilsa saw Casey she thought the young woman was very attractive, but it wasn't anything more it wasn't physical or lustful, Ilsa was an admirer of beauty ,she knew a beautiful woman when she saw one and she saw that in Casey, Ilsa preferred to get to know people before deciding if she liked them enough to date them, personality meant more to her then what a person looked like.

She hadn't intended to get to know Casey, but after working her first case with the lawyer and getting to know her better she knew she was in trouble, Casey was kind and caring but also strong and sometimes a major bitch but in a good way, what surprised Ilsa the most was she found she could trust Casey, and trust didn't come easy to her, Ilsa had found she liked all of these qualities and that's why she wasn't happy, Casey was well out of her league and if that didn't make a difference the fact that she was straight did, Ilsa knew that if she wanted Casey in her life, it would have to be as a friend, maybe even a great friend, but that's all, so Ilsa decided she would fight her feelings, it's not like she hadn't done it in the past, she had done it many times…

"This won't be so bad" She said to herself as she finished getting dressed.

Casey was putting her arms through the sleeves of her jacket, getting ready for another long day at work. It was trial time, Casey has gone over every piece of evidence, over everyone's testimony and she was sure she had a strong case that she could win, she had practiced her opening argument several times still she had it perfect.

Casey always enjoyed her job; she loved the look on the defence attorney's face and that of their clients when they got told a guilty verdict and they realised they were going away for their terrible crimes. But lately she had been distracted, though her thoughts were still in the case; she found her mind wondering, mostly to that of a certain detective.

Casey didn't want to keep thinking about Ilsa, but she couldn't help it, no matter how much she concentrated she found herself thinking of Ilsa, what she was up to, how she was reacting to the case she was working, Casey knew she liked Ilsa as a friend, it had started soon after the first case Ilsa had worked, Casey had gotten to know her a bit more, even though the other woman was still very much an enigma to her, she was getting closer, and though Ilsa had odd mood swings and seemed odd at times, Casey saw the good, kind side of Ilsa.

Even though she wouldn't admit it out loud, Casey liked watching Ilsa around the precinct, the way she could be in the face of a perp one minute, ready to rip someone's head off and the second she needs to talk to a victim or a child she changes, and the kind and tender Ilsa comes out.

One of the things that bothered Casey the most was thinking about Ilsa in a less then friendly way. Ever since Ilsa had taken it upon herself to kiss her so long ago she hadn't really been able to stop thinking about the detectives lips on hers and each time she did she mentally kicked herself, trying to remind herself that it wasn't right to think about her in that way. They we're just friend after all right? Of course that's all they were, Ilsa hadn't really shown more than a friendly interest in her…had she? Ilsa flirted with practically everyone so that wasn't new. Casey felt particularly bad when she thought about Ilsa late at night, wondering what it would be like to get closer to her, thinking of her lips on hers, her hands running over her, The feelings would sometimes get to be a little too much for her, she would have to take care of it, that's when she felt the worst, Casey had never experimented with a woman before, the thought had never crossed her mind but Ilsa was different, Sure she was a woman but there was something about her, Ilsa was able to put a smile on Casey's face, and when Casey was feeling down Ilsa was able to make her laugh, she was comfortable around the other woman, in a way she hadn't felt since Charlie…That was one of the confusing parts, she had never felt for someone since her ex-fiancé and here she was pining over another woman.

Casey sighed, the more she thought about it the more pathetic it all seemed, Ilsa was unreadable, Casey couldn't tell if the woman reciprocated the feelings or not, it's why she was so reluctant to make a move, she didn't want to ruin such a good friendship, when she first joined SVU everyone else was so reluctant to trust her, she was followed by the ghost of Alexandra Cabot, every time something went wrong, she heard the whispers 'If Alex were still here she'd have done it right' and so on, but Ilsa didn't do that, sure she was mean towards her at first but she didn't see the former ADA, maybe that was one reason for her feelings, Ilsa treated her like her own person, and not the woman who took over for ADA Cabot.

Finishing putting on her outfit she left her apartment, It was time to start the trial against Asael Garcia.

***  
Casey was standing outside the courtroom, they were scheduled very soon. Ilsa was with her leaning against a wall and Casey could stop herself from thinking Ilsa cleaned up nicely, she had her hair hanging around her shoulders and she had some make up on, something the detective didn't do much.  
Casey was most surprised when Ilsa had shown up in a skirt, something she didn't think she detective would ever do, seeming far to butch for such a thing.

Ilsa was doing her best to remain nonchalant, keeping her head down as she waited for Emily to arrive, trying to think of anything to stop her form looking over at the young attorney. She was dressed in what Ilsa thought of as her 'lawyer outfit', today she was wearing a blouse that seemed a little tight across the chest, or maybe that was just wishful thinking on Ilsa's part, and her skirt seemed a little shorter, and it was taking all her will power not to stare at her legs. _'Legs that go on for ever'_

"I've never seen you in a skirt before" Casey said, breaking the awkward silence that hung between the two.

Ilsa was snapped out of her day dreaming but Casey's soft voice "I thought I'd try and look nice today" she said with a small smirk.

"You told them were to meet us right?" Casey asked checking her watch, watching as the hands moved to single another minuted had gone by.

Ilsa nodded "Yeah" She pushed herself off the wall and moved over to the attorney, putting her hand on her shoulder and giving a slight squeeze "Just relax Casey, you've never been this nervous over a case before"

_'I know'_ she thought _'it's not the case making me nervous'_ "I just want this case to go smoothly you know, I don't want him getting off and finding more people to hurt"

Ilsa gave her a reassuring smile "There is no chance of that with you prosecuting"

Casey swallowed and kept looking into Ilsa's eyes, Ilsa didn't turn away or take her hands off her friends shoulders, she just kept smiling her reassuring smile. After a moment Casey looked away, clearing her throat and look anywhere but at the detective.

After a somewhat uncomfortable moment, Samantha arrived with Emily in tow; they both had sullen looks on their faces with good reason too. Emily had been doing well since the incident earlier where she had wanted to take her own life, finding it too hard to deal with the pain. She had taken Ilsa's advice and start talking to a therapist.

"Hi" The detective said kindly as the two young women approached.  
"We might have a bit of a problem" Samantha said once they were close enough  
"What is it?" Asked Casey concerned

"Emily is nervous about testify" she replied, grabbing onto her girlfriends hand and squeezing in a reassuring way.

Ilsa walked closer to Emily and put a comforting hand on her shoulder "Hey" she said "It's ok to be nervous and even scared, but no one I know had regretted facing their attacker."

Emily looked into the woman's eyes "Will he go to jail? If I testify"

Ilsa took a deep breath and licked her dry lips "I think he will, once they head what he did, don't worry with Casey prosecuting I have faith he'll end up where he deserves"

Emily smiled at the woman, and Ilsa could see there was something missing, something that was their before her unfortunate attack and something that couldn't be replaced, but Ilsa had faith that maybe one day a bit of her old self would come back, or maybe something better might replace it.

"So…are we ready?" Casey asked, she didn't want to rush but they were due in court in a few moments. Emily and Samantha walked away as Casey went to move too when she felt a warm hand gently grasp her wrist.

"I've been following this case closely you know but after everything that happened with Emily I've forgotten something, what is Asael's reason for doing this, I know he claims 'not guilty'" Ilsa whispered

"he claims his religion made him do it, that and the way he was raised…"

"Emily" Casey asked as she stepped around from behind the table "Can you tell us what you were doing in that alley so early in the morning?"

Emily swallowed before answering "I was sent a note, by Asael, to meet him there"

Casey stood in front of the witness stand "And what happened when you got there?"

Emily closed her eyes, clasping her hands together, the memory of the event burning fresh on her mind, she opened her eyes and look out, searching the faces for the one she wanted, her eyed fell on Samantha and next to her detective Couri. She took a deep breath before she spoke.

"I walked down the alley and saw Asael there, I thought we were just going to talk, but…he said some mean things to me, and he hit me, broke my arm and when I was down on the ground he…he"

"He what" Casey prompted

"He raped me…" she said just loud enough for people to hear.

Some people murmured when they heard what she said. The judge banged the gavel to get their attention back on the case at hand.

"Why did he want to meet you?" she asked

"He said he had some photos and other things and wanted to talk about it…"

"What do did he want to talk about?"

Emily sighed, now or never "Talk about me…being gay…"

After more witnesses and the presentation of evidence, it was time for Asael to be called to the stand. He was seated and sworn in, he was dressed nicely, in a dark suit, his hair neatly put in place and a charming smile on his face, a smile that made Casey sick. She sat at her table waiting for her turn to question him, to show the jury what kind of a man he was, she tried not to show how bored she was listening to the defence's questions, she turned her head to see who was sitting behind her and was greeted by the reassuring smile of Ilsa.

The jury knew that Emily was gay and it didn't seem to bother them too much, Casey only hoped they weren't stupid enough to believe that Asael raped the poor girl to help her.

His lawyer, a high priced man in an expensive suit slowly walked over to his client, he was a rather handsome looking man with a bright white smile, no doubt someone with a lot of money who liked Asael had paid for him.

"Tell me Mr Garcia, how do you know young miss Emily?" he asked in a smooth voice.

"We go to church together, I thought she was a good god fearing woman not a" he paused

"A what?" his lawyer asked.

"A sinner, the depraved things she was doing, I was trying to save her immortal soul" he said in a dramatic way.

"So you only did what you did to try and save the young woman from a life of evil?"

"Of course, I'm not a bad man" he said putting on a sad remorseful face "I was just trying to save her, I was raised to believe that being a queer was wrong and that you had to do whatever you could to save someone from that life" He took a breath and looked out to the jury "My farther told he how when he was my age they used to beat them, I didn't want to have to do that, I thought if I showed her the love of a man she would stop it"

It went on like that, Asael claiming her was just trying to help, and it was the way he was taught to deal with the situation. And his lawyer kept finding more and more ways to word it but it was all a bunch of crap to Casey and once she got her chance she was going to prove it.

After sitting through the defences questioning it was her turn, she looked up and smiled at Asael.  
"So you never meant to hurt her?" she asked

Asael shook his head "No ma'am I was only trying to save her"

"How were you trying to save her when you broke her arm?"

Asael stiffened in his seat "That was an accident; if she hadn't been fighting it wouldn't have happened"

"What did you expect her to do?" Casey asked quickly "You were trying to force yourself on her".

Asael looked down and didn't answer her

"Is it true that you found and then stole pictures of Emily with her girlfriend?"

"No I-"

"But the police found them in your room, along with a video tape of them you deny having them?" Casey was leaving no room for him to weasel his way out of the situation. His lawyer jumped up from his table  
"Objection!"

"over ruled" the judge said, waiting for Casey to continue.

"OK yes I found the tape and the photos, that how I knew what she was and got the idea to save her."

"Why don't you just tell the truth Mr Garcia, You wanted Emily but she kept refusing you, then you found out she was with another woman, a woman instead of a man like you and it made you mad and you had to teach her a lesson, so you sent her the letter to meet you knowing full well you we're going to rape her" Casey turned to walk back to her seat when Asael jumped up from his seat and started to yell at her.

"She's a whore, she chooses to lay with women knowing that it's a sin, I had to show her she was wrong. And she knows as well as I do she loved being with a real man, I was the only one willing to save her! The pictures and movies she had were disgusting! She is disgusting!"

"Order, Order!" the judge yelled slamming the gavel down, When Asael refused to sit back down and kept on screaming at Casey and whoever else he could think of the judge ordered the court officers to remove him.

With his temper past boiling point he let it out.

"You can't do this! I was trying to save her, how can you sit there and defend her you bitch! He called out before using all of his strength to push off the officers, as quick as he could managed he had grabbed one of their guns, levelling it he pointed it at Casey.

"Emily is going to hell for her sins but she won't be alone" he snarled before pulling the trigger.

The colour drained from Casey's face when she saw the gun, her heart sped up when she heard the piercing bang, she closed her eyes, waiting for the impact of the bullet, waiting…waiting…Instead she felt herself being pushed and falling down when she couldn't keep her footing, pain rang through her head as it hit the corner of the table and a small gash cut into the skin. Another bang and Asael was down on the ground. Another court officer had managed to get a shot off into him, Casey didn't know if he was going to be ok but she didn't care, her ears we're ringing and her head was throbbing.

She sat up quickly and saw exactly who had pushed her into the table moment before the bullet could hit her, a scream escaped her throat, Ilsa was laying limp on the ground, blood was seeping through her shirt  
"Oh god" Casey quickly scrambled over to her friend and put her hands over the bullet wound, pushing down trying to stop the bleeding, she whimpered when blood began to coat her hands.

"Someone call an ambulance!" she yelled looking down at the pale face of her detective and the blood covering her hands and most of the bleeding woman's chest.  
"Hang on Ilsa please…" she begged****

Hope you enjoyed this Chapter, Will hopefully get rid of this writers block and have the next chapter up soon. Please R&R :)


	28. Chapter 28

**I sat up until 3 in the morning, knowing I have to get up in a few hours for work so that I could get this done for you guys, I really hope you like it, I clearly have no medical know how so I did what i could wiht those parts. So here we are enjoy.**

It all happened so slowly, or so it seemed to Ilsa, it actually happened fairly quickly, She had been sitting behind Casey watching the trial with half interest, she cursed herself when her thoughts went to Casey and not in a professional way. She smiled reassuringly at Emily as she testified, short of jumping up and screaming "You can do it!" It was the only way she could reassure the girl.

Casting Asael a glare as he took his seat on the stand, Ilsa sat and listened with disgust as he tried to justify what he had done to Emily. She rolled her eyes several times as he spoke, and waited for Casey to start her questioning, knowing she'd show the jury what kind of a person he was.

Ilsa hadn't really expected Asael to freak out on the stand, but wasn't too surprised; Casey had a way of pushing people's buttons. It was normal for some perps to try and fight the court officers as they dragged them out of the room. Ilsa was watching along with everyone else in the room when he was being dragged away, she wanted to beat the shit out of him for the things he was saying.

When he pushed off the officers and pulled out one of their guns out all logical thought disappeared from her. She had her gun with her, she could have pulled it out and shot him, but the only thought going through her mind, was that this kid had a gun and it was pointed at Casey.

She moved fast, jumping up and reaching out to get Casey out of the way, it started getting kind of fuzzy after she felt pain searing through her chest, she couldn't move and breathing was becoming an issue. She coughed as the bitter coppery taste of blood filled her mouth, she would have spat out the blood in her mouth is she had the energy to do so.

Instead she lay on the floor, bleeding out from the bullet to the chest, she felt cold and tired, like the energy was slowly being taken from her body, she couldn't see people anymore, they were just blobs in her sight and the words they spoke to her turned to gibberish in her ears.

She could hear one voice though, but it was taking too much effort to try and concentrate when all she wanted to do was rest.

"Hand on Ilsa please" was the last thing she heard before her world feel completely to black.

Ilsa was loaded into an Ambulance, paramedics working fast to try and keep the wounded detective stable until they could get her to the hospital and into an operating room, Casey had called Don and told him what had happened, she followed the paramedics and got into the ambulance with them, She was using all the will she had to stop herself from breaking down. Her heart broke as she looked down at her detective, her face pale, so much pale, so pale. Her were continuously drawn to the wound on her chest, covered now to try and slow to bleeding, but blood was still seeping through. The thought _'It should have been me'_ Kept going through her mind.

The young Paramedics we're doing everything they could, when suddenly Ilsa stopped breathing.

"Oh shit we're losing her" he called out

Casey's eyes widened when she heard those words _'losing her? We can lose her'_ She watched helplessly as they went about trying to save the bleeding woman, Casey did the only thing she could think off, she started to pray, praying that Ilsa would be ok, that she would be saved.

"We've got pulse!"

The words snapped the young attorney back to reality.

"How long until we get there?"  
"We're almost there" The driver called back "Just a few more minutes"

As the ambulance pulled into the hospital a team of doctors we're already there, waiting for then, the doctors quickly took Ilsa away informing Casey that she had to wait until they finished surgery. When she asked how her friend would be, the look on the doctors face was less then encouraging.

"We'll do everything we can to save her" he said before turning and rushing off.

Casey made her way to the waiting room, slowly, trying to take in the whole situation, the thought that Ilsa might not make it was a crushing one. She looked up and saw Donald Cragen and Olivia standing there.

"What happened?" Olivia asked as she ran over to the young ADA, Casey looked up slowly, looking confused and dazed.

Olivia led her to a seat next to Captain Cragen "Casey can you tell me what happened?" she asked again, casting a glance down she saw the blood on her hands, It was also covering her shirt, She also noticed the cut on Casey's head, above her eyes brow.

"It, uh…At the…" Casey was having a hard time trying to

Olivia looked up at Donald, his face was blank, but she knew what he was feeling, she was feeling it to, she had been walking into Donald's office to tell him she was done with her paper work and was heading home when she saw him on the phone, his face losing colour as the conversation went on. He hung up the phone quickly.

"Ilsa's been shot"

That was all Olivia needed to hear before she ran to the car with Don and drove to the hospital, sirens blaring as they sped to get to their friend. Now here she was, waiting for any information on her friend.

"Casey-" Ilsa was about to ask a what happened again when a voice interrupted her.

"Where is she?"  
She looked over and saw who it was and her heart clenched, with dishevelled blond hair and wide eyes, Sam was standing there with a frantic look on his face, and standing next to him was Josh, looking scared and confused.  
They both ran forward when they noticed Olivia and Donald.

"Sam what are you doing here?" She asked

"What am I doing here?" he asked "I got a call saying Ilsa was bought in here, where is she?"

Donald and Casey had walked over when they heard Sam demanding and explanation

"She's been shot" Donald answered "She's in surgery now…the doctors don't know if she'll make it" he said sadly.

"h-how did this happen?" he asked, his voice thick with emotion, Josh just stood at his side listening.

"Me" Casey croaked "We were in court…"

"Right the Asael case, she said she couldn't pick up Josh because of it"

"He took one of the officer's gun a-and tried to shoot me" she choked "It's all my fault" she said a the tears she had been trying to hold back came tumbling out. Olivia wrapped an arm around the crying woman and led her to a seat.  
"She got shot trying to save me" the ADA sobbed.

Josh walked over to the woman and sat down next to Casey, he also wrapped his arms around her.  
"It's ok" he said kindly "I think mum would be more upset if you got hurt"  
Casey and Olivia turned to look at Josh who had a smile similar to one that Ilsa would have on.

The little boy bit his lip "Aunty Liv?" he asked is my mum going to be ok?"

The adults all looked at each other, each wondering what to say to the young boy, how could they say that his mother might not make it out of surgery.

"She's going to be ok" Olivia finally said "You're mother is to stubborn to die" It coaxed a smile out of him, and everyone standing around. Josh didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms tighter around Casey and snuggle close, offering her all the comfort he could.

"It's going to be ok Miss Novak" he whispered

"Call me Casey" she said back as she moved her arms around him.

"It's going to be ok Miss Casey, mum likes you too much so she's going to be ok so she can see you again"

Casey looked down but Josh just gave her a knowing smile before steeling back down against her, getting ready for the long wait.

"Go home Sam, take Josh with you" Donald said, placing a calming hand on his shoulder.  
"I can't leave, Josh will want to see her the second he can" Sam said, he was holding a cup of coffee in his hands, glad they weren't shaking so bad anymore. He wasn't sure how much time had passed, frankly he was too scared to look at the clock, he was scared that if he did only a short amount of time would have passed.

Olivia was sitting in a chair, trying to read a magazine, she had read the same article 3 times now and she couldn't process the words, she looked next to her, Josh had fallen asleep, his head was resting on Casey's lap. After getting her a clean shirt and having someone look at the cut on her head, Casey had sat back down with Josh, neither one speaking, just offering comfort. Soon he had fallen asleep, Casey didn't have the heart to move the boy so she let him lay there, slowly running her figures though his hair and softly praying.

Sam sighed and looked at the clock finally "When are we going to be told anything" he said "She's been in there for hours…I'm going to find a nurse" He said before walking off. Donald just let him go and walked to sit next to Olivia.

"What do you think her chances are?" she asked quietly so Casey and Josh didn't hear  
Captain Cragen sighed "A normal person, not much…Ilsa, I reckon she's going to come out of there annoying as ever"  
Olivia let out a small chuckle "She is one stubborn son of a bitch"

"How's Josh taking it?" Cragen asked looking at the boy.  
"He's asleep now, I think he's just holding it in"  
Don shook his head "Too much like his mother"

Sam came back into the waiting room looking worse than he did before.  
"What happened?" Don asked getting up from his seat  
"She's still in surgery" he said, his voice shaky "They lost her on the table, they don't think she'll make it, she's losing a lot of blood" Tears started falling down his face "I don't think I could face it if we lost her" he weakly said.

"Hey" Don said "Do you really think a little bullet is going to stop her? How many crazy things has she done in her life?" But the words we're of hallow hope, both knew that if the doctors couldn't save her it was over.

Casey looked over at Olivia "What do you think they are talking about?" she asked motioning to the two men  
"Same thing we all want to know about, Ilsa"  
Casey paused for a minute "Tell me she'll be ok" she said her voice filled with unshed tears  
"She'll be fine"  
"You're lying aren't you?"  
"Maybe, we'll find out when the doctors are done"

Casey looked back down at the boy in her lap, he was a lot like Ilsa, But not so alike he had to lose his mother young too.

Casey had fallen asleep too, her head resting against the back of the chair, Josh still asleep in her lap, Sam had left to go for a walk to get some fresh air, asking Olivia to keep an eye on Josh.

This was the most calm Olivia had seen Casey since she came in, the whole thing had really upset her. Add that to the fact that Ilsa had done it to save her, she knew Casey would be feeling responsible, but Olivia knew Ilsa well enough to know that she wouldn't have had it any other way, Ilsa would do anything to save a friend, that included taking a bullet to the chest.

Donald walked over with a fresh cup of coffee for his detective. She accepted with a smile and let the warm liquid roll down her throat. "Thanks Don" she said after she had finished taking a sip "How long do you think?"

"Not long" he answered "Ilsa never could sit still for a long period of time"

Just then a doctor walked over to them "Are you the family of Miss Couri?" he asked  
Don and Olivia we're on their feet quickly.

"Yes how is she?" Olivia asked franticly  
"She's out of surgery" he said.  
Casey and Josh slowly opened there eyes, noticing Olivia and Don with the doctor they got up and made their way over as well.

"We lost her once of the operating table but we managed to bring her back, she's lost a lot of blood too, And after surgery like this she'll need all the rest she can get, but hopefully with time she'll be back to normal?"

"Will she be able to work again?" Olivia asked, knowing that being a detective was the most important thing to her, after her son of course.

The doctor nodded "In time yes, but she'll be sitting working from the desk for a while"  
"Don't worry I'll make sure of it" Don said.

Sam had walked back in to see the doctor and the relived looks on everyone's faces, he quickly ran up to them.  
"How is she?"  
"She's going to be ok" Donald said with a huge grin on his face.

"Can we see her?" Josh asked  
"Please" Casey added

The Doctor shook his head "She's asleep and resting right now, no one can se her"  
"Look doc" Sam said, all patience out of his voice "You'll want to let these two in their now because if she wakes up you'll have one very upset and difficult patient, and if you don't let them in I'll have my farther call your boss and believe me you don't want that"

The doctor looked at the man threatening him, trying to gauge if he was telling the truth "OK you two can go in, but only quickly, she's still asleep"

"Thank you" Sam said with a smug smile

"Don't you want to see mum, dad?" Josh asked looking up at his farther.  
He smiled down at his son, he grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him into a hug "I'll see her later, when she's feeling a bit better, right now I think it's really important she sees you and Casey"

Josh nodded then grabbed Casey's hand "Come on Miss Casey"

***  
The Doctor led Casey and Josh to Ilsa's room "Only a few minutes" he warned.

They slowly walked inside, the walls we're white and it had that 'hospital' smell, they saw detective, a blanket covered her up to her chin and she was still slightly pale but at least she had more colour to her cheeks then when Casey last saw her. A machine was hooked up to her, keeping track of her heart rate and a drip was stuck in her arm.

They walked closer, till they we're beside her bed.  
"Oh Ilsa" Casey sighed, reaching out to touch the woman through the blanket.  
"Mum" Josh said as he reached his hand out to touch her cheek, he pulled his hand back and grabbed Casey "Look" he said pointing with his free hand to his mother's face.

Ilsa slowly blinked her eyes open, wanting to close them when the harsh light came into focus. She started to breathe harder and the beeping of the machine showed it.

"I feel like I got hit by a truck…a truck with a gun"s he murmured softly, still not quite awake.

"Mum it's ok" Josh said, Ilsa slowly turned her head, tears filled her eyes when she saw her son.

"Joshy" she said, her voice hoarse "oh baby" she said and reached out from under the blanket to pull him closer, pain shot through her chest, but she ignored it so she could hold her son close "Sorry if I scared you"

"It's ok, I knew you would be ok" he said, but Ilsa could hear in his voice how he felt, and the red puffy eyes didn't fool her "You're too stubborn to die like this"

Ilsa furrowed her brow then started to laugh, then she started coughing, liking back on the bed, she let her son go and groaned "Don't make me laugh, it hurts right now"

"Ok, I'm sorry" he said, he cast a glance at the woman standing next to him "I'm going to tell dad you're ok, Can I come back and see you soon?" he asked with a smile

Ilsa smiled weakly "You don't need to ask honey, visit anytime" With that the young boy ran out of the room to find his farther.

Ilsa's gaze followed him out of the room, then she noticed Casey "Oh god are you ok?" she asked, Casey moved up to the head of the bed, Ilsa moved her hand up and gently touched where Casey had hit her head.

"Am I ok?" she asked, tears in her voice "You're the one who got shot!"  
Ilsa managed a slight shrug "It was worth it to save you, I couldn't let you get hurt"  
Casey grabbed Ilsa's hand and let some of the tears fall, before quickly wiping them away.  
"I was so worried I might lose you" she said  
"Sorry honey, you're stuck with me for a lot longer"

Ilsa closed her eyes for a minute; she was still in a lot of pain. Casey looked down at Ilsa, and though about how she had waited so long to let her know how she felt, deciding that enough time had been wasted she slowly leaned forward.

Ilsa opened her eyes when she felt a slight pressure on her lips, she moaned softly enjoying the feel of Casey's lips moving against her own. When Casey pulled back Ilsa couldn't stop the goofy grin that spread across her face.

"You know" Ilsa said smiling up at Casey "If all I had to do was get shot for you to kiss me like that…I'd have done it sooner"

Casey couldn't stop the relieved laugh that escaped "Oh god" she groaned "Promise me you won't go do anything stupid like this again"

"We both know that's a promise I can't make" Ilsa said seriously  
"So um Ilsa…" Casey said suddenly nervous "I was wondering if when you're better you'd…" she paused, wondering if she should ask now.

"Why Casey Novak are you trying to asked me out?" Ilsa asked hoping to help Casey work up the courage to ask.

"Maybe…" The attorney mumbled

"Would it help if I told you the answer is yes?"

"Definitely…Ilsa would you like to go out with me when you're feeling better?"

Ilsa smiled brightly, she considered saying something silly, or making a joke but decided against it, now wasn't the time, not after everything they had been through.  
"Yes Casey, I would love nothing move then to go out with you"

Casey couldn't stop the smile on her face "Great, well I better go before the doctor gets angry, I'll come back and visit soon"

Ilsa smiled kindly "Can't wait"

Casey turned to walk to the door when Ilsa called out to her  
"Casey?"

She turned around "Yes Ilsa?"

"I'm feeling much better now" she said with her trademark grin

Casey smiled gently "Goodbye Ilsa" she said

"Casey?"

She sighed, but happily "Yes Ilsa?"

"I'm sorry I worried you today"

"Get some rest, ok" Casey said and she turned to leave again, she could feel Ilsa watching her as she left.

Ilsa waited until Casey was out the door before she lay back down and winced from the pain, the full impact of getting shot and almost dying and being in surgery for how long she was there should have been upsetting, she should have been thanking some great deity that she was alive and would still be able to work, but Ilsa could only think of one thing.

"I've got a date"

**So here we are the end of the story, I hope you all liked it as much as I liked writing it, I'm sad to say I wont have anything up for a bit, I am planning on writing another story after this but I'm having trouble coming up with a good plot, if any of you have suggestions I would love to hear them, If not never fear! I've got an arsenal of inspirational music and a lot of Law and Order DVDs I'll come up wiht something eventually. :) Until then thank you for all the great comments they really ment a lot.  
**


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